


Fairytales of Yesterday

by padfootandprongsy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 13:53:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 117,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8210888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootandprongsy/pseuds/padfootandprongsy
Summary: In their final two years of school, the marauders begin to realise that nothing stays the same forever. Love is blossoming, NEWTs are approaching, the threat of war grows ever closer, and as their time together at Hogwarts draws to a close, difficult decisions about the future must be made.





	1. The Potters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is basically our take on the marauders time at Hogwarts! We wrote it throughout our three years at uni then did a big re-edit over the past few months to make sure it all made sense. It was a lot of fun to write about these characters and the whole host of side characters who also appear along the way, so hopefully it's enjoyable to read too! 
> 
> Triggers may apply to some chapters but will be warned against at the start of those particular chapters.

Sirius had walked up the Potters' driveway more times than he could count over the years. Some of his happiest memories were here, during the few short summer weeks when he'd managed to escape his parents' house. He could remember running up the front path with James, soaked after being caught in a sudden downpour, along with numerous occasions where they’d come home filled with triumph after a successful prank – both grinning wildly.  

Once, Sirius had been rushing up the path with the other marauders trailing behind, exhausted from their long trek to the nearest town, when James had slipped, lost his balance and gone down hard on the uneven concrete. Mrs Potter had appeared at the door within seconds as the others pulled him up, filled with motherly concern and a sympathetic smile. Sirius had learnt very quickly that bruises from clumsy teenagers weren't the only things that James' parents were good at fixing. There were the mundane things – like Mr. Potter fixing his broom in the summer before second year, when he barely knew him and was still too young to appreciate it properly – and there were the moments that mattered much more. No matter how reckless he and James seemed to be, no matter how many times Sirius expected them to be furious with him, James’ parents were never anything but calm, fixing their scrapes without a word of complaint and shaking their heads at them with a smile that betrayed amusement. At Grimmauld Place, everything always seemed to be his fault, but with the Potters, Sirius felt like he could let out a deep breath that he didn’t even know he’d been holding –he could be himself without fear of what his parents might say, or do to him.

Sirius had never walked up the front path like this, when he shouldn't be there at all. He'd always given at least a day's notice, asking for permission that he knew would be granted without question. But this was different; this wasn't him asking to stay for a few weeks until school started back up. This was him lugging a heavy trunk containing everything he now owned, its sides bulging comically despite how many of his possessions he'd had to sacrifice and leave behind. He was more tired than he'd ever felt in his life, and only a small part of his bone-deep exhaustion was a result of the half hour walk from where he'd got off the bus. He was still wearing dress robes with a ridiculous lace collar from the _family dinner_ , as though he'd dressed up specially to celebrate his estrangement. Even now, hours later, he shook with anger when he remembered the looks on the faces of his mother and cousins.

He came to a stop on the doorstep and let go of his trunk, allowing it to fall to the ground with such a racket that someone surely must have heard it. Despite it being almost eleven, there was still, thankfully, the flicker of candle light seeping through the curtains.

Sirius raised his hand to knock, trying to push down his irrational panic that James' family would turn him away, but just as he was about to release the knocker, the door flew open. James stood on the other side of it, surrounded by bright light that hurt Sirius' eyes after his trek down the barren, unlit country roads. He was obviously ready for bed, wearing shorts and an old t-shirt with a hippogriff on it.

"Hi," was all Sirius said, but James knew. Sirius could tell by his expression. He'd already grabbed Sirius' arm, and before he could protest, he was pulled into the warm house, the door was closed behind him, his trunk was at the bottom of the stairs, and James was giving him one of his looks. Not the good kind either, not a look that promised he had a brilliant idea, but the sort of look that was full of nauseating concern and the silent promise that he would fix everything. This time, though, Sirius wasn't sure that things could be fixed.

He sighed, wanting nothing more than to go to bed and forget everything that had happened in the past few hours; but he knew he owed the Potters an explanation, so he nodded at James in a way that was supposed to be reassuring and let himself be led into the living room.

* * *

 

James was worried. Sirius was usually filled with an energy that made it impossible for him to sit still, but when he gestured for Sirius to sit down, he sank into the armchair like he would never move again. The casual confidence that was normally present in his every movement was now gone; his shoulders slumped and he looked weighed down, like his limbs had turned to lead. His eyes were still bright as least, though so full of fury that James was half-convinced his stare would bore a hole in the carpet.

He didn't know how or why it had happened, but he had the definite feeling that Sirius had finally snapped and walked out on his family for good. Otherwise he wouldn't have turned up like this – not this late at night, with his school trunk so full it looked like it would burst open at any moment and an expression on his face that James last remembered seeing at the start-of-term feast four years ago, when Regulus had been sorted into Slytherin.

In the formal clothes he was wearing, Sirius looked out of place in James' living room, sitting in a worn armchair with stains on one arm where James' dad always rested his coffee mug and frequently knocked it over. But there was a tear in his shirt and mud splattered up the legs of his trousers; James wondered how difficult it had been for Sirius to get here, and was sorry that he'd had to make the journey alone.

His parents sat down on the sofa together, watching Sirius with matching expressions of concern. James stayed standing, crossing his arms over his chest, and cleared his throat.

"What happened?" There was probably a less blunt way of asking, but James didn't exactly excel at subtlety, and straightforward questions were normally the best way to get through to Sirius.

Dragging his gaze away from the floor, Sirius looked at James with a strangely unguarded expression. He pushed his fingers through his tangled hair, which looked almost as much of a mess as James' always did, and opened his mouth to speak. He couldn't seem to decide what he wanted to say for a second, until two resolute words spilled out: "I left."

James raised his eyebrows and Sirius sighed, sitting up a little straighter. "They were going on about Andromeda again." His voice was low and weary, but each word had a hard edge to it. "My parents have these big family dinners every so often to keep ties with all their pureblood relatives. Bellatrix and Rodolphus were there, and Narcissa brought her new bastard of a husband."

He silenced himself, biting down hard on his lip, and James saw the worried glance he shot towards his parents. They just smiled at him reassuringly. "Go on," Mrs. Potter said kindly. "You can tell us."

"They were talking about Andromeda’s little girl as if she's a monster, as though being half-blood is the worst thing you could be. It's not like she's ever done anything to them – she's a seven year old! Just because Dromeda isn't going to spawn little pureblood maniacs like the rest of the family. I told them that I don't blame her, that I'd rather marry a muggle than stand another moment in that house." He paused, letting out a bitter laugh and looking up at James in utter disgust. "I think they were hoping I'd change my mind one day. They want me to follow Reg’s example – be a proper Black, whatever that means. But I said I’d rather be like Andromeda than become another stuck up pureblood extremist like the rest of them and, well, Bellatrix chucked her glass at me and my mum went absolutely mad, said I should just go, burnt me off the family tree and everything." He shrugged, balling his shaking hands into fists. "So that's that."

James could imagine it perfectly: the entire Black family turning on Sirius, their shouting filling the huge house as the dinner lay forgotten, Sirius storming upstairs and throwing everything within reach into his trunk before leaving, with his mother screaming at him to never come back. James unfolded his arms and went over to Sirius, putting his hand on his shoulder. They looked at each other for a long moment, before turning to James’ parents together.

"You know you're always welcome here, Sirius," James' dad said immediately. "You can stay here for as long as you need to."

"This house is your home as much as it is ours," his mum added, smiling.

James glanced down at Sirius and grinned at the relief in his expression. "You didn't really think we'd kick you out onto the street, did you?"

A smile tugging at the corner of his lips, Sirius shook his head. "Know you're always pining for me when I'm not here, anyway," he said quietly.

James' dad chuckled, patting Sirius' arm gently as he stood up and went back out into the hallway.

"You know Sirius," he called, "why don't I put your trunk in the spare room? It's no use you sleeping on James' camp bed if you're going to be here for the long haul."

"I think that's a great idea," his mum agreed, looking fondly at Sirius. "That room needs sprucing up anyway. Nothing like a teenage boy to bring a bit of life to the place."

Sirius nodded silently, unsure how to respond to the sudden kindness. He always forgot how much he enjoyed the company of James' family over the holidays, how they were the reverse of his own parents.

* * *

They headed upstairs a quarter of an hour later, after James' mum had taken away his dirty clothes and had offered him food and drink. He knew their house so well already – knew which part of the top step creaked horribly if he stepped on it, and how to slip through James' door without knocking himself on the cabinet that was always an inch or so out of place. In some ways he knew it better than he'd ever known his parents' house, with its dark corridors and endless rooms that Sirius still felt lost in sometimes.

James led Sirius into his new room and collapsed immediately onto the bed, pulling Sirius down with him.

"You looked like a right berk in that get up, by the way," he joked, elbowing Sirius in the side.

"Oh, cheers mate." James was obviously trying to be normal, and Sirius was grateful. "Sympathetic as always I see, no idea why Evans won't give you the time of day when you're just so charming."

"Don't remind me," James said, sighing dramatically with his hand thrown over his forehead. "She must be immune to my dazzling personality, otherwise she'd find me irresistible.

Sirius grinned. "Always a pleasure to listen to you moan, Prongs."

"Have to distract you from your tragic life somehow, don't I?" James replied, smirking.

"Keep telling yourself that," Sirius murmured, feeling the tiredness he had pushed back all night finally washing over him. But it was easy to give into his exhaustion here, in the warm room with its light wallpaper and the cosy blankets around him.

Lying on the bed next to his best friend, he smiled and let his eyes drift closed, realising that he felt more at home than he had all summer.


	2. Summer Nights

On a small, deserted playground on the outskirts of London, Lily Evans was doing her very best to avoid her family. As the evening stretched on, the light grew too dim for reading, leaving her to sit on one of the rusty old swings, rocking back and forth without much enthusiasm.

Ditching her copy of 'Confronting the Faceless' on the gravel underneath her feet and wishing she was allowed to cast a simple lumos spell without being expelled, she twisted the metal chains around each other carelessly, watching them clink together and fall back to their usual place. It was still warm enough for Lily to be comfortable in her white sundress and thin cardigan, but the idea of going back to the house and having to sit with the repulsive boy her sister had brought home was enough to send a chill through her. Really, he was the furthest thing from the rest of the family that Lily could imagine, and she was certain, despite not being close to her sister these days, that he was no good for Petunia. He was loud, brash and over confident about subjects he knew very little about. Lily didn't like the way he looked down his nose at her, as if he knew something she didn't: as if Petunia had told him everything.

At the sound of a metal gate squeaking open, she looked up hurriedly, ready to hide the magic book from any curious muggles, but her anxiety was needless; the boy shuffling towards her was definitely not a muggle, nor had he ever quite mastered the skill of dressing like one. Lily watched him approach, feeling the beginning of a headache already nagging at her temples. He sat down on the swing beside her, gazing at the floor and kicking up gravel.

"I went round to yours," Snape said, not looking at Lily. "That awful muggle was there again – he looks just like you said, like a bulldog snarling at you."

Lily turned to look at Snape – he seemed ghostly pale, even in the low light, as if he hadn't left the house all summer. Lily supposed he might not have, considering how little time the two of them had been spending together. Of all the witches and wizards she knew, he was the only one who looked so utterly out of place in the muggle world, like it made him ill.

"Severus…"

"I know you don't want to talk to me," he interrupted, finally dragging his eyes off the ground, "I just… I keep telling you, I didn't mean what I said."

Lily shook her head. "If you didn't mean it then why say it in the first place?"

"It was Potter! You saw what he did, and I panicked. I would never call you that."

"But you did!" Lily argued, anger flaring up. "I know you and your little friends call other muggleborns that, and worse. If them, why not me?"

"You're different," Snape said defiantly. He was staring at her fully now, eyes wide and pleading as he watched Lily shake her head.

"No." She stood up, backing away from him, "I grew up right here, Severus – in the muggle world. My family are muggles – I love muggles. I don't want your special treatment just because we used to be friends."

"Used to be?" Snape repeated flatly.

"Yes. You made your choice, Sev; I may be muggleborn but I still read the Daily Prophet, and you're the one who's going to be on the wrong side of all this."

"But Lily," he said, standing up and darting forward to grab her arm, his long oversized coat dragging across the ground, "I don't care about your blood status – I told you that the first time we met, it doesn't matter!"

Lily ripped her arm away from him. "Tell that to the Hufflepuff who was in the hospital wing for a week after your little gang hexed him."

"I had nothing to do with that."

"You were there. He was a second year and you don't even think they were wrong to do it, do you? Some friends you've got there."

"I-"

"James Potter may be an arrogant arse at times but he's nothing compared to what you've been like this past year. I can't ignore that anymore."

She turned around, striding towards the gate and forcing herself not to look back to see if her words had had any effect.

"He's a bully!" Snape shouted after her, "a childish bully - he's probably doing something stupid as we speak!"

"Unlike you?” Lily snapped, “chasing after someone who wants nothing to do with you?" She slammed the gate behind her, cutting off Snape's words with the sound of clanging metal.

* * *

James had got out of going to dinner with some overly-friendly relatives who would insist on telling him how much he'd grown since he'd seen them last summer (three inches, to be precise – he'd had a growth spurt) by saying how boring it would have been for Sirius. His mum had looked sceptical and suggested that being around more people might bring him out of the somewhat quiet, distant mood he'd been in since he'd arrived, but James had insisted that family gatherings were currently Sirius' least favourite thing and were to be avoided at all costs. And now, an hour after his parents had stepped into the green flames of the fireplace, they were celebrating an evening free from parental supervision by getting completely hammered.

They had gone out into the garden, since James was all too familiar with Sirius' tendency to break things when drunk, usually by curiously picking up something he liked the look of and then promptly forgetting it was in his hand and dropping it. When they had first sat down on the grass and cracked open their drinks, the sky had cast a warm, pinkish glow over them, but since then the sun had ducked beneath the horizon, leaving them in darkness.

One of the great things about James' house was that it was isolated enough for them to be able to do as they pleased without fear of annoying the neighbours, but not too desolate that they were miles away from the city. It was so unlike Grimmauld Place, where the towering houses and constantly smoking chimneys had only served to make Sirius feel more and more trapped.

"This was definitely one of your better ideas, Prongs," Sirius grinned from a low hung branch of the old oak by the flower garden. He generally didn't consider himself a country person, but by the time he'd had half a bottle of fire whiskey, he'd realised that tree climbing was his true calling in life and he would never again live in a place without trees. "Where'd you get the whiskey from, anyway?"

"Left over from last year," James replied from where he was lying on the grass, with one hand behind his head and the other still clutching the whiskey bottle. "Nicked them from that Ravenclaw who fell asleep in our dorm. And I'll have you know that all of my ideas are fantastic."

"Of course," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "I particularly liked the one that landed us all in detention for a week. Which one was that again?" He grabbed a fistful of leaves from the tree and flung them down in James' direction. "Oh wait, that's all of your ideas."

"Well yeah, all the best ideas involve bending a rule or two." James said, rolling to the side to avoid the worst of the leaves. He sat up and lifted his bottle as an example. "We wouldn't end up in detention if we didn't take credit for our genius, but where's the fun in that?"

"Probably in the not getting grilled by McGonagall," Sirius laughed.

He slid down from the branch and joined James on the floor, grabbing his own bottle of whiskey and holding it up in a mock salute before taking a swig.

"Merlin, Pads, you're standing in mum's flowers." James grabbed Sirius' trouser leg to drag him away from the flower garden. Grinning, he added, "If you trample her lilies you'll be kicked out of the house by morning."

"Oh, not the lilies!" Sirius replied in mock horror, flopping down onto the grass beside James. "Did you plant those yourself Jamesy? Do they remind you of your One True Love?" he threw one hand across his chest for effect, sloshing whiskey down his shirt with the sudden movement.

James elbowed him in the ribs. "I didn't make a flower shrine for her in my back garden, right, I'm not that much of a prick."

"Hmm," Sirius half agreed, shoving away James' arm. He'd never been particularly fond of lilies, they smelt like cat piss and made his nose tickle.

He pushed his hair back out of his eyes and stared up at the darkening sky. He could actually see the stars here, unlike in the smog of the city, where even when he managed to escape to the roof, the sky was more often than not shielded behind cloud, even in the summer.

When Sirius didn't say anything else, James turned his head towards him, but in the dark he couldn't see his expression. "Hey," he said, his voice low even though there was no one else there to hear them. "You've gone quiet. Either you're so drunk you think that stargazing is fun, or you're thinking about...you know, family stuff."

"Can't stargaze without thinking about my lot, can I?" Sirius said, turning his head towards James. He was smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm fine mate, really."

James chewed his lip, choosing his words carefully before he spoke. "It's good if you're fine, but...you don't have to be, you know? You can be upset or angry - or whatever. That's okay."

"I just wish things were different," Sirius said, glancing at James before taking a swig from his bottle. "Not just for me but for Reg and Andromeda, even my uncle Alphard. I’ve not seen him or Dromeda for years, all because of this stupid family. Not that I don't like it here," he added quickly, slapping James’ knee with a little more force than was necessary. "But you can be a bit of a pain, Prongs. Even if you do supply decent booze."

James smirked. "I always knew you were using me to get to my alcohol. But for real," he said, "things are different now. You – you got away. Regulus might too, one day, but that's up to him."

* * *

Lily was furious. Each footstep sounded like a drum beat in her head as she hurried towards home, hoping that Snape had sense enough not to follow her. The darkness had come on suddenly, and she felt out of place among the row of peaceful houses, with their safely drawn curtains and their perfectly cut shrubbery.

It was unfair, she thought bitterly, for Snape to act like the victim when he was clearly the one in the wrong. Lily disliked James Potter most of the time, but she knew his attacks on her former friend weren't completely random. Severus had always hated James and Sirius just as venomously as they had hated him, and he hadn't minded sending plenty of hexes their way to show it.

She made it to the corner of her street, pulling her cardigan tighter against the sudden chill in the air, when she heard Snape call out her name.

"Lily! Lily, wait," he gasped when he caught up with her, a hand on the stitch in his side as he walked quickly to keep up. "Look, I know you never liked the other Slytherins, but you were always friends with me regardless. I don't understand why that's changed."

Grateful to reach her front yard, Lily paused and turned around. Snape looked downright pathetic with his oversized muggle attire and mournful expression.

"If you can't even see the problem then it's not worth the effort to try and explain it to you," she said, anger abating into something quieter, something more like dread. "I don't want you coming here anymore."

"But we've been friends for five years," he said indignantly. In the darkening evening, his eyes looked blacker than ever, but below them his mouth was pinched together, like he was trying to hide his emotions. "You can't just end it all of a sudden."

Lily shook her head, struggling to hold back a laugh at how ridiculous she felt having to justify herself. Behind her she could hear muffled speech through the front door – probably Petunia saying goodbye to Vernon. His car was still in the drive, right beside where Snape was standing. She briefly wondered how long it would take the two of them to murder each other if she were to leave them alone for any period of time. Her sister's boyfriend was everything Snape hated about muggles, and although Petunia was forbidden from telling anyone about her magic, Lily got the distinct impression that Vernon would be less than approving.

"We've both changed since we were eleven," she said finally. The shadow of her words, unspoken but still heard, were that _he_ had changed – and not for the better. "If you change your mind about the kind of people you want to spend your time with, then maybe we can talk."

She turned to head inside, not wanting to give Snape a chance to respond, just as Vernon Dursley opened the front door, almost colliding with her.

Lily slid around him into the house, stopping only to look at her sister, whose face was scrunched up into a most unflattering expression, as if the very sight of Snape left an unpleasant taste in her mouth.

"What's he doing here?" she asked loudly, probably wanting to make it clear to Vernon that she disapproved of someone as poorly-dressed as Snape. "He hangs around too often."

"For once," Lily sighed, "I have to agree with you."

She didn't wait to see if Snape left. The sound of Petunia's gushed goodbyes to Vernon followed her up the stairs to her bedroom, where she promptly collapsed onto the bed.

The front door eventually closed and Lily listened to her sister's footsteps on the stairs, then the landing, stopping momentarily outside her bedroom door as if she were about to knock. Lily stared at the door, not sure whether she wanted to talk or not, especially when things between her and Petunia had been so strained. Then the footsteps moved away, and her sister's bedroom door clicked shut, leaving Lily alone.

* * *

James held the empty fire whiskey bottle up in front of his face and stared at it. It looked a little blurry, so he reached a hand up to touch the bridge of his nose; his glasses were definitely still there. "We're out of alcohol," he declared loudly.

Sirius looked up from where he was lying on his stomach, plucking bits of grass from the lawn and twirling them between his fingers. He wasn't sure what time it had gotten to, just that the glow of streetlights was now visible between the branches of the trees, and the moon was high in the sky above them. It was still fairly warm, whether from the lingering sunshine or the buzz of alcohol, he wasn't sure.

With sudden inspiration, he jumped to his feet, declared that he had an idea, and staggered towards the house.

"Pads?" James called after him as Sirius disappeared through the back door, where light still flickered from inside, a rectangle of brightness against the dark. He considered following him, but the grass he was sitting on was very comfortable and he didn't really feel like getting up. Luckily, he was saved the effort of moving by Sirius' reappearance in the doorway a minute later. In his arms was something about the size of a shoebox, with a thin metal stick pointing out of the top, and as Sirius got closer James noticed that it was covered in buttons and dials.

Sirius set it down in front of him, grinning, as James raised his eyebrows. "I'm probably going to regret asking," he said, his voice a little slurred, "But what exactly is this?"

"It's brilliant," was Sirius' reply.

He tumbled to the ground beside James, crossing his legs and leaning forward just enough so as to not over-balance while he fiddled with the contraption.

"It's a radio, but different to Wizarding ones – got it off a muggle in London last summer, didn't I? It runs off these things called batteries – I think we did about them in muggle studies but I don't remember exactly how they works."

He pulled the stick on the top of the box, making it longer and longer, much to James' amusement.

At first, all the boys could hear was a buzzing, static sound, but as Sirius moved the dials around, words and melodies started to come through, filling the night with the music of muggle artists.

"I listened to it every day before I came here, used to piss my mum right off."

After deeming the radio signal adequate, Sirius sat back on the grass, looking regretfully at his empty bottle of whiskey. He felt James shift beside him, obviously curious of the radio as the song started up. It was a bit fuzzy to start with, but once the chorus started, they could make out most of the lyrics. From what James could gather, the song was about someone shaking their 'booty'.

"Wooow," he said to Sirius, drawing the word out elaborately. "This is the kind of music muggles listen to?"

He looked away from the radio and the corners of his lips twitched as he noticed that Sirius, though still sitting down, was shaking his hips from side to side and murmuring the lyrics to himself. "Sirius Black," James said, grinning, "Do you actually like this song?"

"No!" Sirius replied defensively, though he didn't stop nodding his head in time to the beat of the music. "It's just, this bit is really catchy, listen." He sang along under his breath for a moment, before he grabbed a surprised James by his forearms and dragged him to his feet.

"Told you, it's fun!" he beamed, not giving James a chance to respond before he started to bop from side to side in front of his friend, encouraging James to do the same.

James reluctantly started dancing, laughing as Sirius spun around and nearly fell over. "We look like idiots!"

"We always do!" Sirius agreed jovially. He swept past James with a rather ungraceful leap and bent down to turn the radio up, music pouring out across the garden.


	3. Diagon Alley

Diagon Alley was always busy towards the end of the summer holidays, bustling with Hogwarts students and their families as they stocked up with books and robes and potion ingredients. Remus had wanted to do his shopping earlier in the summer when it was quieter, but he knew from experience that, given enough time with their shiny new supplies over summer, Sirius would have tried feeding his sopophorous beans to his owl, James would have spilt ink all over his textbooks, and Peter would have lost all his new quills – so he'd had to settle for doing their shopping in the last week of summer.

It was a sunny day, so he was glad they'd chosen to meet outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, where he could sit at one of the little round tables in the shade of the building, eating double chocolate ice cream and watching through the window of Ollivanders on the opposite side of the street. A first year girl had gone in there with her parents five minutes earlier and there were lots of bangs and flashes as Mr Ollivander pulled boxes down from the wall and handed her different wands.

Remus checked his watch. The others were over twenty minutes late – not that this was surprising; despite Mrs Potter's best efforts, James and Sirius were just incapable of being punctual. Peter was usually a little better at time keeping, but rather less good with memory, so Remus suspected he was wandering around nearby trying to remember where they had agreed to meet.

Just as the young girl came out of Ollivanders clutching her brand new wand, Remus heard someone yell "MOONY" and turned his head towards the voice. James, Sirius and Peter were heading down the street towards him, and Remus felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips. It was barely a month since he'd last seen them, but that seemed like a long time when they spent the rest of the year in each other's near-constant company.

Abandoning what little was left of his ice cream, he stood up as Sirius bounded over and engulfed him in a hug that nearly made them both fall over. "Nice to see you too," Remus said, a little breathless from having the wind knocked out of him.

"Moony," James said cheerfully when Sirius had let go of Remus and was perching precariously on the edge of the table, looking artfully ruffled. Remus himself felt a bit more dishevelled, though he tried to at least straighten his shirt. "Figured you'd actually be where we planned to meet. Wormtail was off skulking around outside Gringotts."

"I wasn't skulking," Peter said indignantly. "Mum took me to get some money and then I was waiting for you all."

"You have excellent taste in ice cream, Moony," Sirius said, ignoring Peter's complaints and swirling his finger around the bowl, managing to splodge the brownish goop onto his jeans before eating it. He licked his finger clean and then pointed it at James accusingly. "I suggest you drag this one off to all your sensible shops first," he said to Remus. "He's after kitting me out in Quidditch gear, can you imagine? Though the robes are rather fetching I suppose."

"Shouldn't you wait until after tryouts to buy Quidditch gear?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows and turning to James. He knew James would be an extremely competent Captain, but not everyone would see it that way if all his friends suddenly made the team. "McGonagall won't be happy if she knows you're appointing people without seeing them in tryouts."

"I've seen Sirius play enough times to know he's good enough to be a Gryffindor beater." James shrugged, though his tone was a little indignant. "Kingsley's been beater for years and he may be bigger, but Pads is faster. I reckon they'll work well together."

"Flattery will do wonders for you, Prongs," Sirius grinned, hopping down from the table and winking at James as the four of them started down the street.

He felt a bounce in his step as they walked, invigorated by the company of his friends and bustle of the streets. Everywhere he looked, families were rushing to and fro with their children, all looking duly stressed under the midday sun. Elsewhere were groups of older students similar to themselves, laughing together after a summer of isolation. Sirius spotted a couple of soon-to-be-seventh-year Ravenclaws that he knew by sight, if not name, already done with their shopping if the army of bags in their hands was anything to go by.

Remus had taken a list out of his pocket and was scanning it intently, subtly guiding them all towards Slug and Jiggers Apothecary. Sirius suspected that because potions was not Remus' strongest subject, he was anxious to stock up so he'd be more prepared for it. He should really do the same, since he was also taking Advanced Potions, and no longer had access to his parents' large stocks of ingredients.

Looking up from his list, Remus said, "Sirius and I need to go to the Apothecary for potions, then Flourish and Blotts is just across the street so we may as well all get this year's books, and after that -"

"Quidditch supplies," James interjected.

"After that we'll let you and Sirius run rampant in the Quidditch shop," Remus agreed, smiling as they stepped inside the Apothecary.

It was a brightly lit shop, with every inch of its walls covered in shelves that held neatly hand-labelled jars. James wrinkled his nose as he peered at a jar full of what appeared to be small eyeballs. "This shop always gives me the creeps."

"We spend a night in the forbidden forest every month," Peter pointed out. "How come you're scared of some eyeballs?"

Before James could make a rude gesture at him, a shop assistant emerged through a door behind the desk. "Can I help you?" he asked, smiling.

Remus looked pointedly at Sirius, so he reluctantly put down a jar of some small, shiny insects – some of which still seemed to be moving – and followed him to the desk.

"We need all of these," Sirius said bluntly, grabbing the list out of Remus' hands and handing it to the shop assistant.

"Just starting NEWTs?" he inquired pleasantly, reaching beneath the desk and pulling out two pre-packed cases of potions ingredients. "I've started requesting the syllabus from Dumbledore so I can get things ready. You wouldn't believe the fuss otherwise, especially with the younger ones."

"When I was 12, I knocked over a huge jar of some sort of brains," Sirius agreed gravely, looking at the front compartments of the potions kit: wormwood, asphodel, and some bark that was floating in a greenish liquid.

The man eyeballed him suspiciously, as if he remembered the incident well and was strongly hoping against a repeat performance.

"Two galleons is it?" Sirius asked, pulling out his wallet in an attempt to distract the man from James and Peter, who had started to shake a container of something purple and glowing.

"Three. More complex ingredients this year I'm afraid."

Sirius heard Remus make an annoyed sort of huff from beside him as he reached into his pocket, before they both handed over the requested money.

They headed out of the shop and across the road to Flourish and Blotts, where Remus felt far more comfortable – partially because he was surrounded by books but mostly due to there being far less potential damage for his friends to do than in a shop full of rare and interesting magical substances in delicate jars.

'A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration' was on display on a round table in the middle of the shop, and all of them except Peter picked up a copy.

"We do human transfiguration this year," James said with a grin as he flipped open the book. "Guess we'll pass that with flying colours, right?"

"Three years of studying it should definitely give us a head start," Remus said. "Though McGonagall might be a bit suspicious when you're able to turn yourself into a stag on the first try but can't turn into anything else."

"Nah, she'll be so impressed we won't have to do any work for the rest of the year," Sirius argued, flipping absently through the book. It had bright pictures and detailed instructions on the complex spells they would be learning over the next year. Sirius didn't mind these kinds of books, the ones that actually taught you how to do a spell step-by-step, unlike the rather more suspicious looking book that Peter had found and handed to James. Judging by the complex labelled diagrams and chapters of long-winded text that he could see over his friend's shoulder, Sirius was very glad that he was not taking Herbology.

"Charms doesn't look too bad," James said, piling another three copies into his arms and passing them out amongst his friends.

"I think I'm charming enough, really," Sirius replied, taking the book reluctantly. His stack was getting ridiculously heavy, despite only needing texts for the five subjects he would be studying for his sixth and seventh years. He didn't see why they all had to be so thick.

"I'm done," Peter said, struggling under the weight of his own books. "See you at the till?"

Sirius nodded, before noticing that Remus appeared to have slipped away from them. Rather predictably, he was to be found hanging around the fiction section instead of going over to pay. "We're ready to go," Sirius said, apparently making Remus jump as he stuffed a book hastily back onto the shelf. "What's that?"

"Hmm?" Remus replied, picking up the books he'd neatly stacked on the floor and turning towards the desk where James and Peter were gathered. "Oh, nothing. Just something I was looking at, but with spending so much at the apothecary I’ve not got anything to spare. Come on then, we’d better pay."

Before following him, Sirius stopped briefly to pull out the book that his friend had been so interested in. Upon further inspection, he recognised the title as one that Remus had mentioned in his letters over summer – a new release from one of the few wizard authors that Remus liked as much as the muggle books he'd grown up with.

Discreetly, Sirius slipped the book onto his own pile.

They each relieved their aching arms by dumping their piles of books onto the counter, where a cheerful witch added up the prices and wrapped up the books into four large parcels. She called all of them "dear" and "honey" as she took their money and gave them their change, and she even remembered that Remus had come shopping there the previous winter for Christmas presents.

Once they were outside again, James and Sirius started prodding Remus in the arm and chanting "Quidditch!" enthusiastically. Remus rolled his eyes, feeling like a parent trying to control his children. "Alright, but afterwards we need to get some parchment and quills, maybe some new robes too."

"Alright, Professor Lupin," Sirius teased. He reached into the magically lightened stack of books beside him and pulled out the thin paperback he'd bought for Remus, "got you this," he said brightly, tossing the book into Remus' arms.

Not expecting anything to be thrown at him, Remus reached out a little too late to catch the book, almost dropping it before he managed to rebalance his other purchases and make a grab for it.

"Did you buy this?" he asked, surprised.

"Nah, nicked it didn't I," Sirius replied, looking at him completely seriously while James chuckled quietly. "Course I bloody well bought it, don't rush to thank me will you?"

"You didn't have to -"

"Remus."

"Okay, okay," Remus smiled, slipping the book into his bag. "Thank you."

"You're most welcome, Moony. Now let's get moving before James explodes. He can only cope without seeing a broom for so long before he gets cravings."

"That's true," Peter put in, already a few steps ahead of them as they walked along. "Remember that time McGonagall confiscated his broom and he cried?"

“I was eleven!”

They arrived at Quality Quidditch Supplies quickly, hurried along by the crowds, and pushed through the usual excited groups of children congregating outside the shop. Inside though, there were rather less people than Sirius had expected. He supposed that really the only people who needed to come in here were the Quidditch teams – first years and their younger siblings were relegated to staring longingly at the products through the window.

James immediately headed for the display of the Cleansweep Sixes – the newest model on the market.

"Padfoot," he said seriously, "with one of these, you can't fail to get on the team."

Sirius glanced curiously at the price tag, which would put him out of pocket a little more than he'd have liked, but with the return to school fast approaching it wasn't as if he'd need much money in the coming months. He ran his hand along the smooth frame as James practically bounced beside him.

"You have to get it! And get a jersey! The Gryffindor ones are over here -"

James darted off to the other side of the store while Sirius gestured for the shopkeeper to wrap him up one of the Cleansweeps. He seemed shocked that someone was actually purchasing one, probably given their rather hefty price tag.

"Here!" James said the moment Sirius stepped up to him. He held a jumper against Sirius' chest, examining it carefully. "It's the same size as mine and that fits you, so you should be fine. Oh and you should look at these bats, the school ones are a bit -" James turned around when Sirius didn't immediately follow him, momentarily confused to see his three friends standing stock still, staring towards the doorway.

Sirius couldn't remember how to move. He'd glanced over at the door as he heard it open and been completely horrified by the familiar figure he saw walking in beside another boy, heads bent low and deep in conversation.

James came up behind him, craning his neck around Sirius' shoulder to see what he was looking at. The murmured "oh, shit" in his ear was enough to bring Sirius jolting back to reality.

Regulus had only just spotted him, standing a few feet away with an equally troubled expression on his face as he stared at his brother.

"Thought you'd be too busy tugging on mother's apron strings to shop by yourself," Sirius spat.

"That's funny," Regulus said, a dark look in his black eyes, "I was hoping the weight of your own ego would have crushed you by now. Obviously not."

"Sirius..." James said gently, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, "maybe we should -"

"I used to wonder how you could stand it," Sirius said, ignoring James. His words were tumbling over each other, his cheeks glowing feverishly. "Then I realised. You're just like them. You'll be up to your eyes in dark magic before you're seventeen."

"And you, abandoning your family for the sake of blood traitors and mudbloods? No wonder you're such a disappointment."

"You’re going to regret it all one day," Sirius said, more of a hope than an actual belief. He was suddenly so worked up that he felt trapped. Ripping himself away from the grip James had on him, he pushed past his friends towards the exit, shoving his brother hard in the shoulder as he went.

"The only thing I regret is ever thinking of you as a brother," Regulus shouted at his back, the words tainting the air like poison. "You’re dead to us."

The door swung shut behind Sirius, leaving the shop in momentary silence.

"Shit." James repeated. "Here," he said, tossing his wallet to Remus. "Pay for this stuff, I'll go after him."

With James gone, Remus hesitantly went over to pay for the Quidditch jumper and broomstick, Peter trailing behind him. Even the shop assistant had gone quiet, glancing worriedly between the two pairs of boys, probably hoping they weren't about to start another argument.

While the Gryffindor jumper was being wrapped up, Remus watched Regulus and the other fourth year boy, whom he recognised as Evan Rosier, as they surveyed the Slytherin selection of Quidditch gear. Regulus was paler than usual and his hands seemed to be shaking slightly, though when he glanced up and noticed Remus looking, he clenched them tightly into fists.

Remus pursed his lips, wondering whether he should say anything, but he decided it wasn't fair to interfere in Sirius' relationship with his brother. He merely handed over the money from James' wallet and thanked the shop assistant, then gave Peter a tense smile and started to leave.

Regulus and Evan Rosier were having a whispered conversation when Remus passed them, but despite their lowered voices he heard Rosier say, "He's a blood traitor, Reg. Your family are better than that."

"So I should be happy that he left?" Regulus said sharply. "I don't want to hear it."

Remus kept walking past them and didn't hear the rest of the conversation, but he felt a twinge of sympathy for Regulus; between his Slytherin friends and his pureblood parents, he was undoubtedly facing a lot of pressure to be, well, the exact opposite of his older brother.

Peter was the one who eventually spotted Sirius and James, the latter leaning against the wall behind Eeylops, while Sirius paced in front of him, hands constantly moving between wild gestures and raking through his hair.

Remus and Peter saw him shrug off the hand on his shoulder, and as they approached they heard him snap, "I don’t need more pity.”

“Then what do you need?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius said restlessly. “Can we just pretend none of this happened? At least until we get home. There's still shops to go to and -"

"And you owe Prongs a load of money," Remus put in, sensing Sirius would appreciate the distraction. He handed the broom and packaged jersey to Sirius, and threw the wallet back to James.

Sirius smiled briefly, looking at Remus with eyes that were wide and slightly glossy. "Cheers, Moony."

James slid his wallet back into his pocket and knocked shoulders with Sirius. "C'mon, let's go to the sweet shop."

Shaking his head, Sirius said, "We should get the stuff left on Moony's list. Quills and whatever."

Remus smiled. "We can get it later," he assured him.

Sirius hesitated, rocking back on his heels, and James guessed that he wanted to get their shopping trip over with as soon as possible – but he knew Sirius would be even worse once he was back at James' house, shutting himself alone in his room and having to pretend he was okay to James' parents. The best chance of cheering Sirius up even a little bit was while they were all together, so James was going to prolong their time in Diagon Alley for as long as he could.

"Mum wants me to get her some toffee," James added, which wasn't entirely untrue; she hadn't asked him to buy any, admittedly, but she was always talking about how good the toffee in Sugarplum's Sweets Shop was. "She says it's even better than the stuff from Honeydukes."

Shrugging, Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking towards Sugarplum's. James fell into step next to him, with the others following behind, and started talking about Quidditch, not pausing between his musings – about who the new Hufflepuff captain would be and whether he could convince McGonagall to put all the Slytherin players in detention every time they scheduled a practice session – so that Sirius didn't have to add anything to the conversation.

Inside the sweet shop, Peter immediately went over to the Every Flavour Beans, which he had a strange partiality for despite James being able to list at least six times when they'd made him throw up. James spotted the shelf of toffee and turned to Sirius to get him to help choose what to buy, but he and Remus were already wandering in the opposite direction, towards the chocolate frogs. Noticing that he looked a little less tense now, James smiled and went to pick the toffee himself.


	4. Lessons and Liquid Luck

On the 2nd September, the day after the marauders had boarded the Hogwarts Express, enjoyed the feast in the Great Hall, and sat through the Sorting Hat's unusually serious song, James rose groggily but cheerfully from his four-poster bed. Sirius had been the first one to wake up, as usual, and had managed to wait for an impressive ten minutes before he started pulling back the curtains and jumping on everyone's beds.

"You're like a kid on Christmas morning," Remus commented dryly, stifling a yawn. "You do realise we have lessons to go to, right?"

Sirius shrugged. "It's not like we ever get given hard work in the first couple of days."

They left Peter to enjoy his first free period in bed and went down to breakfast. An hour later they were shuffling into the Transfiguration classroom, Remus still yawning and James brushing toast crumbs off his robes. Professor McGonagall stood at the front of the class, her dark hair tied back in a tight bun and her eyes severe behind her glasses. James winked at her as he strolled into the classroom, pointing at the badge on his chest that proclaimed him to be Quidditch Captain. "Nice choice, Professor," he said, grinning.

"Don't make me regret it, Potter," she warned, though she smiled faintly at him before telling everyone to take their seats.

James flopped into a chair and Sirius sat down next to him, though not before pulling another desk closer for Remus. McGonagall pressed her lips together as she looked in their direction, but she had long thought – not entirely correctly – that Remus was a good influence, so she allowed them to sit together.

When the class had just about settled down, Lily slipped into the classroom. McGonagall eyed her sternly but gestured for her to take a seat.

"McGonagall would have eaten us alive if we'd been late on the first day," Sirius muttered, but James was too busy watching Lily to pay him any attention. She glanced at Snape, who had obviously saved her a seat and was staring expectantly. Lily turned her back on him and sat down next to Mary Macdonald, a fellow Gryffindor and friend who she shared a dorm with. The class had automatically divided itself according to house, so this put Lily directly in front of James.

He leant closer to Sirius. "She's not sitting with Snivellus," he hissed, raising his eyebrows significantly.

"I do have eyes, Prongs," Sirius muttered back, shooting James an amused look. "Though I know you enjoy giving a running commentary on everything Evans does."

James decided to ignore this remark. "Hey, Evans," he whispered. When she didn't respond, he scrunched up a bit of parchment and threw it at the back of her head.

She brushed it out of her hair and shot him an irritated look. "What do you want, Potter?"

"Guess who the new Gryffindor Quidditch Captain is."

Lily's eyes flickered to the badge he was wearing and back up to his face. "Kingsley Shacklebolt?" she suggested innocently.

James frowned. "No-"

"Frank Longbottom? Hm, no, he doesn't play Quidditch. Marlene McKinnon?"

"It's _me_ ," James said in exasperation.

"Really?" Lily said with a smirk. "Never would have guessed." She turned back around just as McGonagall cleared her throat and began the lesson.

"As you undoubtedly know, you are now beginning your two years of NEWTs," McGonagall began. "You will not have any examinations this year, instead sitting all of your exams at the end of your seventh and final year. In transfiguration, as with most subjects, you will have one untimed practical exam and one three-hour written exam on the magical theory."

There was a collective groan and McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "You may view these exams as a bore and a waste of time that could otherwise be spent socialising or leaving dungbombs in inappropriate places" – she glanced at James, Sirius and Remus, who did their best to look innocent – "but your NEWT grades will determine the career you can enter into after you complete your education."

While James and Sirius started scribbling notes to each other, Remus chewed his lip, listening carefully and trying to mentally calculate how many hours of studying he would realistically be able to achieve each week before he got roped into raiding the kitchens or, indeed, setting off dungbombs. James and Sirius had the frustrating ability to do next to no studying and still be among the best students in their year and, while Peter certainly tried to do well, he was even worse than Remus at saying no to joining in with James and Sirius' "brilliant plans". He wondered whether he could convince another student to study with him, but quickly dismissed the idea. Not that it would make a great deal of difference, anyway – he already had much more limited career choices than anyone else in the room.

"These exams are not to be taken lightly," McGonagall continued, "And they are of such great importance that you should be studying hard all throughout the next two years. Every one of you achieved at least Exceeds Expectations in your transfiguration OWL, so if you put your best effort into your lessons and your homework you can all achieve good grades. Hard work will get you a long way."

Remus frowned and stared down at his hands, his unmoving quill clasped between scarred fingers. He wondered exactly how far hard work could get him.

* * *

Transfiguration passed far too slowly, with the class only half listening to McGonagall explain the course structure and the spells they would be perfecting over the coming months. Although the lesson itself didn't require much thinking, Sirius was certainly wrong about not having to do any hard work.

"Four chapters by Monday AND she's going to test us on 'past material?'" he repeated to Remus on their way to potions, having just said goodbye to James at the grand staircase as he headed off for his free period. "Is she out of her mind? It's the first day back for Merlin's sake!"

"These are NEWTs," Remus reminded him, in almost an exact imitation of their professor's stern voice, "you know it's going to be a lot of work."

Sirius sighed loudly, shouldering past a group of third years who were busy inspecting their new timetables. "I hope Slughorn goes easy on us then. I don't know if I can stand this 'importance of exams' lecture in every bloody class."

He paused and turned around when he noticed that Remus was no longer right behind him, then spotted him a few feet away, glancing over a piece of parchment that a small Ravenclaw girl was holding out to him hopefully.

"It's right up this corridor, all the way past the courtyard, then the second door on your right," he explained to the girl, who looked more than a little nervous as Sirius approached. "Thank you," she squeaked at Remus before taking her lesson plan and scurrying up the corridor.

"Who's a helpful little prefect then?" Sirius teased, as Remus stood up again.

"They never remember anything from the tours we give them," he replied. "And don't pretend you never got lost in your first week. I distinctly remember you standing by that portrait of Giffard Abbott on the first floor for a good half hour before James found you."

"Just searching for passages, Moony," Sirius reprimanded as they finally reached the staircase leading down to the dungeons. "You know I like to keep on top of these things."

Slughorn was waiting for them when they arrived, a smile plastered on his face and his hands cupped over his green robes and large stomach. Sirius and Remus headed towards one of the only remaining tables, next to Lily and her friend Mary and in front of Snape and another Slytherin boy.

"I don't like this." Sirius whispered to Remus immediately. "Snivelly is right behind us. He could chuck potions at us or jinx us and we'd never even see it coming."

"I doubt he's going to curse you in the middle of class," Remus pointed out, just as Slughorn raised his hands to call for silence.

"As I'm sure you've all realised by now, your NEWT level classes have begun! Exciting, I know," he said, chuckling to himself at the sceptical expressions on their faces. "So in order to prepare you for some of the challenges you'll be facing over the next two years, I thought we'd begin with a practical. No need to take out your ingredients," he added quickly as the rustle of students reaching for their bags filled the room, "I've supplied everything you need!"

He waved his wand and a list of potion ingredients appeared on the board behind him. "Let's see how prepared for this year you are, shall we? Whoever makes the Draught of Living Death well enough for it to be usable will win this bottle of Felix Felicis, otherwise known as – who can tell me?"

"Liquid luck," Snape said, and Slughorn beamed.

"Yes, exactly!" He slipped the little bottle of golden liquid back into his pocket. "It's an unusual little potion and one that I'm sure any of you could find a use for. Though I will forewarn you that no student of mine has ever prepared this draught to my satisfaction, so this prize has never been claimed. Perhaps one of you will be the first to win it!" He rubbed his hands together in anticipation and gestured towards the board. "Now it's time to get started, so good luck!"

"The Draught of Living Death is meant to be really difficult to make," Remus said, frowning as he followed Sirius to the store cupboard. "Look how precise the instructions are!"

"Don't worry," Sirius replied lazily as he passed back the ingredients to Remus. "He expects us to do badly so there's nothing to lose."

Sirius set up their cauldrons as Remus flicked through his book to try and find any additional information that might help them. Standing with his back to Slughorn so as to keep an eye on Snape, Sirius grabbed both his and Remus' Sopophorous beans and attempted to cut them. Irritatingly, Snape seemed to be doodling in his textbook, looking completely unconcerned about the complexity of the task. Finally, Sirius' knife chopped through the beans, sending the two sides catapulting to opposite sides of the table.

Remus glanced over his shoulder to see Snape smirking at them over his cauldron, which was giving off blue steam.

"Ignore him, Sirius," Remus said mildly, carefully measuring out the powdered root of asphodel and adding it to the cauldron. He stirred twice clockwise as the textbook instructed, then peered anxiously at the potion as it began to bubble. He was relieved when the steam coming from his potion turned blue.

When he looked up, Sirius was flicking the Sopophorous beans at Snape, a look of concentration on his face.

"Sirius!" Remus snapped, grabbing a handful of the beans for his own potion before they were all wasted. "Look, stir it before you end up melting the bottom of your cauldron." He handed his long-handled spoon to Sirius, glancing anxiously at Snape, who had thankfully been too engrossed in measuring his own ingredients to notice what Sirius had been doing.

Sirius huffed but stirred his potion as instructed, leaving it to simmer.

"This is the only class we have together you know," he said, leaning carelessly against the table. "Just the two of us I mean."

Remus was staring at his watch, trying to time how long they should leave the potions, but he looked up when Sirius spoke. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"Plus we can actually be in the same room as Evans without James spouting poetry every two seconds."

"That does make a nice change," Remus agreed, glancing across at Lily, who was peering into her cauldron, red hair falling over her face.

"I think we need to add the bean juice," Sirius said in some distress as Remus turned back around; the blue steam from their cauldrons had turned an alarming shade of green. Picking up the few remaining beans left on the desk, he attempted to squeeze them into both cauldrons, but they may as well have been rocks, and refused to produce anything but the tiniest amount of liquid.

"Oh god," Remus groaned, "this cannot happen, Sirius. I am not blowing up a cauldron on the first day back."

"Ah," Sirius said helplessly, attempting to retrieve another few beans from the floor as the smoke rising over Remus' cauldron began to turn black. At least the liquid inside still seemed to be the purplish colour described in the book.

"Oh for goodness sake!"

Sirius attempted to stand up too quickly, smacking his head on the edge of the table. He managed to drop the recovered beans back onto the floor.

"Ow," he moaned, putting a hand to his sore head as Lily and Remus stared at him. She had something in her hand and was squeezing juice into both his and Remus' cauldrons.

"When it turns lilac," she said slowly, as if talking to two first years, "stir it, and wait until it turns pink."

"Thank you so much," Remus said earnestly, as Sirius slid back into his seat, resting his head against the desk.

"Cheers Evans," he said reluctantly. "Even if I did nearly crack my skull."

Lily rolled her eyes at him. Her gaze briefly flickered to Snape before she returned to her own table.

"Time's up!" Slughorn called a few minutes later, clapping his hands together. "Take your cauldrons off the flames and I'll come round to inspect them."

The classroom was filled with the clunks and clatters of people moving their cauldrons. Remus was pleased that his had turned lilac, so even though he hadn't finished, at least nothing had gone wrong. Sirius, however, was still stirring his potion, apparently ignoring the instruction in the textbook to only stir it seven times.

"Not bad," Slughorn said as he looked into a Ravenclaw's cauldron. He nodded approvingly at Remus' potion, then raised his eyebrows at Sirius', which had somehow turned deep red and lumpy. He made a few corrective comments to various students, but the two cauldrons he stood by the longest were – predictably – Lily's and Snape's.

Finally, he said, "While Miss Evans' potion is certainly very advanced, Mr Snape has achieved the palest shade of pink that marks the final stage of the potion. I must say I'm not surprised that you are the first person to deserve the prize of the Felix Felicis, Mr Snape!"

"Thank you, sir," Snape said proudly, taking the bottle filled with golden potion.

Sirius scowled and muttered something about Slytherin favouritism. Remus was surprised to note that Lily also looked annoyed to have been beaten, though she had never seemed to mind before now that Snape usually did slightly better than her in potions.

"Clear your cauldrons before you leave," Slughorn said. "And could Mr Snape, Miss Evans and Mr Black please stay for a moment after class.

Remus raised his eyebrows as he vanished his potion and started picking up all the beans Sirius had scattered on the floor. "Slug Club?"

"Oh joy," Sirius replied sarcastically as he did his best to empty his cauldron of its sticky contents. "See you at lunch then?"

Remus nodded and hurried out of the door, keen to get to his ancient runes class on the other side of the castle.

"Now then!" Slughorn beamed at Sirius, Lily and Snape as they gathered around his desk. "Well done again Severus, Lily, on your fantastic potions! I'm sure yours would have been just as good Mr. Black, if you'd paid a little more attention."

Snape sneered at Sirius; he'd obviously seen Lily save his and Remus' potions from complete disaster. Before Sirius could respond though, he felt a bump to his arm as Lily stepped slightly closer towards him, and away from Snape.

Slughorn carried on obliviously. "As you might have guessed, I'm starting up our little Slug Club meetings again this term! I'll be sending the first invitation out soon so I hope you can all find time to come!" He looked purposefully at Sirius, who was busy fiddling with the straps on his bag, trying not to make eye contact.

"Sirius," Slughorn encouraged, forcing Sirius to acknowledge him. "It would be nice to see you there this year. I ran into your cousin Narcissa and her husband just a few weeks ago – lovely couple. Both favourite students of mine, of course."

Sirius smiled at the professor despite the tight knot in his stomach. "I suppose I could come."

"Excellent!" Slughorn said, the answer, however reluctant, clearly surprising him. "Run along then, I don't want you to be too late to your next lessons. Of course, just blame me if you are!"

The three of them turned to leave, Snape sweeping out of the classroom ahead of Sirius and Lily.

"I don't know why he wants you there, Black," he snapped once they were out of Slughorn's earshot. "Everyone knows your precious family wants nothing to do with you."

"Severus!" Lily gasped, but Snape had already stalked off down the corridor. She turned to Sirius, who looked a little shell shocked at not even getting out a retort. "He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Whatever," Sirius said, watching Snape disappear around the corner. "I have to get to class."

"Didn't think you'd be too concerned," Lily said, not unkindly.

"Yeah, well," he shrugged, "Moony said we have to work hard or we're going to end up selling dungbombs in Diagon Alley. That would just be a waste of my good looks and charm."

"Of course it would."

There was a brief silence before Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and started stomping up the stairs, but just as he reached the top he heard Lily's light footsteps behind him. "Listen, don't let him get to you," she said, and for a moment it seemed as though she was going to say more.

He gave her a curious look, but she simply smiled weakly and hurried off. Sirius watched her go, feeling much more agitated than he’d have liked on the first day of school. With work already piling up and Slughorn pestering him to go to a gathering undoubtedly filled with sneering Slytherins, this was far from what he'd expected of his first full day back at Hogwarts. As Lily stopped at the end of the corridor to help a first year Slytherin, Sirius slowly started making his way to muggle studies, hoping the lesson would pass quickly and looking forward to spending his free afternoon in the common room with his friends.


	5. Try-Outs

"How can you _lose_ a broom?" James demanded, as Sirius disappeared under his bed, arms stretching as far as he could reach. Really, the space under the bed wasn't a particularly large one, but Sirius could have sworn that was where he'd stowed the new broom once they'd returned to school.

He was only half dressed and had been busy getting ready for Quidditch try-outs when James had burst into the dorm, already in his full kit, claiming that they needed to get there early because "I'm the Captain now, I can't just show up whenever I feel like it!"

The carpet scratched Sirius' arms as he hauled himself back up, still empty handed.

He looked around the room helplessly, quickly pulling his new Gryffindor jumper over his head to somewhat appease James. Peter was still down in the common room, completely engrossed in a game of exploding snap, while Remus had been sitting on his bed with his legs crossed for the past hour or so, glaring at the essay he was writing.

"Moony," he asked, taking a step towards him while James glanced at his watch. "Have you seen my broom?"

Remus looked up from his parchment, happy for an excuse to put down his quill. "You used it the other day to kill a spider on Peter's wardrobe," he said. "It's probably still around there somewhere."

Ignoring James' dismayed complaints that a Cleansweep Six should not be used as a bug swatter, Remus reluctantly turned back to his work. The problem was that, only two weeks into their sixth year, he was beginning to realise that NEWTs were a lot harder that OWLs had been. All their teachers had started setting record levels of homework, and it was difficult to keep on top of it all. He'd been trying to write an essay on Golpalott's Third Law, which was easier said than done, considering that he hadn't even heard of Golpalott until last week, and the guy had created far too many laws for Remus' liking. Irritatingly, he couldn't seem to get past the introduction.

"Sirius," Remus finally said as the broom was triumphantly extracted from under a pile of Peter's clothes, "I expect I already know the answer, but have you started this potions essay?"

"I've got all day tomorrow!" Sirius said carelessly, as he hoisted the broomstick over his shoulder.

James grabbed him by the arm impatiently and started dragging him towards the door, muttering to himself anxiously. He really didn't want to make a bad impression on his first day in charge of the team.

"Why don't you leave it for now and come and watch try-outs?" Sirius called over his shoulder as he was pulled rather roughly down the stairs.

Remus extracted himself from his nest of books and parchment and followed them as far as the stairs. "I want to get this done so I can start on transfiguration tomorrow," he called after Sirius. "Good luck though!"

Sirius grinned at him before clambering out of the portrait hole after James. Remus supposed he didn't really need luck, both because James was bound to choose him for the team and the had, apparently, become an excellent beater from all the practice he'd had over summer. Despite the inevitability of it though, Sirius was likely to be so pleased about getting the position that he would have to tell everyone in the common room about it at least twice, Remus included. It was therefore best that he get the essay done before try-outs were over – though he still had no idea what to write.

Sighing, he went back into the dormitory and gathered up his books and writing equipment, piling them all inside his bag. He hoped he'd have better luck at the library; maybe he was just looking in the wrong books.

But when he got there, it was already packed, mostly with other sixth and seventh years. He circled the desks twice before concluding that there was someone sitting at every single table. He supposed he could have gone back to the common room, but it had been loud when he'd left and the cosy armchairs in front of the fire always made him want to nap instead of do work.

Warily, he went over to the only other Gryffindor sixth year he'd spotted, who was leaning over a sheet of parchment that was already nearly filled with her neat, curly handwriting. "Uhm," he said, putting his hand on the back of the chair opposite her. "Lily? Can I sit here?"

Lily jumped slightly, not having noticed anyone approach until Remus was already hovering in front of her, looking hopeful. Thankfully, she was almost done with her Potions essay, but she had a pile of other homework to contend with, not to mention hallways to patrol that evening.

Remus looked like Lily felt: stressed. He was wearing a thin jumper with small holes around the cuffs that he fiddled with as he waited for an answer. His eyes were wide and tired looking, as if he'd been staring at the something for far too long.

"Sure," she said, gesturing for Remus to take the seat; his obvious frustration quelled her feeling of unease about potentially being the victim of a prank.

She'd never quite known how to act around Remus – the fact that he spent all his time with Sirius and James didn't exactly instil her with confidence, but he'd never come across as untrustworthy or immature. He always worked hard, and whenever their prefect duties overlapped he was pleasant to her.

"What are you working on?" she asked, putting her quill down and peering across the table at Remus' short paragraph. "Potions?"

"Yeah," Remus said, taking the seat with relief. He took his quill, ink and parchment from his bag and frowned at his introduction. "I haven't really managed to get anywhere with it though. How about you?" He glanced at the book open next to her and saw a diagram of a cauldron with several labelled ingredients around it.

"I just have the conclusion left," Lily said. She pushed the book Remus was trying to see over to his side of the table with a small smile. "Here. It took me almost an hour to find a book that was actually useful. I'm not cruel enough to put you through that."

She re-dipped her quill and finished off her essay with a few more concise lines about how simply mixing anecdotes would not be sufficient in curing blended poisons. Scrawling her name and the date across the top, she smoothed the parchment out and put it to one side, feeling extremely relieved.

Remus poured over the potions book, flicking back a couple of pages and finding a helpful explanation of how to make antidotes that didn't make his head spin. "This is great," he said, looking up at Lily and smiling. "That's twice now you've saved me from the nightmare that is NEWT-level potions."

"I don't know how you ever get anything done with those friends of yours," she informed him.

She'd pulled out a transfiguration book and was already half way through a paragraph describing how to make an enchantment hold for prolonged periods. "I bet neither of them have started what McGonagall set and they'll still get at least Exceeds Expectations."

She shook her head, but softened slightly when Remus looked uncomfortable. "Mary's gone to try-outs too," she confessed. "So I'll probably be about for a while if you need any more help."

Surprised at the offer, and relieved at the change of topic, Remus smiled. "Thanks," he said as he dipped his quill into the inkwell and started his next paragraph.

* * *

Try-outs were going better than expected. James hadn't wanted to kick anyone off the team and would have just recruited for the three positions that were open, but McGonagall had told him that he had to give everyone a chance, just in case he found someone better than last year's players. Luckily, no one wanted to be keeper except Marlene McKinnon, a seventh year who was already on the team, so the position had automatically gone to her.

Chaser try-outs were a little more complicated since he already took up one of the positions and four people wanted the remaining two. Still, it had been pretty clear who the best fliers were.

"Alright," James yelled, and the group of Gryffindors that were gathered around him quietened down. "I've made my decision. You all flew well, but there can only be three chasers. This year they will be me, Benjy Fenwick, and Mary MacDonald."

There were a couple of woops from the chosen chasers and their friends before James hushed them again. "Okay, beaters next, listen up those of you who're trying out for that position. I know beaters are usually prized for their strength, but aim is also important. I don't want any injuries today, so instead of aiming for people, you'll be trying to hit the bludgers through the goal posts. I'm letting two bludgers out at once, and you'll have to keep track of both of them to make sure they don't hit anyone, okay? Kingsley, you're up first."

Kingsley nodded and mounted his broom, soaring up to the height of the goal posts with a bat in his hand. Once he was high enough, James told everyone to step back and released the bludgers. They rocketed straight up into the air, and within seconds Kingsley had hit them both. The first one was too high, but the second went through the left hoop before zooming back towards him.

James watched him for about five minutes before getting on his broom to help retrieve the bludgers and return them to the box. Kingsley had been on the team for as long as James had, and all his practice meant he'd almost certainly get one of the beater positions. James hoped that the second person who tried out wasn't as good, so that Sirius didn't have too much competition. He crossed his fingers, but he needed have worried; the girl was only a third year, and in five minutes she only got a bludger through the goal posts twice. At one point, she even lost track of one of the bludgers and it would have smacked Benjy Fenwick in the face if Kingsley hadn't pulled him out the way. James knew Sirius could do a lot better than that.

Sirius was quietly confident as he got on his broom, winking at James, who was poised to release the bludgers, before he took off into the air. Somewhere in the back of his mind the possible embarrassment of being beaten by a third year buzzed around his head, but he soon shook the feeling off, watching the two balls as they launched into the air before him.

Sirius had only practiced flying on the pitch a handful of times, more used to the open fields around James' house and aiming at carefully marked out targets between trees. Surprisingly, it wasn't too hard to get used to the change of scenery. Without really thinking about it, Sirius sped forward, ducking the first bludger and knocking the second towards the goal closest to him, where it flew through the goal with what he was tempted to think of as a menacing swoosh. Before it could rally back towards him, Sirius turned his attention to the other ball. Waiting until just the right moment, he swung his bat with as much force as he could, sending one bludger flying towards the other, where they crashed together and fell through two different hoops. Somewhere below him, Sirius heard a ripple of applause from the other players and smiled to himself. Glad not to have let James down, he raced back towards the centre of the pitch, preparing for his next hit.

James grinned as the bludgers swooped back towards Sirius and he knocked them through the hoops again. He was delighted that, when the five minutes were up, Sirius had managed to get the bludgers through the hoops as many times as Kingsley though admittedly at one point he was too busy being pleased with himself to notice the bludger that slammed into him. Still, even with a probably-dislocated shoulder he was able to hit the ball as hard as it had hit him, which James thought was an admirable quality in any Quidditch player.

As the two of them rounded up the bludgers, James flew close to Sirius and gave him a thumbs up. "It's hard to tell, but I think you might just get on the team, mate."

"Don't know how wise the Captain is then," Sirius grinned, "or me for that matter, if I'm going to get hit every bloody game."

The two of them wrestled the bludgers back into their box for the final time, and James, to no one's surprise, announced that Sirius and Kingsley would be the team's beaters. Kingsley put a heavy hand on Sirius' shoulder as James gathered the potential seekers and realised the snitch.

"Good work," he said. Sirius flinched away as Kingsley raised his wand, but all he felt was a wave of warmth in his shoulder as he muttered a spell under his breath.

Rolling his shoulders back experimentally , Sirius found that the pain was completely gone. "Thanks!" he said, surprised. "Though a bit of warning next time, eh?"

Kingsley just laughed. "You won't be saying that when the other team's beater slams a bludger into your chest."

Sirius didn't know if he was joking or not. Kingsley seemed to have that effect on people. Turning his attention back to the team, Sirius saw everyone flying back down to the ground. In the few minutes that he'd been talking to Kingsley, someone had apparently managed to catch the snitch, though most of the audience seemed to have missed it.

The someone turned out to be a small, brown haired fourth year called Chloe, who stood in the centre of her much larger teammates with a huge grin, holding out the golden winged ball to James, who looked extremely impressed.

"Congratulations, Chloe," he said, patting her on the back. "You and everyone else who made the team make sure you all turn up to practice next Sunday, and I hope we'll see the rest of you supporting us at the first match of the year!"

As the others disbanded and began the trek back to the castle, Sirius helped James organise the abandoned school brooms and equipment that had been used during try-outs.

"Think we've got a chance?" he asked hopefully, dragging a crate of balls across the grass with one handle.

"Are you kidding?" James replied. Sirius couldn't see his face over the mountain of brooms in his hands, but he had the distinct impression that he was grinning. "We're going to win every match!"


	6. Slug Club

James had been the only one in the dorm when a third year boy had knocked on the door and nervously handed him a roll of parchment before scuttling back down to the common room. It was addressed to Sirius, but James tore off the ribbon anyway and sprawled out on Sirius' bed to read the letter; his own bed was covered in the contents of his trunk, which he'd emptied to find the exploding snap cards he was sure he'd packed.

The parchment was an invitation to one of the gatherings Professor Slughorn held every few weeks. James had been invited once too, but the only time he'd gone he and Sirius had got so bored of being told about other students' influential relatives that they'd set off a bunch of Filibuster Fireworks to entertain themselves. A lot of bangs and flashes and a small fire had resulted from it, so James had never received another invitation – which was quite a relief – but Sirius' family meant more to Slughorn than his tendency to blow things up when bored, so he had been invited to every single Slug Club meeting and kept having to make up excuses not to go.

Shoving the invitation into his pocket, James tipped his trunk upside down so that all the junk sitting at the bottom of it tipped out onto the floor. Some broken quills, a few dusty Every Flavour Beans, and what looked like a frog brain from his old potions kit all spilled out around his feet. He frowned at the mess for a moment before triumphantly retrieving the exploding snap deck from underneath a wizard's hat he hadn't worn for about five years.

Back in the common room, he found his friends where he'd left them, sitting around a table spread with textbooks. Peter had been doing homework when James had left, but he had evidently given up as he was now making paper aeroplanes so that Sirius could levitate them towards the backs of other students' heads. Remus actually was trying to do homework, but as far as James could tell he was still staring at the same page of 'The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6' as he had been fifteen minutes ago.

James ducked to avoid one of the paper aeroplanes and sat down next to Sirius, chucking the invitation at him. "Slug Club tonight. You're going to have to come up with a better excuse than last time; I don't reckon he believed that you were too busy with homework to go."

Sirius uncurled the parchment and briefly read it.

"I said I'd go," he sighed, tossing it to one side. "Don't ask me why. The potions fumes must have gotten to me."

"I'm sure it won't be that bad," Remus said, sitting back in his chair and running a hand through his hair. "Just try not to hex Snape."

"Though if you do hex him, you might not get invited again," James pointed out.

Remus shook his head. "There will be plenty of other sixth years there to talk to. Lily's going, and I think Alice from Hufflepuff got invited too."

"Lily's going?" James repeated.

"Yeah." Sirius replied, rolling his eyes at James' sudden interest. "And I don't think she'll be hanging around the Slytherins either. There's definitely something going on between her and Snape."

"By something," Peter cut in, "you mean..."

"She's avoiding him Wormy, get your mind out of the gutter." Sirius laughed. "Shame you got yourself uninvited Prongs, you could have tried some more of those chat up lines on her."

"I thought you realised that the chat up lines were really not helping?" Remus said quickly, now completely ignoring the book in his lap.

"Doesn't matter," James said, his eyes glinting behind his glasses as they always did when he had an idea. "I'm not the one who got invited, so we're going to work with what we've got. Padfoot, you can talk to her, find out what's with her and Snape. And while you're at it, you might want to throw in a few comments about how handsome and charming I am."

"I'm sure that will go down really well. 'Hi Evans, didn't James look simply spiffing in his robes today, why don't you and he go on a date to talk about your sudden mutual dislike for Snivellus."

James scrunched up a spare bit of parchment and threw it at him. "Go on, Pads, you only have to talk to her for a bit."

“Better her than a bunch of Slytherins,” Peter pointed out.

"Fine," Sirius said, "but if Lily hexes me it will be entirely your fault. What are you lot doing tonight anyway?"

"Well," James said, gathering up all the textbooks and dumping them on a spare chair. "We're going to spend our time playing exploding snap and doing absolutely no more homework. Right, Moony?"

"It seems I have no other choice," he replied solemnly. "There is absolutely no way I could walk over to that chair and get back my textbooks. I will be forced to play exploding snap all night. What a tragedy this is."

"Your life is almost as tragic as mine," Sirius grinned. "I must go and get dressed for a night of free food and drink. However will I cope?"

He sighed dramatically, waved once to his friends, and ran up the stairs to the dormitory.

* * *

Sirius hadn't been sure what to wear. He'd contemplated just sticking his leather jacket on over a t-shirt, but that seemed a bit rude, and he didn't dislike Slughorn enough to purposefully wind him up. School uniform would look like he hadn't made an effort, but dress robes would look like he'd made _too much_ effort. Usually, an occasion like this wouldn't warrant much thought, but the inevitability of a room filled with snobby purebloods irritated him.

In the end, he went for smartish muggle-like attire – a way to look half decent but also piss off those purebloods who hated muggle culture. The maroon shirt was a little long on him, considering he'd dug it out of the back of James' wardrobe, but it otherwise fit well. James never wore it, so he doubted he'd mind.

Slughorn's office was down on the sixth floor, and by the time Sirius arrived it was already swarming with other fifth-to-seventh years. There weren't that many people really, but they buzzed about, shaking hands and asking about other families' business as if they were 60, not 16. Slughorn was talking to a Ravenclaw boy and Slytherin girl over by the large dining table; Sirius didn't know their first names, but something at the back of his mind told him that they were cousins. Knowing his parents, they had probably been to Grimmauld Place at some point, but he'd all but forgotten them.

Looking around, he quickly realised that he knew very few people in the room. A little less than a third of the twenty or so people were sixth years, the majority being Slytherins or Ravenclaws. Scanning the room, Sirius saw Frank Longbottom, a seventh year Gryffindor, standing by the fire talking to two Slytherins. Behind them, sitting on an overstuffed brown sofa, sat Lily. She didn't look particularly at ease, glancing around now and then as if she wasn't quite sure what to do with herself. Sirius darted past the other students to get to her, instantly flopping down beside her with a deep sigh.

"Are they always this... formal?" he asked with some concern. "No one's even insulted me, it's like they're adults."

"I'm surprised you came," Lily replied, raising an eyebrow at his clothes. "They're sizing each other up for the new year." She pointed discreetly to a Slytherin boy who was standing to the side of a group. "That's Wilkes, his father got fired from the ministry over summer; it was in the paper and everything. I'm surprised he was even invited back this year."

"He needs better friends," Sirius said, noticing how the boy was being excluded from the conversations around him. "What about you Evans, why aren't you gossiping with the high and mighty?"

"They're very dull really," she replied, sighing. "Most of them ignore me."

"So why are you here?"

Lily looked at him. "Why the sudden interest, Black?"

"Just friendly conversation," Sirius grinned. "No need to be so hostile."

"I doubt that," she replied, but she didn’t press the matter. "Slughorn's decent, he lets me practice my potions in the classroom and actually takes an interest in my family. How about you? I didn't actually believe you when you said you'd come."

"I'm a man of my word!"

Lily shook her head at him, making a 'hmmm' sound. She didn't reply, and Sirius didn't have any idea how to ask her about Snape without seeming like a nosy git. He didn't want her hexing him for doing James' bidding. Sirius spotted Slughorn again, this time talking to Frank about his mother, whom he'd apparently made the mistake of asking on a date when he'd been in his fifth year. Frank laughed a little too loudly at the story, attracting the attention of people nearby. The only person who didn't stop to peer over at them was a boy that Sirius had only just noticed, standing a few feet away with some other sixth years. Severus Snape was alternately glaring from him to Lily, looking as though he were about to launch himself at Sirius for daring to sit near her.

"I can't believe him," Lily said, mostly to herself. She bent her head, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Snape?" Sirius enquired quickly. "What's the deal with you two anyway? I thought you were mates."

"You know what he's like," she told him, lowering her voice but sounding no less angry. "I don't want to talk to him but he just keeps staring and won't leave me alone. Not that you're much better."

Lily was glaring at Sirius as though the whole situation was his fault. True, the reason Lily and Snape had argued was because James and Sirius had jinxed him, but nothing they’d done had warranted what Snape had said. There was no justification for ever calling someone a mudblood.

"Evans," he said, "if you ask me, he's a no good-"

"I didn't ask you," she said. "Just leave it alone, Sirius."

"Okay," he said, holding his hands up defensively. "But if you need anyone to hex him-"

"I'm perfectly capable of hexing people myself. Just ask Potter."

Sirius blinked, thinking he’d annoyed her, but there was a small smile on Lily's face. "I'm sure you are."

The room was almost full now, and Sirius suspected they'd be sitting down to whatever the house elves had put together soon. He wondered if he could get a drink first, but before he could get up, a girl appeared directly in front of him.

"Oh," Sirius said, surprised. "Hello."

"Hi," Alice replied, blushing as she looked between the two of them. "Um, I know we don't really know each other, but I'd rather talk to you than anyone else here, if that's okay?"

"Yeah, of course," Lily said, smiling and shuffling over on the sofa to make room for her. "You're Alice, right?"

Relieved, she sat down between them. "That's me! I only just escaped from some seventh years who were quizzing me on my family tree – trying to figure out how a pureblood could possibly have parents with no fortune and no ministry connections, I think." She wrinkled her nose.

"I know the feeling; I think I nearly gave someone a heart attack earlier when I told them my parents are muggles."

"They're complete snobs," Alice said. "I almost wish I hadn't come. Have either of you been before?"

Lily nodded. "A few times, yeah."

They looked at Sirius, who shrugged. "Only once, but it didn't go very well. I nearly blew up some Slytherins with a firework."

Alice laughed and Sirius turned to look at her. He knew he probably ought to know who everyone in his year was by now, but he was never very good at remembering that sort of thing. Still, he recognised her round face and short chestnut hair. "Hey, aren't you the one who soaked the whole class last week in charms?"

She gave him a small grin. "Oops, yeah, the aguamenti spell is clearly not my greatest strength. But I got out of detention by saying my charm casting wasn't bad, just very enthusiastic."

"Indeed!" The three of them looked up at the booming voice to find Slughorn standing over them, smiling fondly. "I heard all about that little, er, accident in the staff room the same day Professor Kettleburn told me how excellent you are at Care of Magical Creatures; the highest OWL score ever achieved, most impressive!"

He beamed at Alice and she blushed again. "Thanks, Professor."

"And I see you've been talking to some other talented students of mine. Miss Evans has quite a gift for potions, you know. And Mr Black astonishes me every year with excellent grades."

"Well I am full of surprises, Professor," Sirius replied.

"Yes, quite," Slughorn said, most likely remembering the last time Sirius had attended the Slug Club. Sirius gave his best attempt at an innocent smile. "And your brother has been doing very well too, I'm quite certain he'll be a charming addition to my little club when he's old enough next year. A pity you weren't in Slytherin as well, Sirius, I would have been delighted to have the entire Black family in my house."

Sirius just shrugged and said nothing. Lily shot him a worried look, but before she could say anything, Frank appeared at Slughorn's side with a sulky-looking fifth year in tow. "Professor!" he said enthusiastically, "Ainsworth here really wants to tell you about his grandmother's third husband. Why don't you go and talk by the punch? It's giving off a quite alarming odour."

"Is it?" Slughorn asked, turning around quickly, "well then, come along Ainsworth, three now is it?"

Watching Slughorn walk away with relief, Frank plonked himself down on the arm of the sofa. "It gets worse every year," he said conversationally. "You should all save yourselves while you can."

"Why do you still come then?" Alice asked.

"My mum forces me," he sighed. "She wants me to know important people, but I've had quite enough of them."

Alice giggled. "I can't say I blame you," she said, craning her head around to look at Frank more clearly. She definitely recognised him from around the school, and could swear her roommate had told her how handsome he was. "It's my first time here – I'm not sure if we've met."

"I don't think so. I'm Frank," he smiled, awkwardly offering his hand for her to shake.

"I'm Alice," she said, struggling to reach across Sirius to take his hand.

"Nice to meet you Alice. I take back what I said about getting out while you can."

Interrupting, Sirius coughed loudly and said, "Would you two like a moment alone to grope each other's hands some more, or shall we go and eat?"

"It's ready?" Alice asked, letting go of Frank and looking away bashfully.

They both jumped to their feet, peering over at the table, which was now almost overflowing with dishes. "The one good thing about the Slug Club is the food," Frank told her. "You have to try the casserole; he gets it made specially."

"Let's try and get four seats as far away from Slughorn as possible," Lily said, leading the way.

"And as close as we can to that massive turkey," Sirius added.


	7. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a silly one but who can resist Halloween?

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Remus said in dismay, slurring slightly due to the fact that Sirius had just shoved a set of false vampire teeth into his mouth.

James grinned and led the way into the classroom, his cape rippling behind him. About half of the charms class had arrived before them and were already in their seats, unpacking their books and talking about the Halloween feast that night. Everyone looked around as the four of them walked in, which was unsurprising since they were the only people wearing costumes instead of school robes.

"I vant to suck your blood!" James and Sirius declared in unison, with Peter saying the words slightly delayed, like an echo. The three of them were all wearing capes and vampire teeth, though Sirius was the only one who'd cut off the high collar from some of his old dress robes and attached it to his cape. He'd also drizzled false blood down himself – and half of the dormitory in the process.

Remus shook his head, trying to suppress a smile, and sat down at his desk. He'd refused to wear a cape, but Sirius had made him promise to keep in the teeth at least until he was told to take them out, so he had to put up with them.

After pretending to bite other students on the neck, which made a few people laugh and just as many roll their eyes, the rest of them took their seats beside Remus.

Professor Flitwick arrived just as Sirius had managed, with some difficulty, to extract a textbook out of the inner pocket of his cape.

"Professor," he said as pleasantly as he could while wearing fake fangs, "I regret to inform you that your favourite student, Sirius Black, charming and handsome though he was, has been replaced by -" Sirius flared up the corners of his collar, framing his face as he reached a hand out dramatically and clasped James' shoulder, "Count Dracula!"

"I see," Flitwick said, mostly unsurprised by the antics as he climbed onto a stack of books at the front of the class. "Well as long as Count Dracula is able to practice non-verbal spells, I suppose he can stay. Along with his, er, fellow vampires."

"We'll try our best, Professor," James promised, "But the desire for blood may overwhelm us."

"Just stay in your seats," Flitwick replied wearily, "and try not to attack any of my students. Now, I trust you can all remember how to perform a basic levitation charm, which you learnt in your first year. I'm going to give you all a feather and I'd like you all to try that spell non-verbally. And no, saying the spell under your breath doesn't count."

James grabbed four feathers from the pile at the front of the class and brought them back to the table for his friends. He'd already managed to pull off a few non-verbal spells last year, so he wasn't particularly concerned with the task.

"Vampires should not have to levitate things with their minds," Peter said solemnly as he pointed his want firmly at his feather. "They should be busy drinking the blood of the innocent."

"Right you are, Pete," Sirius nodded gravely. "See anyone around here who you'd like to drink?"

Peter glanced around curiously, as if genuinely considering the offer, before catching Flitwick's eye and returning his attention back to the immobile feather in front of him with a huff of disappointment.

"I can't concentrate," Remus said faintly from beside Sirius. He still had the vampire teeth in against his own better judgement, along with the splattering of blood on his chin that Sirius had sprayed there earlier and completely 'forgotten' to mention. He pointed his wand at his feather and tried out the swish and flick motion that was now very familiar, but Peter was trying the exact same thing and their elbows clashed together. "Sorry, Wormtail," he said. "There's just no room to move. Maybe if I -" he got up from his stool and shuffled round to the other side of the desk, staring determinedly at his feather.

"Moony!" Sirius shouted suddenly. "Stop!"

But it was too late. Remus kept walking and Sirius quickly decided that he had no choice but to intervene. He threw himself over the desk between them with a cry, knocking Remus backwards into Flitwick's desk, which shuddered violently under the weight of the two boys.

"What the hell?" Remus asked, pulling himself away from Sirius as the class watched on with a mixture of horror and amusement. Books and trinkets from the desk had clattered to the floor around them, including an expensive looking crystal ball that had completely shattered.

"You were about to step into a patch of sunlight!" Sirius cried, gesturing to the square glow on the floor from the nearby window. "You're a vampire! You'd have turned to dust!"

Before Remus could come up with a suitably sarcastic response, Professor Flitwick appeared at the side of them. "What have you done?" he demanded, looking from the boys on the floor, back to James and Peter, who were close by and grinning.

"He was just trying to protect Remus," James tried to reason, while Peter nodded furiously behind him. "Preservation of the species is very important."

"Sorry Professor," Remus added quietly, as he finally managed to dislodge Sirius from on top of him and stand up. "We could fix your –

"No!" Flitwick interrupted, waving his hands at Remus "I've had quite enough of vampires for today, thank you. The four of you can go to see Professor McGonagall about your new desire for bloodsucking and not-so-new habit of disrupting my class."

"Yes, Professor," Peter agreed, completely unperturbed by the opportunity to leave class early.

The four of them grabbed their things and headed out into the corridor. James glanced at his watch as the door shut behind them. "It's only quarter past nine," he said. "Have we ever been sent out of class that early before?"

"It's probably a new record," Peter said.

"One of our greatest moments." Sirius grinned and his vampire teeth nearly fell out. He pushed them back in and slung an arm around Remus' shoulders. "Cheer, up, Moony. It's Halloween, a day of costumes, good food and the sacrifices of virgins - all good things!"

"Human sacrifice is not actually on the list of my top ten favourite activities."

"Better than facing McGonagall," Peter said, pulling a face. "I bet she'll give us detention for a week."

"As long as it doesn't interrupt Quidditch practice, who cares, eh Padfoot?" They stopped outside McGonagall's office and James grabbed the door handle.

McGonagall was sitting at her desk grading papers with a mug of warm tea in one hand and her quill in the other. She was probably glad to have the first period free, until she looked up and saw them.

Sirius watched in amusement as her eyes narrowed behind her glasses; she stood up from her desk and glanced between them as if she very well may be seeing things.

"I don't even want to ask," she said at length. "Disrupting class I presume?"

"If you can call our creative genius disruptive," James shrugged.

"Which would be downright soul-crushing," Sirius added, as both McGonagall and Remus sighed in unison.

"I can call it disruptive if it managed to irritate Professor Flitwick so much that he dismissed you within the first quarter of an hour of his class."

"Pfft," Sirius said, wafting away McGonagall's statement easily, "details, details. It's not our fault that our craving for blood and the theatrical is underappreciated."

"Well unless you'd like to leave Hogwarts and start up a life in the theatre, I'm afraid you'll have to cope with me crushing your creativity. You can all serve detention here at 8 o'clock tomorrow evening."

"But it's Halloween," James protested. "If you didn't expect us to be sent to your office at some point today, I'm personally offended that you don't seem to know us that well after all these years."

"I assure you I am completely unsurprised by your actions, Mr Potter, and I hope these costumes will be your only antics for the day. Please especially try not to blow up any pumpkins like last year. Now take off your costumes and perhaps you can overcome your dramatic tendencies by the time your second period classes start."

"I thought the pumpkins were a good idea," Remus muttered under his breath as they left. "Everyone thought that was funny."

* * *

After reluctantly going to the rest of his lessons in regular school robes, James was happy to be back in his cloak and vampire fangs. A lot of other people had dressed up for the feast, mostly those who had at least one muggle parent and were familiar with muggle traditions. James thought it was a shame that people from wizard families didn't tend to dress up for Halloween – though he for one had embraced the tradition as soon as he'd heard about it from Remus – as it was an incredible sight to walk into the great hall and find the house tables filled with people in costume. There were first years who were adorably dressed as skeletons and ghosts, and older students who looked like mermaids, pirates, and several characters from muggle fiction; Remus explained that one girl was dressed as someone called Alice, who had followed a rabbit down a hole for some reason.

There was even someone dressed as a werewolf, which James had frowned at and Sirius had desperately tried to stop Remus from noticing by setting his cloak on fire and exclaiming that vampires burnt like paper. But Remus had seen the costume anyway and had only smiled and pointed out that the snout was much too long before extinguishing Sirius and settling down at the table.

"I never understand why pumpkins and Halloween are linked," said Peter as they sat down. He gestured towards the food around them. "Pumpkin juice, pumpkin pasties, pumpkin pie. Why is that?"

"No idea," James replied, helping himself to everything on the table, pumpkin flavoured or not. "Maybe they just happen to be the right shape and size to carve spooky faces onto them, and the tastiness is an added bonus."

* * *

Lily had been working on her costume for the better part of the term – whenever she had a spare minute in between classes, homework, her friends, and her prefect duties that was. She loved Halloween. Ironically, when she was a little girl, both she and Petunia had more often than not dressed up as witches with long pointed fingers, wrinkly noses and black hats. Witch costumes didn't seem to exist in the costume shops of the wizarding world, so that tradition had been lost back when she was 11. Last year she'd dressed up as fairy along with the other girls in her dorm, but this year she had decided to make her own outfit.

A lot of the material had been left over from her mother's sewing supplies at Christmas, and since it was mostly red, Lily had decided to make a devil costume. She was proud of the red satin dress with spiked points around her knees, the elbow length gloves, the mask that wrapped around her ears, and especially the sparkly red devil horns that she'd managed to make with wire and sequins.

Not that she'd go around wearing it to her classes, no matter how proud she was. She wasn't a complete show off – unlike certain people.

After perfecting her makeup and throwing on some black fishnet tights to complete her look, Lily headed down to the great hall with her friends, excited for the feast and festivities.

James had just begun eating when the Gryffindor girls from their year walked past. His eye was caught by the bright red of a girl's dress, and he gazed with admiration at where the material clung to her body and where it had been cut short to reveal her long legs. Her face was hidden behind a devil mask, but her dark red hair, only a shade different from her dress, was distinctive. "Is that Evans!?" he said through a mouthful of mashed potato, elbowing Sirius in the ribs.

Sirius looked up just as the girls sat down a few seats away. "Damn," he said. "I think it is. I never realised how completely out of your league she is, mate."

The boys watched as Lily and her friends crowded together a little way down the table, laughing and talking as they reached for the nearest food and drink.

Lily poured herself some pumpkin juice and reached for a pasty. Honestly, the abundance of pumpkin flavoured treats at Hogwarts had initially been off-putting to her, but she had grown rather fond of them over the years.

"Potter's staring at you," Mary said from next to her, pointing not so discreetly down the Gryffindor table. Lily followed her gaze, rolling her eyes as she was met with the unabashed grin of James Potter. "I see you're in your costumes again," she said dryly, before adding, "Don't you know it's rude to stare?"

"Just appreciating the view," James replied cheerfully. "You look, er, devilishly good tonight."

Lily stared at James. "That was awful," she said unapologetically. "That was the worst pun I've ever heard in my life. And considering the lot of you seem to spew them out every other sentence, that's saying something."

"The appropriate response was to tell me I look drop-dead gorgeous, but I'll let you off." James continued to grin, and beside him Sirius snorted and nearly choked on a mouthful of pie.

"Do you want to know a secret?" Lily asked, leaning across the table so she was slightly closer to James and inclining her head to one side. The mask on her face was making her a little too warm in the crowded hall, and she tugged it into a more comfortable position. "Considering vampires are the complete opposite of teenage boys, I'd have thought you'd have gone for something that didn't stop all your," she looked pointedly down towards James' lap, which was full of crumbs, "circulation."

She drew back, smirking as Remus laughed into his juice and James' wide eyes followed her. He opened and closed his mouth, obviously flustered.

Lily just raised an eyebrow at him behind her mask and shrugged innocently.

"I feel it is my duty to inform you on his behalf that my dear friend James Potter is currently having an internal meltdown," Sirius said, smirking, "But please wait and he will be able to respond shortly."

James elbowed him again and gave Lily what he hoped was a winning smile. "I see that costume is corrupting you, Evans," he said, "Which is possibly why you seem to be warming to me. Maybe enough to want to hang out later?"

"You wish, Potter," she said with a smirk. Winking, she turned back around to her friends, who immediately huddled into a tighter group, whispering and giggling as they ate.

James turned to Sirius, a slightly dazed expression on his face. "You're right," he said. "She is totally out of my league."


	8. A Quiet Evening

Late evening was the busiest time in the Gryffindor common room, when everyone had returned from dinner but only the very youngest students had gone to bed. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter were lucky to have found a table near the fireplace, where the warmth, though pleasant, was making them all sleepy. The most productive thing any of them had done was when Peter managed to charm his quill to write what he dictated, but unfortunately it had only worked for half a sentence before it started trying to pick up what everyone in the common room was saying all at once and had scribbled gibberish. After that, they'd given up on trying to get any homework done.

At precisely 9pm, the watch Remus had charmed to remind him about prefect duty started beeping. He tapped it with his wand to get it to shut up, which as well as stopping the beeping, resulted in the watch starting to steam.

"Finite incantatum," he muttered in exasperation. "I think tiredness has eclipsed my magical ability. If I leave school to be a muggle do you think I'd be allowed to sleep for a year?"

"That sounds good," Peter said, leaning on the table and resting his chin on his arms. "I think I might join you."

"You sure you're okay to patrol, Moony?" James asked as Remus stood up to leave, rolling up the parchment he hadn't actually written anything on. "I'm tired, so you must be exhausted."

"Yeah, last night was pretty rough," Sirius said. "Maybe you should let Evans patrol by herself. I bet McGonagall wouldn't mind if you skipped it just this once."

"Or I could take your place," James suggested, grinning.

"I don't think it would be fair to subject her to your company," Remus said, glancing across the common room to where Lily was putting away her books and saying goodbye to her friends. "Anyway, it's only two hours. I'll manage."

"If you're sure," James said in a distracted tone as he noticed Lily coming over. His smile automatically turned into what he mistakenly thought was a winning grin.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You ready?" Lily asked Remus. "If you can bear to part from your fellow delinquents for an evening, that is."

"I'm ready," Remus said firmly, edging towards the portrait hole before James could make a fool of himself.

They stepped out into the corridor together and Lily shivered at the cooler air. Maybe she'd have to start putting her cloak and gloves on to patrol, she thought briefly. The evenings outside the dormitory could get awfully cold in the winter, especially if they were down in the dungeons or by the entrance hall.

"We're down on the 2nd and 3rd floor, right?" Remus asked, already starting towards the stairs without waiting for an answer.

Lily nodded and followed, frowning briefly at a couple of fourth years who were still scurrying back towards the common room. "Hopefully we won't encounter anyone else trying to sneak into the armoury. What did they even think they were going to go with those swords?"

"Stab each other, probably," Remus replied.

Lily wasn't entirely sure whether or not he was joking. Last year, she and Remus tended towards walking in opposite directions in their patrols, checking classrooms and dark corners of the castle for any troublemakers separately. Recently though, Lily had found that the two hours passed much more pleasantly when she had someone to talk to, and Remus wasn't all that bad when he wasn't around his friends.

"How are you, by the way?" she asked as she swung around the banister at the bottom of a flight of stairs - she always liked to check the library last when they patrolled around here, so it was best to start with the defence office on the second floor then work their way back up. "I saw you splinch your arm in apparition class earlier. It looked painful."

He raised his eyebrows, surprised she had even noticed that amongst the general chaos of the apparition class, but she was looking inside a classroom that had been left unlocked and didn't notice his expression.

"It wasn't as bad as it looked," he said. "Not as painful as actually getting your arm chopped off, I'd imagine. It just made me look like a bit of a prat."

"Well splinching is better than not being able to apparate at all yet. I'm sure next time you'll manage it without losing any limbs."

"Hope so," he replied. "I guess I was just tired. Is the classroom all clear?"

"Thankfully, yes." Lily replied, "Last year I walked in on a couple of seventh years who were almost completely naked. Empty classrooms are my enemy - I'm emotionally scarred."

Remus laughed. "Did you say anything to them or did you just leave and suppress that memory forever?"

"I think I stammered something about that being an inappropriate use of the classroom." Lily grinned. "Then I ran away."

"Good choice," Remus said as he took out his wand and prodded the wall between two portraits, one of a man fishing and the other of two women in a wine cellar who pointed and giggled at him.

The wall swung outwards like a door to reveal a narrow corridor. "I've never seen this passageway before," Lily said, lighting her wand and peering down it. "How did you know it was here?"

Remus shrugged. "James and Sirius have a knack for finding them. It leads to a dead end but I always check it just in case."

"Just in case what?" Lily asked, "you find someone else in your secret hideout?" She walked ahead of him towards the end of the corridor, where there was another empty classroom and the office of their defence professor, which was firmly locked. "Honestly, boys."

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Peter whispered as they stopped for the dozenth time to readjust the invisibility cloak, which only covered the three of them completely if they stooped while they walked.

"All my ideas are good," James replied, directing them towards the stairs leading down to the second floor.

Sirius snorted and James elbowed him in the side. "Ow!"

"Shhh," Peter said. "Someone will hear you!"

"No one is around here," James argued as they headed towards the staircase. "You worry too much Wormy."

"Really?" Peter replied in an urgent whisper, "because from here 'no one' looks an awful lot like Moony and Evans."

James turned in the direction of Peter's gaze, and spotted a tired-looking Remus and Lily walking down the corridor on the floor below.

"Bet you'd love to be caught by Evans, wouldn't you Prongs?" Sirius muttered, grinning.

"Actually, I don't think this would get me in her good books," James sighed as Lily and Remus turned and began to walk up the stairs towards them.

* * *

"He's really not all that bad," Remus said, shaking his head as he unknowingly approached his friends, who had shrunk as far as possible against one side of the railings, still under the cloak.

"Are you kidding me?" Lily sighed. "Maybe he can organise a Quidditch team but you all looked like complete idiots on Halloween. Not that I didn't appreciate the comic effect of you and Sirius literally falling over each other."

"He dived at me," Remus insisted, glancing suspiciously to his left when he thought he felt the waft of something move beside him. Shrugging, he turned back to Lily. "James just wanted to have fun - he loves Halloween. You almost gave him a heart attack with what you said at the feast, I think."

"His face was priceless," Lily smirked.

James made an indignant noise and felt Sirius laugh silently next to him. He waited for Remus to defend him, but instead Remus grinned and said, "That was probably my favourite part of the day - way more entertaining than the costumes."

"Moony you disloyal-" James whispered before he felt Sirius' hand on his mouth, but Remus and Lily had evidently already heard him because they both stopped and looked around.

Lily's face was clouded with confusion as she looked at the apparently empty staircase, but Remus's expression rocketed straight from bewildered to exasperated as he stared at the spot where his friends stood.

"What was that?" Lily asked, looking back down to the floor below them, then in front of her towards the first few classrooms on the third floor. Everywhere seemed quiet and empty. "I swear I just heard someone talking."

It was too late to deny that he'd heard anything, so Remus shrugged slightly and tried to look innocent, a talent that he had never quite mastered. "Er, maybe one of the suits of armour has gone walkabout?" he suggested weakly.

"Okaayy," Lily replied hesitantly. "Have you ever actually seen that happen?"

"We'd better go check the armoury," Remus said, ignoring the question and instead guiding Lily up the last of the stairs.

"We should really get that map finished," Sirius whispered as he felt James and Peter relax slightly and move away from each other into a more comfortable standing position. "Then we could avoid these kind of situations altogether."

"I think Moony's mad at you," Peter added, as Remus glared back at the three of them before he rounded the corner.

"He insulted our costumes," James said. "And an affront to the spirit of Halloween is an affront to everything we stand for."

Sirius grinned. "I'm with you there mate, but Moony did just have to cover for us and that's a dishonour of the prefect badge of something. Not that he complains when he's the one masterminding the pranks, mind you." 

"Oh well." James started walking down the stairs again, and Sirius and Peter had to hurry after him so the cloak didn't fall off. "It'll cheer him up when we bring back food from the kitchens."

* * *

Once their patrol was over and they returned to the nearly-empty common room, Lily said goodnight and went straight up to her dorm, leaving Remus to join his friends at the same table they'd been sitting at before he left. He almost might have convinced himself he imagined James' voice earlier, if it wasn't for the huge pile of food in the centre of the table.

"You went to the kitchens?" he asked, hovering by the table and surveying the mound of cauldron cakes, pumpkin pasties, doughnuts and treacle tarts. "I thought maybe you were going to have a nice quiet night and not do anything to endanger my job as a prefect."

"Can you be fired from being a prefect?" Peter mused aloud.

"Probably only if you blow up a classroom or something," James said around a mouthful of cake. "Which I promise I will not involve you in, if the need ever arises."

"So thoughtful of you," Remus said as he glared between the three of them before sighing deeply and picking up a couple of cauldron cakes.

"That's the spirit," Sirius grinned, hooking a foot behind Remus' leg and pulling him towards the sofa until he collapsed beside him. "You need to keep your strength up after all that prefecting."

"I should have let Lily catch you," Remus moaned. "Except James would only have made a fool of us all."

"He can't help it, it's a bad habit."

"Oh cheers, Pete."

Remus laughed at the indignant expression on James' face as he aimed half a cake at the back of Peter's head.

"You're all idiots," he decided.

Peter ducked under the table to recover the cake missile from the floor, which Sirius grabbed from his hand and aimed back towards an unsuspecting James. It hit James in the stomach and Sirius ducked his head, angling his entire body away from James and almost falling into Remus' lap in the process.

"Save me, Moony!" he laughed as James launched a counter attack.

"Complete idiots," Remus smiled.


	9. Gryffindor Vs Ravenclaw

Remus and Peter entered the Great Hall together at 8am – what they both considered a reasonable time to have breakfast, having told James to bugger off when he'd woken up at 6am and dragged Sirius out of bed. While James had gone off to wake the rest of the team, Remus had happily fallen back asleep to the sound of Peter's snores.

The four house tables were busier than they would normally be at this time on a Saturday morning because everyone was up early for the first Quidditch match of the year: Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw. Stifling a yawn, Remus pointed towards the Gryffindor team, who were all huddled together at one end of the table. He and Peter sat down next to Sirius, who seemed to have taken over the role of encouraging leader, since James was looking very pale and absently trying to eat a piece of toast with a spoon.

"We're going to be brilliant," Sirius declared loudly, addressing the entire team. "James worries too much, just because McKinnon fell off her broom one time." He shook his head cheerfully, placing a heavy hand on James' back. "If you hadn't been circling right underneath her she'd never have landed on you, you know."

James choked on his toast and Benjy, one of the other chasers, helpfully handed him a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Ignore him," Remus said mildly to James. "I'm no expert on Quidditch, but I've seen you train and you're plenty good enough to take on Ravenclaw."

"Yeah," Marlene agreed. "This is the best team we've had in years. They don't stand a chance!"

James managed a smile. "You're right. We can do this."

"That's what I've been telling you all morning," Sirius said, playfully nudging Remus in the side as he and Peter sat down. "One word from Moony and you're over your little panic?"

"Moony is much more reassuring than you," Peter informed him, slapping Sirius' hand away from his plate of bacon.

James glanced up as, for what must have been the tenth time, someone approached the table and leant down to speak to one of the team members; people had been coming up to wish them luck all morning, but this one in particular caught his attention.

"Have you eaten properly?" Lily asked her friend Mary, who was three people away from James at the table. She nodded hastily and Lily looked pleased. "The Ravenclaws look worried; you've already got them on the ropes from all the extra training."

"No need to worry, Evans," James said, leaning forward so he could look down the table at them and nearly putting his elbow in a jar of marmalade. "Mary's one of the best. She'll probably score ten goals singlehandedly before anyone spots the snitch."

"Well then," Lily said, rolling her eyes as she headed away from Mary and back towards her group of friends further down the table, "you'd better make sure you're not the one who screws it up, Potter."

* * *

Forty minutes into the match, James found himself grinning. They were winning by fifty points after Mary's latest goal, and he was confident that the Ravenclaw team weren't going to catch up any time soon. As long as their seeker, Chloe, was the one to catch the snitch, Gryffindor would win for sure; and as Kingsley and Sirius had hit a pair of bludgers at the Ravenclaw seeker last time he came close to catching it, James was fairly confident in their victory.

Telling himself to save his celebrations for when they'd actually won, he turned his attention back to the game. Benjy ducked a bludger and rammed into a Ravenclaw chaser so that she dropped the quaffle, which James swooped down to catch. Clutching it to his chest with one arm, he turned in a tight arc to head towards the Ravenclaw goal posts. The other team's keeper was pretty good – as good as Marlene, even – but he'd been hit in the arm by a bludger earlier in the game and wasn't at his best.

Putting on a burst of speed, James darted towards the left hoop and threw the quaffle, whooping when he scored and flying in a loop to celebrate. But when nobody from either team moved to catch the quaffle and barely anyone cheered, James shot a puzzled look around the pitch and saw two players – one of them in scarlet robes, one in deep blue – flying next to each other, moving so fast they were a blur.

He held his breath, too far away to do anything but watch as the two seekers raced after the snitch.

* * *

Sirius couldn't see what was happening. He was used to being in the stands, where he could easily watch the whole pitch and follow each player as they moved, but with both his teammates and the Ravenclaws all flying around him, it was difficult to keep track of the players as they zoomed past.

One thing he did manage to keep track of was the bludgers, one of which was thankfully at the other end of the pitch; the other, however, seemed to be heading in the direction of the seekers. Panicking, Sirius swept forwards, bat outstretched ready to beat the ball away from his teammates.

The bludger though, wasn't as fast as the seekers, who dodged the ball easily as they flew back up the pitch, straight towards Sirius. He pulled his broom to the side, darting out of their path just as the stands erupted around him.

Before he knew what was happening, Sirius' teammates were surrounding him, Chloe in the centre of them holding the snitch high above her head with a beaming smile. Then they were flying back to the ground and James' arms were around his shoulders, shouting in his ear that they'd done it – they'd won! Sirius could barely hear him over the roar of the Gryffindor spectators, but he grinned back anyway, enjoying the celebrations as his other teammates clambered over each other to congratulate themselves.

"I know what this calls for!" James shouted from where he'd somehow ended up during the minute that Sirius had lost track of him – on Kingsley's shoulders. "Party in the common room tonight!"

* * *

"You were amazing!" Lily insisted. She wasn't a huge sports fan, but the enthusiasm of everyone around match days was infectious. Mary was already on her third bottle of beer, though Lily was only on her second. Not that she begrudged her friend enjoying herself after all the training the team had put in leading up to the game. "Those second and third goals that you and Benjy scored were brilliant, everyone was going mad for you."

"Cheers Lily!" Benjy called from across the room, as Kingsley threw himself onto the sofa beside her and Mary.

"I'm exhausted," he said. "The party's for me and all I want to do it sleep for a week."

"It was worth it," Lily encouraged, "if you hadn't wacked those bludgers at the other team the chasers wouldn't have played half as well! Have another drink, you'll feel better."

She stood to get Kingsley a bottle, as Mary huffed good-naturedly at her comment about the chasers.

"Where did all this beer come from?" James asked as he joined them by a table that was usually stacked with books and homework but was now entirely covered in bottles. "Has McGonagall finally decided to reward us for our hard work or have the house elves started a revolution and replaced all the pumpkin juice with alcohol?"

"I assumed it was your doing," Lily replied with a shrug. "No one is complaining though."

"Nothing to do with me," he said, picking up a bottle and taking a long drink. "Though I will take complete credit for winning the match today."

"You will not," said a voice behind him, and he turned around to see Chloe standing there. She was short for a fourth year, which was perfect for a seeker, but when she wasn't on a broom she looked tiny. "I deserve at least half the credit. And also a beer."

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" James asked.

"Aren't you?" she replied, cheekily.

"Fair point," he said, clinking their bottles together. "Just the one though. And really, well done today. We couldn't have won without you."

"She was definitely the star player," Lily smirked once Chloe had disappeared back toward her friends. "Even Black did well," she said thoughtfully, "he must be very strong and muscular to hit the bludgers that far."

Kingsley raised his eyebrows when Lily patted him on the arm. "You too, Kingsley. Enormous biceps."

James opened his mouth and closed it again, feeling his cheeks going red. "Well. Chasers have to be fast and, er, co-ordinated and stuff."

"Co-ordinated, eh?" Lily said thoughtfully. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you trip over a desk in transfiguration the other day?"

James was rescued from having to reply to this by the appearance of Marlene, who slapped him hard on the back. "Nice one, Potter!" she said, leaning over him to reach the beer table. "Cracking first goal. Must've been within the first minute of the match."

"Cheers," James said, accepting the bottle that she pushed into his hand, even though he hadn't quite finished his first drink. "Glad someone is appreciating my talent."

"Inflating your ego, more like," Lily said, rolling her eyes. She picked up another bottle from the table and walked away. Shaking her head, she headed over to where Benjy was standing by the portrait hole.

"You shouldn't be so hard on him," Mary said, following her.

"He's such an arrogant -"

"Sometimes, yeah, but he's a great captain, isn't he?" she asked Benjy, who agreed. "He's given the team a real confidence boost, and he helped me a lot with my passes."

Lily sighed, putting down her beer on the cabinet nearby. "Maybe I was a bit harsh," she admitted. "He just winds me up."

"Yeah, because you fancy him," Benjy muttered.

"Screw you Fenwick, I most certainly do not." She scowled, scanning the crowded common room to look for James, who was over by the opposite wall, talking to Remus. "Alright, I suppose I'll go and tell him that he wasn't completely awful – but if this turns into a disaster I'm holding you both personally responsible."

* * *

Remus never really knew how to behave at parties. It wasn't that he disliked socialising or even drinking; he just found it all a bit crowded and loud and overwhelming. It was even worse so soon after a full moon, when his senses hadn't quite returned to normal. The stench of beer seemed too strong and the occasional static from the radio was piercing.

James and Sirius were on the other side of the common room surrounded by their teammates, and Remus hadn't wanted to interrupt them even though the buzz of alcohol he'd drunk had somewhat lowered his inhibitions. It'd been fine when Peter had been there, but at some point he'd snuck off out the portrait hole and Remus hadn't seen him since. He was just beginning to wonder whether he should go up to the dormitory when James detached himself from the team and came over.

"Moony, I'm not sure you fully appreciate the purpose of a party," he declared, leaning against the wall next to him.

"Sirius has informed me that it's to get drunk and laid."

James snorted. "Like he'd know."

"Well there was that one time we found him behind the curtain with that seventh year Hufflepuff," Remus said fairly. "Even if he did swear blind he didn't realise he was kissing a bloke until after."

"Oh Merlin, don't remind me." James took a large sip of beer as if to drown out the memory. "Though according to Lily he's 'strong and muscular' so no wonder so many people are attracted to him."

Remus gave him a curious look. "You do know she's only taking the piss, right? She's not about to elope with your best friend."

James pulled a face. "I know, it's just..." He gestured vaguely.

"Prongs, calm down, this whole party is because of you. Everyone knows the team played so well because you got them to train so hard. You should enjoy tonight." James raised his eyebrows and Remus ploughed on. "And you know you did some really good, er, flying. And excellent scoring. Some very good goals."

"Nice Quidditch talk, Moony," James said, laughing. "Now are you going to come over and have some fun or - er. Oh. Hi, Evans."

"Potter," Lily greeted, as she watched Remus slink away from them. She half wished he'd stay, as he was the only one of James' friend she was particularly good at holding a conversation with. "I just wanted to tell you that, you know, you weren't actually bad at the game today. You were - well, you did good."

"Oh," James said nervously, his hand moving to mess up his hair. "Uh. Thanks?"

Clasping her hands together in front of her, Lily nodded uncomfortably. "Well," she said, "that's all I wanted to say so I'll just -" she pointed backwards towards Mary and Benjy, who had been joined by a couple of other people.

Sirius arrived at James' side just as Lily made it back to her friends. "Evans eh?" he asked, surprised. "What was she after?"

"Quidditch..." James said, aware that he was staring at Lily as she crossed the common room.

Sirius waved a hand in front of his face. "Earth to Prongs."

"She said 'you did good'." James looked at Sirius, unable to stop himself from grinning. "I did good, Pads! That's the first time she's ever complimented me."

Sirius looked from James' ecstatic expression over to Lily, who was resolutely facing away from them. "Well done, mate," he said, trying not to laugh at how excited his friend was over a not particularly inspiring compliment. "Where are Moony and Wormtail?" he asked. "I swear I've barely seen any of you all night."

"Pete buggered off with some girl about an hour ago and Moony-" He stopped abruptly, noticing that Remus was not standing alone again as James had expected; instead, he was talking to a fifth year girl. She was twirling a lock of her hair around her finger and smiling at Remus, who was gesturing animatedly. "And Moony is also with a girl," James finished, raising his eyebrows at Sirius.

"Why is -" Sirius began, following James' gaze to watch Remus and the mysterious girl, who giggled far too enthusiastically at something Remus said. The two of them were standing close enough to kiss, and something about watching them made Sirius feel uncomfortable. "Never mind,” he shrugged, forcing a smile. "Evans being nice to you, Pete and Remus getting girls – the world has truly gone mad. Come on, let's get another drink."


	10. First Dates

Remus was used to the last week of term before the Christmas holidays being relaxed; last year, even McGonagall had neglected to give them any homework, and the most taxing thing they're had to do in any of their lessons was transfigure small objects into Christmas tree decorations.

But apparently NEWTs were Very Serious (not to mention Nastily Exhausting) and so, three days before the end of term, they had to sit through a Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson about the cruciatus curse. They'd all worn grim expressions for the whole class, and even though they'd only had to listen to their professor talking for an hour rather than doing magic or writing essays, it had been far from an easy lesson.

Though Remus wasn't as into Christmas cheer as Sirius – who'd spent yesterday evening enthusiastically singing carols and decorating the entire common room in tinsel – unforgiveable curses didn't exactly fill him with the holiday spirit, so at the end of class he searched for a lighter topic of conversation.

"Have you asked anyone to Slughorn's Christmas party yet?" he asked Sirius, shouldering his bag of heavy books and joining the stream of students heading out into the corridor.

"Slughorn's Christmas party," Sirius repeated, as he followed his friends towards the door. "Which is on Saturday. Bollocks, I completely forgot about it!"

He scanned the hallway hopefully for a suitable candidate, but no one immediately popped into his mind. It was a little annoying that they were allowed to bring dates at all – it made the whole thing seem very formal and awkward. Plus, other than the Quidditch team and Lily, Sirius didn't really know a whole lot of girls.

This momentarily puzzled him. As a charming and obviously good looking sixth year, Sirius shouldn't have to think particularly hard about who to take to a silly Christmas party.

"Oh," he said, shrugging his shoulders back confidently as Lily and Mary passed them on their way down the hall. "Mary seems cool, right? She's a great Quidditch player and she was fun at the party the other week. I should ask her!"

Without waiting for a response, Sirius sped up his pace to catch Lily and Mary before they entered the Great Hall, calling out, "Hey MacDonald!" as he went.

Amongst the sea of students, the girls stopped and turned. Feeling suddenly awkward, Sirius loosened his tie and said, "Um, hi."

"Hey." Mary smiled, looking at him expectantly. "What's up?"

The annoyed looks of fellow students as they tried to navigate around them to get to lunch was quite off-putting, so Sirius thought that it would be best to get right to the point. "Do you want to go to Slughorn's party with me?" he asked bluntly

"Oh," Mary said, blinking at him, "I-"

"It's just," Sirius ploughed on, "Those things are boring at the best of times and I don't want to ask someone I don't know so..." he shrugged. "Up to you of course."

Lily was staring at him as if he'd just grown another head, as was James, who had arrived at the scene just in time to hear Sirius embarrass himself.

"Actually," Mary said, glancing from Lily and back to Sirius with what might have been a small smile. "I don't see why not. It'll be a laugh."

"It will!" Sirius grinned smugly, looking victoriously back at his friends.

"What about you, Evans?" James asked, leaning an arm on Sirius' shoulder in what he hoped was a nonchalant manner. "Who're you going with?"

Lily and Mary exchanged a look and Lily pressed her lips together to hide a smile. "I've not asked anyone yet, actually."

"Oh yeah? Well maybe-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, as Lily looked straight past him to where Remus and Peter were waiting for them. "Hey Remus, what are you doing on Saturday night?"

Startled, Remus simply managed to say "err" before the wide-eyed look on James' face spurred him on. "I'm busy," he said firmly. "With, uh, prefect duty."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Funny how you have prefect duty and I don't."

"Yes, well, um, McGonagall must know you're in the Slug Club, mustn't she?"

"Hmm." Lily sighed, knowing full well that he was lying for James' sake. She shrugged and turned back to Mary, who was looking at her with an irritatingly expectant expression.

"Not you as well?"

"Sorry," Mary smiled, completely unapologetic, "I think you should give him a chance."

"I think you should give me a chance too," James interrupted rather too enthusiastically.

Casting a last, murderous look at Mary, Lily turned to James, who was, it seemed, holding his breath.

"I suppose," she said at length, "If everyone else is taken, I could be persuaded to give you _one_ chance."

James grinned at her, equal parts delighted and amazed. "Knew you had good taste after all, Evans."

"See you Saturday, idiot," Lily said, rolling her eyes as she turned to walk away – and immediately collided with someone. Not quite the exit she'd hoped for.

"Sorry!" Alice said, stepping back and rubbing her arm where she'd bumped it. "I just heard you all talking about the Slug Club and I absolutely have to tell you who I'm going with."

"Do you have better taste than I do?" Lily asked, shooting a look at James, who was being forcibly dragged away by Sirius.

Alice looked somewhat bewildered by that question, but she carried on anyway. "Frank asked me!"

"That's great!" Lily smiled.

Alice looked delighted, flushed in the face and so excited that she was practically bouncing. She and Frank would work well together, Lily thought when she looked back on their first encounter at the Slug Club.

"Well then," she smiled, putting a hand on Alice's shoulder, "why don't the three of us get lunch and you can help Mary and I discuss how we're going to deal with our frankly questionable choices of dates."

* * *

Lily was self-conscious. The dress she'd chosen to wear felt too tight, the strands of hair falling down around her face were tickling her uncomfortably, and she was fairly certain that high heels had been a bad idea. Mary looked considerably more comfortable in her flat shoes and long, dark blue dress with her brown hair pulled back into a messy bun on top of her head. Lily felt a momentary stab of jealousy, before she remembered that Mary had agreed to go with Sirius, and was therefore just as much of a fool as her.

They arrived at the party to be greeted by a student Lily was sure she recognised, dressed in over the top white robes and holding a tray of drinks, which Lily gratefully took – only to be disappointed that they were filled with pumpkin juice rather than mead. She wasn't entirely sure how she'd let her friends talk her into giving Potter a chance. Remus had been the much safer option – even though she didn't particularly want to date him, at least they would have had fun without Lily fussing over what she was wearing, and what on earth she could find to talk to James about.

"You look great," Mary reassured her, as they entered the room full of other fifth-to-seventh years, all milling around with drinks in their hands. Some people were already swaying slightly on the dance floor to the songs floating out from the wireless in the corner. Lily hoped James didn't want to dance – dancing was definitely not on the cards.

She spotted Alice and Frank first, holding hands and talking to James and Sirius over by the fireplace. Shaking herself in frustration at her reluctance, Lily pulled down the hem of her dress and headed over.

When he saw Lily and Mary approaching, James elbowed Sirius in the ribs harder than he'd meant to. "They're here," he hissed.

"Don't screw it up, Prongs," Sirius muttered in reply, before grinning at Mary and suggesting that they go to dance. She looked surprised but she agreed, giving Lily a gentle shove towards James before slipping away.

"Er, hi," James said, trying to subtly wipe his sweaty hands on his trousers. "You look nice. I mean, you look gorgeous. But that sounded cheesy in my head so I said nice, and then that didn't sound good enough so I said gorgeous anyway."

He was blushing furiously, and Lily felt her cheeks getting warm as well.

Alice glanced at each of them and raised her eyebrows at Frank, who said quickly, "Shall we go and dance too?"

"Definitely," she replied. "Let's leave them to it. Have a nice time, you two!"

They left hurriedly, just as a slightly faster song started playing, and Alice laughed as Frank span her around.

After watching them for a moment, James and Lily turned back to each other and smiled awkwardly. "Er, do you want to dance?" he asked nervously.

"Dancing isn't really my thing."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank Merlin, because I'm 99% sure I'm the worst dancer in this room. If you'd said yes I probably would've had to find some polyjuice potion and get someone to fill in for me."

"That bad, huh?" Lily asked, the corner of her mouth twitching. "Well I'm pretty terrible, too. The only way I'd get on that dance floor is if someone replaced this pumpkin juice with firewhiskey. Which, by the way, I am definitely not suggesting you do."

"Believe me, I am perfectly aware of the terrible dancing that ensues after a bottle of firewhiskey, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

Lily smiled, which James considered something of a success.

He didn't, however, seem to know what to say next. He just looked at her, then to the dance floor, before opening his mouth and failing to produce words.

"So," Lily said, after witnessing this for a few moments, "what are you doing for Christmas?"

Relieved to have something to talk about, James said, "Well we always have this big Christmas dinner at my house with my family and some of my parents’ friends that I've known forever. Mum makes the best roast dinner ever and Dad makes loads of mince pies so it's great and I always eat too much. And we get a huge tree as well, as tall as the ceiling, and my parents charm all the decorations so they glow and spin around and stuff. Obviously I can't do magic at home but I did some today that I can take with me so hopefully they won't try to fly out my suitcase or something on the train. And everything will be even better this year because Sirius is coming too and he loves Christmas but his family never really do anything for it. I just hope he doesn't find it weird being with all my family instead of his, because I know they're happy for him to be there but I think he worries he's intruding or something."

Suddenly aware that he was probably talking way too much, he stopped and shrugged. "So, yeah, it'll be good. What about you?"

"That sounds... really nice, actually." Lily said, surprised by James' sincerity. "Christmases at home kind of lost their appeal for me after a certain age. I'm just going to stay here this year and avoid the inevitable arguments with my sister."

"You won't get lonely here?" James asked. "'Cause not many other Gryffindors are staying – just Remus from our year, as far as I know. Sirius normally stays too, so I hope Moony's okay without him. At least you and him are sort of friends now, right?"

"He's a damn lot better than you most of the time," Lily smirked, watching James' smile flicker slightly as he tried to work out if she was teasing him or not. "I'll be fine, and so will Remus. Or Moony, as you say – you all have weird nicknames for each other, it's like you're in a gang."

"Yeah? I think you're forming your own gang, Evans - all you lot from the Slug Club. Never thought Sirius would fit in here but he seems to like it."

"He seems more cheerful than the first time he came," Lily agreed, scanning the room for Sirius and Mary. They'd stopped dancing and were now sitting close together by the window on the other side of the room. She spotted Frank and Alice still on the dance floor, holding onto each other and swaying in time to the slow melody. Before she could turn back to James, someone else caught Lily's eye. Dressed in long, sooty black robes that were at least a few years out of date, Snape was striding towards her looking murderous.

"Lily," he greeted curtly, "what are you doing with him?"

"What?" Lily asked, completely taken aback. She turned briefly to James, who was glaring at Snape with his hands balled into fists beside him. "He's my date, Severus. You know, those things you go on with people you like? So if you wouldn't mind leaving us alone-"

"You can't be dating him," Snape argued. "He'll use you! Come over here and -"

"Not going to happen," Lily said, taking James' hand. "Come on James, let's go and join the others."

“Lily, wait -” Snape said, grabbing her arm hard enough to hurt.

"Don't you dare touch her!" James snapped. His voice was so loud that several people turned towards them, but he didn't notice. "She said to leave us alone, Snivellus, so do us all a favour and get your massive nose out of our business."

Snape had gone even more pale than usual and seemed to be shaking with barely-suppressed rage, which he directed not at James, but at Lily. "Is this the best you can do?" he sneered. "Is he the only one who'd have you? Because I see no other reason why you'd choose _him_ over me."

James didn't even bother to reach for his wand, just lifted his fist and punched Snape hard in the face. There was a loud crack as Snape's nose broke and blood began to trickle from his nostrils as he staggered backwards. He looked too dazed to retaliate, and before he could recover enough to aim a curse at James, Slughorn got in the middle of them.

"What in the name of Merlin is going on here?" he demanded. "Mr Snape, you'd better get yourself to the hospital wing to see to that nose."

Glaring at James and trying to stifle his nosebleed with his sleeve, Snape stalked out. Slughorn frowned at James. "I'm quite disappointed in you, Mr Potter. Fighting right in the middle of one of my little parties - it's unheard of! I'll have to give you detention for this, I'm afraid, and perhaps you ought to leave early." He shook his head and gave Lily a faint smile. "Fighting over you were they, Miss Evans?"

Lily turned away from Slughorn without replying, glaring at James so furiously that she felt just about ready to explode.

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" she demanded. "Couldn't you just leave it alone? We were having a nice time and you had to ruin it!"

She saw Slughorn inching away from them as she shouted, knowing she was making a scene but feeling too frustrated to care. James started to defend himself, but Lily didn't have any patience left to listen.

"Don't!" she said. "Don't even bother. I'm sure you think you're very noble Potter, but don't you see? This is why we can never work together. You only think with your fists – and I don't need you defending me."

"I know that," James said quickly. "I know you can take care of yourself, but I just – what he said – he was being horrible to you!"

Lily crossed her arms and threw him a disgusted look, but just then Mary hurried over, dragging Sirius by the hand.

"Lily, what happened?" she asked. "You looked like you were having fun and then Snape..."

"Got socked in the face?" Sirius filled in, grinning.

"And of course you'd think that was a good thing," Lily snapped. "I'm leaving. Consider our first and only date over, Potter."

"Oh come on, Evans, we can't just end it like that," James said pleadingly, but she ignored him and spoke to Mary instead.

"You were enjoying yourself, right? You should stay and have fun."

"Are you sure?" Mary asked, looking concerned, although her gaze drifted back to Sirius. "I could leave too..."

Lily forced a smile. "No, it's okay. At least one of us shouldn't regret their choice of date tonight."

"Lily..." James said, but she didn't even look at him as she walked away, leaving him to stare at the door after she'd gone. He ran his fingers through his hair, looking as stunned as if he'd been the one to get punched. "I thought she hated him now," he said, mostly to himself.

"She does, basically," Mary said, giving him a sympathetic look and patting him awkwardly on the shoulder. "But her problem with him is _hers_ , you know? It's not about you, or the whole rivalry thing you and him have got going on. You made it so she was a person you were fighting over, not someone who can fight for herself."

"But I didn't mean to. I just-" He shook his head. "Never mind. You're right. I'm going to bed. See you later, Padfoot."

"See you, mate," Sirius said, his grin having faded to a frown. Once James was gone too, he raised his eyebrows at Mary. "Guess it's just you and me now, huh?"


	11. Last Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter includes (non-graphic) descriptions of sex.

Sirius had managed to snatch an almost-full bottle of mead from the table in Slughorn's office. He'd planned to share his spoils with James and Lily, but since they'd managed to run their date into the ground, he only grabbed glasses for himself and Mary from a passing waiter and topped them up with the dark amber liquid.

"Poor Prongs," he reflected, passing Mary a glass and quickly draining then refilling his own. "It's not his fault that Snape's a massive prick."

Mary peered at her glass dubiously before drinking half of it in one sip. "Yeah, I don't blame Potter for hitting him; Snape probably deserved it. Not really the best way to impress a girl, though."

"Apparently not," Sirius said with a small smile, "you don't go in for all that macho tough guy stuff? I thought girls liked that sort of thing."

"Clearly you haven't dated many girls," Mary replied, raising her eyebrows. "The whole knight in shining armour thing doesn't really work. We're not all damsels in distress." She held out her empty glass and Sirius obligingly refilled it.

"Honestly, I think I'm more of a damsel in distress than you," he shrugged. "Since you did me a favour by agreeing to come tonight and that." He smirked, perfectly aware of how corny he sounded. Unsurprisingly, Mary pulled a face at him, and took the bottle of mead out of his hand.

"You're terrible," she said, "come on, let's go and sit down before someone catches us with this."

Shrugging, Sirius followed her back to the sofa they'd been lounging on earlier; it was partially hidden from view by the net curtains surrounding it and was therefore the perfect spot.

* * *

Almost an hour later, the bottle of mead was significantly diminished and Mary found herself laughing far too hard at one of Sirius' jokes. She pressed her lips together until she'd stifled her giggles and leant her head against his shoulder, grinning up at him. "I think we might be getting a teeny tiny bit drunk."

"You clearly cannot handle your alcohol," Sirius announced, staggering to his feet so suddenly that Mary's head slipped off his shoulder and she fell sideways onto the sofa. "I on the other hand am completely sober, and think we should leave." He glanced around him – more than two thirds of the party-goers had already left; the only ones remaining were a couple of seventh years caught in a conversation with Slughorn and a few couples who were still too wrapped up in each other to notice the thinning crowds. Sirius spotted Frank and Alice kissing a few feet away, completely oblivious to anyone else around them.

"Let's go exploring!" he suggested, "I know all the best passages and stuff around the castle."

"Sounds great," Mary said as Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. She staggered a little, putting her hands against his chest to steady herself. "Thank god I didn't wear heels tonight. Alright, let's get out of here. Lead the way for our secret mission, 007."

He looked at her blankly. "007?"

"Yeah, you know, James Bond? The secret agent guy?" Sirius shrugged and she rolled her eyes. "You purebloods are really missing out on some great action films."

"I went to the cinema with James a couple of times," Sirius said, "but I didn't hear about any secret agents – that actually sounds better than what we watched. It was something about a really big monkey."

"Don't speak ill of King Kong or I will have to jinx you," Mary laughed.

They exited the party and emerged into the cool hallways, where Sirius stopped and looked around, trying to get his bearings – maybe he was just a little bit tipsy, and a lot of the candles in the halls had already been snuffed out, making it darker than usual.

He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to show Mary; nothing in particular really, he just knew that he was having a good time and didn't particularly want to go to bed just yet since it wasn't too late. It had been a little awkward at first, talking to her, but once he'd realised she was actually an interesting _person_ and not just a girl, the conversation had flowed much more freely.

"We should go this way," he decided randomly, thinking about the tapestry down on the fifth floor that was well lit and led directly to the kitchens. He was a little peckish come to think of it, and could easily go for something to eat.

They walked a little way in companionable silence. Sirius practical forgot that they were holding hands at all, until they came to a stop in front of the tapestry and Mary squeezed his hand expectantly.

"What's down here?" she whispered, feeling like she should keep her voice low seeing as she wasn't entirely sure they were allowed to be wandering the corridors this late at night.

"It leads to the kitchens," he replied, pulling back the tapestry to reveal a dark, narrow passageway behind it.

"Oh," Mary said, surprised. "You really want to go there? Because I can think of one or two things we could do that are more fun than a midnight snack."

She felt a little nervous as she said it, but Sirius let the tapestry fall back in place and looked at her curiously. "Like what?"

Smiling, she tugged him towards a classroom on the other side of the corridor, standing on her tiptoes to peer through the glass pane in the door. "I think this is the music room," she said, reaching for the handle. The door clicked open and she led Sirius inside before closing it behind them.

Sirius peered around at all the music stands set up in rows and the instruments standing against the wall. "What's so good about a music classroom?" he asked, bewildered.

"This," Mary said softly, letting go of his hand so she could slip her arms around his neck and kiss him.

Sirius blinked. He wobbled slightly on his feet where Mary was leaning against him, then attempted to steady himself by reaching out behind him for the wall.

Finally, his brain caught up to what was happening, just as Mary pulled away and looked at him curiously.

"Um," she said awkwardly, "if you don't want to-"

"No!" Sirius said immediately, "I mean yes, I do." He laughed quietly and put his hands on Mary's waist, pushing her back gently until they came up against a nearby desk. Then he bent down and kissed her, letting one of his hands wander down her back when she responded eagerly.

Mary pulled him closer so that their bodies were pressed tightly together, their kisses gradually becoming faster and less coordinated. As she untangled her fingers from Sirius' hair and ran her hands along his shoulders and chest, she felt the buttons of his waistcoat and slowly began to undo them, pausing to look up at him and check that it was okay.

He smiled and shrugged off the waistcoat, allowing it to fall carelessly to the floor and guiding her hands to the buttons of his shirt. It soon joined the waistcoat at their feet and then she was trailing her fingers across his bare chest, feeling his rapid pulse.

Sirius was breathing heavily and there was a buzzing in his ears, so he wasn’t quite thinking things through as much as he normally would. When Mary trailed her fingers lower, towards the button on his trousers, he leant eagerly into her touch.

She was making quiet gasping noises against his cheek as he hitched up her dress, running one hand along the inside of her thighs while the other stayed firmly on her back. Sirius had done a fair few things with girls before, but usually it was nothing more than copping a feel in the corner of the common room after a Quidditch party, or kissing a Valentine's date goodbye at the end of the night.

"Are you sure-" Sirius began, but it became very clear how sure Mary was when she finally managed to get his button undone and, after a confirming glance at Sirius’ face, slid her hand unabashedly below the waistband of his underwear.

Sirius drew in a sharp breath, his fingers inching further up her thighs, but when he leaned in to kiss her again she hesitated, biting her lip. "Do you know a protection spell?" she asked, blushing faintly.

"Oh. Um, yeah," he said, reaching towards his back pocket and resisting the temptation to say any of the wand innuendos that popped into his head. As he cast the spell he'd accidentally come across in a charms book a year ago, he thought how unexpected it was that tonight was the first time he would need to use it.

* * *

Mary wasn't talking to him. Instead, she was darting around the room, hastily gathering her things. Sirius wasn't entirely sure what had gone wrong, but he had a strange weight in his chest now that he was slightly more sober. It had all been over very quickly, and there didn't seem to be anything left to say. He watched in a detached sort of way as Mary shoved her bra into the bag with her other belongings and forced it closed.

"Um-" she said, already half way to the door when she turned to him, "I'm going to go and clean up, see you."

"Bye," Sirius sighed as the door clicked shut behind her. He was still half undressed, with his shirt crumpled at his feet and his trousers low and unfastened. He was fairly sure that he was supposed to feel pleased, triumphant even; James always talked about sex as if it would be magical, but if this was anything to go by, Sirius had some seriously bad news for him.

Picking up his shirt and re-buttoning it, Sirius attempted to make himself look more presentable before stepping into the hallway, hoping that he wouldn't run into any teachers on his way back to the common room.

It was even darker now, and the faint music from Slughorn's party on the floor above them had faded into silence, leaving Sirius to creep along with no idea of how close he was to being caught. He almost had a heart attack when, after only walking along for a few minutes, a horrific yowling laugh fell upon him.

Looking up, Sirius saw Peeves floating nearby.

"Peevesy sees what you've been up to with Mary Mary quite contrary. Should tell Professor Sluggy I should!" he said, resolutely following Sirius as he headed up the stairs towards the Gryffindor Tower.

"Sod off will you," Sirius snapped eventually, but all this did was encourage the poltergeist, who grabbed an empty candle holder from the wall and swung it enthusiastically at his head.

Ducking, Sirius jogged the rest of the way to the common room, eventually leaving an irritated Peeves behind him. Finally slipping through the portrait hole, he took a moment to compose himself, closing his eyes against the sudden exhaustion that seemed to have settled itself firmly on his shoulders. When none of his friends immediately accosted him, Sirius opened his eyes again - it must have gotten late, since the only people still downstairs were a couple of fifth years who were paying him no attention. Thinking hopefully of sleeping off the booze, Sirius headed up the stairs to the dormitory.

Of the four beds in the dorm, Remus' and Peter's remained empty: both boys were sitting at the bottom of James' four-poster, looking a mixture of frustrated and concerned. James himself was lying on his pillow, staring forlornly at the ceiling. He'd changed out of the robes he'd worn to the party and taken off his glasses, but his eyebrows were pulled tightly together and his lips were turned down in a frown, so he didn't look anywhere close to falling asleep. Sirius had almost forgotten about his and Lily's fight, but of course James was still thinking about it.

Closing the door softly behind him, Sirius collapsed onto his bed, wanting nothing more than to go straight to sleep. He turned towards James instead. "Didn't expect you lot to still be up," he said honestly, "you alright Prongs?"

"Been better," James replied. "How was the rest of the party? You were there ages."

"Yeah, crazy night," Sirius sighed. He wasn't entirely sure whether or not he wanted to tell them what had happened. Although a small part of him did want to gloat, it was vastly overwhelmed by how awkward and embarrassing everything had turned out to be.

James didn't reply immediately, just continued to stare up at the ceiling, then Peter said "What did you get up to then?" and he figured at the very least, telling them how he'd made a fool of himself might cheer James up and take his mind of Lily.

"Mary and I sort of slept together," he said, watching James carefully to gage his reaction.

It seemed to take a minute for this to sink in, but it was Remus who spoke first, catching Sirius' attention as he spluttered, "You did what now?"

"You heard me," he sighed, getting up from his bed and crossing the room to cram himself into the small space left on James'.

"It just sort of happened, one minute we were going to the kitchens and the next we were in an empty classroom."

James' eyebrows shot up. "Wow. Didn't know she liked you that much." At the look on Sirius' face, James grinned and clapped him on the shoulder. "Nice one though, Pads. How was it? You really did it in a _classroom_?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, then slunk down onto the bed, resting his head against James' pillow and almost pushing Peter off altogether. He could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on from the alcohol still left in his system. "It started off great, we were kissing and touching and all that but the actual sex was... Well. It wasn't up to much and then she kind of left."

"I didn't think things worked all that well down there when you're pissed anyway," Remus told him, looking tired and like he was trying his hardest to be supportive. "It's not the end of the world." Sirius blinked at him, and thought that at that moment, he would very much like to be asleep instead of having Remus staring at him with such a confusing expression on his face.

He just shrugged in response and James shifted beside him. "Don't stress about it, mate. You didn't want to date her or anything, right?"

"I guess not. I don't even really know her that well."

"Then no harm done. Just think of it as practice, yeah? Now you know better than the rest of us and you get to act like you're all experienced." He nudged Sirius in the side. "Come on, I bet by morning it won't seem to matter so much."

Sirius snorted. "Is that what you're telling yourself about Evans?"

"Basically," James said, pulling a face. "At least unlike you I won't have a massive hangover." He managed to roll over onto his side. "Now will you all bugger off to your own bloody beds. If I look like I've been up all night when we get to the station tomorrow Mum will have a right go."

"Oh now he needs sleep," Peter said as he slid of the edge of James' bed and crossed the room, "ten minutes ago it was 'hold me Wormtail, I'll never be the same again.'"

"No appreciation," Remus agreed solemnly.

Sirius didn't want to move, so James had to use his blanket as a weapon to wrap him up and shove him onto the floor, and by the time they were in their own beds, all four of them were trying not to laugh.

"At least we don't have to show our faces until after Christmas, eh Padfoot?"

Pulling his quilt up to his shoulders and closing his eyes, Sirius replied sleepily, "Yeah, maybe they'll have forgotten all about tonight by then."

"Almost certainly," James laughed, burying his head under his duvet and leaving Sirius to fall asleep to the sound of Peter's snores, and the ruffling of sheets as Remus tossed and turned in the bed next to him.

 


	12. Christmas Holidays

It was always hectic on the days when they were travelling back to London, and Sirius still felt slightly nauseous from last night's escapades. Usually, he missed all the fuss, choosing to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays rather than face his family, but a Christmas with the Potters was too good to pass up, and Sirius had been unable to refuse.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" he asked, already weighted down by his trunk and the rucksack that he was carrying.

Remus nodded in slight annoyance, having been asked that question for what must have been the hundredth time that week. "I'll be fine," he repeated, "have fun at James'."

"You know you could always come with," James called from the bottom of the stairs, an offer that Remus had already declined numerous times.

"I'm good here," he said, tucking a forgotten shirt into Sirius' trunk. "Go on, make sure you get everything sorted before you leave for the train. Where's Pete? I still need to say goodbye and give him his present."

"He was down in the common room earlier," Sirius replied as he went downstairs.

Remus followed and quickly spotted Peter playing a last game of gobstones. Before heading over, he turned to Sirius. He always hated saying goodbye for the holidays; it was needlessly awkward with half-hearted hugs and forceful pats on the back that always left him feeling more winded than missed.

"Bye then, Moony!" Sirius grinned, giving him a one-armed hug that caused his rucksack to swing dangerously close to Remus' head. "I'll send you some of James' mum's cooking when we get there."

"Don't eat her out of house and home," Remus replied.

Sirius just laughed and waved jovially as he headed over to where James was saying goodbye to the rest of the Quidditch team. He approached them eagerly and was already half way through a heartfelt goodbye to Kingsley before he noticed Mary's eyes upon him.

From the anxious looks on both their faces, it was clear that they had each been hoping to avoid the other until after the Christmas holidays, when the Slug Club party - or rather, what had happened immediately after it - would have hopefully seemed like a distant memory. Mary tugged her skirt down and smiled awkwardly at Sirius, though based on the fact that he only looked more worried, her smile probably wasn't all that convincing.

Mary cleared her throat meaningfully and took a few steps away from the rest of the Quidditch team, who were luckily distracted by the fact that Chloe had tackled Benjy in an enthusiastic bear hug and knocked him over. Sirius reluctantly followed her, determinedly avoiding her gaze. For a few moments they stood opposite each other, both apparently absorbed in staring at the worn carpet, until Mary finally spoke.

"Listen, about last night -"

"Yeah - that was - well."

"It was, er, nice, I guess," Mary said, blushing.

"Yeah," he agreed hesitantly. James had glanced over at him, but had thankfully been side-tracked with saying goodbye to Remus. Sirius looked at Mary thoughtfully. "You're very pretty," he said after a while - which was true, Mary had a great figure, and was someone Sirius enjoyed the company of. "Maybe we could talk or something, after Christmas?" he said, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

"Oh," Mary said. She met Sirius' gaze and bit her lip. "I'm - I'm really sorry, but I don't think that's a good idea. Not that you weren't, y'know, good or whatever. I just don't think it'll work out."

"Ah." Momentarily he was a little bit offended, then a small smile crept onto his face. "Really," he said, "I'm so glad you said that. I think we were maybe a bit drunk, and not that I don't like you but - yes, we should not do that again. Ever."

Mary visibly relaxed. "Thank god," she replied. "I thought for a second you really meant it and I'd just broken your heart or something." She grinned and added, "We can be friends though, right? I don't want us to be really awkward and avoid each other forever. I think Potter will kill us both if we spend the next match at opposite ends of the pitch."

"Definitely," Sirius agreed, feeling a wave a relief as Mary smiled and adjusted the hold-all at her feet. "Put it down to experience then."

"It certainly was an experience," Mary replied, raising her eyebrows. Then she leant forward and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. "And that concludes the end of our brief affair," she said with a smirk. "Have a good Christmas, Black."

"You too," he replied, turning to watch her wave goodbye to the others and head towards the portrait hole, "don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Or half the things you would," she called back, and with a final wink she left the common room to join the students gathering in the entrance hall.

* * *

It had been four days since the term had ended and everyone had gone home for the holidays - everyone except Remus that was. He'd never been the only one in the dorm before; most of the time if he wanted to be alone he went to the library, since in the dormitory someone would inevitably interrupt him every ten minutes to fetch some dungbombs or to find out if he wanted to play exploding snap.

Every Christmas before this one, Remus and Sirius had both stayed at Hogwarts together, each of them finding it easier not to go home. It was during the Christmas of their first year that they'd first grown close, after Sirius had become much too bored and lonely without James around and had convinced Remus to go exploring with him. Admittedly they'd had things thrown at them by Peeves and were nearly trapped inside a secret passage that led nowhere, but it was the first time Remus had felt like he'd been on an adventure.

Right now he was wishing someone was around to do something similarly stupid but fun with. He'd enjoyed the peace and quiet for the first couple of days, when he'd been able to read for several hours without anyone trying to float his book across the room. It was nice sitting in front of the fire in the common room, warm and cosy despite the snow coating the ground outside and the thin layer of ice on the lake. But now he was starting to miss his friends. He'd considered writing a letter to them, but Sirius deserved to have a happy Christmas with James' family and Remus didn't want to interrupt. He eventually started writing to Peter, but then realised he had nothing whatsoever to tell him and so ended up throwing the parchment into the fire.

Just as he was growing so restless that he considered going to see if dinner had been served in the Great Hall just for something to do, the portrait hole opened and Lily burst in. Remus had seen her around over the past few days, but they'd both kept to themselves so he was surprised when she stormed over to him, a piece of parchment in her hand and a frankly terrifying expression on her face.

"Do you know about this?" she demanded, shoving it under Remus' nose. He tentatively reached out to take it, but before he could Lily pulled back her arm and collapsed into the armchair next to him.

"Potter and Black think they can have whatever they want without consequences! Well it's ridiculous. Do you know about him and Mary? And then he just shrugs it off like it's nothing! She says she doesn't mind but your first time has to mean something, right?"

She folded her arms across her chest, breathing heavily. "Well?"

"Oh," Remus said, frowning. "Yeah I know about that."

She raised her eyebrows, clearly waiting for him to say more.

"Well I don't see the point in being mad at him," he continued. "I mean, he's technically an adult now and he can make his own choices and everything. Even if those choices involve lots of alcohol and things he regrets in the morning. Because apparently if he's left alone with anyone for five minutes at a party he just can't help himself." He scowled at the letter in Lily's hand. "And it was after a _teacher's_ party, of all things. Merlin knows _why_ he did it but it's not like he'd have listened even if he'd bothered to talk to anyone about it before rushing into things."

"You're pissed off," Lily remarked, feeling some of her own anger drain away. If Remus had known, she'd expected him to take the more casual approach that most boys did to sex. "I just don't understand how it happened. I mean how do you go to one party with someone and end up sleeping with them? Not that I'm judging -" she added hastily, "if Mary wants to sleep with people that fine but she's never really had a boyfriend before and no offence but Sirius Black wouldn't exactly be my first thought when it comes to people you'd trust to be intimate with."

Remus sighed. "If it makes you feel better, it was Sirius' first time too. And he seemed to be in shock when he got back so I don't think he really knew what he was doing - he definitely wasn't using her or whatever if that's what you're thinking."

"It had crossed my mind," Lily admitted. "Well, I suppose if they were both being idiots I can't blame Black completely. I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have come over to moan about your friend."

"Oh, it's fine, I appreciate that the need to complain about him is sometimes a strong one," he said. "Besides, I'm so used to people interrupting to tell me something Very Important that I was starting to miss it."

Lily was getting up to leave but she grinned, so Remus quickly added, "Uh, feel free to say no but do you want to do something? I'm incredibly bored."

"Actually, that sounds good. I've been doing far too much reading and homework. It's just plain wrong." She smiled at Remus and put Mary's letter and her bag down on the table - it wasn't like anyone was around to take them. "Have you ever been sledging on the grounds? A few of us made a sledge last winter and it works a treat."

"Er, no, every year I have refused to get in a sledge made by Sirius Black because it would probably lead to us both drowning in the lake. But I trust your sledge-making abilities a lot more, so that sounds fun."

"I'll be sure to remember that," Lily laughed. "I'll go and grab something warmer to put on and get the sledge, you might need to give me a hand getting it down the stairs though!"

She gave him a small wave before turning and taking the stairs up to the girls' dorm two at a time. After putting on her cloak and gloves and wrapping her scarf securely around her neck, Lily pulled the sledge out from where it had been shoved under her friend's bed.

"Remus?" She shouted down, "Are you at the bottom of the stairs? I'm going to start pushing it down."

"Hang on, I'll just come up and- agh!"

"Don't!" Lily shouted, but it was too late; before Remus was half way up the stairs, the steps beneath him magically transformed, turning into a slick slide. Remus looked at her, horrified, as he wobbled backwards, throwing out his arms to try and grab onto something but failing miserably. The sledge Lily was holding onto was suddenly heavy on the flat surface of what had been the stairs, and before she could pull it back up into the dorm, she lost her grip, sending the sledge flying down the stairs towards Remus, who had just landed in a heap in the archway to the common room.

"Look out!" Lily called to little avail, as she watched the heavy wooden contraption collide with Remus' leg.

Remus grabbed onto the banister and looked down at his leg as Lily half ran, half skidded down to him. As he pulled up his trouser leg, he was surprised to see that he wasn't bleeding, but the spot below his knee where the sledge had hit him was sore when he prodded it.

"Oh, shit," Lily said, kneeling down next to him. "Are you okay?"

She reached towards him but he quickly pulled away from her and tugged down the trouser leg again; he wasn't worried about her seeing the beginnings of the large bruise that was forming, but there were plenty of other scars he couldn't explain to her. "I'm fine," he reassured her as she helped him to his feet. "I've had worse, don't worry. It's my fault for forgetting about the stairs."

"I'm sorry anyway. Do you still want to go outside or-"

"Yeah, of course," he said, smiling. "I'm not so badly wounded that I can't sit on a sledge, I swear."

* * *

After he'd convinced Lily that he really was fine and put on several more layers of clothes to protect him from the cold and further bruises, Remus went outside with her. They found a steep slope leading down to a spot near Hagrid's hut, and Remus stood ankle-deep in the snow while Lily positioned the sledge and sat down on it.

"Give me a push will you?" She asked, grabbing the piece of rope attached to the front of the sledge. It was designed to give her some sort of control over the thing, not that it did much good.

Remus did as she asked, letting go of her right on the incline of the hill. Lily immediately gained speed, feeling the cold snow around her spraying over her clothes and face.

"Woo!" she called out, noticing as she sped towards flat ground that Hagrid had emerged from his house and was watching her with amusement. When she eventually came to a stop she waved at him happily, red in the face and grinning from the rush of energy.

"Your turn!" She shouted as she ran back up the hill towards Remus, pulling the sledge behind her. "Extra points if you do it with no hands!"

"And here I was thinking you were more sensible than my other friends," Remus said, taking the sledge from her.

"What kind of Gryffindor would I be if I wasn't sometimes a daring idiot?"

He laughed and sat down on the sledge. "Guess that makes me a one too, so I'd better accept your challenge."

Lily put her hands on his shoulders. "Ready?"

"Remember that if I die you have to do double prefect duties," Remus said, and before he could say go, Lily pushed him forward.

Just as she'd said, he let go of the rope once he'd picked up speed and hurtled towards the bottom of the slope at a slightly alarming pace, laughing as he hit the bottom and rolled off into the snow.

"Come back!" Lily shouted from the top of the hill, "I need to try that!"

They took turns on the sledge for the next half hour or so, both becoming more and more adventurous as it became apparent that the snow was a decent way to break their falls. It wasn't until Remus challenged Lily to go down the hill backwards, while standing on the sledge - and she agreed, fell, and rolled down the hill on her side - that they decided to call it a day.

"You alright?" Remus asked, rushing down the slope towards her as the sledge hurtled into Hagrid's fence.

"Fine!" Lily laughed, standing up and shrugging the snow off her cloak. "I'm sure if I tried again I could get it right."

"Hmm, I've heard that before," Remus said sceptically. "I think we're better off going inside to warm up - my hands and feet are freezing."

"Yeh can come sit by the fire and have a cup of tea with me if yeh need to get warm," said a booming voice behind them, and they both looked around to find Hagrid sticking his head out of his cabin door.

"Thanks, that sounds good," Remus said.

"Do you have any hot chocolate?" Lily asked hopefully as they left the sledge and followed Hagrid inside.

"Of course," Hagrid replied jollily, "jus' done a fresh batch of rock cakes too. Or Christmas cake if yeh'd prefer."

"I love Christmas cake," Remus said politely.

Lily attempted to catch his eye - having more experience with Hagrid's cooking than him, she felt inclined to warn him off the cakes. Then again, he had just been quite happy to watch her fall backwards into the snow, so maybe she'd let him have some.

She shrugged off her cloak and hung it by the door while Hagrid made room for them by the fire. When he put a pot of water on to boil, a small lizard scuttled out of the fireplace and ran under the table.

"Erm, what was that?" Remus asked.

"That's Smoky," Hagrid said cheerfully. "Perfectly friendly as long as he don' set yeh on fire – but that's only happened twice."

Amused by Remus' expression, Lily leant over and whispered, "This sort of thing happens a lot," before sitting down at the table and purposefully ignoring the cakes in front of her.

Remus sat down tentatively, lifting his feet off the ground in the hopes of not stepping on the very hot lizard. He reached for a slice of Christmas cake and immediately scowled as he bit into it.

Since Hagrid was still busy making the tea, he decisively put the cake back down and looked up at Lily to see her smirking at him.

"Good?" she asked innocently.

Before Remus could reply, Hagrid set three enormous mugs down on the table. "Drink up," he said, and Remus gratefully wrapped his hands around the steaming tea. It would wash away the taste of the Christmas cake nicely.


	13. Christmas Day

Christmas morning dawned cold and quiet. Although Remus had been spending a lot of time with Lily, it just didn't feel like Christmas without Sirius waking him up by chucking a snowball at him. Through the common room window he could see a scene that looked like it belonged on a Christmas card, with the frozen lake stretching out beneath him and snow painting the grass white; he hadn't touched the presents on the common room table because they would probably just make him miss everyone more. (And, of course, there was a distinct possibility that at least one of them would explode when he opened it.)

He was brought out of his musings when the portrait hole swung open and Lily stepped inside with a stack of toast in one hand and a tray of coffee and mince pies floating in front of her. She beamed at him and gently set the breakfast down on the table, moving his presents aside to make room. "Hey," Remus said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry eh?" Lily replied, eyeing him curiously. "I thought you were going more for brooding." She shook her head and stepped back from the table, gesturing vaguely toward herself she said, "do you like it? Mum and dad sent me this dress with some perfume and a hand carved jewellery box!"

Remus laughed as she spun once on the spot, causing the dark blue woollen dress to flare out slightly around her knees before she sat down beside him.

"It's pretty," he smiled, "and I'm not brooding, I was going for mysteriously tragic."

"Missed the mark and shot straight to doom and gloom I'm afraid; are you going to open them or not?" she prompted, reaching for a mince pie and handing Remus the nearest present as she did so. "It's Christmas, and I'll be damned if you're going to sit by the fire all day looking like a puppy someone abandoned on boxing day."

"Well, if you insist," Remus said, taking the present. It was very neatly wrapped and rectangular, which made it pretty obvious who it was from. "The Standard Book of Spells Grade 7," he read aloud as he tore off the wrapping paper and saw the title. "Peter always gets me text books and expects me to be thrilled."

"Don't let McGonagall hear that you're not absolutely ecstatic to get an early start on seventh year transfiguration," Lily replied, laughing. "But hey, he got you a bar of Honeydukes too."

"Marshmallow flavour – my favourite." Remus tore the wrapper open and offered her a piece. "Maybe Pete isn't so bad at giving presents after all."

"But it's still not the most exciting of presents," she said matter-of-factly, even though she was happy to eat it. "I hope your others aren't so boring or it'll be a very dull Christmas."

He raised an eyebrow and reached for a piece of toast. "Trust me, they won't be. James and Sirius give presents that are usually magical and often dangerous, but they're definitely never boring."

"As long as it's nothing that is an imminent fire hazard I think we'll be alright," Lily smiled, taking the spell book from Remus and putting it to one side. "You're one of those people who opens presents _neatly_ aren't you? This is very frustrating."

"Is this better?" he asked, ripping open the next present with some difficulty, as nearly every inch of the wrapping paper was covered in spellotape. It was a small present and Remus was somewhat wary about what was inside, but it turned but to just be a thin envelope. He took it out of the box suspiciously. "This is unexpected. It doesn't look big enough to explode."

"Open it then," Lily encouraged.

He did so, and inside was a glossy card that read:

_Your present will arrive promptly at 10.30am._

_His name is_ Sir Lancelot _._

_Happy Holidays._

Remus and Lily exchanged a look.

"That's in twenty minutes," he said, glancing at the clock.

"Have they sent you an actual Knight of the Round Table?" Lily asked. "Because that would be impressive."

"I'm kind of hoping so. Mum used to tell me stories about King Arthur and Camelot and everything all the time."

"I learnt about that in primary school," Lily said. "I liked Percival the best."

While they were waiting for the mysterious present to arrive, he pulled another closer to him. Beneath the paper was a cake tin, sealed so tightly that he had to pry it open with the flat end of the teaspoons Lily had brought up with the coffee. When he finally managed it, he found an enormous Christmas cake with a thick layer of icing, decorated with a lumpy snowman and a reindeer that looked suspiciously like Prongs. Written on the inside of the lid was a message wishing him Merry Christmas from Mr. and Mrs. Potter, with a P.S. that read 'James and Sirius helped with the decorating'.

"That explains why the snowman looks lopsided," Lily said, leaning closer to read the message. "Potter must have really nice parents."

"He does," Remus replied. "They have to be, to make up for ev - for Sirius' family," he corrected quickly.

Lily gave him a curious look. "What about your parents?" she asked. "You're an only child, right?"

"Yeah, it's just me and them. Mum's lovely, but she fusses over me a lot." He pointed towards his final present. "That'll be from her. I bet it's a jumper."

He opened it, and when he saw red wool he thought he was right, but when he tugged it free from its wrapping a scarf unravelled and a hat and gloves fell out onto the table. "Well, I wasn't far off," he said. "I reckon mum would knit all my clothes if she could."

"Did you stay at Hogwarts just to avoid being made to wear knitted trousers?" Lily asked, smiling.

Remus' smile faded. "If that were the worst problem, I'd go home. It's just...mum's been ill for the past few months, and it was bad enough stuck at home in the summer. It'd be worse at Christmas, with her having to stay in bed instead of cooking Christmas dinner and decorating the house with tinsel."

Lily squeezed his hand gently. "What about your dad? Is he taking care of her?"

He hesitated. "He's not exactly got the world's best bedside manner," he said carefully. "He gets...impatient. And he's kind of controlling. I tried to help look after her but I just seemed to be getting in his way... So all the more reason to stay here for Christmas."

"I'm sorry," Lily said, not really knowing what else to say.

"What about your family? Don't you normally go home for Christmas?" Remus asked.

It wasn't a subtle change of topic, but Lily took the hint that he didn't want to talk about his parents any more.

"My mum and dad are alright, and they're surprisingly okay with me being a witch. I think they're actually proud of me for it, which is sweet. But my sister gets jealous, you know, because I'm off learning magic in a castle and she just had to learn maths and stuff. We were best friends when we were little, but we sort of grew apart when I came to Hogwarts, and now it's like I barely know her. She's dating this absolute pig who thinks he's better than everyone - one of the types who thinks anyone different is inferior. So I guess it's no wonder him and Petunia get on so well," she said bitterly. "But I'm rambling. Point is, my family are staying with Petunia's boyfriend over Christmas - and his parents and sister who're all exactly like him. I don't think I could've put up with them without hexing someone and getting expelled for breaking the statute of secrecy. So me being here is better off for everyone. You included, as I bet you'd just sit here feeling sorry for yourself the whole time if I weren't here."

He grinned. "You're right, I think I'm so used to people who won't leave me alone that I actually missed it until you turned up and interrupted my peace and quiet."

"Oi," Lily said, chucking a mince pie at him. "You know you like me really."

"Hmm, I suppose."

There was a sharp tap at the window and they both looked up to see an owl perching on the ledge. Remus got up to open it, letting the owl flying in and land on the table. He reached eagerly for its' leg, expecting some sort of parcel, but there was only a small note.

_I am Sir Lancelot._

"They got me an owl," Remus said, surprised.

"Called Sir Lancelot," Lily pointed out.

"Well, this is definitely an improvement on the book they got me last year – it was called _The Monster Book of Monsters_ and it almost bit off my arm. It devoured three of my shoes before I finally caught it."

"Do you like to eat shoes, Sir Lancelot?" Lily cooed to the owl.

Sir Lancelot ruffled his feathers and looked at her disapprovingly before flying out of the window and up to the owlery.

* * *

By the time 4.30 came around Lily and Remus had managed to build up their appetites again after the healthy stock of mince pies they'd consumes that morning. Although staying at Hogwarts over Christmas could get a little boring, the decorations around the castle were always a sight to behold, and of course, the great hall was no exception. Candles floated down the centre of a single long table which was decorated with a green and red striped tablecloth, mistletoe hung conspicuously from the door and all twelve Christmas trees around the room were brightly lit and giving off a low, pleasant humming of popular Christmas carols. When Lily and Remus walked in, Dumbledore was seated at the head of the table, with a sprinkling of other students and staff occupying the other seats. Lily headed towards the nearest end, where a few fifth year Ravenclaws were sitting close by Professors McGonagall, who was nursing a large class of mulled wine, and Slughorn, who had enchanted his party hat to spin on top of his head.

"Happy Christmas Professors," Lily said as she sat down, nodding pleasantly at everyone nearby. As soon as she looked down at her plate, a sparkly silver Christmas cracker appeared, and her glass nearby filled with the same dark red liquid as her professors'.

"Crackers!" She held one out to Remus, who grabbed the other end and pulled back, watching in amusement as strings of confetti and glitter flew into the air around them before gently falling down and forming the perfect shape of a Christmas crown around Lily's head.

As a couple of Hufflepuffs who looked like third or fourth years took the final seats at the table, several large dishes of food appeared in front of them. There were bowls of mashed and roast potato, pots of vegetables, tureens of stew, plates of several types of meat, boats of gravy, and jars of cranberry sauce.

"Merry Christmas! Feel free to eat until you're ready to pop." Dumbledore called, and everyone reached for one of the large serving spoons to start heaping their plates with food.

"Carrots, professor?" Remus offered to Slughorn.

"Ah, thank you Mr - er - Lockwood, is it?"

"Lupin, sir," Remus said, his cheeks turning red.

"He's in the same class as me, Sir," Lily reminded him. "The one who melted a cauldron the other day."

"Oh yes, of course!" Slughorn said, taking a large swig of wine. "Very sorry, Ludwig."

Lily shot Remus a grin. "Are you having a good Christmas, Professor?"

"Certainly, Miss Evans! I received your Christmas card this morning - very kind of you I must say." It was Lily's turn to blush. "And one of my favourite students from a few years ago sent me a box of chocolates and a bottle of elf-made wine. Fantastic chap, very ambitious - works at the ministry now but always remembers his old potions master!"

Regretting that she'd asked, Lily interrupted before he could continue. "We've had a great day too, eating mince pies and opening presents."

"Excellent, excellent. And I expect you're enjoying having the common room to yourselves, eh?" he said with a wink. "I think I spied some mistletoe on the way in - I'm sure you'll take advantage of it!"

"Oh, no," Lily said quickly.

"We're not, you know," Remus added.

"-dating, or anything."

"Definitely not."

"No way."

"Never."

Slughorn chuckled. "I see, my mistake. But an easy one to make, don't you think?"

They were spared having to answer this both by McGonagall's muffled laughter and an owl swooping down to land on the table in front of them. It shook the snow from its feathers and held out its leg so Remus could untie the letter it was carrying. "That's James' owl," he said. Lily politely looked away as he took the letter but he held it out so they could read it together as the owl started pecking at Remus' peas.

_Moony,_

_HAPPY CHRISTMAS! Your present is my absolute favourite. Who knew that muggles could come up with such cool stuff? I've been watching the red blobs all morning but James' mum said I'd better stop before I went cross eyed or turned my brain to mush or something - she plied me with bacon and Christmas cake, but I assure you I will stare at it some more later!_

_I hope you liked your present, and his name. We will bring you a cage back after the hols – didn't want to ruin the surprise._

_James' parents got me and James the second coolest present of the year (after yours of course) – two-way mirrors! We didn't have a clue what they were at first but once Mr. Potter explained they're actually really good. All I have to do is say James' name into the mirror and as long as he's got his, we'll be able to see and talk to each other in them! We're already planning on using them next time we get detention. (I know you're frowning at me Moony, but I promise we have no rule-breaking plans as of yet – it's just an inevitability.)_

_James got me a box of dog treats, the git. I might mix them in with his Christmas dinner just for the hell of it. What do you think? He also got me a new beater's bat and a whole box of those sour toffees from Honeydukes, so I suppose I could let him off. On the topic of sweets, I can't stop eating! There's chocolate and fudge and cake and chestnuts and jelly and biscuits and cheese and an entire tray of cold meat in the kitchen - I'm not sure what half of it is but so far it has all been delicious. I need to stop before I burst though; I think by the time we've gotten round to the turkey I'll have the sweats and have to go to bed for the rest of the week._

_How is Hogwarts? Terribly quiet and boring without me I'm sure but, are you alright? Still hanging about with Evans? Either way I hope you are having fun and not missing me too horribly. I'm sending some of this cake before James (and by James I mean me) takes the last slice - last time I saw him he was weighed down with mulled wine and a carving knife - wait what's all that screaming?_

_Haha, only kidding Moony. Well, about the screaming anyway, but I really should go and see what everyone's up too. James' family always seems like the sort that could descend into drunken food fights at any moment. Which I would of course discourage and not jump into the middle of with a hand full of cranberry sauce._

_Have a good day!_

_Sirius ( & James)_

"I got him a lava lamp," Remus explained, smiling as he folded the letter.

"Pure bloods seem to be more fascinated by muggle technology than muggleborns are by magic," Lily laughed.

"Oh definitely," Remus agreed, "sometimes my dad is still blown away by simply gadgets and stuff mum shows him." He stopped for a minute, clearing his throat and pocketing the letter as James' owl stuck her head gratefully into the nearest beaker of water before taking off.

* * *

The rest of the dinner passed without incident, and by the time they were on the way back to the common room, Lily was feeling a pleasant glow from the small amount of alcohol, as well as fairly exhausted from the spectacular amount of turkey.

"I think McGonagall is going to have to carry Slughorn back to his room," Remus said dryly as he gratefully pushed open the portrait hole. The comfy sofas and warm fire looked more inviting than ever.

"Something tells me that tonight would not be the first time," Lily laughed, "I can't believe he suggested we," she held up her hands to put air quotes around the words, pulling a face as she did so, “'make use' of the empty common room - ew!"

"Oh god," Remus laughed. "You are lovely and everything, but no. Just... no."

"Wouldn't want to ruin our newly budding friendship with a rampant Christmas affair would we?" Lily grinned. "Though that would be quite the story to tell Potter."

"He would explode," Remus warned, just as a light tapping on the window indicated the arrival of yet another owl.

Lily jumped up to open the window, commenting with some amusement that they were particularly popular today.

Straining his neck to look back at her, Remus was about to reply, but the look on Lily's face as she stared down at the letter stopped him from doing so. "Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Erm," Lily replied, shaking her head slightly before she looked up at him. "Yeah, I guess so." She scrunched the letter up into a ball and shoved it in to her pocket as she walked back around to join him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Lily gave him a tight smile. "There's nothing to talk about. It's just Petunia... Well, at this point I'm surprised she even bothered to tell me."

Remus frowned, perplexed, and Lily added, "I'm going to head off to bed. I'm not really feeling the Christmas spirit anymore. Goodnight."

"Er - night," Remus replied as Lily hurried up the stairs to her dorm. As she shut the door behind her, he noticed that her eyes were red and full of tears. He was worried, and wondered what Lily's sister could have possibly said to upset her so much, but if she wanted to be alone there was nothing much he could do. But Lily had cheered him up that morning - with that in mind, he went up to his dorm and rummaged around in the trunk under his bed until he found his chocolate stash - hidden from Sirius, who would eat anything that wasn't nailed to the ground. He picked up a couple of chocolate frogs and attached a quick note:

'Chocolate always helps. If you want to talk, you know I'm here.'

Then he went back down to the common room for just long enough to levitate the frogs up the stairs to Lily's dorm. With any luck, she'd have heard them collide with the door to the dorm and would discover them soon. Maybe it would help - she'd been a good friend to him, after all, and he wanted to return the favour.


	14. New Year

Lily had been distant since receiving the letter on Christmas day. Remus mostly only saw her when they met in the common room or passed each other in the corridors. On New Year's Eve however, they found themselves the only two Gryffindors at the house table for dinner, so they sat together and talked pleasantly while they ate. Remus had tried to discreetly ask her about the letter and why it had upset her so much, but Lily quickly changed the topic and he didn't make any further attempts to question her.

On the way back to the common room, Remus was racking his brains to think of a safe topic of conversation; despite their entirely separate friendship circles, he'd spent enough time with her over their years at Hogwarts to know when she was feeling down.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" he asked eventually, as they waited for the stairs to move back in the direction of Gryffindor tower.

Lily shrugged. "Not really. I guess I might do the reading McGonagall set us."

"You're really going to do school work on New Year's?" Remus asked, thinking about the previous year when Sirius had dragged him to the clock tower and the twelve midnight chimes had been so loud they'd been unable to hear each other speak. "Do you want to come up to my dorm? I bet James has some alcohol left over that we can celebrate with."

"If you were anyone else, I'd think that was a cheap attempt to get into my pants," Lily replied, smiling despite herself.

"What? I –"

"I know," Lily laughed, patting Remus reassuringly on the arm as the stairs finally slid back into place, allowing them to continue towards Gryffindor Tower. "I suppose a night of drinking Potter's beer stash does sound preferable to transfiguration."

"I can assure you he will be suitably put out once he realises," Remus promised. "He thinks none of us know where it is, as if no one else ever goes in his wardrobe when Sirius wears his clothes half of the time anyway."

They made it to the common room and Lily looked at him, slightly bewildered, but shrugged and said, "Alright. Give me a minute to nip up to my dorm; I think there are a few bottles of butterbeer left from the last Quidditch party. Wouldn't want to let them go to waste."

"Of course not," Remus grinned, heading up the boys' staircase ahead of Lily in order to extract the alcohol in question from under the pile of old shirts at the bottom of James' cupboard.

* * *

 

There had been far more booze in the not-so-secret stash than Remus had anticipated, so they'd cheerfully worked their way through most of a bottle of firewhiskey before it was even 9pm. Lily had decided on a whim that she was going sleep in Remus' dorm, and it seemed strange for her to sleep in one of the boys' beds when she was barely even on speaking terms with them, so they'd hauled all the mattresses onto the floor and used hovering charms to get the quilts to hang over them like a roof. Remus thought it was a fairly successful fort, and sturdy enough that it didn't fall to pieces when they'd had a pillow fight.

They eventually settled down inside the fort with a bottle of butterbeer each and a bar of Honeydukes' chocolate between them. "I'm glad we're friends now," Lily announced. "Unlike c _ertain people_ we happen to know, we don't feel the need to shag the moment we get a little bit drunk."

Remus laughed. "That's definitely a good thing, I'm fairly sure James would kill me if that happened. Or at least put dung bombs under my pillow every night for the next two years."

"So that's how James handles his enemies?" Lily asked with a roll of her eyes. "I wish I could know about all his little schemes."

"You could just ask," Remus told her, half way between opening another bottle of beer and trying to locate his wand beneath their mountain of blankets.

"And how do I know you'd tell the truth, Lupin?" she asked. "You've lied to enough teachers, haven't you?"

"I prefer to think of it as creative misdirection," Remus smirked. "They never suspect the prefect."

"Hmm," Lily said suspiciously. "I know! We could play truth or dare, then you couldn't lie to me!" She had a slightly evil glint in her eye, a look that told Remus that she, unlike him, was not left in a cold sweat by embarrassing questions about her personal life. He sighed heavily, but he was happy and warm inside from the alcohol, and it was New Year's after all. He didn't imagine Lily would go around the school repeating anything he said to her.

"I'll go first!" Lily continued without waiting for a response from him, "dare!"

This dismayed Remus, as he was terrible at thinking of dares. His friends were more creative; James' dares usually involved doing something stupid on a broomstick, Peter's tended to have something to do with secret corridors and the invisibility cloak, and Sirius' were varied but always ridiculous and often dangerous. Remus, however, never had any ideas. "Uhm." He looked around the room for inspiration, and his gaze rested on the homework Sirius had left on his bedside table instead of taking it back to the Potters'. "I dare you to…leave a note reminding everyone about an important test, and sign it with McGonagall's name."

"That sounds suitably cruel," Lily grinned. Remus found her some parchment and a quill and she gleefully began writing.

_Mr. Potter,_

_Your work in transfiguration this term has been of an unsuitable standard for NEWT level. To prove that you are fit to continue in this course, you will take a test on the first day of term, so please be in my office at 9am. If you do not achieve over 75% in this test, I'm afraid I will have to remove you from the course; do take this seriously as it will affect your future career. You will need to revise thoroughly, so please do not waste your Christmas break._

_Wishing you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year,_

_Professor M. McGonagall_

Lily scribbled a signature that looked remarkably like that of their professor and held it up for Remus to read.

"I see you're determined to make James' life miserable," he noted.

"Alas, you have discovered my true calling." Lily grinned. "Your go: truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Let me think," Lily replied, absently offering Remus a handful of the cheese and onion crisps she'd found. "Okay, isn't it frustrating that James and Sirius are so joined at the hip?" she asked, thinking of Remus' earlier remark about them sharing clothes, not to mention James' worries about Sirius enjoying Christmas. "I mean, obviously they're friends but they act like a couple half the bloody time, and Black's spending Christmas over there like he's one of the family. Doesn't it get tiresome?"

"Not really," Remus shrugged, "besides, this is first time they've spent Christmas together since first year, and that's only because James' parents have taken Sirius in since he got disowned, so it makes sense that they'd want to spend Christmas together." He picked up his bottle and was about to take a sip when he froze. "Oh," he said. "Oh shit. You didn't know about Sirius. I wasn't meant to tell you that."

"I won't tell anyone," she assured him quickly. Frowning, she added, "I mean, I knew Sirius' family weren't the best of people. They're all Slytherins, right? And I've heard bad things about a couple of his cousins."

"If only it was just his cousins." Remus put down his drink. "His parents are…well, they hate Sirius for being who he is – a Gryffindor who doesn't care about whether or not you're pureblood and who values friendship over corrupt family. Sometimes I think it's amazing he turned out so – so good, you know? I know he's a dick sometimes but that's nothing compared to his family. James is the one who's all noble but it's easy enough to be a decent person when that's all you've ever known. Sirius was basically brought up to hate anyone who's not got a rich pureblood background, but he fights it. It doesn't matter whether someone is muggleborn or a – any other person wizarding society looks down on: Sirius stands up for people."

"Yeah," Lily said for lack of anything better to say. He was very earnest, and it made her feel a bit guilty for asking the question, "It's hard to dislike him when you say things like that. I'm already soft on one of you, if you make me like Black too I might just have to move schools."

"You don't actually hate any of us," Remus smiled, nudging her playfully in the shoulder. He felt a little awkward talking about Sirius' family without his knowledge, and trying to think of a lighter topic, he raised an eyebrow at her and asked, "So, Peter, Benjy and Kingsley – who would you shag, marry and throw off a cliff?"

* * *

"Right," Lily said much later. She was lying on her back staring up at the canopy of blankets, and pointed purposefully at Remus with the end of an empty bottle: "The giant squid, a house elf, or moaning myrtle."

"I think we've reached the point where this game is going too far," Remus laughed. He glanced at his watch. "And anyway, it's nearly midnight."

"Excellent." Lily crawled out of the fort to retrieve the bottle of wine they'd saved. "It's a pity this doesn't have a cork in – it's not quite the same as opening a bottle of champagne."

"But at least we won't break a window." As his watch ticked forward to the last minute of the year, Remus flicked his wand so that glowing gold numbers appeared in front of them, counting down from sixty.

"You ready for 1977?" Lily asked, pouring them each a glass of the elf-made wine.

Remus thought about the last year, and tried to dismiss the thought that many of the year's significant events had been negative: two weeks of awful exams, his mum getting ill, Sirius being disowned… This year, he'd start his seventh year at Hogwarts, the finality of which loomed over him. He tried to focus on all the good things the future year might hold: trips to Hogsmeade, the finishing of the marauder’s map and the long summer when James promised they would all go on holiday. "I hope so."

The count-down hit 10 seconds and they both joined in. "9…8…7…6"

Lily handed him a glass and they smiled at each other. "5…4…3…2…1"

"Happy New Year!" Remus said, holding out his glass so Lily could clink hers against it. They both drank, and Remus laughed as Lily downed her wine in one go.

She made a face as the cheap wine burnt her throat, and when she looked back at Remus he was pulling an equally appalled expression.

"I feel like 1977 is going to be my year," she said with a laugh, "we're almost done with school, and Madame Pomfrey said that when we start seventh year I can help out in the hospital wing, plus I have made a brand new friend," she grinned at Remus, and reached up to put her arms around his neck.

"You're drunk," Remus said helpfully, as they hugged amidst the laughter and newly filled glasses of wine.

"This is true," Lily replied, grinning at Remus with a hint of mischief. "So how about a New Year's kiss?"

"What?" Remus asked with wide eyes as Lily made a pouty face at him, complete with over the top kissing noises. "I thought we were the ones who didn't do that."

"It's tradition Remus, I should be offended."

"It's my personal tradition to not get killed by James," he replied, quietly moving backwards and almost tripping over their pillow fort. "I'm going to run away from you now."

"I'll have you know that at least two boys in our year would love to kiss me," Lily grinned as she hopped with surprising stealth over Sirius' bed in pursuit of him. "I'll catch you!"

"Ahhhhhh," Remus shouted, ducking behind Peter's wardrobe, "I'm being attacked! Help!"

"Attacked!?" Lily demanded when she eventually caught him, giggling in the corner and as far as he could fit under James bed. "I'll give you attacked." And with that, she set about tickling his feet.

"I will kill you," Remus said, out of breath. "You're evil! I'll report you to Dumbledore!"

Lily let him go, laughing as they both resumed a more comfortable position on the floor.

"Happy New Year, Remus." she said, unaware of the spilt wine, piles of blankets and half eaten food that littered the dorm. "It's not like anything more terrible than being kissed by me could possibly happen," she joked.

"I suppose you're right," Remus said jovially, and promptly hit her in the head with a nearby pillow.


	15. Back to Hogwarts

The journey back to Hogwarts after Christmas was always less exciting than it was at the end of the summer holidays. The Hogwarts Express took pretty much an entire day to reach the isolated Scottish highlands where the castle was hidden, and without a huge feast to look forward to it was really quite boring. Normally James and Peter were the only ones who'd gone home for the holidays so they generally had to fight to get a carriage to themselves, and then they spent the long hours playing exploding snap or wizards' chess. This time, however, Sirius was with them, and by the end of the journey four Slytherins had been hexed, one person's luggage had nearly been thrown out of the window, and no less than twelve people had promised to report them to their head of house: overall, not a bad start to the term.

What was far more unusual about the day was that, when the three of them had made it back to Gryffindor Tower, floating their suitcases up the stairs and narrowly avoiding knocking over a first year, they found their dormitory even messier than when they'd left.

"Er," James said, peering at the pillows, mattresses and blankets that had found their way onto the floor. Remus' books, parchment and clothes were normally kept to his own part of the room, but now they were haphazardly strewn over everyone's beds. "Did we get burgled or has Moony had a house party while we were gone?"

At this, Remus appeared in the doorway behind them and smiled. "Hey everyone, did you have a good Christmas?"

"Not as fun as yours by the looks of it," Sirius said, walking over to a collection of empty bottles by his bed and picking one up. "You had an entire bottle of firewhiskey?" he asked, sounding impressed.

"Oh, well yeah, sorry about the mess. I was just about to clean it up but-"

"Remus, I think I left my- Oh. They're back." Lily had been running up the stairs to the dorm with all the familiarity of someone who lived there, but when she saw the three of them she stopped abruptly.

"You mean this?" Remus asked, picking up what was undeniably Lily's skirt from the floor and handing it back to her.

"Yeah, thanks." She looked from Remus to James, who had gone alarmingly pale. "I'll just go then. See you, Remus." With a last wave over her shoulder, she left as hurriedly as she'd come.

There was a very long pause, until finally Peter said, "Moony, you might want to explain before Prongs literally explodes."

"Oh, she's been sleeping in here since New Year's. We made a pillow fort." He gestured to the mess on the floor. When James' expression continued to look strained, he added quickly, "It wasn't like _that_. We didn't – I mean – I would never do that. Not with _Lily._ I'm pretty sure there's some sort of friend code that you're not allowed to kiss people who your best friend has been in love with for five years."

James let out a sigh of relief, his hand going through his already-messy hair. "Right, of course you wouldn't." He grinned apologetically. "I just thought that because she and I fought at the Slug Club, she might want…"

"Revenge?" Remus suggested, smiling. "I wouldn't rule out that possibility."

James shrugged, giving Remus a friendly pat on the back as he sat down in what little space was left on his bed. Dumping his trunk on the floor, he spotted a slightly crumbled note on his bedside table.

"It's from McGonagall," he said, sounding alarmed. He scanned the note quickly, growing more concerned with each line. "Shit. She says I have to do a test? Because I'm failing? But I actually do homework for her! I can't be doing that badly, surely?"

"Maybe she's got the wrong person," Peter suggested weakly. He's had enough experience of being on McGonagall's bad side for low marks before he'd dropped transfiguration.

"Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that Moony is currently pissing himself," Sirius said, raising an eyebrow at Remus, who was laughing quietly into his hands.

"Moony," James said distrustfully, "Why is this funny?"

Remus attempted to compose himself. "I may possibly have dared Lily to write that. Honestly I completely forgot about it – we were a tad drunk at the time."

"Well thank fuck for that," James replied. He looked back at the note. "I'm actually impressed by how well Evans can forge a note. It could come in really handy! I wonder if since the two of you have been spending so much time together she'd –"

"Don't go there, Prongs," Sirius sighed, throwing an abandoned t-shirt towards his head. "Have you forgotten everything we talked about at Christmas? We've decided you're going to stop obsessing over her, remember?"

"I know!" James said, exasperated. "I'm just saying I'd like to actually try and be her friend."

Sirius scoffed, shaking his head at James, but Remus smiled and said, "That sounds like a good idea." Moving to the centre of the room he quickly started to mutter enchantments under his breath and with a flick of his wand sent the mess on the floor spiralling back to its rightful places.

"See," James smirked at Sirius and Peter, who had been partially trapped by his mattress as it tried to flop back onto the bed, "it's a good idea."

* * *

As usual when everyone returned from Christmas, the afternoon went by very quickly - they lazily unpacked their belongings and said hello to everyone who popped their head around the door to chat, ate too much for dinner in the great hall, and passed the evening playing gobstones and talking about how they'd all spent the break. Sirius happily told Remus and Peter about how, in the absence of snow down south, he and James had bought a few cans of whipped cream from a muggle supermarket and covered a section of the garden in it.

Most of the house didn't make it beyond midnight: even after being reunited with their friends, the exhaustion of the long journey, and undoubtedly the last minute Christmas pudding they'd been fed by kind grandparents before leaving, was enough to send most people to bed at a decent hour. Despite having his charms class at 9am the next morning, however, Sirius found that he couldn't get to sleep - unlike his friends, the long day seemed to have given him a renewed sense of energy, and the more he thought about how many hours of sleep he could manage if he fell asleep _right now,_ the more his brain happily buzzed on, apparently oblivious to the lateness of the hour. It had just gone 2am when he crawled out of bed and went down to the common room. Grabbing the half-finished marauders map on the way, he threw on the nearest cloak – it might have been his, or maybe Peter's – and tucked his wand into his pocket. If in doubt, Sirius thought, always go to the kitchens - a cup of tea and something to eat might be just what he needed to make him a little sleepier.

He was halfway to the portrait hole when a slightly muffled voice from the other side of the room caught him off guard.

"Going off for another late night shag?" Lily asked, as Sirius jumped and turned to face her. "Because as a prefect I have to object."

"What the hell, Evans?" Sirius replied, startled. She was tucked up in the windowsill, sitting on one of the cushions from the sofa with her legs crossed in front of her. "Firstly, no that is not what I'm doing, and secondly, doesn't your perfecting also decree that you should be asleep by now? Or at least not scaring the crap out of people."

Lily frowned. "I couldn't sleep."

"Got too used to sleeping on the floor with Remus?" Abandoning all thoughts of the kitchens, Sirius strode across the room and perched next to her on the windowsill. "I can see the appeal. We tried to go camping on the grounds one Christmas but he just moaned about his feet turning blue – it's not as if I'd have let him get hypothermia."

Lily shuffled to the side so he'd have more room - or possibly just to get further away from him - and once Sirius could see her up close he noticed that her eyes looked red and strained. "You alright, Evans?"

"Of course." She crossed her arms over chest. It was strange for any of the Gryffindor boys to ask how she was, let alone Sirius Black. But then again, Remus had turned out to be a far better person and friend than she ever would have expected. "It's just... Did Remus say anything to you about me?"

"Don't tell me you really _did_ sleep with him?"

"Oh yeah, every night. Sometimes twice." She sighed; she was too tired for sarcasm, really. "I meant, did he say anything about me being upset?"

Sirius shook his head. "Remus can keep a secret." He paused. "So can I, for that matter."

Lily looked at him sceptically, but she was too tired and had gone too long without telling anyone to show much restraint. "I got a letter on Christmas Day from my sister," she said quietly. "I didn't want to show it to anyone because it felt too private but I just can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me mad." She didn't look at him as she handed him a letter that was crinkled from repeated re-readings. He smoothed it flat on his knee and looked down at the scrawled writing.

_Lily,_

_Mum insisted I write to tell you my big news, since you weren't here for the announcement at dinner. She's even getting me to send it with your owl because that school of yours doesn't have a normal postal service. I'm sure you'll be as excited as Mum and Dad to hear that Vernon proposed to me, and I said yes, of course; aren't I lucky to have such a successful fiancé? He's recently inherited his father's drill business so as soon as we're married we'll be moving to Surrey where the company is based. We'll be able to afford a lovely home there thanks to Vernon. The wedding will be in July._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Petunia Evans (soon to be Dursley)_

"It take it this isn't good news?" Sirius asked, handing the letter back to Lily. He wasn't exactly an expert at family relationships, but the letter seemed awfully formal and cold considering it had come from her sister.

"I want to be happy for her," Lily said, "But you'd know how I feel if you'd met her future husband. He's a complete pig - so smug and he thinks he's superior to anyone who doesn't have a fancy new car and a job with a fat paycheck. It's like Petunia wants the exact opposite of my life - I'm learning magic and she's chosen the most mundane, safe, boring middle-class life you could ask for. And the way she talks about him, like saying that he's 'a successful fiancé', it makes me think she doesn't even love him. If she did, maybe all the rest could be excusable, but surely she'll never be happy like this."

"Can't you tell her all that?" Sirius suggested. "Maybe she'd see things straight if you talked to her."

She shook her head. "You read the letter. We used to tell each other everything but now it's like I barely know her. She'd never listen to me."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. The cloak he'd picked up definitely wasn't his, and the too short material on his legs was irritating and scratchy. He wasn't exactly good at this - the whole comforting people thing, especially when he and Lily weren't even friends. It was simple with James, who he could punch on the arm and cheer up with a stupid joke, but he didn't think that would work quite as well on Lily.

"It's not your fault," he said at last. "If there's nothing you can do, it's not your fault."

"She was always jealous of the magic," Lily said, shaking her head, "if I'd just -"

"That's not how it works." Sirius argued. "Did you shove it in her face, or laugh at her because she's a muggle?"

"No!" Lily said, affronted. "Of course not!"

"Exactly," Sirius replied, not looking at her. "Me and my brother Regulus were really close when we were kids. I quite liked being a big brother, you know, looking out for him and stuff. But all of that changed when I started school. For a long time I thought it was my fault for not protecting him from the stupid pureblood ideas our family is mad on, but he's not a child any more, and neither is your sister. Sometimes people make bad decisions and you just have to live with it."

Lily didn't say anything for a while, and when Sirius eventually turned to look at her he saw a tear slip down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away with the back of her hand. "Thanks," she said. "I needed to hear that."

"No problem, Evans," he replied. "What am I here for if not dramatic heart-to-hearts at half two in the morning?"

She laughed. "You know what? You're alright, Black."

"You're not so bad yourself."

She hopped off the windowsill, her bare feet sinking into the thick rug covering the floor. "I think I can probably sleep now, so goodnight - and thanks again."

"You sure you don't want to join me for a trip to the kitchens? The house elves are really very accommodating."

"Oh, I'm well acquainted with them. They always make excellent scones."

Leaving Sirius to ponder whether or not she'd been joking, she headed back to her dormitory, but just as she reached the top of the stairs, he called, "Hey, Evans?"

She turned back and leant over the banister to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Better not tell James about this conversation. He's already got his knickers in a twist about you and Remus."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, our secret is safe. I'll go back to telling McGonagall about your pranks and making sarcastic comments about your potion making skills in the morning."

He grinned. "Night, Evans."

"Night, Black."


	16. Furry Little Problem

Remus had been thinking about it for a couple of weeks now. As the four of them descended the many stairs between the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom and the Great Hall for lunch, he thought about it a little more, and despite the knot in his stomach, came to a decision. The corridors were bustling with the hustle of other people travelling to and from classes, and even though they'd chosen a different route to the main staircase it was still easy for them to be overheard, so when he addressed his friends, he spoke in a low voice. "I've been thinking," he said, "since it's nearly time for - y'know -"

"Your furry little problem?" James suggested.

Remus smiled. "Yeah, that. I was wondering whether I should tell Lily about it."

James, Sirius and Peter all stopped walking at the exact same moment, as though they'd practised their reaction. "What?" James said. "Why?"

They were blocking the stairs, and Remus had to step aside to let an annoyed-looking seventh year past. "Well we spent a lot of time together at Christmas and I think of her as a friend now. It feels like I'm lying to her."

"But what if she tells someone?" Peter asked.

Remus shrugged, "I know it's a risk and I panicked a bit when you all found out, but I don't think Lily would tell anyone."

"She won't," Sirius said unexpectedly. "I'm sure she can keep a secret."

James shot him a curious look, but he nodded. "It seems weird because it's been our secret forever, but if you want to – I mean, you can trust her, I think. And it's not something you should even have to hide in the first place," he said forcefully, "so if you want to tell her then you should." He started walking again, putting an arm around Remus' shoulders and dragging him with him. "And if you happened to want to mention what a supportive friend I've been all these years..." Sirius hit him on the arm and he grinned. "Kidding. But seriously, I'm glad you've got her as a friend."

Remus smiled. "So am I. I guess I'll tell her tonight then, when we have prefect duty."

He must've sounded nervous because Sirius put in, "I'm sure it'll be fine, Moony. If you can handle turning into a" - he paused as a group of second-year Hufflepuffs walked past - "you know what, then you can definitely cope with telling Evans about it."

* * *

As January continued in a haze of bad weather and homework, Lily started to feel better about her relationship with Petunia. All hope couldn't be lost, since she was invited to the wedding, and what Sirius said to her had, surprisingly, made her feel a lot better. But she was tired by the time prefect duty rolled around that evening and wished the weekend was closer.

She and Remus were up on the top floors that evening, and had both been surprised to find the Astronomy Tower deserted, as it was a popular place for mischief-makers and overly affectionate couples alike.

"You're quiet tonight," Lily said as they made their way back down the narrow staircase. "Is everything alright?"

It was almost 10.30, and outside the windows the grounds were completely blanketed in darkness, giving the long candle-lit hallways a slightly eerie glow. When Remus stopped walking and sat down on a nearby window ledge with a heavy sort of finality, Lily started to get worried. "I'll take that as a no then," she said and went to sit down beside him.

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Okay..." Lily said slowly. To fill the heavy silence while Remus tried to figure out what exactly to say, she asked blindly, "Have Sirius and Mary slept together again? Are you secretly in love with me? Did you set a niffler loose in my dorm?"

"If you don't want to be friends with me after I tell you this, I'll understand," Remus interrupted. He tapped his knuckles nervously and looked at Lily quickly to see her expression; she looked concerned.

"Remus, considering what you lot get up to on a daily basis, I can't imagine what you could have done that would make me hate you," she said gently. "You can tell me anything."

"It's not exactly something that _happened_ , it's more something I _am_ , or was turned into anyway."

Lily just shook her head, not understanding. "Remus..."

"I'm a werewolf." He blurted out the words and immediately got to his feet, fighting the urge to run away before she could react. This was a mistake. She'd hate him, or she'd tell everyone so the whole school would avoid him. How could he have ever thought he could just tell someone like that? A few months ago they'd barely even known each other…

Lily stared at him as he anxiously moved from foot to foot in front of her, refusing to meet her gaze. A werewolf? She hadn't expected that. Her brain quickly ran through any instances that could have indicated it, and she realised with a jab of horror that it did explain a few things – Remus' absences from class for one, coupled with the fact that he often looked tired and unwell. Lily had always just assumed he was prone to accidents, or had a particularly weak immune system.

She should say something, Lily realised, as Remus started to look extremely tense. But how do you respond to a bombshell like that? They'd studied werewolves last year, and Lily had been annoyed that the professor had glossed over the fact that many of them were bitten as children, and went to great lengths to protect the people around them during a full moon. She said as much in her essay, and the begrudging 'Acceptable' she'd received in return was a testament to the prejudice she knew Remus must be afraid of. Lily had grown up in the muggle world though, and although werewolves were often the villains of a fairytale, she didn't have any of the inherent prejudice that a lot of purebloods surely would about them.

"It's okay," she said at last, and not knowing what else to do, she stood up and wrapped her arms around him.

Remus froze for a second, before she felt him relax slightly, and when she drew back, he looked away sheepishly with red eyes.

"I'm sorry," Lily said. "I'm sure this is hard for you to talk about, but can I… ask you a few things?"

"Okay," he said warily. "I guess you only know what we were taught in Defence, so… what do you want to know?"

He was expecting her to ask if he was dangerous, where he transformed every month, whether he'd ever scratched or bitten everyone, what the transformations were like; instead, she simply asked, "Who else knows?"

Remus smiled wryly and realised that he really hadn't had a lot of experience with taking to people about this; his closest friends were all now familiar enough with his condition that they never worried about it - though they certainly worried about _him_ \- and so the only people who asked him questions like that were St Mungo's healers and his father.

"James, Sirius and Peter all know. They figured it out in second year." He almost added that they'd become animagi to help him, but that wasn't his secret to share.

"That's good," Lily said reassuringly. Suddenly Remus' unwavering loyalty to his friends made a lot more sense. "What about the teachers? Obviously I'm not going to tell anyone, but does Madame Pomfrey help you? How -" She stopped, not quite knowing how to phrase what she wanted to ask, then she said quietly, "How did this even happen, Remus? You're sixteen. I don't understand -"

He looked down at the floor, frowning. "Madam Pomfrey knows. So do McGonagall and Dumbledore." It took him several moments to compose himself before he continued, staring resolutely at the floor and keeping his voice as even as he could manage. This was not a story he'd told often, but every time he did it was a struggle not to sink into the memory, to be captured by the pain and fear he'd felt back then. Lily took his hand and squeezed it, grounding himself in the present. "Have you ever heard of Fenrir Greyback?"

She nodded, her eyes widening. "Yes, but just a rumour - that he bites children and he's more savage than human... There were rumours in the paper I think, that he's been working with dark wizards too."

"That's all true enough," Remus said quietly. "He thinks werewolves are superior to other wizards and should be able to, I don't know, do what they want. If anyone disagrees with him, he..." He swallowed and closed his eyes. It was easier to talk when he couldn't see Lily's anxious, pale face in front of him. "Years ago, my father spoke about werewolves at a Ministry conference. He said they deserved to die - to be put down like animals. Greyback wanted to punish him for that, so he bit me. I lost so much blood that I nearly died, but my parents got me to St Mungo's in time and they managed to save me. There was nothing they could do about the lycanthropy," he added bitterly, "nine times out of ten a werewolf bite passes on the condition. I wasn't one of the lucky few."

"Oh, Remus..."

He pulled his hand away and wiped his eyes viciously. His voice was harsh and shaking. "The first thing I remember after the attack is waking up in hospital with my parents standing over me. My mum was crying and hugging me, but my father just looked...disappointed. Because a monster like me shouldn't have lived." A tear escaped and slid stubbornly down his nose until it dripped onto his robes. "I was six."

Six. Lily felt like crying too, but she managed, for Remus' sake, to hold herself together. It was a difficult story to respond to and not a position she could ever imagine being in herself.

"I, for one," she found herself saying after a second, "am so glad you lived."

Remus stifled a laugh, and looked around at her with teary eyes and a small smile. "Thanks," he said without much conviction, then stood up again, physically shaking himself and taking a long, steadying breath. "We should get back to the common room. It's gone 11pm."

Lily nodded and stood up too, acknowledging that he didn't want to dwell anymore on the subject that evening. After doing another quick sweep of the top floor and ordering some rogue third years back to their dormitories, they walked back in companionable silence, and Remus seemed much more composed by the time they were climbing through the portrait hole.

As was usual when they got back from patrolling, the common room was almost empty, but what was not usual was that James, Sirius and Peter were sitting at a nearby table, watching them expectantly.

"Everything alright, you two?" James asked rather obviously when they got close enough.

"Yeah," Remus nodded, too tired after their conversation to say much more. "I'm going to head up to the dorm."

James looked concerned, and all three boys rose to follow him, staring suspiciously at Lily as they passed. She ignored them, still feeling a little in shock herself, and headed towards the stairs to the girls' dorm, wondering if she had time to take a shower before going to bed. The only thing that stopped her was James' voice behind her, low and anxious.

"Hey Evans, wait a minute." He dashed over, blocking her way. After clearing his throat, he said, "Remus told you about his...condition?"

"Yes," Lily said, aware that there were still a few other people in the common room who could potentially overhear them.

"And?" James prompted. Lily had rarely seen him with such a serious expression on his face, and she realised that, for all his flirting and the embarrassing Valentine's he'd sent her over the years, nothing he felt about her would matter if she wasn't supportive of Remus.

"He’s my friend," Lily said simply, "it's awful, but I don't think any less of him."

Relieved, James smiled. "That's what I thought. You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"Of course not." Lily clarified.

"Of course not," he repeated. "I know you're not like that, I just needed to check, you know? For Remus."

"You're a good friend," Lily said, with a slight smile. She saw now that he was always protective of the people he cared about, and she understood why he had punched Snape in her defence at the Slug Club. That didn’t make his actions any less annoying, but at least now she realised he hadn’t just done it because she was a girl or incapable of standing up for herself. He really had meant to help. "I'm going to bed now. Goodnight, James."

"Right. See you tomorrow, Lily."

They each went up to their dorms, and when James reached his he found the three of them already in their pyjamas, which in Sirius' case consisted of a pair of boxers and nothing else.

"I talked to Lily," James said tentatively. "It sounds like it went well. She's not going to tell anyone."

Remus just crawled into bed, pulling the curtains shut around him.

James looked to Sirius in confusion.

"Prongs," Sirius said, with all the dignity that someone with small broomsticks on their underwear possibly could, "Remus has had a long and stressful night. If he doesn't get his rest it is highly probable that he will hex us all in our sleep."

"Ah," James said. "Time for bed then. And I'm sure tomorrow will hold far less traumatic but still slightly stressful things such as trying to transfigure a badger into a hat at 9 in the morning."

He heard Remus' muffled laugh, followed by, "Go to sleep, Prongs," from behind the curtains.

James grabbed his pyjamas from where he'd left them lying on the floor and climbed onto his bed. "Night, Moony," he said, and with a whispered "nox" he cast the room into darkness.


	17. Birthdays

As had happened far too often for James' liking, he was woken up on the morning of his seventeenth birthday by a large black dog jumping onto his bed and licking his face.

"I thought adulthood was meant to come with some sort of dignity," James grumbled, wiping the saliva off himself with the back of his hand then reaching for his glasses.

"Nope, just more responsibility and the pressure to have a stable career," Remus replied cheerfully.

"Neither of which we're any good at," Peter added.

"On the plus side, now we can all legally drink! Happy birthday, Prongs." Sirius plonked a poorly wrapped, bottle-shaped present on James' bed and he tore off the wrapping paper to find a very fancy-looking bottle of mead. "It's from all of us - present number one of two."

He examined the bottle and whistled. "Thanks guys."

"I just had a strange premonition of you growing up to become Professor Slughorn," Sirius said.

Remus smiled. "Good job you dropped potions then, James."

"Well you know, if I had to have one thing in common with him, an appreciation for a good bottle of mead is not the worst. Please tell me the second present is alcohol too?"

"As soon as we get to the Three Broomsticks, the first round of firewhiskey is on me," Sirius replied. "But there's this, too."

He lobbed a round parcel at James, wrapped in about three layers of spellotape so James had to actually tap it with his wand to get it open. "A quaffle?"

"Turn it over," Remus encouraged.

James did, and his eyes widened. "A quaffle signed by _Chavelle Arbelo Cartaya_?!"

"It was in Quality Quidditch supplies over summer," Peter said. "We couldn't let anyone else get their hands on it, could we?"

"We nearly gave it to you for Christmas but it seemed more fitting for us to all be together," Remus said, smiling.

"This is officially the greatest present of all time," James announced, jumping off his bed and reverently putting the quaffle down on his bedside table.

"And the greatest birthday of all time once we've got you drunk enough," Sirius grinned. "Now hurry up, just because it's your seventeenth doesn't mean McGonagall won't be pissed if we're not ready to leave at 11 with everyone else."

* * *

"Who's ready to get drunk by midday?" Sirius said loudly, returning from the Three Broomsticks' bar after charming his way into a discount on the excessive amount of firewhiskey he'd just bought. He put the tray of drinks down in the middle of the large booth where the twelve of them - mostly consisting of the Quidditch team and a few friends Mary and Lily had brought along – had squeezed in.

James laughed and grabbed a drink, downing it in one. He was handed another before anyone else had even finished their first. "Here, Remus, you'd better be getting drunk too – this is your birthday celebration as well – just a bit late."

"Yeah, you deserve it after having to go to lessons on your actual birthday!" Peter said. "It's annoying that we can't just go to Hogsmeade whenever we like."

Remus laughed. "Can you imagine telling McGonagall that we'd missed transfiguration to go get drunk on my birthday?"

"She would not be impressed," Mary agreed. "She'd probably convince Rosmerta to never serve you drinks again."

"Well now that James is old enough to take his apparition test the world is our oyster, we can go and terrorise bars all around the country!" Sirius grinned at Remus, who looked worried at the prospect.

"If you splinch yourself while trying to apparate when you're hammered I won't be the one sitting in St. Mungo's with you all night."

Lily laughed at that very real possibility and leant across the table from where she was sitting. "Remus, I know it's a bit late, but I have a birthday present for you." She smiled and extracted herself from the table. "I left it in my bag, in the cloakroom – come on."

Remus followed her out of the room, with James squinting at their backs suspiciously. "So what is it?" he said as the door closed behind them.

"I charmed it myself," she said, smiling nervously and handing him a small wrapped box. "I was thinking of a way to help ever since you told me about your lycanthropy – that's why it's late."

He opened it up and peered curiously at a small contraption made of what at first looked like different sized marbles, but when he picked it up he realised it was a model of the solar system, with eight planets orbiting the sun and lots of tiny moons circling the planets.

"You need to tap it with your wand," Lily added. She was watching his confused expression warily.

He prodded the sun with his wand. Immediately, it flew upwards and expanded until it was a metre wide, with each and every planet and moon rising up to hover around it. It wasn't until the sun began to give off warm orange light that Remus began to realise why Lily had made this for him. The earth was about the size of a quaffle and next to it was the moon, roughly snitch-sized, but only a small section of it was lit up. A crescent moon, just like it would be that night.

"Oh," he said softly. "Wow. Thanks, Lily."

"It was quite fun to make really," she smiled. "I'm just glad you like it. I didn't want to overstep or anything."

"You didn't," Remus assured her.

"Great," Lily said, flicking her own wand so that the model shrunk back down to a reasonable size. "Come on then, I'll get us both a glass of wine."

Remus tucked the gift carefully into his pocket and they went back out into the pub where everyone was talking animatedly at the table. Lily noticed that a few of the other patrons were giving the group dirty looks as they loudly laughed and talked over each other, but she didn't want to tell them to be quiet when everyone was clearly having a good time.

"What did you give him?" James asked Lily as Remus slid back into his seat.

"A handjob in the back," she replied dryly.

James grinned. "You got something for me as well then?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Sure, I'll get you a drink. I'm getting one for Remus anyway so come and help me carry everything."

Sirius elbowed him in the ribs and winked, which Lily pretended not to see. They went over to Rosmerta together and Lily asked for elf-made wine for her and Remus.

"What do you want?" she asked James, who thought she had never asked him that question in a tone that wasn't full of annoyance.

"A beer, please," he replied, trying to casually lean on the bar and managing to put his elbow in a small puddle of a spilled drink. "Is this a peace drink? Are we friends now?" he asked as he was handed his beer.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I suppose," she said. "Even though you were an idiot at the Slug Club, you’re not always like that.”

"Thanks, I think," James said, casting a look back at his table of friends. "Sirius and Mary seem to have got past the awkwardness," he commented.

"Yes," Lily agreed. "It was getting a bit painful when I was put in a group with them in potions."

"Never would have thought we'd all get along so well," James laughed. "Nothing like a celebration of my new found maturity to bring everyone together."

"Maturity is a bit of a stretch," Lily said, "but you're getting there."

* * *

"James," Sirius said, while supporting the bodyweight of said friend on one shoulder as they made their way back from Hogsmeade. For the first time ever, he was in the position of being the least drunk of the four of them and he was not particularly enjoying the experience. "How are we supposed to think of decent April fools pranks when you're in this state?"

"I am the prank master," James said with a flourish that nearly knocked them both over. "Do not doubt my pranking… prankiness."

"He has a point," Remus agreed, appearing on Sirius' other side. "He is good at the pranking. Ha, remember that time when – hahaha." Remus broke off into somewhat hysterical drunken laughter, holding his stomach as he staggered along the path behind them. They must have been the last students left in the village, and were in danger of being late back to the castle.

"I remember that!" James shouted, "see Pads, Remus knows how it is."

"I don't think," Peter put in, from somewhere behind Sirius – he was a little inebriated himself, and wasn't sure exactly where any of them were – "that either of you know anything."

"Quite right," Sirius agreed. "Now, James. One foot in front of the other – there you go – we'll be back in no time."

* * *

McGonagall was enjoying a steaming cup of coffee – her first of the day in fact, since it was the weekend and she didn't have to put up with any teenagers. She was on her way to Dumbledore's office for a nice chat about the latest edition of _Witch Weekly_ when she had the misfortune of walking through the entrance hall just as four notorious Gryffindors stumbled through the front doors.

"Professor!" James said enthusiastically, detaching himself from Sirius and Peter and staggering over to her. "It's my birthday, you know!" he announced, with a grand gesture that knocked McGonagall's coffee right out of her hand and onto the floor.

She looked at him with undisguised exasperation. "Sometimes I wish we didn't allow trips to Hogsmeade," she sighed.

James, a horrified expression on his face, began drunkenly trying to perform a reparo spell to fix the broken mug. McGonagall thought she should probably tell them off for coming back to school drunk, but she’d seen enough students turn seventeen to expect their drunkenness by now, and she wasn’t in the mood to berate then,

Thinking it was about time to intervene, Remus stepped forward, "Now, now, Professor," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She was quite surprised to notice how much taller than her he had grown. "It was really quite sensible of us to get extremely – er – hammered today. We c _ould_ have snuck out on my birthday, you see, but we decided to be responsible students – as usual – and not turn up to your lesson with massive hangovers."

"Very considerate of you, Mr Lupin." She waved her wand at the mug James still hadn't managed to repair and it flew into her hand in one piece, though sadly it was now empty. She was beginning to think her next drink ought to be something a little stronger. "Now I have somewhere very important to be so I'll leave the four of you to find your way to the common room by yourselves. Please try to remember that it's on the seventh floor."

"Very good, Professor!" Sirius said, more loudly than was strictly necessary. "Have a nice evening. I'll escort my fellow drunken idiots back to the Grinnif – Griffor - to the common room."

"I wish you luck," McGonagall said, starting to walk away before they could say anything else. "Happy birthday, Mr Potter."


	18. April Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're probably not as good at thinking of pranks as the marauders were...

" _Right men, you all know your positions," James said as the four of them stood huddled in a circle. Sirius and Remus were wearing clothes that didn't belong to them, Peter was holding a bottle of the potion they'd finished brewing the day before, and James had been up all night preparing so his hair was messier than usual. "We've been through a lot together. Our sixth year of pranking. We have a name to live up to – future generations will talk about the marauder pranks of '77. Months of planning have gone into this-"_

" _We came up with this idea four days ago," Remus corrected. "The only thing we actually prepared in advance was the polyjuice."_

" _-and it all comes down to today. This is the day we become legends."_

* * *

Ever since Slughorn had mentioned polyjuice potion in one of their lessons, Sirius had filed the knowledge away as potential pranking material. It had taken a whole month to brew, not to mention all the trouble they'd had collecting the ingredients – especially the hairs.

There had then been a great deal of haphazard last-minute preparation over the course of the day. They'd needed to steal three sets of robes, one for each of the other houses, take four strands of hair from unsuspecting students and one teacher, and – worst of all – had needed to make sure that the four people they were transforming into wouldn't be around to get in their way.

They'd pulled a few minor pranks earlier in the day to lull everyone into a false sense of security by thinking they'd used up all their tricks: Peter set off a few Filibuster fireworks at breakfast, James transfigured a student into a rabbit in class, every bird in the owlery was scared away when a big black dog started barking at them, and – entirely by accident – Remus blew up yet another cauldron in potions. But now it was time for the biggest prank of all.

Just before dinner, in an empty classroom on the fourth floor, they changed into the appropriate robes, added the hairs to the polyjuice potion, and downed the glasses of disgusting liquid, each only drinking half of what the potions book had suggested since they wouldn't need to spend long in disguise – just enough time to cause a little chaos.

James, Sirius and Peter were all used to transforming by now. Compared to their bodies changing into an entirely different animal in under a second, it was really quite simple to become a different person. Remus, too, had had plenty of practice, but he was used to the agonising pain and to losing himself part way through the transformation: this wasn't like that. It was painless, if slightly uncomfortable, and even though he was shorter, his hair was a little longer, and he'd acquired breasts, he still felt like _him_. He looked different, but he was still Remus.

"Blimey," Sirius said, looking down at himself. "So this is what it's like to be a Slytherin. I always wondered what I'd be like if I was like the rest of my family. I can feel myself becoming more of a git already."

"Nah, that's just the power of the prank masters corrupting you," James said.

"And I doubt being a Slytherin would have given you blond hair and unnecessarily high cheekbones," Remus added.

"I think my cheekbones are extremely distinguished as it is."

"Your cheekbones are astounding, Padfoot, but shouldn't we get a move on?" Peter said. "We've only got about half an hour."

_"Right you are, Wormtail," James said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Let's do this."  
_

* * *

Remus was really not used to being a girl. His voice sounded too high and his legs were much shorter so he was walking far slower than he thought he ought to be. Still, it didn't take long to get up to Ravenclaw tower, and then the only obstacle was the riddle he needed to answer to get into the common room. It was a good thing they already knew about the bronze knocker’s riddles, thanks to James trying to sabotage the Quidditch team in second year and failing miserably to get past the hallway. If they hadn't known, it could have been any of the four of them who went to Ravenclaw Tower, and they were all very much in agreement that only Remus stood a chance at answering it.

"Er," he said when he'd climbed the spiral staircase and stood facing the large door with an eagle-shaped knocker. "I'd like to go in?"

The eagle's gold mouth instantly opened and it asked:

"What is once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in a thousand years?"

Remus chewed his lip thoughtfully; glancing behind him he saw nobody coming up the stairs. If he answered it wrong, he'd have to wait for an actual Ravenclaw, and that might give him away since he was meant to be posing as a seventh year prefect and should really be good at this stuff by now. Or maybe no one would come at all and he'd run out of time and change back to himself, having failed at his part of the prank – and after all the effort he'd spent coordinating it.

"A minute, a moment, a thousand years," he muttered to himself. "A minute, a moment- oh! It's M – the letter M!"

The eagle stilled again and for a terrifying second Remus thought he'd answered it wrong, but then the door swung open in front of him and he allowed himself a moment of relief before storming into the room.

"Listen up, everyone!" he bellowed. He looked around the common room and was surprised to find it was remarkably similar to Gryffindor, with armchairs clustered around the fire and a few tables covered in books and parchment. There were some bookshelves, though, which the Gryffindors didn't have, and a few maps and drawings pinned to the walls.

A seventh year boy that Remus recognised as another Ravenclaw prefect came up to him and said, "What is it, Melissa?"

Everyone was looking at them now so Remus continued in a loud voice. "Professor Flitwick has just informed me that he wants Ravenclaw house to prove themselves as the smartest house in the school. Because we lost our last Quidditch match and we have the least points at the moment, he thinks we need to reclaim our pride."

There was an outbreak of muttering and most people's expressions were indignant. "I know, I know, I'm as annoyed about this as the rest of you. But he's decided that tomorrow morning, every student in our house will be taking a special exam."

At this, several people stood up and started shouting at him.

"He can't give us an exam with no notice!"

"What about our classes? We're meant to be learning to stun people in Defence tomorrow morning!"

"What does he expect us to prove if we don't have time to revise?"

"That isn't fair!"

"We should just boycott the exam!"

"Enough!" Remus shouted. His voice came out slightly deeper than before and he realised he didn't have a lot of time before he noticeably started transforming back to himself. "Flitwick was about to go down to dinner when he told me – if you have a problem with it, go and tell him directly. Maybe if enough of us complain, he'll cancel the exam."

Almost in unison,nearly one hundred students in the common room grabbed their things and started heading towards the door. Remus went with them down the stairs but slipped away as soon as he was able to. As he grew five inches and his hair shortened, he peered around the corner to watch a stampede of students heading towards the Great Hall.

"One down, three to go," he said to himself.

* * *

James couldn't stop pushing back the long fringe that fell in his eyes. How anyone could stand having hair like this, let alone play Quidditch, he would never know. But he was cheered up when he got to the Hufflepuff common room at almost the exact same time as another student, who said the password and held the door open for him – perfect.

"I'm going to need everyone's attention for a minute," James said loudly. "The Quidditch team especially." Everyone looked up from their books and homework and stopped talking. One girl, evidently the victim of one prank already today, had entirely green skin and there was a burn mark on the floor that suggested there had been a small explosion. Maybe Hufflepuffs were fun after all, James thought as he glanced around at their expectant faces.

"I'm sure you're all aware that we have a match against Slytherin in three weeks. Well, apparently that conflicts with some sort of important meeting the professors all need to go to." He sighed dramatically and pushed his fringe back again. "So it's been moved forward…to tomorrow."

There was uproar. James had to stop himself from grinning; it had taken them a while to figure out what would bother Hufflepuffs enough to start a riot, but all the houses had one thing in common – pride in their Quidditch teams.

"But we've not had enough time to finish training," one of the chasers argued.

"Exactly!" James said. "This isn't fair. Am I right?"

Based on the amount of people who shouted back at him, James assumed he was indeed right.

"Who's going to come down to the Great Hall with me and tell the teachers to push the match back?"

And moments later he was leading almost the entirety of the Hufflepuff common room out the doors, past the kitchens, and towards the Great Hall. Just before they got there, he felt the same tingling in his hands and feet that he'd felt when he'd first drunk the polyjuice potion. Hurriedly, he pushed open the doors to the Great Hall and stepped aside to let the Hufflepuffs stream through. They were no longer paying him any attention, focusing on the teachers' table in front of them, so it was easy to hurry back the way he'd come and duck into a secret passage behind a tapestry to change back into himself.

* * *

Peter was nervous. In some ways, he had the hardest job; if any of the houses were expecting to be pranked, it was the Gryffindors. After the past five years of the common room being snowed on, their beds being filled with dungbombs, their pumpkin juice being replaced with a cheering potion that made them laugh hysterically, and other pranks that had both amused and irritated them, they were ready for it.

Which was why Peter looked like someone they'd never suspect; Professor Kettleburn, the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, was an eccentric man who was known for being exceptionally kind unless you got on his bad side, at which point you were lucky if you didn't find yourself hexed. Dumbledore had reportedly warned him not to do this at least six times, but it was always difficult to find new staff what with the Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers always quitting or being fired or mysteriously disappearing - so Kettleburn was still around and probably would be for the next twenty years.

The weirdest thing about being Professor Kettleburn was that he was missing his right hand, having lost it in either a fight with a dragon or a cooking accident, depending on whose story you believed. The sensation of his hand simply disappearing was highly disconcerting and Peter couldn't quite shake the fear that it wouldn't grow back when the polyjuice wore off. What if his hand was gone forever?

Shaking himself to quell his worries, he mentally prepared himself for the performance he was about to put on and climbed through the portrait hole into Gryffindor tower.

"Which one of you took it?!" he shrieked. The Gryffindors all froze, expressions of surprise and concern on their faces; teachers almost never came into their common room, apart from when McGonagall made the occasional announcement or yelled at them when they partied until 2am after winning a Quidditch match.

In the dead silence, Peter continued yelling. "I know it was one of you! It's always Gryffindors – obsessed with April Fools' pranks, the lot of you! Oh, I put up with a lot in this job, but this is _the last straw_!"

Many of the students were looking around the room, and Peter saw Lily march up the stairs to the boys' dorms, presumably to find the four most likely culprits of any prank.

"W-what happened, Professor? What's been taken?" a fourth year girl asked.

"A niffler, that's what! I bet you think it's funny putting one in a classroom or in someone's dorm, but they can be dangerous, oh yes. Tear a room apart, they will, and they have a nasty bite if you try to take their treasure away from them! Not to mention the poor creature is probably confused and scared."

As Lily reappeared on the stairs, a frown on her face, he added the punchline. "I'll be searching _every single room_ in this castle from top to bottom until I find that niffler – starting with your dorms! And you bet I'll be thorough enough that you'll _wish_ it was only a niffler that went through your things. Now go on – all of you – clear out so I can start searching. I have special permission from Professor McGonagall to do this and I will whether you like it or not! If you have a problem with it, take it up with her!"

A few people made angry comments or muttered something about the boys who almost certainly took it, but when Peter shot a hex at the wall – barely missing a student's head – for good measure, they reluctantly starting filing out through the portrait hole, hopefully towards the Great Hall.

* * *

This was it. The biggest prank they'd ever tried to pull off. And the house they really wanted to piss off was Sirius' job – the Slytherins. He was quite enjoying looking like a Slytherin, really; he was doing what they always seemed to do - being a complete knob. He'd shoved into a girl on the way to the common room and then he snapped at someone to hurry up and say the password already.

And then he was in. Just like that.

"Where the fuck is Severus Snape?" he demanded the moment he stepped into the common room. It was eerie in there; compared to the Gryffindor tower he'd just left it was almost empty – with a couple of people sitting in pairs and a larger group of around ten people sat around a table nearby. There was a stone floor instead of a warm carpet and no windows. The lake was directly above them, held out by a magical barrier, and the little light that filtered through it was distinctly green.

The group of sixth years, along with a few younger students, were sitting in the corner of the room. Sirius recognised Rookwood, Nott, and, then – Regulus. Sitting two seats away from Snivellus was Sirius' brother. This threw him so much that he nearly forgot what he was doing, but all of a sudden it was even easier to be pissed off at Snape.

"I've just seen the house points," he snarled, stalking over to where Snape was sitting and leaning his hands on the arms of his chair. "I thought I'd see where we were after I got 20 points in" – Sirius realised mid-sentence that he had no idea what classes the student he looked like took – "class earlier. And guess what?"

Snape looked torn between worry and contempt, but he said in a quiet voice that was nevertheless full of disdain, "What?"

"Zero. House. Points. Not a single one." He heard the whispers from a few other students behind him but didn't take his eyes off of Snape's black ones. "And who do you think was to blame for that, Snape?"

"I don't know what you're talking about – I didn't do anything!" he insisted. "How could I have single-handedly lost over four-hundred points?"

"Merlin knows, but that's what Professor Slughorn told me." Sirius folded his arms, a glint in his eye. "I'm sure you could fuck up anything that badly if you tried hard enough."

Snape leapt from his seat, drawing his wand. "I don't know what the hell your problem is," he said, seething, "but-"

Rookwood put a hand on his arm. "Save it. We'll talk to Slughorn!" He looked around at his friends and they nodded back at him.

"Of course. It must all be a mistake," Mulciber agreed, standing up and prodding Sirius in the chest with his wand. "Now back off unless you really want to start something here." The tip of Mulciber's wand dug uncomfortably into Sirius' skin, and he instinctively took a tense step backwards.

This was not what he'd expected. He thought everyone would gang up on Snape, but instead he'd found him surrounded by apparent friends, with most of the house evidently already at dinner. He gave Mulciber an assessing look and saw the sleeve of his wand-arm slide down just enough to reveal the top of a black inked tattoo.

He glanced at Regulus, whose eyes looked too wide and who was looking back and forth between Sirius-in-disguise and Mulciber. Slowly, Sirius stepped further back. "Good," he said. "Talk to Slughorn. Maybe if all of us go, we can sort this out and get our points back."

And with that they all got up, their chairs scraping against the floor, and filed out into the corridor, leaving Sirius alone in the Slytherin common room, where he slowly changed back into himself.

After one last look around, he hurried out the door after them. There was only one other place he'd ever felt so relieved to leave.

* * *

When the potion had worn off, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter met in the entrance hall in their ill-fitting clothes and shoes that either crushed or dwarfed their feet. Exchanging matching grins, they stepped into the Great Hall together.

There were some students sitting at the house tables eating dinner – but only a few. The rest were far too busy crowding around the teachers' table complaining about four independent injustices. The Ravenclaw prefect Remus had impersonated, who was no doubt bewildered, was arguing animatedly with a pair of other prefects, the Hufflepuff Quidditch team were telling the Slytherin team something that had put horrified expressions on their faces, and the Gryffindors were all trying to talk to McGonagall while pointing at Professor Kettleburn, who had turned bright red with supressed fury.

Slughorn looked completely baffled, McGonagall exasperated, and Dumbledore amused. He looked up when the four boys entered and shot them a small wink. McGonagall, who noticed everything, followed his gaze and visibly sighed.

Seeing her expression, Sirius gave an elaborate bow, only to be pulled away by a laughing Remus, who grabbed a handful of his robes and tugged him over to the Gryffindor table – which was laden with mostly-untouched food.

James reached for a chicken drumstick, brandishing it in front of him. "A toast," he decreed, "To a prank well executed."

As the others began to fill their plates, James started to eat – only to bite down hard on his tongue as the chicken disintegrated.

"Looks like we weren't the only ones to pull a prank today," Sirius laughed as he attempted, and failed, to eat a potato. "Maybe the house elves felt like branching out."

 


	19. The Prank

"You need to stop stealing my ingredients," Sirius said as he and Remus headed down the corridor away from the dungeons. "I won't be held responsible if you accidentally add a dungbomb to your potion instead of a bean."

"Stop stealing my breakfast and I'll see what I can do," Remus replied with a grin. He was a little ahead of Sirius, and turned around to speak so that for a minute he was walking backwards.

Remarkably, he managed not to crash into anything as they headed up the staircase.

"You took the last of the bacon, Moony," Sirius sighed, "you know I can't live without my bacon."

"Then I will be happy to share your potions kit until the end of term – thank you for being so considerate."

Sirius shook his head as Remus laughed at himself. They'd made it to the entrance hall, and Remus hesitated in front of the staircase. He had to head up to his Ancient Runes class, whereas Sirius has Muggle Studies on the ground floor.

"I probably won't make it to dinner," he said, "the sun sets at around half seven and I'm not much feeling like eating anyway."

"No worries," Sirius shrugged, trying not to frown. "I'll see you down at the shack then."

"Yeah." Remus gave him a small smile before he joined the throng of students climbing the staircases.

Sirius watched him reach the first floor landing then disappear behind a group of third year girls. They'd been doing this for over a year now, and he still wasn't quite used to the mix of apprehension, fear and excitement that he felt on days of the full moon.

He could only imagine what Remus felt.

Pulling his bag higher onto his shoulder, Sirius didn't notice the eyes on him until he was half way across the entrance hall. The number of students still around was dwindling, and if he didn't get a move on he was going to be late for class.

"You're up to something."

The accusation came from the door to the great hall, where Snape was leaning casually as students scurried to and fro around him.

"Is going to class a crime now?" Sirius snapped, fully intending to walk straight past him.

"Touchy," Snape mocked. "Your brother has a bit of that about him too."

Sirius stopped.

"Takes everything too seriously, you'd think being the new heir of the family would have loosened him up a bit."

"What's your game?" Sirius asked, approaching Snape. "Why are you talking to me?"

"Because you're up to something," Snape repeated. "Always sneaking about the grounds late at night – I've seen you more than once. And now you're talking to Lupin about the shack. If you mean the shrieking shack I'd be very interested to know how to get all the way to Hogsmede _without permission_."

"Wouldn't you just." Sirius frowned. "I don't know what you think you've seen Snivellus, but looks like that thick brain of yours has jumped to conclusions as usual. We're not up to anything, and if you think talking about Regulus will make me tell you anything then you're wrong."

"Really?" Snape asked with a smile that made Sirius' stomach drop. "Because you'd be surprised how much he talks about you."

Sirius shook his head. "You're lying," he said, "and I don't have time for this."

"Oh, so your mother didn't burn you off the family tree then?" Snape sneered before he could leave. "I heard you cried and everything, a little embarrassing but –

"Shut up," Sirius spat, rounding on Snape and pushing him against the wall.

"See what I mean," Snape smirked, "touchy. Don't worry, we'll make sure Regulus can control himself better than you – I think he just needs a role model, you know. Someone to look up to since his brother isn't around."

"If you touch him-"

"Oh, I don't need to. Seems like little brother's already chosen a great mentor in Mulciber. Apparently your parents had quite the dinner party over Christmas."

Sirius shoved Snape against the wall once, then let go of him abruptly, feeling furious. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked again.

"I don't care about your brother," Snape shrugged. "But he has his uses. I saw him just last week actually, a bunch of fourth years trying to pull off an imperius curse. I wonder how Slughorn would feel if I told him that."

"Are you trying to _blackmail_ me?"

"Maybe," Snape replied casually. "What do you do when you leave the castle and what's down by the willow?"

Sirius didn't stop to wonder how Snape knew about the willow, he'd obviously been watching them for a while, and the thought of how close he could come to finding out about Remus made the rage in him even stronger.

"Tell Slughorn what you want," he snarled, "Regulus can make his own decisions."

The words tasted like ash in his mouth. His brother, the brother he'd taught to shoot sparks from his new wand when he was eleven, playing around with curses that could get him thrown in prison?

"I'll follow you!" Snape shouted after him as he stormed across the entrance hall towards the muggle studies classrooms. "I'll find out."

"Do what you want," Sirius yelled back, the anger flooding out as the desire to throw a jinx at Snape burned inside him, "the willow will do us all a favour and smash your head in before you can get inside."

Watching Sirius throw open the door to the downstairs corridor, Snape replayed the words in his mind.

' _Get inside.'_

He smiled.

* * *

James wasn't good at waiting. He, Sirius and Peter had been taking it in turns to watch out of the window of their dorm to see when Madam Pomfrey would finally come back to the castle after leaving with Remus almost half an hour ago.

"What time is it?" he asked, leaning his chin on his hand and mindlessly staring out at the grounds.

"Half seven," Peter replied. "She should be back soon if she doesn't want to get eaten."

"We could just go down now," Sirius suggested impatiently. "We have the cloak."

"No need," James said, sitting up straight. "That's her."

"Finally." Sirius leapt off the bed, which he'd been lying on for the past half hour floating random objects above his head for no discernible reason. "Let's go."

"Hang on." James pushed his glasses back up his nose and frowned at the tree far below them. "I swear there's someone else down there."

"A teacher?" Peter asked.

He shook his head. "Come here – look, there was someone behind the bushes near the lake. It looks like-"

"Snape?" Peter said incredulously as he spotted the figure below them. "What's he doing down there? You don't think he's found out about Remus, do you?"

"Oh, shit." Sirius darted across the room and squeezed between them to see for himself. "I didn't think he'd actually listen."

"Sirius," James said sternly. "What did you tell him?"

"Well he overheard us talking about the shack…" Sirius squirmed under James' gaze. "I told him the tree would do him in before he made it inside. I didn't even realise I'd said it until later."

"You've got to be kidding me. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I didn't mean it! He was talking about Reg and I didn't think-"

"No, clearly you didn't." James turned back to the window, gripping the ledge tightly and watching as Snape floated a stick towards the base of the tree. The branches abruptly stopped moving and Snape was able to pass unimpeded beneath the willow. "Shit. He must've seen Pomfrey press the knob to get out. _Shit."_

"But he'll find out about Remus," Peter squeaked. "He could tell the whole school!"

"If he lives long enough," James said. He had gone very pale, and his voice was unnaturally calm. "Sirius, you're going to go and get McGonagall right now and tell her Snape's gone down to the willow. Peter, you're going to come with me and stop Snape before he gets himself killed."

Neither of them moved, too frozen with shock at the sudden seriousness of the situation. "Come on," James snapped, grabbing Peter's arm and dragging him out of the door.

There were still lots of people in the common room, chatting by the fire or doing homework at one of the tables. Everything seemed normal, but if they weren't in time, things would never be normal again. They'd be expelled, most likely, and Remus might be-

James pushed the thought from his mind and ignored the stares they got as they ran towards the portrait hole and scrambled out. He kept running down the seven flights of stairs, shoving people out the way as Peter puffed and panted behind him. He heard a voice shout "Mr Potter!" in a disapproving tone as they sprinted through the entrance hall, but he didn't stop. Sirius would tell a teacher; James just had to stop Snape.

The air was shockingly cold when they pushed open the main doors and staggered out. It caught in his throat with each laboured breath but he didn't stop running, not until he skidded to a halt in front of the willow. He waited impatiently as Peter caught up, but before he could say anything Peter held up a hand, scrunched up his face in concentration, and all at once shrank down into a rat. He sniffed around for a moment, disoriented after the transformation, and James turned him around to face the tree so he could go and press the knob. When that was done, James hurried over.

"Stay here," he said firmly, hoping that the words would make it through to Peter's rat brain. "Wait for Sirius."

It was a squeeze to fit through the hole beneath the willow, and once he was down there James had to run as fast as he could while bent over in the low passageway. It felt like he was taking too long – would Snape be at the shack by now? Would he have the sense to turn back when he heard Remus' howls and scratching? James could only hope something terrible hadn't already happened.

Eventually the passageway grew wider and the ceiling was high enough that he could run flat out, his chest now aching and a sharp pain in his side. A little light filtered into the passage as it started to rise upwards, and then – finally – when he turned a corner he saw Snape. Still alive. But standing with his head and shoulders inside the trap door that lead into the shack.

"Don't!" James roared, not slowing down as he dashed towards Snape and rugby tackled him to the ground.

As the trap door fell shut, James heard the deafening screech of claws scraping the wood above him.

* * *

Sirius was leaning against the wall in McGonagall's office – where he had been pacing until James and Peter came in a few minutes ago. Neither of them were talking to him, and he didn't dare open his mouth to ask what had happened. It couldn't have been too awful… If Snape had actually gotten himself killed, James would have told him. Snape was probably with McGonagall and Dumbledore; hopefully being convinced to not tell the entire school about Remus, or what had nearly happened. Sirius felt sick. Not the kind of sick he was used to feeling after drinking too much, or when he had the flu, but an unpleasant gnawing in his stomach that rose every few minutes to the top of his throat like bile.

"What - " Sirius began, unable to keep quiet any longer, but just as James threw a murderous look towards him, McGonagall entered the room, looking worn out and very angry.

"Sit down, Mr Black," she said curtly, waving her wand so another chair appeared next to James' and Peter's. She crossed to the other side of her desk and took off her glasses to rub the bridge of her nose. "I hope you all realise the seriousness of what you've done." She replaced her glasses and looked down at them with steely anger. "Mr. Snape could have died today. _He could have died._ You were almost responsible for the death of another student who did nothing to you but, what, insulted you? Cast some petty hex?"

None of them said anything, so she continued. "What's more, you used your own friend as a tool to do so. Had Mr Snape been killed, Mr Lupin would have been expelled, if not sent to Azkaban. I'm sure you're all well aware of how the Ministry views werewolves. I have had many students in my office in all my years of teaching, and the three of you have been in here more than most, but I have never, _never_ had cause to blame any of them for something this severe. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?"

Sirius looked at James, who had been glaring at him furiously for the entirety of McGonagall's tirade. The sad thing was that Sirius somehow knew that, as mad as he was, James would take part of the blame if Sirius let him.

"Professor," Sirius said, trying his best not to look away as he met McGonagall's eye. "I was the one who told Snape about the willow. He overheard us talking this afternoon and I mentioned he could get inside the tree. James and Peter didn't even know what had happened until we saw Snape stop the branches moving through the window."

He took a deep breath, glancing back at his friends, who looked slightly more at ease if not any less angry.

"Is this true?" she asked, peering at them over her glasses.

James and Peter exchanged a glance and James nodded once.

"I see. In that case, perhaps the two of you should return to your dormitory and get some sleep. I'm sure Remus will need you to explain what has happened in the morning. I don't expect to see any of you in class first period."

James and Peter slowly got up and left, with Peter glancing back and shooting a worried smile at Sirius before he closed the door.

"Well, Mr Black, are you pleased with yourself? All of this because of a moment of foolish pride."

"I know," Sirius said quietly. For all the certainty he'd felt owning up with his friends still in the room, now Sirius found himself unable to look anywhere but at McGonagall's desk. "It sounds stupid but I never meant for any of this to happen. I would never do that – not to Remus. He's my friend and now he's going to hate me and I didn't really want to kill Snape; I'm not like them - my family. I don't just go around trying to kill people. I'm – I'm sorry."

McGonagall's expression softened just a little. "I didn't really believe any of you were capable of plotting murder, despite Mr Snape's certainty that you were. But the fact is that Mr Lupin's condition can put people in danger, and when he told you about it he was trusting you to consider that." Sirius tugged at his sleeves and McGonagall sighed. "I know you would never intentionally do anything to hurt Remus, but your thoughtlessness nearly did a great deal of damage. You will have detention at 7pm every evening until I say otherwise, and I'll be writing to your parents."

"They won't care," he said bitterly.

She raised her eyebrows. "Since Mrs Potter personally asked to be considered your guardian, she is the one I'll be writing to."

Sirius finally looked up at her, stern as ever but slightly more pitying than she had been five minutes ago. In all the times he'd sat in her office over the years, he'd never felt this guilty. For the sake of a jibe at Snape, James would barely look at him, the Potters would be receiving a letter detailing how he almost killed someone, and Remus would surely never want to speak to him again.

"Okay," he said to McGonagall, completely defeated.

"You may go, Mr Black." He nodded and rose to leave, but as he opened the door she added, "Despite what you may think right now, your friends will forgive you. I've rarely seen students who are as inseparable as the four of you."

* * *

After writing a quick but heartfelt letter to the Potters in the owlery to assure them he hadn't intentionally tried to hurt anyone, Sirius got back to the dormitory exhausted at just gone 10 o‘clock. Usually on the nights of the full moon, he would be wide awake at this time, roaming the forest with the others, but all he wanted to do now was crawl into bed.

When he entered the dormitory, he found James and Peter sitting on their beds, talking in low voices, which they stopped the moment they saw him. He closed the door heavily behind him and awkwardly stood there for a moment, swinging his arms and not knowing where to look.

"You're not expelled are you?" Peter asked worriedly.

Sirius shook his head. "Just detention for the rest of my life and she's writing to the Potters." He tried to keep his tone light but it faltered when he glanced at James and saw the annoyance in his expression. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean-"

"I just can't believe you were so stupid," James said harshly. It was the first thing he'd said to him since telling him to fetch a teacher what seemed like days ago. "I hate Snape as much as you do but he could've _died_. And Moony-" He broke off. "Forget it. I'm going to bed. Don't talk to Remus in the morning – I'll do it."

He got into bed and pulled the curtains shut tightly around him. With a small shrug Peter did the same, and Sirius was left to collapse into bed feeling like he was going to cry. He'd been yelled at more times than he could count in his life, but never by someone who mattered as much as James did.


	20. Aftermath

James had barely slept, and he didn't think anyone else had either; he'd heard Sirius tossing and turning, and Peter's typical snores were noticeably absent. Normally after a full moon they got to bed shortly before dawn and slept soundly for the few hours before they needed to get up for classes or Quidditch practice. He was used to having to function even when exhausted, but normally he still felt happy and exhilarated from their night time adventures, not to mention pleased about being able to help Remus. But this time they'd failed him spectacularly. For most of the night, James had lain in bed alternating between anger at Sirius and worry about Remus, and he hadn't even had any emotions to spare to feel mad at Snape for being a nosy git in the first place.

When a sliver of sunlight cut through the curtains of James' four-poster, he decided to officially give sleep up as a lost cause and slipped out of bed. He put on his glasses and got dressed as quickly and quietly as possible in the dark, but as he opened the dormitory door he heard Peter's voice. "Hey, Prongs? Are you going to see Remus?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause, and James thought perhaps Peter was about to volunteer to come with him. Then he said, "Tell him I hope he's okay. Let me know if I can do anything."

"Sure, Pete. See you in a bit."

The corridors were deserted, since presumably the rest of the castle was still sleeping easily. It was also very dark and cold with only the first glints of sunlight coming through the windows, and James hadn't thought to put a cloak on. He rubbed his arms as he hurried down the stairs, wondering for the hundredth time that night what he was going to tell Remus. It would have been a relief to walk into the warmth of the hospital wing, with two fires blazing at opposite ends of the room, if it weren't for the news he was about to deliver.

Only one bed was occupied, where Madam Pomphrey was bending over Remus and applying a potion to his wounds. James had seen him get patched up enough times to know that the potion stung, but it worked quickly. Normally, Remus' scratches had faded significantly within only a couple of hours, but as James approached the bed he realised that on this occasion, that was unlikely to be the case.

Madam Pomphrey looked up when she heard James' footsteps. "You're here early, Mr Potter. I'm just about done tending to these wounds – I just wish I knew why they're so much worse than usual." She looked momentarily concerned, then shook her head and smiled reassuringly at James, "I'm sure you have plenty to discuss so I'll be in my office. Tell me when you leave and I'll give Mr Lupin a sleeping potion." Remus began to protest, but she looked at him sternly. "You won't be going to classes this morning while you're in this condition. Perhaps you'll have recovered enough by the afternoon, but I make no promises."

She patted Remus on the shoulder and retreated to her office. James gave her a forced smile as she left and pulled a chair closer to Remus' bed. "How're you doing, Moony?"

"Alright. Not sure where all these scratches came from. Did I get into a fight with a hippogrff or something last night?" he joked.

"Not exactly." James saw Remus' smile fade.

"Okay… What happened?" There was rising panic in his voice. "Oh god, I didn't hurt anyone did I?"

"No! No, you didn't. You've not done anything wrong, Remus." James ran a hand through his hair; it was even messier than usual, which was an achievement he'd usually be proud of.

"Then what is it?"

James let out a long sigh. "The extra scratches are because we weren't there last night. We couldn't - something happened. We weren't there to help you so you did this" – he gestured at Remus' bandaged chest – "to yourself. I'm sorry."

"Oh." Remus bit his lip. "Why weren't you there? I mean, I don't blame you, obviously. But something happened?"

"I'd better not tell you until you're better - you know what Madam Pomphrey is like about you getting nice quiet bed rest."

" _James_ ," he said firmly. "I'm fine. I can handle it. Just tell me."

Meeting Remus' very determined gaze, James nodded reluctantly. "Right. I don't really know how to explain but... Snape knows about you."

Remus' nose scrunched up in confusion. "Snape knows I'm a werewolf?"

"Yeah. He was - I dunno why - Sirius got mad and said something to him about the willow, so the idiot went down to check it out."

James examined Remus' expression carefully; his eyes widened and he opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again. He had gone very still and tense, his jaw set and his scarred hands tightening into fists around the bed sheets.

"If there's something to be said in Sirius' defence, now would be the time to tell me," Remus said. His voice was cold and flat, the way it only got when he was furious; it didn't happen often, but James had known him for five and a half years and could recognise when he was truly angry.

"Snape was winding him up and he didn't think he'd take it seriously, I guess." James spread his hands in a shrug that indicated he would never completely understand the mind of Sirius Black. "He didn't mean for anything to happen - not that it did," he added hastily when Remus looked alarmed. "Snape's fine. We stopped him in time, but he saw you. He won't tell anyone, though. McGonagall made him swear and no one in their right mind would cross her when she really means it."

Remus nodded slowly. "So - what - Sirius just came and said he'd told Snape about the willow and you all went after him?"

"Er - no. I think Sirius completely forgot that he'd said anything about it. He didn't remember until we saw Snape out the window when we were watching for Pomfrey to come back. I told him to go get McGonagall while me and Peter went after Snape."

"Oh." Remus had gone paler than he'd already been - which was very, after such a rough night. He looked like he was either going to cry or punch something, and James watched him with concern to see which it would be, but Remus took a deep breath and managed to hold himself together. "Thanks for - for stopping Snape."

"Of course," James replied softly. "Remus, are you alright? Really?"

He let out something that was either a laugh or a sob. "Not particularly."

"If there's anything I can do then you know I will - Pete said the same."

"Yeah. Thanks." Remus smiled thinly. "I think now might be about time for that sleeping potion."

"Sure, I'll tell Madam Pomfrey." James got up and squeezed his shoulder on his way to her office. He hung around while Remus drank the potion and drifted into a hopefully restorative sleep. "When we he wake up?" he asked.

"About eleven I should think."

"Right - I'll be back then. Thanks." He turned to leave, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his robes.

"Don't skip class for it!" she called after him, and James assured her he wouldn't before stepping out into the now-bustling corridors, letting the hospital wing doors close heavily behind him.

* * *

Lily had just left transfiguration, waved Mary and Alice off to their history class, and was looking forward to having the rest of the afternoon free to finish up her defence against the dark arts essay and check on Remus after the full moon. The April morning looked brisk and grey outside, but the castle was warm as usual, and she was happy to part with her friends in favour of the common room.

She hadn't seen James, Peter or Sirius all day, and suspected they were holed up back in the dorm with Remus, or else still at the hospital wing. She was wondering whether she should stop off there on the way to the tower – just to see if Remus was still there or not - when she very nearly walked straight into someone.

Snape stepped back and folded his arms smugly across his chest. "Well, I hope you're pleased with who you've replaced me with."

"What?" Lily asked. She hadn't spoken to him since Slughorn's party, and didn't have any particular interest in breaking the vow of silence now.

"You start hanging around with Potter and that lot, think they're your friends? Well last night Potter and Black tried to kill me," he said matter-of-factly.

"They tried to _kill_ you?" Lily asked sceptically, rolling her eyes. "What with? A jelly legs jinx?"

"Very funny," Snape snarled, "but you won't be laughing when they try and feed _you_ to a wild animal. Ask McGonagall if you don't believe me, they were probably in her office all night. Should have been expelled if you ask me - are you getting this? I could have been killed."

"You're actually serious," Lily said, shocked. Snape may have grown into a terrible person over the years, but she'd known him long enough to be able to tell when he was and wasn't lying.

"Like I keep telling you," he replied. "Potter is dangerous."

"Did you say a wild animal?" Lily asked, suddenly panicked.

Snape glared at her. "Oh, I should have known. Of course you know about him. Yes, a disgusting _animal_ that shouldn't be here."

"James sent you to -" Lily said, too distracted to pay much attention to the implications of Snape's comment. She couldn't believe that James would do that. Had they actually tried to get Remus to hurt someone? "I have to go," she said hurriedly, pushing past Snape and rushing up staircase after staircase until she finally reached the common room. Without stopping to knock or ask permission, she burst into the boys' dormitory, rounding on James before she had time to process the shocked silence that followed her entrance.

"What the hell is your problem?" she demanded, glancing once at Peter, who was sitting beside James on the bed. Remus was on the other side of the room in his own bed, tucked up beneath three layers of blankets and still looking as though he were at death's door. Sirius was sitting on the floor close by - she hadn't noticed him when she came in - strangely absent from the rest of them with his legs crossed beneath him.

"Lily, this really isn't a good time," James said calmly, standing up in the hopes of directing whatever had upset her out of the dorm.

"Oh really?" she snapped, "because I just had a very interesting conversation with Severus about you."

James sighed. "Whatever he told you-"

"That you tried to kill him-"

"Whatever he-"

"By using your best friend as bait!'" Lily finished, gesturing wildly at Remus, who was watching them worriedly. "And to think I was actually starting to consider us friends."

"You don't understand," James attempted, desperate to diffuse the situation.

"What don't I understand James?" she scoffed. "That you're a selfish prick? Because I thought so for years, yet here I am, I keep coming back and getting caught up in your crap like you _using my friend to hurt someone_."

"Lily," Remus said quietly from across the room, instantly silencing everyone. "It wasn't James' fault."

"You don't have to defend him," she said more gently, still staring furiously at James.

"It was my fault," Sirius put in, almost as quietly as Remus had spoken. "James didn't have anything to do with it."

"If it wasn't for James," Remus explained, "things could have been..." he glanced for a moment at Sirius, and Lily was suddenly painfully aware of the tension between the four of them. The usual easy manner they had as a group had all but vanished, replaced with awkward pauses and uncertain looks. "Well, it could have been a lot worse."

"Oh," Lily said. That explained why Sirius was in a completely different corner of the room to the others, looking resolutely at the floor. She looked back to James. "Right, well, sorry. I just - Severus said - never mind. I don't know why I listened to him." She paused. "But he really did nearly die?"

Everyone in the room turned to Sirius, who seemed to shrink a little.

"Yeah," James said. "But nobody was trying to kill him."

"I might be in a minute," Lily muttered. She shook her head and turned to Remus. "Sorry for barging in. I'm sure you need rest."

"That's okay. I've slept plenty already."

"I'll come back in a bit - if that's okay?" she asked and Remus nodded. "But first I have some more yelling to do."

He smiled faintly. "Have fun."

After taking one last brief and excruciatingly awkward look at everyone in the room, Lily left, leaving them to the silence they'd been in since James and Peter had helped Remus back from the hospital wing half an hour ago.

"Should we go have dinner?" Peter said eventually. "We can bring you some food back, Moony."

"Good idea," James replied. "Let's go."

Sirius seemed entirely unsure whether he was meant to go with them or not, since he didn't seem particularly welcome either way, but he was saved having to make that decision by an owl tapping at the window.

"Oh," he said, a feeling of dread rising in his chest. "That'll be from your parents." He glanced at James. "I'd better answer it."

James raised his eyebrows at Remus, who shrugged. "He can stay here," he said in a tone that was evidently meant to suggest he was entirely indifferent to Sirius' presence.

"Alright. See you in a bit."

Sirius opened the window reluctantly - he thought it said something that the Potters’ owl knew him well enough to swoop inside and perch casually on his arm while he untied the letter from her leg.

He half expected the letter to be a howler, but when he opened it, no sound came out.

_Sirius dear,_

_The letter we got from Professor McGonagall last night was alarming to say the least. I know you assured us that there had been a misunderstanding, and Fleamont and I don't know the ins and outs of it, but the accusation that you very nearly got someone badly hurt, intentionally or not, is serious all the same. I know it's not in your nature to be violent, but you need to try not to let what other people say bother you so much, then hopefully we can avoid situations like these._

_Do try to stay out of trouble, at least until all of this has blown over._  
_We love you._

_Euphemia_

Sirius stared at the letter. He wasn't sure what to make of it really, but had the distinct impression that if they hadn't had time to think how to word it, they would have seemed much more angry. How do you find out that someone you let live in your home caused so much damage and say 'try to stay out of trouble'? Sirius wished someone would yell at him again. When James was shouting last night at least he knew they were still on speaking terms.

Remus watched Sirius fold the letter in half and stuff it in the cluttered drawer of his bedside table. He couldn't help pitying him just a little – James' parents had almost certainly not said anything too harsh, but Sirius had been so grateful when the Potters had taken him in, and now he'd disappointed them. He must feel terrible. Which he _should_ , Remus reminded himself.

"Remus?" Sirius said quietly. He was sitting on his bed staring down at his hands.

"Yes?" he replied warily.

"I'm sorry - I know I really messed up and-"

"Can we not do this?" Remus said. Despite sleeping all morning, he felt suddenly very tired. "I just... It's too much. I don't particularly feel like talking to you yet."

Sirius nodded. He got up and gave Remus a brave attempt at a smile. "I understand. I'll leave you alone."

He left very quickly, and Remus was actually grateful to have the room to himself. Everyone was fussing over him even more than usual when all he really wanted was to think and sleep. He tugged the curtains shut around him and rolled onto his side, curling up in the warm sheets and trying not to lie on the worst of his wounds. On second thoughts, maybe thinking could wait.

* * *

Lily arrived at the Slytherin common room, walked straight up to the entrance, and knocked. She had no interest in waiting around for someone to tell her the password, and the confused looking fourth year that came to the door would have to do.

"Is Snape in there?" She asked before the girl had a chance to turn her away.

"Er," the girl replied. "I think so." She turned around and glanced behind her, before disappearing and closing the door in Lily's face. Damn, she thought. She should have just pushed her way into the room, or called out for Snape herself; now she really would have to wait for someone else to come along.

Then the common room door creaked back open, and Lily realised that the girl had simply gone to get Snape, who slunk through the door looking, disgustingly, pleased to see her. His expression immediately changed when he saw the look on her face, and without preamble Lily pulled him to one side, where they were less likely to be overheard were anyone to walk past, and said fiercely, "I can't believe I listened to you."

"I presume Potter talked you round, then," Snape commented dryly, which only served to make Lily more furious at him.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that," she spat. "I can think for myself Severus, and I should have known you're a lying git who would tell me anything to get his way. Potter didn't try to kill you, he saved you, and if you hadn't listened to Black's stupid comment you wouldn't have been in any danger in the first place!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault I was almost killed by a dangerous dark -

"Listen to me," Lily interrupted, taking a threatening step closer to him. "If you tell _anyone_ about Remus, you'll have me to answer to."

"What is _wrong_ with everyone?" Snape shouted. "People like him shouldn't even be allowed to -"

"He is my friend," Lily snapped, "and if you breathe a word I will -

"What?" Snape said sarcastically. "Kill me yourself? I really don't think you're up to it, Evans."

"No. I wouldn't kill you Severus, I'm not like your new friends." She moved away from him, back into the bright light of the corridor. "But I know you, and I can tell them all sorts of interesting facts, can’t I? How about your nice collection of muggle books or how pathetic it was when you tried to put a tracking spell on your muggle dad because you were so desperate to find him? I'm sure your pureblood friends would love to know all about that. Don't forget that I know things, and I will not let you get one of my best friends thrown out of school without making your life a misery."

She shrugged, so worked up that it was easy to turn on her heel and storm down the corridor back towards the staircase. She didn't think Snape had moved an inch when she cast a last look over her shoulder before climbing the stairs back to the entrance hall, and couldn't help but be glad, because she had meant every word.

If she was going to be friends with the likes of Remus and James, she was at least going to do it well.


	21. Forgiveness

It was Sunday, sunny for a change as April dissolved rapidly into greening leaves and brighter evenings. It was also a week and a half since Sirius had been told to give Remus space, and space, he had discovered, was not easy to give when sharing a dorm and most of your classes with someone.

It was exhausting, which was actually something of a surprise – that being quiet could be so draining. Remus was talking to him, sort of, but things weren't the same, and the effort not to say anything too presumptive – anything that would make things worse – was excruciating.

James had calmed significantly, which Sirius had a feeling was because his parents were cajoling him into keeping an eye on him, and was back to joking around a little more, but the distance with Remus was pronounced and unsettling. He'd been out of the common room all morning, choosing instead to do work in the library, although Sirius had a sneaking suspicion that they didn't have that much work to do, and that he was simply trying to avoid him. Over Christmas, when Remus was back at the castle, Sirius hadn't felt the distance as much, but when Remus was going out of his way to spend as little time as possible in his company, it was strangely painful. Although Sirius was fairly certain that things would resolve themselves eventually, he was desperate to move the forgiving along and get everything back to normal.

James and Peter were up in the dorm, but Sirius had left only minutes after going up to join them. He didn't really feel like talking to either of them - it felt weird without Remus there, like he was cheating in some way by spending time with them when he was still, for lack of a better term, in the doghouse. Plus when he'd tried to ask for their advice he was met with shrugs and comments of "he'll come round", which in Sirius' mind, simply wouldn't do. So he climbed down the stairs to the common room, hoping that he could find someone who might know more than him about making things up to someone, and who would hopefully be able to point him in the right direction.

The first person he spotted was Mary, sitting alone by the fire with a cup of tea warming her hands and a magazine floating in front of her. Sirius made his way over to her, grabbing the magazine as he went and sitting down on the table in front of her.

"Hello," he said with a small smile, "as you may have heard there is a current rupture between your four favourite Gryffindors. I thought maybe you'd be able to help."

"Well, you were a bit of a dick," she said mildly, plucking the magazine back out of his hand. "And I was reading that."

"You don't even know what happened!" Sirius said, confused.

"Ah," Mary replied, "But I did have to endure at least three of Lily's very long and cryptic rants about you, so you've certainly done something to piss her off."

"Is she furious?" he asked with some concern. James was predictable in his anger, and ultimately Sirius doubted there was anything he could do that was bad enough to not be forgiven. Remus was quiet and frustrating and Peter didn't seem to get all that angry at all. Lily however was uncharted territory, and she and Remus had grown close over the last few months.

"Honestly? Yes. And she's likely to stay that way for a while - Lily Evans is a hell of a grudge holder. She didn't talk to me for a month in second year when I copied off her homework and she got in trouble for it." She patted his arm in a way that was almost certainly intended to be patronising. "You'll be making this up to her for a long while, my friend. Although, from what little sense I could make of the rants, it sounds like it's Remus you need to make things up to. I reckon once he's okay with you, Lily will be too."

"That's the problem." Sirius sighed, shrugging Mary's arm off as he stood, "I have no idea how to make this up to him."

"You could try actually asking him," Mary suggested, rolling her eyes. "And by the way, watch out for itching powder in your clothes. Lily's got me with that one way too many times."

"Itching powder?" Sirius repeated dubiously as he glanced around the common room for someone else who would hopefully provide better, and less confrontational, advice. He'd never pegged Evans as one to revenge prank someone. Maybe she and James really were more compatible that they seemed to think.

Benjy and Marlene - who was presumably avoiding revising for her seventh-year NEWT exams - were sitting on the other side of the room, engrossed in a game of chess. Sirius eyed them cautiously as he approached, not sure if they were the best people to go to with his problems. Still, he had nothing to lose, so he stopped beside their table, folded his arms across his chest defiantly, and asked "how do you stop someone being mad at you when you did something really stupid?"

"You on about Lupin?" Marlene asked.

When Sirius looked surprised, Benjy cheerfully added, "Everyone knows he's mad at you. James too, though he seems to have cooled off a bit now."

"And I heard that Evans is likely to rip you a new one."

"Does everyone in the bloody house know about my personal life?" Sirius demanded, feeling more frustrated than ever.

"Queen to C5," Marlene said, then smirked as her chess piece hit Benjy's knight over the head with her sceptre and moved in front of his king. “Check mate, Fenwick.”

“Damn. Rematch?”

“Nah. Maybe in a bit, but I should probably actually revise for this charms exam. See you later.”

When Marlene had gone, Benjy said, "I dunno why you're so bothered, Sirius. It'll blow over, and until then you've got James and Peter."

"No," Sirius said immediately. "I mean I do, but it's not the same thing.”

“It isn’t?”

“Not really. James is like my brother, Peter’s a mate, but Remus is…”

Benjy raised an eyebrow. “Remus is what?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius said, frustrated at not being able to put his feelings into words. “You don't get it."

Benjy shrugged. "If you say so. Hey, he likes those new Honeydukes bars, right? Get him chocolate - gifts always soften people up."

"Hmm," Sirius replied noncommittally. "I suppose that could work." Though he didn't exactly feel like sneaking out of the castle just to get chocolate, not when he was in so much trouble already, and the next Hogsmede weekend was still two weeks away. "Thanks."

Feeling defeated, Sirius turned away from them, thinking that he might head down to the kitchens in search of something that could cheer him up. Maybe they'd even have some sort of chocolate for Remus, and Benjy might be right, a peace offering was better than nothing. Just as he was about to step through the portrait hole though, Chloe strolled over to him, smiling eagerly. Her expression changed slightly when she saw his face, and she asked, "Still in trouble with everyone?" with a grin that Sirius didn't particularly think fitted the occasion.

"Yes," he said simply. "Any ideas on how to make it all go away?"

"Beg? Bribe them? Drown your sorrows in firewhiskey?" She laughed. "Nah, I don't have a clue to be honest. I barely know Remus, although judging by how bothered you are he must be pretty cool." Standing on her tiptoes to look over his shoulder to where Benjy and Marlene were still sitting, she added, "Were you just talking to Benjy about it? What did he say?"

"Said to get Remus chocolate," Sirius said, realising as he said it out loud that Benjy's suggestion sounded a little strange. "Don't think that'll work though," he sighed, hesitating at the portrait hole. "Maybe I'll just sod this and try talking to him again."

"Awesome," Chloe replied. There was a loud groan from the other side of the room and they both looked round. "I think Benjy just lost that game. I'll go see if he wants to play another with me. Good luck with Remus!"

"Yeah," Sirius said absently as she dashed away from him. He'd made up his mind. To the library it was; Remus had to give him a chance to apologise properly, and if he still didn't want to talk after that well... Sirius would just have to deal with it.

* * *

It was approaching the time of year when the library was full of fifth and seventh years revising for their exams, and Remus had at first wondered whether he still looked ill enough for someone to give up their seat for him, but after doing a circuit of the library he found himself a small, wobbly table crammed in between two bookshelves.

He didn't particularly have anything to _do_ , but it was that or sit awkwardly with one or more of his friends, who were still being irritatingly careful around him as if they thought he might break. As mad as he was, a large part of him just wanted to pretend that it had never happened, but there was also the painful ache in his chest whenever he thought about it, and the fresh new scar across his cheek that was an unpleasant reminded of what he could have done. Sighing, he started to pick out books at random from the shelves within reach, flicking through them absently and discarding them until there was a sizable pile in front of him. He couldn't remember a single thing he'd read.

Maybe he'd go up to the owlery, he thought, and reply to the anxious letter he'd received from his mum three days earlier, followed by a sterner one from his father telling him to be more careful. As though it was his fault he'd nearly eaten Snape.

He was eyeing the books wearily, debating whether to bother putting them back on the shelves or to slip away before Madam Pince saw the mess he'd made, when the very person he'd been avoiding approached his table.

"Sirius," he said. Beyond that, there was nothing he could think to say that wouldn't come across as hostile. He considered getting up to leave, but the space between the bookshelves was so narrow that he'd have to squeeze right past him, and that would be excruciatingly awkward. With a sigh, he gestured to the other chair and Sirius sat down.

"I know you don't want to talk to me," Sirius said without any preamble. He focused for too long on the scar on his face, frowning before averting his gaze to the pile of books on Remus' rickety desk. "And I might be chucked out of here any minute because I knocked over a pile of books on the way in and they fell onto some Ravenclaws, but I need you to hear me out."

Reluctantly, Remus said, "I'm listening."

"Good," Sirius said, "I'm sorry, but I've said that a million times and I know it doesn't change anything. I never thought that Snape would listen to me when I told him about the willow, I didn't even know what I was saying – you know how I get, too pissed off and I don't realise I've opened my big mouth until one of you stop me." He looked up at Remus, who was looking down at his hands instead of at him.

"I didn't realise," he continued earnestly, "how much I would miss you if you were to suddenly stop talking to me. I didn't think that would ever happen, because you're you, you know? And we're supposed to be best mates, and now I've ruined it and I just want -"

"Shh!" Came an angry voice from behind him, and Sirius turned mid-sentence to see Madame Pince glowering at him. "Not so loud," she said sternly, hovering behind the bookshelf to their left.

Sirius waited a fraction of a second before returning his attention to Remus, continuing in a more hushed, urgent tone, "I can't stand this, Moony. I know I wasn't thinking about you when I said what I did to Snape, that you don't trust me, and I can understand if we're not okay right away, but please just give me something here. You know I love James like a brother, Pete too, but without you –”

"Mr. Black!" Madame Pince was back, look angrier than ever and brandishing a book threateningly at Sirius. "Are you doing any work?"

"Er," Sirius replied, "not technically, but this is really important."

"If you're not doing any work, you can't be here."

"But -"

"Kindly leave before I have to remove you."

Sirius glanced at Remus anxiously as he stood, his expression full of concern as he waited for any sort of response, but Remus said nothing.

"Now, Mr. Black."

"Right, fine," Sirius ground out. “I’ll be outside, Remus.”

He stalked towards the exit, knocking over another pile of books for good measure as he marched through the double doors.

* * *

Remus didn't entirely know how he was meant to respond to Sirius' speech. He'd started out fully intending to stay mad for at least another week, but what Sirius had said was true – when two of them fought their entire group fell apart. The four of them were closer than Remus could have hoped for, and this was the biggest fight they'd ever had in nearly six years of friendship. He knew James was only holding off on being back to normal with Sirius because he wanted to make it clear he was on Remus' side - and Peter always stuck with James. If Remus forgave Sirius, everything would be alright again.

There was a very good chance that Sirius would spend the entire afternoon outside the library if Remus made him wait that long. It was an extremely tempting idea to leave him out there, but instead Remus put all his books back as slowly as possible then left the library.

As expected, Sirius was pacing in the corridor outside. "Moony," he said brightly, then cut himself off and looked at Remus expectantly.

"You're an arse, you know that?" Remus said. Sirius' hopeful expression faded so he continued: "But you're my friend and I've missed you too."

"I'm your arse?" Sirius asked teasingly, trying to clear the air. When Remus only looked at him exasperatedly he sobered and said, "I swear I will never do anything that stupid again. That's obviously a given, but you're more important than a stupid grudge with Snape."

"I feel so loved," Remus replied wryly. "Now come on, let's go tell everyone I don't hate you because I'm pretty sure Lily's been devising new and terrible ways to torture you."

"The girl is terrifying," Sirius mused, more with awe than any real concern. There was still a fair amount of tension between them as they walked back to the common room, but Remus seemed happy to be back on speaking terms, and even if things had changed between them, Sirius still felt extremely relieved that they were back on the right track.

* * *

James and Peter had decided that McGonagall probably wouldn't notice if their homework was three inches short of the length she'd asked for - having blocked out the memory of every other time they'd tried to trick her and ended up with twice as much work as they'd originally been set. Their time had since been very productively occupied by drawing up a timetable for when James should hold Quidditch practice in the run up to their last match of the year. Peter was the one with the neatest writing and had the patience for that sort of thing, so he was the one to actually make the timetable, while James gave a running commentary about how many points they needed in order to win the cup and debated whether it was better to hold practice early in the mornings or just before dinner.

"The problem is that everyone will be tired and grumpy if I get them up at the crack of dawn, but on the other hand what if we run over in the evenings and miss dinner?"

Peter was spared having to answer by Sirius and Remus walking through the portrait hole. James exchanged a look with him; it was the first time they'd seen their friends anywhere near each other by choice, since even at meal times Remus had sat with Lily and in classes they sat so that James was with Remus, and Peter with Sirius.

"Er," Remus said as the two of them sat down at their table - admittedly on opposite sides, but it was progress. "We're okay now. Just so you know"

"Thank Merlin," James said fervently, "I'm terrible at staying mad at people."

"Which I exploit at every opportunity," Sirius joked, and he was relieved when James grinned at him.

"I guess you couldn't resist his puppy eyes, huh?" Peter asked.

"They are my kryptonite," Remus agreed, his gaze flickering up to meet Sirius'.

Only Peter laughed at the reference.


	22. Time Are Changing (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter includes mildly graphic descriptions of violence.

"What the hell do I _wear_?" James asked, staring into his wardrobe with the expression of someone facing a life-altering decision.

"Prongs," Sirius said, "You do realise you're not going out for a fancy dinner or anything, right? You're literally just going outside and putting down a picnic blanket."

James' expression became yet more horrified. _"I don't have a picnic blanket."_

Struggling to keep a straight face, Remus put his hands on James' shoulders, turned him towards him, and said very firmly. "James, I realise this is a very stressful moment in your life, but try to remember that you are in fact a wizard."

"Oh, yeah." James grinned sheepishly. "It's just - it's _Lily_ , you know? I'm actually fairly stunned she even agreed to go on another date with me after the Slug Club fiasco last time."

"I'm not sure that can be counted as a date so much as Evans saying yes to mess with you," Peter put in, but when James scowled at him he quickly backtracked. "Which means this is technically your first date, so it's a fresh start! Just try not to punch anyone this time."

"Thank you for that reassuring pep talk, Wormtail." James dug through his wardrobe and pulled out a button-up shirt that wasn't too rumpled and a pair of black trousers that he normally wore with school robes. "Will this do?"

Remus shook his head. "It screams 'I'm trying too hard', I'm afraid. Go with jeans instead."

"Okay." He swapped the trousers and turned his back to them to start getting changed, which as usual meant he got his glasses caught in his t-shirt as he pulled it off over his head. "What do I do for food? Is sandwiches and stuff too boring?"

"Leave it up to the house elves, mate," Sirius said. "They actually know what they're doing."

One hour and a trip to the kitchens later, James met Lily in the common room, picnic basket in hand and a grin plastered on his face that he couldn't quite seem to get rid of. She was wearing a pink and blue floral dress with a yellow cardigan, and James had to admit she was considerably better at picking clothes than he was.

"Hey."

"Hi," James replied. They just looked at each other for a moment, unsure what to say. James reached for her hand but pulled back in embarrassment when Benjy wolf-whistled at them across the room.

"Bugger off, Fenwick," Lily said, determinedly grabbing James' hand and all but dragging him through the portrait hole.

James' hand was sweaty, and Lily was flushed as they made their way past the groups of other students still littering the corridors. It was almost time for dinner in the Great Hall, but the early summer sun was still high in the sky outside, casting a warm glow through the tall windows and into the castle.

"Did you make the food?" Lily enquired curiously as they approached the entrance hall, but James shook his head, commenting with a laugh that thankfully he did not, as he didn't want to give either of them food poisoning.

Lily smiled back at him, bemused. She couldn't say she'd imagined herself going on another date with James, though an impromptu dinner in the grounds wasn't really anything especially formal. It was nice though, to take a leisurely walk down to the lake, instead of cramming themselves into a booth in a busy cafe or pub, where they were forced to make small talk over too-expensive drinks.

They came to a stop a few feet away from the water's edge and James set down the picnic blanket, putting the basket to one side and sitting down. Lily had considered him a friend for a few months now, had grown to know each of the Gryffindor boys better than she ever expected, and she and James had even fallen into a pleasant sort of repertoire. Now though, he seemed unsure of what exactly to say - afraid that he'd somehow break the spell that had managed to get them to a place where the idea of dating was plausible.

"I'm not going to bite, you know." Lily said, leaning over him to pull the picnic basket closer. "I have been hanging around you _willingly_ for a while now."

"And it continues to amaze me," James said, helping her spread out sandwiches, salad, cold pasta, cheese and crackers, crisps, and cake. He'd been worried everything would get crushed when plates and bowls were packed on top of each other, but the house elves had put some sort of helpful charm on them to make sure that didn't happen. Lastly, he produced a bottle of sparkling wine and a pair of wine flutes.

"Very fancy," Lily said as they clinked their glasses together.

James handed her a plate and started piling food onto his own. "I hope there's enough of everything."

"Unless you invited another ten people on our date, I would imagine so." There was silence as they started digging in, though they kept exchanging glances and smiling. Eventually, Lily said, "Remus and Sirius seem to be getting on okay now."

"Yeah, things are pretty much back to normal," James agreed, "But it was really awkward for a couple of weeks, especially in the dorm. Even after they made up, there was a lot of tension."

"They seem much happier now they've smoothed things over," Lily commented, taking a bite of a cheese and cucumber sandwich. The evening air was pleasant and cool against her skin, and when James didn't immediately reply, she glanced up to see him staring at her intently.

"Are you listening to me?" she asked, smirking slightly. It had been light when they left the castle, but things were quickly growing dim and James' face was shadowed by the nearby trees.

"Of course," James said, sounding offended. "I can both listen and admire – I'm an excellent multitasker."

"Of course, I could tell earlier when Flitwick interrupted your conversation with Sirius to ask the spell for turning vinegar to wine and you said, what was it?"

"Mulled." James replied. "I think that was a good guess, considering." 

Lily grinned at him. "I suppose it was at least on topic." She put down her own wine and turned to James more fully, who was sat cross-legged on the tartan blanket. "Can I ask you a question," she said abruptly.

He froze with a forkful of pasta halfway to his mouth. "I guess?"

"We've been friends for a while now," she said, clearing her throat half way through the sentence, delaying. "Were we only friends because you were trying to get to here? Where I'd agree to go out with you?"

James' expression grew bewildered. "I hadn't really...thought about it that hard? Not that I haven't thought about it - I mean you - us - because I have. A lot. Not like obsessively or anything-" He stopped and forced himself to think before he let any more words escape. "I guess I hoped it would lead to this, but it wasn't like I was trying to manipulate you into going out with me or anything. I just thought... I've liked you for a while and it occurred to me that it's really stupid to want to be in a couple with you if we're not friends. You have to be friends to have a proper relationship, right? And I'm still rambling but my point is that yes, I've wanted to go on a date with you these past few weeks - and the past year, really - but if we try it and decide it's not working, I still want to be your friend, Evans. Lily."

Lily stared at him, her dinner completely forgotten, and couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at his serious expression.

"Good." She said eventually, reaching out to place her hand over James', "because I've actually quite enjoyed getting to know you - not that you can't still be an immature arsehole at times but - I suppose you're also kind of sweet." She squeezed his hand gently, suddenly very aware of their isolation away from the hundreds of people crammed into the great hall. It was growing even darker now, and Lily momentarily let go of James' hand in order to cast a quick incantation and produce a glowing bunch of flames that appeared, unwavering beside them with a bright orange glow and pleasant warmth.

"You," James said firmly, "are a pretty amazing witch. And a pretty incredible person. And I would very much like to kiss you right now."

Lily laughed. "Come here, then," she said, grabbing him by the shirt and tugging him closer, unintentionally pulling a couple of his buttons loose, which neither of them objected to.

It was a quick kiss, sweet and soft and cautious. When they pulled away, they stayed with their lips an inch apart, leaning over plates of food and getting too warm on the side nearest the fire. James had never been this close to Lily, where he could smell her coconut shampoo and taste her strawberry lip gloss. Her eyes were two different shades of green, light as grass around the pupil but darker, like a forest, towards the edge. She had light freckles on her nose that he'd never noticed before. But as much as he loved all that about her, what he loved most was that straight after their kiss, all either of them could do was grin.

* * *

With Lily off on a date, Mary had decided to sit with Alice at the Hufflepuff table at dinner, which was technically against the rules but so far none of the teachers who'd caught her at the wrong table had managed to present a good reason as to why she couldn't sit there - so she kept doing it. When they left the great hall, Alice was halfway through telling her about how Professor Kettleburn had nearly been impaled by a unicorn in Care of Magical Creatures, and to hear the rest of the story Mary had walked part of the way towards the Hufflepuff common room.

"I can't believe he spent the whole lesson telling the boys to be careful because unicorns prefer girls then ignored his own advice," Mary said, laughing.

"Exactly! I swear that man is going to lose his other hand if he's not careful."

"Wouldn't surprise me." Mary stopped as they reached one of the smaller staircases. "Now I'm going to have to love you and leave you unless I transfer to Hufflepuff."

"I wish you could!" Alice exclaimed. "But then again, who would interrogate Lily about her date if you weren't in her dorm?"

"An excellent point," Mary said. "I'll make sure she tells you everything in Herbology tomorrow. See you then!"

"Go left at the top of the stairs and there's a shortcut behind the big painting of a giraffe," Alice advised her, and after another round of goodbyes Mary took the stairs two at a time and found the painting with the secret passage behind it. She swung it open, wondering if Lily would be back by the time she got back to the dorm.

When she got to the other end of the passage and pushed back a heavy tapestry, she would've been pleased that it ended in the part of the second floor corridor that was near the charms classroom, if it weren't for the group of Slytherin boys that were only a few metres away from her.

She recognised Snape immediately, even though she could only see the back of his head from where she was standing, but it took a moment for her to figure out who the others were. The two tallest boys were seventh years, she knew, and one of them was a prefect - Dolohov, that was his name. She couldn't remember what the other one was called, but she had once seen him use a hex to trip over a couple of first years before. The last two boys were a bit younger, and while she didn't know who the blond-haired boy was, the other looked extremely familiar. It was only when he looked over at her that she recognised his grey eyes: remarkably similar to his brother's.

Defiantly, Mary started to walk towards them to get to the staircase leading to her common room, keeping as far to the other side of the corridor as possible. They were peering into a classroom window and talking in low voices - obviously up to no good. Regulus was the only one who seemed to have noticed her, and had gladly turned his attention back to the older boys, so Mary was able to slip past them largely unnoticed - until she heard what they were talking about.

"It's a genetic defect." The seventh year Mary didn't know said, staring purposefully at the younger boys. "Mudbloods have no business harnessing magic that doesn't belong to them."

"They're a disease," Dolohov added, nodding reverently at his friend. "One day we'll be rid of them for good – mudbloods and muggles - they're weak, inferior."

"So -" Regulus said, raising his hand slightly as he spoke, as if unsure of how to interact with the older boys. "We want to have power of them?" he asked, genuine curiosity evident in his tone. "How is that even possible?"

"There are ways," the seventh year said, and his name suddenly came clearly to Mary's mind; she'd seen him a couple of weeks ago at the Slytherin vs Ravenclaw match, when he'd knocked a muggleborn Ravenclaw clean of her broom for no reason at all. Mulciber. From what she knew, he was cruel and fanatical, and now he was wrapping his arm around Sirius' brother, leaning down with a horrible grin as he said, "you'd be surprised how easy it is sometimes, to find ways."

She'd heard enough.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" she said loudly, walking back towards them. All five of them turned towards her almost in unison, but while the younger boys stepped back and Snape frowned, Mulciber and Dolohov exchanged a dangerous look. "Not only are you spouting completely prejudiced, hateful bullshit - you're trying to teach people younger than you to be just as terrible as both of you are. I happen to be a "mudblood" and I have just as much as right to be learning magic at Hogwarts as you do."

"Is that right?" Dolohov smirked, taking a step towards Mary, who held her ground. "You know sweetheart," he mocked, "you should really keep information like that to yourself, or you could end up getting hurt."

He drew his wand unexpectedly from the inside pocket of his cloak, pointing it at Mary's chest before she had the chance to register what was happening.

It was like being hit by a truck. The spell crashed into her full on, pushing her backwards into the wall. The impact forced the air from her lungs and her head cracked sharply against the stone, causing a trickle of warm blood to run down her neck.

She pressed her hands against the wall for support and managed to stay on her feet, but her vision had gone dark and when she reached for her wand, she found her pocket empty. As the blackness in front of her eyes began to recede, she looked desperately for her wand, and saw it lying by Snape's feet, where it must have rolled when it fell from her pocket. He slowly picked it up, and for the smallest moment she thought he might be about to give it back to her, but he just slipped it in his pocket. She was defenceless and outnumbered.

Mulciber came towards her, his pace leisurely as though he had all the time in the world, and when he reached her he stood over her and leered. Twirling his wand but keeping its tip pointed towards her, he said, "You see, you're really no match for purebloods. Magic belongs to us, and we know dark spells you could never dream of harnessing." The wand stilled in his hand. "For example..."

With a flick of his wrist, pain tore through her. She slid to the floor, staring down at the slash in her robes where blood was starting to seep out. Everything felt strangely distant, like her brain wasn't quite registering what she was seeing, but she was able to hear what Mulciber said next.

"And that, boys, is how you show the mudbloods that real wizards are superior."


	23. Times Are Changing (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter includes mildly graphic descriptions of violence.

Sirius and Peter were on their way to detention. In Sirius' case, it was his second of the day, having already served one that afternoon with McGonagall, who was unrelenting in his punishment after the incident with Snape. This time it was because he and Peter had been caught drawing rather unsavoury doodles in their muggle studies textbooks, which the professor had apparently found distasteful, rather than hilarious, which Sirius maintained they were. It was slightly irksome that they had to spend the evening sitting in silence writing lines, when they could have been in the dorm waiting for James' return, or playing exploding snap with Remus. The castle was largely empty as they made their way down to the first floor; most people having eaten their fill at dinner and returned to the common rooms for the night. As they sped down the stairs to the second floor though, the sound of laughter filtered through the corridors towards them. Having no interest in whoever was causing trouble, Sirius fully intended to ignore the sound, until it was punctured by what sounded horribly like a scream.

"What was -?" Peter asked, turning towards him, but Sirius had already bounded down the remaining stairs to the second floor, heading towards the source of the commotion.

He stopped when he saw the Slytherin boys at the end of the corridor. They were hunched around in a group, saying things that Sirius couldn't quite make out, but their tone sent chills down his spine. He recognised his brother first, standing at the back of the group with Rosier, staring at the older boys, who were advancing on someone who was pinned against the wall.

"Is that Mary?" Peter asked, clearly panicked as they watched from a distance. Mulciber was at the front of the pack, his wand hovering over Mary as he laughed, and it wasn't until he raised his wand with the clear intention of casting another spell that Sirius noticed the sickening sight of blood on Mary's robes.

"Expelliarmus!" Peter called out, and all of a sudden everything was in free fall. Mulciber's wand flew out of his hand before he could finish his curse, and in unison the five Slytherins turned toward them. Snape scowled, eyes full of rage, and Dolohov immediately turned his wand on Peter, blasting out a curse that would easily have hit its mark if Sirius hadn't grabbed Peter by the shoulder and hauled him out of the way. Then he was running towards Mary, who in the moment of inattention from the Slytherin's had slid down the wall, holding the gash in her stomach. He didn't stop running when he reached her; the fury was too raw as the seventh years stood staring at him, one wandless and the other clearly shocked by his nerve. He collided with Mulciber at speed, knocking both of them to the ground with a thud, and it wasn't until Peter's hex knocked Dolohov to the floor next to them that Sirius stopped punching him. His knuckles were bruised and painful, and his ears were ringing so loudly that he barely heard the commotion of a teacher arriving until he noticed Regulus and Rosier running for the end of the corridor, their robes swinging around the corner. Sirius was pulled backwards off Mulciber by some invisible force and set upon his feet. He gazed with some unbidden glee at the blood pouring from the other boy's nose.

"What is happening here?" Dumbledore demanded, keeping him and Peter away from the remaining Slytherins with his spell. "Who did this?"

The headmaster was angrier than Sirius had ever seen him, and there was a white hot fury in his voice. Sirius bent down beside Mary, who reached out and gripped his robes.

"I need to get her to the hospital wing," Sirius said at once, wrapping one arm around her waist and attempting to steady her as she got shakily to her feet. "He attacked her, look. If we hadn't stopped him –

"It's true," Peter put in, nodding desperately, "it looked like they wanted to kill her!"

Snape looked hesitantly at the headmaster, pulling Mary's wand out of his pocket as if it was some kind of peace offering. Dumbledore took it with a frown and turned to the seventh years, who seemed unsure of whether or not they should argue.

"It's easy enough to see what the last spells you cast were," he told them coldly, holding out his hand expectantly, "hand over your wands and we'll discuss this in my office. Mr Black, Mr Pettigrew, please do get Miss MacDonald to the hospital wing."

There were cries of outrage from the three boys, but Sirius didn't stick around to hear them complain. They weren't far from the hospital, and he was eager to get Mary there as quickly as possible. He knew that really she hadn't lost that much blood, not in comparison to the wounds he saw on Remus every month - but a sense of dread had pooled in his stomach, where the fury and fear had curdled into something much worse. He'd though, hoped, that these sort of things didn't happen outside the mad ramblings of his parents and the seemingly far off attacks he’d read about in the Daily Prophet. Clearly, he'd been wrong.

"Go out to the grounds and fetch Lily," Sirius instructed Peter. "I'll get her to Madame Pomfrey."

* * *

Mary was conscious, but not alert. From Sirius' arms, the stone ceilings above were a blur and she couldn't really tell where they were going. At one point, she thought they must be going down stairs because with each step a jolt went through her. Her bloody robes were sticking to the long gash down her torso and with every movement they rubbed painfully against the wound.

A door creaked as Sirius pushed it open with his back, and when they entered the room everything looked whiter. She didn't realise why until she was put down on a bed and Madam Pomfrey appeared in her field of vision, with Sirius hovering anxiously nearby.

"Miss MacDonald?" she said urgently. "Mary? Do you know where you are?"

"Hospital wing," Mary replied groggily.

"That's right, and I'm going to make sure you walk out of here good as new. Here, drink this - it's a blood-replenishing potion."

Madam Pomfrey steadied Mary's hand as she drank the thick red liquid. "It tastes like cough medicine," she said, then, "Oh, everything's less fuzzy."

"It's fast-acting," Madam Pomfrey explained. "Now Mr Black, perhaps you ought to leave, as I'll have to take off Miss MacDonald's shirt to close the wound."

"It's okay, I've seen it before."

Mary scowled at him. "Seeing as you just carried me here, I'll let you off for saying that." To Madam Pomfrey, she added, "I don't mind if he stays."

"Very well." She carefully used her wand to split what was left of Mary's shirt down the middle.

"Oh." Mary looked down at the wound for the first time. "That looks bad,” she said, still a little groggily. “That looks really extremely not good. Am I okay?"

Madam Pomfrey smiled reassuringly. "I've seen much worse, don't you worry. You're going to be fine. Now, do you feel able to tell me what happened or shall Mr Black explain?"

Mary explained everything while the cut was numbed, washed, and closed up. Looking at the cut made her feel sick so she talked to the back of Madam Pomfrey's head, but Sirius didn't seem squeamish at all. He perched next to her on the bed and didn't even seem to notice that he had her blood all down his front.

When the wound was dealt with, she sat up with Sirius' help so that Madam Pomfrey could take a look at the injury at the back of her head. Now that she'd relived what had happened, she couldn't help replaying it in her head, and as the initial shock faded she found herself crying.

When Madam Pomfrey went to her office in search of some more potions, Sirius squeezed her hand. "I wish I'd got there sooner."

"I wish I hadn't picked a fight with them." Mary tried to wipe away her tears, only to realise her hand was covered in blood. Frustrated, she hit the mattress beneath her with her fist, which just made her feel childish.

"It wasn't your fault," Sirius said, handing her a box of tissues from the bedside table so she could wipe her hands clean. "The bastards who did this are the ones who should be regretting what they did, not you."

"I know, I just... Actually, no, you're right. I was right to stand up to them. Now they won't get away with all the things they were saying about muggleborns, and everyone can see exactly how awful all those pureblood extremists are. I mean, God, I've been saying Snape's a prejudiced dick for years, even when we were on civil terms because of Lily. Not that he did anything, but - well, that's the point. He did nothing. He just fucking stood there while I-" Her voice broke and a few more tears slid down her cheeks. "I hate them. All of them. The Slytherins can all just go to hell."

She had expected Sirius to agree with her, and when he said nothing she turned to look at him, moving as little as possible because Madam Pomfrey's numbing spell was beginning to wear off and everything ached.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said eventually, looking up at her with a strange expression. "I've heard that shit they spout all my life but I never thought that - even my brother was there. It's disgusting. I can't believe they did this to you."

There wasn't much Mary could say to that, so it was a relief when the doors burst open and Lily, James and Peter hurried in. Lily ran straight over to Mary's bed, her expression swinging between worry and rage as she took in Mary's injuries.

"Are you okay?" Lily demanded, not quite as kindly as she hoped for. Anger at the situation Peter had described had got to her rather more than she'd intended, and now all she wanted to do was run after whoever had done this to her friend and teach them a lesson. "That's a stupid question, sorry," she clarified with an attempt at a smile, "how are you?"

Mary tried to smile back and failed even more dismally than Lily. "Well my head is killing and I look like someone tried to dissect me, so I could be better."

"Don't say that," Lily said, calming slightly as she took the seat that Sirius vacated for her. "Seriously, you're going to be okay. I will personally make sure that Dumbledore does something about this, they should be expelled." She patted Mary's arm gently, scared to touch her too much in case she made the injuries worse. "I know you're scared," she pressed on when Mary didn't answer, "but they're wrong. We have just as much of a right to magic as they do, they're just some stupid extremists looking for a bit of power."

"They won't get it." James added. "We'll talk to Dumbledore and make sure that everyone at school knows they can't get away with using dark magic, or hurting people because of their blood status."

Lily nodded eagerly, but all Mary saw was Sirius' expression from where he was hovering behind them, staring at the back of James' head with a look that quite clearly told her he didn't think anything they said would make a difference, not in the long run.

Mary was inclined to agree. Still, she squeezed Lily's hand and nodded at James, managing a small smile before Madam Pomfrey returned from her office holding a bottle of a purple potion. "I just had to add the finishing ingredients - sleeping potions work twice as fast when they're freshly brewed." She poured a glass and handed it to Mary. "Drink up, now. By the time it wears off, you'll be fully healed."

Mary nearly protested that Lily had only just got there, but there were some things that even her best friend's presence couldn't make better. Hoping that she wouldn't feel so awful when she woke up, she downed the potion and within seconds was sound asleep.


	24. Quidditch Cup

It was early June, a month when the sun lazily made its way across the sky and James wanted nothing more than to be out on his broom, speeding along with the breeze racing past him and the sunshine heating his back. Since he was stuck in the castle for most of the day, this led to the unfortunate habit of spending his classes looking longingly out the window and only focusing when someone managed a particularly impressive - or disastrous - bit of magic.

He was therefore unsurprised when McGonagall told him to stay behind after class - and Sirius, too. James wasn't quite sure what Sirius had done to deserve a telling off, but he had been paying so little attention that Sirius could probably have transfigured his desk into a hippogriff and he might not have noticed.

James was expecting McGonagall to say something along the lines of "if you are going to waste my classes staring out the window, Mr Potter, then I might as well make use of you and allow the other students to practice turning you into a dressing table," but for once he wasn't being told off.

"James," McGonagall said seriously, putting her books down on her desk and glancing at him over the brim of her glasses. "How are the Quidditch team coming along for the last match?"

When he didn't immediately reply, she shook her head and added, "I hope you know that I have five galleons riding on the outcome of this match, not to mention my pride, since Professor Flitwick has taken to gloating about the Ravenclaw's victories these past two years."

"Well," James replied, "I wasn't captain for the last two years, was I?" She responded to his grin with the exasperated look that she gave him so often it was now the only way he could picture her. "Honestly, Professor, we've got this. This is our year."

"Of course," McGonagall said doubtfully. If anything, she looked even more concerned than before, but James didn't miss the small smile she gave him before turning to Sirius. "I suppose I should relieve Mr. Black from his fine run of detentions - just to make sure he's prepared for the match."

"Really?" Sirius said, surprised. Cleaning out the trophy room and grading the work of first years had almost become second nature since the incident with Snape.

"Don't make me regret it," she replied sternly, shaking her head in reply to Sirius' smirk. "You boys had better win that match."

* * *

It was going to be a close one. Gryffindor needed to be thirty points ahead of Ravenclaw when Chloe caught the snitch in order for them to win the cup. James could see Chloe's frustration every time she caught a glimpse of the snitch and had to pelt off in the opposite direction to throw off the Ravenclaw seeker. Sirius and Kingsley had been focusing so much on not letting the other seeker catch it that they'd barely had time to keep the bludgers away from the chasers, and James had the bruises to prove it. The scores had been all over the place ever since the match started, and after two hours the crowd were beginning to grow bored and the players were aching, their Quidditch robes soaked in sweat.

The Ravenclaw keeper was good - really, really good - and the one time they'd just about managed to get a thirty-point lead, Chloe had zipped after the snitch only to have a Ravenclaw beater slam into her. It was a foul, of course, but by the time James had taken and missed their penalty goal, the snitch was long gone. The longer the match went on, the dirtier it became, and a player from each team had been injured badly enough to be sent to the hospital wing. Benjy, cradling a broken wrist, had protested fiercely at not even being allowed to watch the rest of the match, but the referee hadn't taken no for an answer.

But now - finally - they had another chance. Mary had scored two goals in a row and they were thirty points ahead again. Sirius and Kingsley were guarding Chloe so fiercely that James suspected they'd simply hit anyone who came too close with their bats instead of bothering with the bludgers. Marlene had just saved a goal but the Ravenclaws had three remaining chasers against Gryffindor's two, and there was only so long they could keep their lead for.

It was, surprisingly, Kingsley who spotted the snitch first. He gave Chloe a meaningful look and nodded in the direction of the fluttering golden ball that glimmered as it caught the sun, but the Ravenclaw seeker had seen it too and she was closer.

"Go on, Chloe!" James roared, but no amount of shouting could make her broom go faster. The Ravenclaw pulled upwards after the snitch, Chloe right on her heels, but there was no way she could catch up. Unless -

 _Wham._ A bludger knocked into the Ravenclaw seeker, slamming into her shoulder so hard it was a miracle she even stayed on her broom. Chloe dived below her to avoid a collision, and then she was closing on the snitch, leaning forward, reaching out...

* * *

The roar when Chloe caught the snitch was deafening.

Sirius watched as she raised her hand above her head, circling the pitch and displaying the small golden ball to the crowds. Kingsley slapped him on the shoulder, grinning widely and shouting over the cheer of the crowd - he and Marlene had been particularly nervous about the outcome of the match, he knew, since it was the last one they'd play before leaving school for good.

"GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR!" James yelled along with the chant of the crowd, heading towards Sirius as they flew lower towards the ground. He did two loops on his broom, his crimson robes slapping against the top Sirius' head as he spun upside down before righting himself, much to the wonder of the crowd, who only cheered more loudly.

When they finally landed, the first thing James did was fling himself onto Sirius' back so suddenly that Sirius only just had time to catch the back of knees. He was screaming and cheering, ruffling Sirius' hair as a good number of the Gryffindor spectators rushed down from the stands and out onto the pitch. He joined in the chants of, 'GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR!' as he and the rest of the team were engulfed by the other students. People were patting him on the back and whooping and Sirius didn't even know that his friends were in front of him until Peter had flung an arm around his shoulders and Remus was stood in front of him with wind-blown hair and one of James' ill-fitting Quidditch jerseys riding up too far on his arms.

"Not a bad match I suppose," he said, but he was absolutely beaming.

Lily was the next one to fight her way through the crowd towards them, a Gryffindor scarf draped around her shoulders despite the heat and strands of her hair sticking to her forehead. James slipped off Sirius' back just in time for Lily to collide with him, sending him stumbling backwards. She hugged him, screaming "you did it!" in his ear over the noise of the crowd around them. When she pulled back, she looked like she was going to say something more, but she just shook her head and kissed him instead.

It was the first time they'd kissed since their date, what with Lily taking care of Mary and James focusing on Quidditch, and he had to admit that he hadn't expected their second kiss to be in front of quite so many people. When they broke apart, James stared at her for so long that her smile wavered, but then he grinned wider than before - if that was even possible.

He was looking around for Chloe to congratulate her on a fantastic catch when he found McGonagall in front of him. Her eyes looked a little teary behind her glasses as she put her hands on James' shoulders and - much to his complete and utter surprise - pulled him into a hug. If he'd still been on his broom, he'd probably have fallen off from the shock.

"Ahem," McGonagall said, stepping back and awkwardly patting James on the shoulder. "Well, yes, very well done Mr Potter - and you too, Mr Black, Miss MacDonald. A fantastic victory." A look of triumph took over her features. "And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find Filius - he owes me five galleons."

* * *

Even though the match had gone on for longer than expected, it seemed just the right time for the Gryffindors to head down to the lake and take in the late afternoon sun. House elves appeared seemingly from nowhere with baskets of food and pumpkin juice, and Sirius could have sworn that he saw McGonagall herding them back into the castle before any of the other teachers noticed. He was sitting beside Remus under the shadow of a tree, with Peter a little way in front of them talking to Frank, and James standing nearby, whispering to Lily in a way that would be nauseating if Sirius wasn't quite so happy for them.

Sirius glanced at Remus, who had paused with a drink halfway to his lips in order to pull a stubborn bit of lint off the Quidditch shirt. He must be too warm with the long sleeves that James usually only wore for training in winter, he thought briefly, and frowned before Remus caught him looking and asked "what's wrong?"

"Nothing Moony, just wondering if we could have stopped Prongs getting quite so bruised up – don't want him losing any more brain cells, you know." He tried to laugh, but knew from Remus' puzzled smile that he suspected Sirius wasn't telling the truth.

Since Snape had found out about Remus' condition, things had been different. He didn't know how to explain it, because it wasn't that Remus was still mad - he seemed relatively relaxed about the whole thing if Sirius was honest. It was just - different. Sirius was careful even when he didn't mean to be, and he could imagine how frustrating it must be, really could, but still didn't seem able to stop. Jokes suddenly felt like he was making a fool of himself and he ended up ruining the punch line, he found himself thinking about distinctly grown up things like _feelings_ and _responsibility_ , and had a few times caught himself stealing Remus' books, reading something called _Moby Dick_ , which had been a let down on content given the title.

However, with the sun high in the sky, the elation of his classmates rippling the air around him, and Remus wafting the sweat from under his shirt in a way that Sirius couldn't quite bring himself to think of a gross, given the temperature, it was easy to forget about such trivial worries. "You sure you're alright?" Remus asked when he caught him staring for the second time. "I'm good," he said, raising a cream bun he grabbed from a nearby plate in a mock salute and biting into it messily just as he noticed the sound of Benjy running down the hill from the castle, cheering all the while with his arm still in a sling and a hospital gown tucked into his shorts.

* * *

"I think this is turning into one of those parties where everyone pairs off," Lily observed, claiming a basket of food and pulling James down to sit next to her. They ended up with their legs and shoulders pressed against each other despite the abundant room around them, but Lily didn't seem to mind and James certainly didn't. He wondered whether they were officially a couple - they had, as Lily said, paired off, and she had kissed him in front of the whole school, so...

He must have waited too long to reply because Lily lightly elbowed him in the ribs, managing to avoid his many bruises, and gestured with a fork towards Benjy and Chloe, before spearing a tomato with it. The two of them were clinking bottles of butterbeer together and laughing at something one of them had said, which seemed quite normal for them until James noticed they were holding hands.

"That's new," he commented.

"She's totally going to kiss him," Lily predicted. "Look, she's leaning towards him like - there, see!"

Chloe had stood on her toes to kiss Benjy, grinning as he turned bright red.

"Knew it," Lily said. "They've been looking at each other like lovestruck puppies for weeks."

James tried very hard to make sure his face didn't at all resemble a lovestruck puppy.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked. "Your face is weird."

"Er, yeah, I just" - James decided this was the moment to ask whether they were actually dating or not, but then he considered that they'd be going away for summer soon and he didn't want to ruin everything, otherwise they'd grow distant while they were apart and would be too awkward to write letters and he didn't want to wait until autumn to fix things, so the words got stuck on the way to his mouth and instead he said, "Do you want to come on holiday with me?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Bold move, Potter. A holiday is above and beyond my expectations for our second date."

Supressing the elation that she wanted a second date, James clarified, "Not just us - the others are coming too. We're going on a caravan holiday."

"I see. And do the others know you're inviting me?"

"Honestly, Evans, I didn't know I was inviting you until thirty seconds ago."

She laughed. "Well if it's okay with everyone, then sure, I'd love to come – though I must be mad to want to share a caravan with four boys."


	25. Summer Holiday

His Uncle Alphard had done alright for himself, Sirius reflected as he made his way down the narrow staircase to the ground floor. The old house was full of beams that Sirius wasn't particularly fond of, and it was definitely smaller than what Alphard would have been used to before he disassociated himself from the family, but it was also in the middle of the lush countryside - much more desolate than the Potters' house - with fields that seemed to stretch on for miles. Sirius thought the open space and late July sun made it the perfect place for flying, but when he'd mentioned so to Alphard, he'd just laughed at the comment, and told him that the last time he was on a broom he'd broken too many bones to count.

What Alphard did have, though, was a motorbike. Sirius recognised it instantly as a similar model to the glossy pictures he'd secured to his bedroom walls at Grimmauld Place years ago, minus the scantily clad woman that had been as rebellious as he'd dared at the time. The bike was black and sleek, if a little beat up, and when he asked where Alphard had got it from the man just shook his head as though thinking of a fond memory and told Sirius he'd been working on fixing it up.

"Do you want to take her for spin?" he'd asked, apparently unconcerned by the fact that Sirius had never driven before.

Of course, he had jumped at the opportunity, and the majority of the two weeks he'd spent with his uncle had been spent racing across the fields, scaring the shit out of birds and learning how to turn corners just right so as not to go head first into one of the fences. The first time he'd tried it, he'd made it barely the length of the driveway in a straight line before jolting alarmingly to the left and falling head first onto the dusty gravel. Thankfully, he'd improved quite a lot since then, and although he was looking forward to getting back to the Potters', he was quite sad to say goodbye to the only member of his family who'd paid him any semblance of positive attention in years.

"I'm glad you decided to come," Alphard smiled when he reached the bottom of the stairs, "I'd quite forgotten what it was like to feel like a teenager."

Sirius laughed, a strange surge of warmth towards the man welling up in his chest. It had been slightly awkward when he'd first arrived, being alone with a family member he hadn't seen in ten years, but Alphard joked easily, and seemed content to let Sirius do as he pleased around the house – a sure fire way to win his favour after years with his overbearing parents.

"It was fun," Sirius replied, and despite his reservations upon receiving his Uncle's invitation, he found that he really meant it.

"I thought perhaps instead of using the floo, you might want to take the bike with you."

"What?" Sirius said, stopping half way to the living room.

"Well I hardly have any use for it these days," Alphard chuckled, gesturing to himself.

"You're not that old," Sirius argued, but he still followed his uncle towards the front door.

"I should hope not!" Alphard agreed, "but I never took to riding like you have, she'd be happier with you. And don't be modest now, what seventeen year old boy doesn't want a motorcycle to show off to his friends? It'll be quite a hit with the ladies I should think."

"You're really giving me this?" Sirius asked as the keys were pushed into his hand. “I don’t even have a driver’s licence.”

“Nothing a good confundus charm won’t take care of,” Alphard said with a wink. “Just be careful, and take good care of her.”

* * *

He ended up arriving back at the Potters' later than expected. Alphard's house wasn't too far a drive, but it was significantly slower than flooing, especially when Sirius was unfamiliar with the roads, and had to stop twice on the way back to ask unsuspecting passers-by for directions. When he finally made it back to the house, James, Lily, Remus and Peter were lingering around the front porch, all dressed in an arrangement of brightly coloured summer shorts and tops that made Sirius smile.

"Well that looks…potentially lethal," Remus commented, eyeing the bike warily.

Remus was not alone in thinking that riding around on a half-tonne hunk of metal was less than safe, especially after only two weeks of learning how to ride it, and even when Sirius insisted he knew exactly what he was doing, Mrs Potter convinced him to leave it in their garage while they went on holiday - much to everyone's relief.

It was then time for them to leave, as afternoon was fading into evening and the sinking sun was casting long shadows across the Potters' front lawn.

"Be safe," Mrs Potter said, hugging each of them (causing Lily to shoot Remus a slightly startled look, not being used to James' parents' habit of semi-adopting any teenager who wandered into their house).

"Don't hesitate to tell us if you have any problems," Mr Potter added. "I know you're all very capable of taking care of yourselves, but you do tend to end up in trouble as often as not." He gave James and Sirius - who, of course, tried their best to look innocent - a look that was meant to be stern but was betrayed by the corners of his lips twitching upwards.

And then they were off. James had recently passed his apparition test, which he'd be too young to do when the rest of them had taken it in March, which saved them the bother of flying or getting a portkey set up. For what must have been the fifth time, Peter showed everyone the picture of where they were going, and they all picked up their luggage, shut their eyes, pictured their destination in their minds, and span on the spot.

When Sirius opened his eyes, he was standing in a field just outside of the caravan site, far enough away that no muggles would have seen them appear out of thin air.

"Everyone okay?" he asked. They were all standing within ten feet of each other, their expressions ranging from mildly dazed to nauseous.

"For once, I'm splinch-free," Peter declared, and everyone else looked down at themselves to check they hadn't left any body parts behind.

"Always a good start," James said. "Now let's go find our caravan, shall we?"

They all followed him to the little shack that acted as a reception area, but James quickly became very confused when he couldn't find the reservation number, and Sirius was just about to produce a handful of galleons from his pocket, so Remus, Lily and Peter took over.

When they finally found their caravan, it was past 7pm and all any of them could think about was food. After a quick scuffle over beds (Lily and Sirius won the two top bunks and Peter got what he optimistically called a sofa bed but was really just a sofa), and a glance at the kitchen, which was pretty much just a hob and a single cupboard with a patch of mould in the corner, they declared themselves settled in and went in search of dinner.

* * *

Besides the place where they checked in and the bathrooms at the other side of the field where the tents were, the only other building on the campsite was a large pebble-dashed 'clubhouse' with a slanted roof and cheerful neon signs on the windows claiming that they offered a 'bar, food and games'. Warily, the five of them made their way inside, and were pleasantly surprised that the interior of the bar was actually fairly nice, with decent looking tables and booths scattered around one side of the large room, where a number of people were already eating and drinking, and pool tables, foosball and slot machines on the other side.

"What on earth is that?" James asked as they walked past one of the slot machines in all of its flashing, whirling glory.

"It's for gambling," Lily laughed, and pulled him towards the nearest, comfiest looking booth.

They ordered burgers, chips and two pitchers of beer. Lily didn't bother asking how the boys managed to get served when there was a sign behind the bar strictly declaring that everyone under the age of 21 must show ID, but she strongly suspected magic had been involved.

The food was nothing special, but it satisfied their rumbling stomachs, and with no other ideas for how to spend their night, they settled upon drinking their way through as much beer as possible. James went to the bar and Lily obligingly followed to help him with the muggle money.

"I think purebloods should all have to take muggle studies because you're so confused by the simplest things," she said. "A hundred pence fitting into one pound makes way more sense than wizard money. And telephones are much more efficient than owls and there are options other than robes for when it's this hot, which most adults don't seem to realise."

"Certain halfbloods who may or may not live within half a mile of you could do with studying it too," James said. He then shot her a worried look. "I mean, I know he's your friend and all"

"My friend? Seriously?" Lily handed over some cash to the bartender. "Snape hasn't be my friend for over a year, James. Do you think I'd be friends with someone who called me a mudblood? Who stood by and watched Mary get attacked? No matter how close we used to be, those aren't things I'll ever forgive."

"He never deserved you," James said solemnly.

"Neither do you," she replied, but she grinned.

* * *

By the time they'd finished off their third pitcher of beer, Lily was feeling well and truly giddy. The bar had filled up significantly since they'd been there, and now that food had stopped being served, the music was louder and there was a distinct feeling of a 'package holiday' that reminded her of the few trips she'd taken to Wales with her family in the summers when she was younger. She didn't even notice she was leaning against James' arm until he shifted beside her and casually draped it over her shoulders.

Sirius rolled his eyes at them and she stuck out her tongue in response.

She quickly lost track of what the boys were talking about, too busy watching the crowd around them to pay attention, but when Peter returned with yet more drinks she couldn't help but notice the girl with curly black hair who watched him slide back into their booth with a slight tilt of her head.

She was standing apart from a number of other people who were most likely her family, tapping on the edge of a bar stool in a manner that suggested she was bored and didn't know what to do with herself.

Lily felt a pang of sympathy for the girl, knowing how much she'd hate to be in a crowded bar alone, so it was with a smile that she leant across the table towards Peter, interrupting whatever he was about to say to Sirius, and whispered, "don't look now but the cute girl at the bar is checking you out."

"What!?" Peter squeaked, and did exactly what Lily had told him not to, looking towards the girl before turning back to them with a faint blush creeping up his neck.

"What's this, Wormy?" Sirius asked from next to him, craning his neck around to get a better look at the girl Lily had indicated. "Huh, it looks like Evans was right."

"Don't sound so surprised!" Peter said, shoving Sirius in the ribs. Then he looked to James and hissed, "should I say something to her?"

"Absolutely!" James said, gesturing over the table at Peter in a way that betrayed just how much he'd had to drink. "The night is ours my friend, grab it by the horns and er…" – he looked to Lily for help, but she only raised an eyebrow at him – "ride it?" he finished weakly.

"I think what Prongs means to say," Remus corrected, "is that you should go and talk to her Pete."

"Right." Peter agreed, nodding determinedly and straightening the collar of his shirt. "Okay."

"Good luck mate!" Sirius bellowed into his ear, shoving him good naturedly out of his seat.

The four of them watched him wander over to the other side of the bar and say something to the girl, who immediately smiled and laughed.

"Wow," James said, leaning back in his seat. "Pete's actually got game."

"Don't be rotten," Lily said mildly, swatting at his arm. "He's not bad looking."

"Careful Prongs," Sirius joked, "maybe Evans is secretly after one of us."

James looked momentarily panicked, but the sound of commotion from across the bar caught his attention again before he could reply.

The girl's family seemed to be leaving, and although she looked reluctant to follow, the disappointed look on Peter's face indicated that she probably had to. Her family left in a rush of drunken chants and in the minute she had before following them, Lily saw her lean closer to Peter, taking his hand for a moment before disappearing with a cheerful wave.

Peter stumbled back to the table in somewhat of a happy haze. He held his left hand up proudly, which had the number 17 written on it in what Lily recognised as eyeliner.

"Number of her caravan," Peter beamed proudly. "Says we can do something tomorrow."

"Ha! Not bad mate," Sirius cheered, clapping Peter on the back so hard that he nearly knocked him out of his seat again.

* * *

It was a good thing that they'd not stayed up too late, because Peter hated sleeping in an unfamiliar bed and, despite his best efforts to keep quiet, woke them all up at 7am. It was bad enough in a dorm room, but when they were all crammed into a tiny space it was next to impossible not to wake everyone up. Remus threw his pillow at Peter and burrowed back under the covers, Sirius nearly fell four feet to the floor before remembering that he was in the top bunk, James had to look through all of the very limited storage spaces before finding where he'd drunkenly put his glasses, and Lily beat everyone to the bathroom.

When they were all up and dressed, they were pleased to discover that the clubhouse served breakfast from 8am, and they ordered everything from toast to pancakes to fill them up for their first proper day of holidaying.

Once they began making plans for the day, they found that they all wanted to do different things. Sirius and Remus wanted to head into the nearest town centre, James and Lily wanted to explore the woodland behind the caravan site, and Peter wanted to go see the muggle girl from caravan 17.

They split up, and James got what he'd both hoped for and dreaded: alone time with Lily. He was excruciatingly aware that their dates so far had ended in 1) him punching Snape and Lily yelling at him, and 2) Mary being attacked by a bunch of elitist pureblood Slytherins. While the second one was most definitely not his fault, it wasn't exactly the best track record.

The woods were quiet but not lonely, with sunlight breaking through the leaves of the trees and the shouts of excited children carrying towards them. They talked about their plans for the rest of the summer and Peter's new girlfriend, and after a while James worked up the courage to take Lily's hand.

"Slow down there," Lily joked, "or I might get the wrong idea."

James' free hand jumped self-consciously to his hair, which it was prone to doing almost of its own accord, and his cheeks began to turn red.

"Er, about that," he said. "Are we - you know - a thing?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Care to be more specific?"

"I mean - are we a couple? Officially? We just sort of had that date and then you kissed me at Quidditch and now we're on holiday together and I don't really know what this - us - is."

He said all of this much too quickly, and then grew steadily more nervous at Lily's contemplative silence. She tugged him over to a fallen tree and sat down on the mossy bark.

"Do you want us to be a couple?" she asked.

"Well - yeah. Of course I do."

"Then I guess that answers that question. You want us to be a couple, I want us to be a couple, so the only sensible course of action is for us to declare this an official relationship."

He nodded. "Okay," he said, his face splitting into a grin. "I guess that makes me your boyfriend."

"I must be mad," Lily said dryly.

* * *

Sirius was in the middle of pulling on a cooler t-shirt when Remus poked his head around the doorframe of the caravan.

"Christ Moony, give a bloke a bit of warning would you?" Sirius said, pulling the shirt down over his chest before shrugging on his leather jacket. Even though he’d changed in front of his friends hundreds of times over the six years they’d shared a dorm for, he felt suddenly self-conscious in the sticky heat.

Remus frowned at him. "Did you just change your shirt and then put a massive jacket back on over the top? You're going to boil out there."

Sirius contemplated this, biting back a scathing remark before shrugging his shoulders non-committedly.

Remus sighed, before stepping into the caravan and frowning at him some more. "This has to stop."

"Me wearing clothes?"

"You doing," Remus gestured vaguely in front of himself, "whatever it is you're doing. Like you want to say something to me and then you stop. I get that you were doing it for my benefit at first but Sirius, I promise you, I am over the Snape thing. So can you please walk into town with me and stop sodding worrying so much?"

"Er..." Sirius said, looking at the frustrated line of Remus' brow. "Yeah," he said eventually, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, I can do that."

* * *

They ended up hailing down an ice cream van on the way into town just for the sake of cooling themselves down in the heat.

As they walked and ate, Sirius asked Remus how his mum was, whether he was going to come down to see them later in the summer, just how his clothes were managing not to stick to him in the hot weather, and Remus seemed happy to plod along beside him, avoiding the topic of his mother's health, chatting about nothing in particular and pointing now and then to shops he thought looked interesting.

They'd pretty much made it into the centre of the town when Sirius spotted what he instantly declared as 'the perfect shop'. Its front door was painted jet black, and the window display hosted a range of clothes that Remus reluctantly agreed would suit Sirius, were it not the middle of summer. Along the top of the display were a line of patterned and brightly coloured motorbike helmets, and Sirius' eyes simply lit up when he caught sight of them.

"It's like fate," he muttered happily to himself, thinking of the new bike back at the Potters', and he hurried across the street towards the shop before Remus had a chance to protest.

"Moony, this place is magical," were the first words Remus heard when he followed Sirius inside. He'd already edged around a rack of trousers, flicking the metal chains that hung from their belts.

"Do you think these would suit me?"

"I will remind you again that it is the middle of summer, and ripped jeans will not keep you cool."

"I think I'll try some on."

Sirius darted around the shop for a good half hour, examining fancy lighters, holding clothes up against himself and admiring the helmets on display.

He eventually retreated to the changing rooms to try on the seven pairs of trousers he'd acquired, along with a couple of shirts, and insisted on showing Remus every single pair as he waited impatiently just outside the cubicle.

"You look ridiculous," Remus told him without a hint of uncertainty when he stepped out wearing black leather trousers and a white high collared shirt.

"Your words hurt Moony," Sirius replied, before glancing in the mirror and frowning. "It is a bit much though, isn't it?"

"Oh, you have no idea."

"Right. Well I've gone off this brown thing," he said, holding up a muddy coloured shirt that had zips in places that Remus was sure no one would ever need zips. "Why don't you try it on?"

"You have got to be joking," Remus said, stepping away from Sirius.

"Come on Moony, it's a laugh," he grinned, "and you never know, it might suit you."

"You are never getting that thing over my head. Never."

"Oh really?" Sirius asked, eyes ablaze at the challenge, and Remus didn't think to run until Sirius had already grabbed him around the middle and was attempting to force the brown monstrosity on over the shirt he was already wearing.

The result was a bizarre sort of wrestle where Remus tried to escape in the very small confines of the changing room and ended up with his back against the wall and Sirius’ chest pressed against his as he tried to force the shirt onto him. Remus managed to knock the shirt from his hands, and Sirius turned around and bent over to pick it back up off the floor.

Sirius clearly hadn’t accounted for the tightness of the leather trousers. However, with the lack of space between them, Remus could clearly see the seams stretching dangerously across Sirius’ backside. He should warn Sirius, he realised belatedly, as he tried to quell the sudden rise of heat across his cheeks at the closeness of their bodies. Trying to steady his breath, he opened his mouth to advise Sirius against ruining the trousers, when he heard the unmistakable of fabric tearing.

"Get out," Sirius whispered urgently, looking in horror at the huge tear in the crotch of the trousers, "go and pick a helmet or something and try to make it look like we didn't just break £40 trousers – how much is that is real money again?"

"I can't choose -" Remus started to protest, but Sirius pushed him out to the other side of the curtain, where he was forced to compose himself and get up off the floor while being stared at suspiciously by a large man in a biker jacket.

He wandered back into the main shop area and busied the girl behind the counter with talk about motorbike helmets, which she seemed happy enough to discuss until Sirius returned from the changing rooms, looking so put together that it was hard to keep a straight face at the idea of him in the horrific outfit.

"Which do you like?" he asked Remus as he approached the counter, and Remus pointed immediately to the crimson helmet that suitably had a black lion painted on either side of the visor.

Sirius grinned. "Good choice," he said as the shop assistant retrieved the helmet from the shelf and offered it to him to try.

He pulled it down over his head, flicking his hair back where it stuck out the bottom, and pushed down the visor.

"What do you think?" he asked, making mock engine noises as he pretended to rev an invisible bike. "Does it suit me?"

"Of course it does," Remus said with a roll of his eyes. "At least if you fall off that death trap you won't crack your skull."

"Always the optimist," Sirius smirked, removing the helmet and putting it back on the counter. Then he turned to the shop girl, smiled a winning smile and said, "I'll take it."


	26. Something New

Lily smoothed down the hem of her lavender skirt and hesitated with her hand half way to the doorknob. Even from upstairs, the chatter of the people currently occupying her house was loud, but she'd been in her room for almost an hour now, inventing pressing letters she had to answer from friends as an excuse to escape.

Since she'd seen James and the others only two weeks ago when they got back from their caravan holiday, and Mary had come to visit barely a week ago, she had very few letters to actually write. The ones she started just ended up being a page of her whinging about the wedding, so she hadn't sent them, and now she really couldn't stay in her room any longer. It was approaching evening and she knew it would almost be time for dinner, so had finally rolled off the bed (where she had been drowning out the noise with her cassette player) and vowed to go back downstairs.

As she made her way towards the living room, she spotted her father and some other relatives from their side of the family gathered outside in the setting sun, sipping beers and laughing. She longed to join them rather than be forced to endure the presence of the soon to be in-laws who had taken up residence in the living room, but knew she ought to be spending the evening with her sister.

Vernon Dursley's family had turned out to be just as unpleasant as Lily had first thought. His sister, Marge, sat in a stiff dress with a haughty expression and had taken to constantly telling Lily about the bridesmaid duties that she would be performing. Lily was pretty sure that Marge enjoyed reminding her that Petunia had not wanted her to be a bridesmaid. Vernon's mother on the other hand was quite old, and other than trips to the bathroom, Lily was fairly certain that she had been sitting in the same chair with a constantly topped up glass of sherry for hours now.

But there was only another day of this. All she had to do was get through tomorrow, then it would be the wedding day and Petunia would officially be moving out of the house, possibly out of Lily's life for good – and really, she wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it. A selfish part of her was longing to not have to endure the painful lulls in conversation when Petunia mocked her for talking about magic, or the awkward stares the two of them seemed to share whenever they were in the same room alone. Another part of her, though, was sad. She and Petunia had shared a rare moment of bonding only on one real occasion since she'd returned home for summer; when she'd first tried on her wedding dress, and had turned to Lily with a brilliant smile that simply made her glow. It had reminded Lily of how much she had once looked up to her sister, how as girls they had talked about weddings and boys and how they thought their lives would turn out when they grew up.

Now, though, Petunia was back to acting aloof when Lily was around, proven by the deliberate way she averted her eyes when Lily stepped into the room.

"Oh, there you are darling," her mum smiled, waving her over to the sofa and immediately putting a glass of wine into her hand. "Marge was just asking about your school."

"Oh," Lily said, taking a large sip of wine and attempting a smile in the young woman's direction. "What did you want to know?"

"I was just surprised that they let boys and girls mix at a boarding school," she said distastefully. "You don't often hear of places like that, children could get up to all sorts."

"Well, there's a number of staff and student prefects that make sure everyone's doing what they're supposed to."

"Codswallop," Marge said, waving her glass in a violent manner that quite took Lily by surprise. "You can't trust 'prefects' with that sort of thing, not when they're just as likely to be causing trouble themselves. You see, Petunia and our Vernon met in a normal way, courted properly. In places like that it's all rampant hormones, I'm surprised you don't hear of more teenage pregnancies!"

"Now, now!" Lily's mother said, alarmed, but Petunia interrupted.

"It's funny you should say that Marge, because Lily doesn't even have a boyfriend."

"You don't have a boyfriend?" Vernon's mother put in from her chair. "How old are you now? In my day if a girl didn't have a fella by the time she was 16 we'd think there was something the matter with her."

"Actually," Lily said, annoyed by the sudden outburst, "I do have a boyfriend."

She immediately regretted it, as her mother and Petunia turned to stare at her.

"Why didn't you say anything?" her mum asked, sounding genuinely hurt, while Petunia scoffed and said "oh, of course you do."

Ignoring her mum, Lily rounded on Petunia, "His name is James and he's the captain of our qui- er, football team, and he's really very handsome." She folded her arms over her chest defiantly, added, "and funny" and stared at Petunia, whose false smile wavered only momentarily.

"Fine," she said stubbornly, "although if you were too ashamed to invite him to the wedding..."

"I am not ashamed." Lily argued, standing up. "Maybe I will invite him!"

"Good!" Petunia spat, "we can all have a good laugh then."

"Girls!" Their mother tried to interrupt, "Lily, please sit down. Petunia, you've already arranged all the tables and..."

"She can do what she wants," Petunia argued, "like she always does. She's probably making him up anyway-"

"Why would I-"

"Because you always-"

"ENOUGH!"

Lily's mother rarely shouted, so when she did, it was enough to stop both of her daughters mid-sentence. She looked angry but quickly regained her composure in front of the scrutiny of their guests and said as calmly as she could manage, "Lily dear, if you want to invite James I am sure we would be glad to meet him. Petunia, why don't we all head outside to see what that fiancé of yours is up to."

"Alright," Petunia obliged, shooting Lily a last cold look before getting out of her seat.

"Fine," Lily agreed, which is how she ended up returning to her room not half an hour after venturing downstairs, writing a letter to invite James Potter to her sister's wedding.

* * *

Normally over the summer holidays, James was eager for letters from his friends; weeks spent apart from Remus and Peter - and now Lily - tended to make even the most mundane letter from them seem interesting. Now, though, every letter came with a feeling of dread.

"I bet that's from Moony," Sirius said when a barn owl landed on the kitchen windowsill. They had just finished eating dinner and were helping Mrs Potter take the dishes through from the dining room - despite her protests that they'd drop something, which did admittedly happen as often as not.

James and Sirius exchanged a glance; it meant 'I hope this isn't the one'. Remus' mother was growing more and more ill each day, and his letters sounded more resigned each time. They all knew that it wouldn't be long until he had to write a letter telling his friends about her death.

"Doesn't look like Remus' handwriting to me," Mrs Potter said, untying the letter from the owl's leg and glancing at James' name written on it in handwriting that was much too loopy for Remus'.

"Must be Lily," James replied in relief, taking it from his mum. He read it while she and Sirius watched him, the latter clearly resisting the temptation to read it over his shoulder.

"She, er." James looked up in a mix of surprise, elation and terror. "She invited me to her sister's wedding. It's in two days."

"How sweet of her," Mrs Potter replied. "I wonder what muggle weddings are like."

"Didn't she say her sister was marrying some rich git with a huge moustache?" Sirius asked. "Oh - sorry," he added when Mrs Potter shot him a stern look that he had come to know as her pretending-to-tell-you-off look. "Are you gonna go or what, mate?"

"I don't know. I've not been to a wedding since I was about four - let alone a muggle wedding. And I've never met Lily's parents or her sister and I bet they'll have all their family there and won't want me - I'd just be intruding, right? I wouldn't know what to talk about or what to wear or anything."

"Oh, hang on," Sirius said abruptly, leaving the room. James and his mum looked at each other in confusion.

"No idea what that's about," he said. "But do you think I should go?"

"Of course!" Her certainty surprised him. "Never mind who her sister is marrying. What matters is that Lily invited you, James. It's an important step in your relationship, you know. She'll be introducing you to her relatives - that practically makes you one of the family."

"Mum! No it doesn't. I'm not - I really don't think we're at that stage. It's not _our_ wedding."

"Well, true, but it's still a very important occasion to bring a date to. You should feel privileged."

James could feel himself turning red, so he was relieved when Sirius returned - carrying a muggle suit, no less.

"Look at this - I've had it for more than a year but barely ever worn it. You can wear it to the wedding, yeah? We're about the same size."

"Pads, why do you even own a muggle suit?" James asked, bemused. "And why'd you bring it? I mean, you could only bring a suitcase full of stuff here when you left home, and you thought a muggle suit was a top priority?"

"Well I was right, wasn't I? It's perfect! I think I wore it to some family thing because my dad told me to get wizard robes so, of course, I had to do the opposite." He grinned. "Now come on, try it on!"

"But - I -" He looked at his mum for help.

"I think it's a lovely suit, Sirius," she said. "Needs ironing, perhaps, but it'll be like new soon enough. You're going to look very handsome, James."

"Merlin, do I really have to do this?" he asked, looking from Lily's letter to Sirius' crumpled suit.

Sirius and Mrs Potter spoke at almost exactly the same time: "Yes, you do."

* * *

Lily had really half expected James to turn her down. It was spur of the moment, and a big occasion, and now he'd not only agreed, but would be arriving at any minute, she was nervous and self-conscious in her pale blue dress with its frills and puffy sleeves. Petunia had been screaming the house down for half the morning as her mother tried to contend with doing both her and Marge's hair, and Lily had barely seen anyone long enough to say two words to them since she'd woken up.

Now it was nearing 11, almost time for them to make their way to the church, and she was stuck outside waiting for James. She was standing by the tall trees at the side of the front drive that stopped them being overlooked by neighbours, and would hopefully also hide the sight of James appearing from out of thin air. Glancing anxiously back at the large clock on the wall in the hallway, she noted with a pang of annoyance that he was late.

* * *

Apparating to somewhere he'd never been before was difficult at the best of times, but when James had only passed his test five weeks ago and was half-wishing he'd end up in Wales and not have to go to the wedding, it was very hard to get the precise location right – which is why he'd ended up apparating into someone's garden fountain. Luckily nobody had seen him, but it had left his smart shoes so full of water that he could hear it moving about with each step, along with a distinct squish when his foot met the ground.

He wasn't far from Lily's, as it happened, and after wandering around an estate and through a park full of children who looked at him strangely, he found himself on her street.

She looked relieved to see him. Her dress matched the summery blue sky and her hair was pinned up so delicately that taking one pin out would probably destroy the whole thing.

"There you are - what took you so long?" She then frowned and added, "Sorry. Everyone's stressing out and I guess I'm picking up on it. You ready for this nightmare?"

"Hello to you too," he said, self-consciously kissing her on the cheek. "You look lovely, but aren't weddings meant to be happy?"

"You've not met my sister," Lily said simply. "Now come on - my parents want to meet you, Petunia thinks you're not real and Vernon's horrid sister keeps going on about how I must be ashamed of you because I didn't mention you before."

"Why _didn't_ you mention me?"

She paused. "I don't know. I guess this - us - still feels kind of private. It feels weird parading you in front of all my relatives."

"Well, I'll try not to disgrace you too much," he said, grinning.

"Honestly, with this lot, I wouldn't mind if you did. Just charm the pants off my parents and don't bother with anyone else - they're not worth it."

She led the way into the house; as soon as they stepped through the door, James could hear a dozen different voices shouting. It wasn't that they were fighting, exactly - just snapping at each other like Lily had. With too many people under one roof and the wedding only an hour away, it was a stressful place to be.

"James, this is my dad," she said, grabbing the arm of a tall man with greying hair as he hurried past. "Dad, this is James, my boyfriend."

"Oh, are you now?" He looked down at James over his glasses, reminding him worryingly of Professor McGonagall - which explained where Lily got her penetrating glare from. "And what are your intentions with my daughter?"

"Oh, er, well," James spluttered, "She's very, you know, pretty, and er smart, I like her and-"

"He's kidding, James, calm down," Lily said, smiling. Her dad winked at her.

"That I am - couldn't resist! It's a pleasure to meet you, young man."

He held out his hand and James shook it. "Thanks - nice to meet you too."

"A pity it's such a busy day or I'm sure my wife would be desperate to get down here and meet you. She's busy with some last minute mayhem or other - something about perfume, or maybe it was jewellery." He shrugged. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll get sorted, and then we'd better be off. In fact, I think that's the car pulling up right now."

* * *

Lily had to admit that the ceremony actually turned out to be quite nice. Petunia looked beautiful, her mother cried and James kept whispering to her about strange muggle traditions.

Then they were all cramming back into cars to head to the reception. The tables were made with the lilac coverings and orchids that Petunia had chosen months ago, and despite originally being placed at the main table with her parents and the rest of the family, due to James' presence Lily found herself being relegated to the middle of the room with distant family members, most of whom she didn't recognise.

She didn't complain, because Petunia was waltzing around grinning and twirling in her dress, and her parents were so happy for her that making a scene would just be selfish.

"This whole thing cost a fortune you know," she told James as they took their seats beside an elderly couple who Lily was fairly sure were great something-or-others. "Vernon's family offered to pay but my dad's too proud, says he has to pay for his daughter's wedding." She frowned at the expensive flowers in the centre of the table. "I know what he means but if he'd just let the Dursleys pay half it would have been much easier."

"Weddings must be expensive," James agreed, grabbing two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter, who didn't complain. "I think if I ever get married I'll do it outside, that way you don't have to pay for a room or whatever."

"I'll bear that in mind," Lily laughed, shaking her head at him. The old woman to her left was smiling at them and whispered to Lily a little too loudly, "if I were your age I'd happily marry that one," at which James almost choked on his drink.

"His head is big enough as it is," Lily told the woman with a smile, and thumped James on the back to help him breathe again. "Seems like you're quite a hit with the family, even though mum's barely had time to say anything to you."

James smiled and was about to reply when Vernon Dursley stood up at the front of the room, clinking the side of his glass loudly with a spoon to get everyone's attention. As the silence descended, he undid the last few buttons of his suit jacket and bent down to kiss Petunia on the cheek before smiling out at all his family and friends.

"Well," he said, taking a deep breath. "I can't thank you all enough for coming, it means the world to us to have all of you here."

"Oh, here we go with the speeches," Lily muttered.

"I'd particularly like to thank my new in-laws, Carol and William Evans, for organising such a wonderful reception, my sister Marge who makes a wonderful bridesmaid-"

Lily scoffed louder than she'd meant to, and quickly had to hide her disdain behind a cough.

"-and of course my beautiful wife Petunia. You make me a better man."

"Why weren't you bridesmaid?" James whispered as Vernon droned on.

Lily shrugged non-committedly, tapping her fingers against the edge of her glass. "She didn't ask me."

"But you're her sister."

"I'm a witch, she thinks I'm a freak." Lily hissed, then shook her head defiantly and tried to smile at James. "It doesn't matter; she should be happy on her wedding day."

She tried to turn her attention back to Vernon, who was saying something about commitment. He must have made a joke because the room was suddenly filled with quiet, chuckling laughter, but Lily was too busy refusing to meet James' eye to catch the punch line.

* * *

James had decided several hours ago that he didn't much like Vernon Dursley, right from the moment he'd heard him boasting about the rich and important guests who would be coming to the wedding; anyone who cared more about impressing people than about their actual marriage probably had poor priorities. James had something of a grudge against anyone who valued money or power more than family.

He had therefore decided not to waste his time listening to Vernon's speech, and was instead trying to figure out what to say to Lily. There were plenty of times when James had spoken without thinking and it had ended badly, and he didn't want this to be one of them.

After the applause had died down – and after an encore speech that Vernon insisted on despite the evident boredom on everyone's faces – James leant close to Lily's ear and said, "Lily, you're not a freak."

She smiled tightly. "I know that, it's just – it feels like I'm being attacked from both sides, you know? At Hogwarts there are purebloods calling me 'mudblood' and at home my own sister thinks I'm weird. It's like I have to defend my own existence over and over and it's exhausting."

"It doesn't matter what they think," James insisted. He took her hand and slipped his fingers in between hers. "The way I see it, at home you have your parents who're so proud of you for everything, including being a witch, and at Hogwarts there are a dozen teachers who count you among the best students they've ever taught. Who gives a damn whether some purebloods with their heads stuck up their arses think you're not as good as them – you're just as talented a witch and a much better person. As for your sister, I know you love her and you can't help but care what she thinks of you, but just because she's family that doesn't make her right."

She'd been avoiding meeting his eye, but now she looked at him and he was worried to see her blinking away tears.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, "actually I am. Thanks James."

He smiled, relieved. "See, you aren't entirely mad to have chosen me for a boyfriend."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," she said with a small grin.

The food was served soon afterwards, and while they ate they made conversation with the relatives sitting at their table. They were, thankfully, related to Lily and Petunia and not to Vernon, so they were perfectly friendly. James was grateful to have avoided Lily's new in-laws and pitied her for having to tolerate them – but his relief was spoilt when Vernon and Petunia came over after dinner. They seemed to be doing the rounds, talking to the guests, although James had noticed they'd missed out a few tables they deemed less important. James had the worrying suspicion, based on the way Petunia's shrewd gaze rested on him, that he was the reason they'd come over.

"You look beautiful," Lily said to her sister, "I didn't get the chance to tell you before."

Petunia smiled, but before she could reply, Vernon said, "Yes, haven't I got the best pick of them all?" He turned to James. "Petunia tells me you're her sister's boyfriend. What do you do, then?"

"Well, er, you might have noticed I'm only seventeen, so I'm still at school."

"Oh, and what school is that?"

"He goes to the same school as Lily, Vernon," Petunia put in. "The boarding school in the middle of nowhere in Scotland."

"Never liked the Scots," Vernon said. "Now, what are your plans when you leave school? I hope you're an ambitious sort of man, I wouldn't want anything less for my sister in law."

Since James had decided he didn't care what Petunia or Vernon thought of him, he thought he'd have a little fun. "I'm going to be a magician," he said.

Lily was clearly growing irritated at being talked about but not addressed, but this made her smile slightly. Petunia, on the other hand, had gone quite pale.

"A magician?" Vernon repeated dubiously. "What sort of career is that?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised how successful a profession it can be. And I happen to be quite talented at it – see?" Glad that Sirius had installed a ridiculous wand pocket in the suit James was wearing, he surreptitiously closed his hand around it while reaching behind Lily's ear – and he produced a single white lily.

"Bravo!" said the old man sitting across from them. "That's quite a trick!"

"You're impressed by that?" Vernon said incredulously. "No amateur trickery is going to get you very far, young man, and you'd be better off following a much more stable career. I, for one, work at a company that produces drills, and-"

"Vernon, dear, we have lots of other guests to speak to," Petunia said hurriedly. She was looking at James worriedly, having noticed one of his hands was still inside his jacket holding onto his wand. "Come on, let's go to another table."

"Very well, Petunia darling."

"I think that went well," James said cheerfully once Petunia and Vernon had reached another table, where they spoke to a man and a woman in matching pinstripe suits. Petunia was shooting him angry looks and James felt a little bad for winding her up on her wedding day, but Lily's smile was more than worth it.

"Well, I don't think they're likely to speak to us for the rest of the night, which is certainly a good thing," she said. "A lily though, really?"

"I'm not one for subtle romantic gestures. But look, it suits you." He slid the flower into Lily's hair, careful not to dislodge any of the many pins holding the complicated style in place.

"I didn't think you were one for romantic gestures at all, to be honest."

"I'm insulted," James said, putting his hand on his heart in pretend shock. "Do you not remember that poem I wrote for you in third year? I'm sure a more romantic poem has never been written."

"Shakespeare might disagree with you there," Lily said, smiling.

"Speaking of romance…" James took a deep breath before standing up and holding out his hand. "Would you like to dance?"

A small band had set up in the space where the speeches had been made earlier, and they had just started playing a slow, romantic melody. Judging by everyone's enthusiasm, James suspected he was the only person there who didn't know the muggle song, but he didn't much mind; he didn't need to know the song to be able to dance to it.

"I don't really dance," Lily said cautiously. "You know that."

"Weddings are different," James shrugged. "I have absolutely no idea how to either and I'm fully prepared to look like a complete idiot in front of everyone. Care to join me?"

"Well, if I must." She took his hand and allowed James to pull her onto the small wooden dancefloor, which everyone was streaming onto from the tables scattered around the edge of the venue.

"This is a terrible idea," she told him with complete certainty as they turned to face each other. They were still holding hands, and for a moment they awkwardly tried to figure out what to do with their other hands, eventually copying the other couples; James put his arm around Lily's waist and Lily put her hand on his shoulder. They stepped back and forth a bit, not knowing who should be leading and often pulling in opposite directions. They frequently bumped into other people, and as the dancefloor was becoming more and more crowded this became almost inevitable.

The old couple who had been sitting at James and Lily's table span past, perfectly co-ordinated and managing to avoid bumping into anyone at all, and at a pause in the music the old man dipped the woman, who laughed uproariously.

"We're so out of our depth," James said, shortly before they collided into a couple of Lily's second cousins four times removed or something along those lines.

Thankfully, the song eventually ended, and this felt like a good time to excuse themselves. It was warm with so many people crammed into one building – half of them in suits – in the middle of summer, and the cool breeze outside was a relief.

"We are a terrible excuse for a couple," Lily said in good humour.

"Absolutely," James said. "We should break up immediately or sign up for dancing classes."

"Or maybe just avoid situations where dancing is expected."

James considered this. "Well as long as no one we know ever gets married again, that should be fine."

She smiled. "Hey, James?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming to this. It means a lot – really, I don't know if I'd have got through today without you."

"You would have," James replied, speaking softly as a large group of people joined them outside to share the breeze. "You're stronger than you think. But I'm glad I could be here to make it bearable. Consider my abundant charm and wit to be readily available whenever you need them."

With an amused smile, Lily leant forward and kissed him, at which some uncle or other wolf-whistled. Rolling her eyes, she stepped back. Inside, a new song began, to a chorus of half-drunk cheers. This song was much faster, and a few people were singing along to it.

"Sure you don't want another dance?" James asked innocently.

"Pretty certain, yeah. But that doesn't mean we can't watch everyone else make fools of themselves," she said, smiling as she pulled him back inside.

  
  



	27. This Is It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter includes descriptions of death, cancer, and hospitalisation.

Remus had barely left the hospital in the past six days. It had been Tuesday when they'd brought his mum in with excruciating pain in her chest and trouble breathing. Since then time seemed to have passed strangely, with minutes ticking by too slowly, or whole hours passing without Remus even noticing or moving from his chair. The doctor had told them in no uncertain terms that the drugs she'd been prescribed, the ones that had kept her alive this long, had finally been beaten by her illness. It was very unlikely she'd recover enough to leave the hospital - "I'm afraid this is it," the doctor had told them sadly, shuffling his papers and turning away before Remus or his father really had time to process the news at all.

Since then, his mum had become increasingly incomprehensible due to her breathing, her words coming out in short gasps that were hard to understand and even harder to watch, when only a few weeks ago they'd had long conversations about Remus' plans for the summer and his school work.

Worse, though, was when she stopped talking. Just over a day ago, she had slipped into unconsciousness and hadn't woken up since. Remus' dad had told him to say goodbye, but he hadn't. What was the point when she wasn't there to hear him?

Visiting hours were supposed to be 2-6pm, but it was different when someone was dying; their family were allowed to be there at all hours, just so they didn't miss the moment when their loved one finally slipped away.

Remus didn't really want to be there when that happened, but he also didn't feel like he could leave. He was tied to his mum by a cord that got tighter the further away he got, pulling him back when it grew taut. It would almost be a relief when that cord snapped. Until then they existed in stasis, sleeping on waiting room chairs and eating nothing but dry sandwiches.

His dad had alternated between sitting by her hospital bed and roaming the corridors. He and Remus had managed to avoid being in the same room as each other for an astonishing amount of time over the past few days, so Remus was surprised when his Dad came and sat next to him on one of the hard chairs in the corridor.

Lyall Lupin drew his palms up over his face and through his tangled hair. There was several days' worth of stubble on his cheeks and chin, and the skin around his eyes was sagging.

"You okay?" Remus asked quietly.

He nodded slowly, then laughed under his breath. "Why aren't I the one asking you that? You're handling this better than I am. I'm the parent, I should be helping you get through this, but…"

He trailed off, looking down at his hands with the peeling skin around his nails, clasped on top of the trousers he'd been wearing all week.

"We're helping each other," Remus said after a moment, though they both knew this was a lie. His dad had always been dependent on his mum, but he'd never depended on Remus. And Remus had long since learnt not to need his dad.

"How are those friends of yours?" Lyall asked. "I never thought about it, but you haven't seen them since your holiday. Bet you miss them."

"Yeah," Remus said, though the truth was he was glad they weren't there. When he was with his friends, he felt like part of a group – a cog in a machine – but right now he needed to just be Remus, to be his mother's son. Hospitals, for all their glass walls and open doors, were immensely private places.

"I'm glad your friends understand about your…your condition." Remus tensed. His dad never - _never_ \- talked about him being a werewolf. Every full moon, he would be away on business that Remus was sure he'd scheduled precisely for the purpose of missing the transformation. It was one of the few things he'd heard his parents argue about. "I know I've never been very supportive," his dad continued, "I know your mother was the one…" He sighed heavily. "I'm just glad they're there for you."

"Yeah. Me too."

A lift further down the corridor a lift pinged open and a hospital bed with an old man in it was wheeled along by a nurse who chatted cheerfully about hospital food not being so bad and trying new drugs and being optimistic. Remus wondered what that old man was here for, whether he too would never leave this hospital.

"Strange place, isn't it?" his dad muttered. "Muggle hospitals have always seemed wrong. So white and sterile. And serious as hell. Feels like everyone has come here to die."

Remus understood why his dad was put off by the constant beeping of machines and the endless identical wards and corridors, but he didn't point out that wizard hospitals only had the privilege of being moderately cheerful because almost everything could be cured by magic. In muggle hospitals, even if you could be cured, it would be a long and hard journey – nothing was fixed as easily as with a potion or a spell. And Remus had always found St Mungo's to be just as bad as any muggle hospital, probably because he himself was incurable.

"We should never have brought her here," Lyall said roughly. "I know it's what she wanted, but what if these bastard doctors were wrong about her condition? What if it wasn't fatal and if we'd taken her to St Mungo's… what if we didn't give her the only chance she had to get better?"

"Dad…it's cancer. Wizards can't cure cancer."

"Well maybe they could have," he said, his voice getting louder and a tear dropping onto his knee. "Maybe if we'd-"

"Dad. Don't." Remus' throat suddenly felt raw and he had to swallow before saying anything more. "Just…there was nothing we could do, okay?"

Lyall's expression hardened in a way that made Remus flinch, but then his anger dropped away and he held his head in his hands. "Remus…I don't know what I'm doing. What are we going to do without her? How are we going to-" He broke off with a harsh breath that might have been a sob.

"I don't know, Dad. We'll just…we'll manage. I'll take care of the housework," he said, trying to think about the practicalities, wanting to pretend just for a minute that their problems were as simple as unfinished chores. "While I'm home for summer I can cook and stuff. It'll be the same as it's been since Mum got ill." This, too, was a lie. It wouldn't be the same. There would be the bedroom where she'd been bedridden for so long, where his dad would now sleep alone, and there would be the bathroom with her bottles of strawberry shampoo that they'd have to throw away, and there would be the chair by the fireplace that had always been hers, where Remus was sure no one would ever sit again. Nothing would be the same – nothing at all.

His dad looked up, his face red and blotchy. "You're a good kid, Remus. I know we don't talk enough – we've never talked enough – but I…" He didn't seem to know how to finish this sentence, so he shook his head and repeated, "You're a good kid."

Remus got up not long after this to stretch his legs. Leaving his father in the corridor, he found himself in another of the endless small waiting rooms. Despite having only walked for a few minutes, he collapsed back down onto one of the plastic seats, focusing for no real reason on the wall and the broken clock that hung there with hands that didn't move. He didn't realise how much time had passed until a med student walked into the now-dark room and turned on the light.

The med student's name was Chase Roberts, but Remus forgot this repeatedly and thought of him only as Blond Med Student, mostly because every time he saw him he was struck by his very blond, very sculpted hair that made him look like he belonged in the Weird Sisters. Blond Med Student asked Remus when he'd last eaten or drank something, to which Remus replied honestly that he couldn't remember, so he agreed to head down to the cafeteria.

It was much too bright there, with fluorescent lights above them that were harsh compared to the firelight wizards used. They sat down at a rickety table together, but barely thirty seconds later Blond Med Student rose again, looking at him in concern. "I don't know what they'll have considering it's so late, but I'll go and have a gander. Any preferences?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders, not entirely sure why the guy was so fussed about him, and began to pick at a corner of the wooden table that was exposed and splintered.

"Righto," Blond Med Student replied, then he crossed the dining hall to investigate the food counter on the other side of the room. The whole place smelt faintly of mushy peas, Remus noted; his mum always made brilliant peas, grown fresh from their garden - the only time he'd touch them in fact, was when she cooked them with fresh fish from the local market.

The smell now made him feel faintly sick.

Chase returned after a few minutes carrying a tray with two paper cups of tea and two large muffins.

"They didn't have much in the way of nutrition I'm afraid," he shrugged as he sat back down. "Better than nothing though."

There was silence for a few moments while they both stirred sugar into their tea, and Remus started to unpeel the paper from the bottom of his muffin. Then Chase asked, "how's your mum doing?"

"They say she's not going to wake up," Remus replied, not meeting his gaze, still not really feeling like the words were real in his own head. He'd talked to the med student a handful of times over the last few days - he'd been a welcome presence really, someone who wasn't his father, or nurses who looked at him with pity. Chase just nodded and said sadly, "I'm sorry man, that's shit."

"Yeah," Remus replied. He took a moment to look up from his plate, and it was only then that he noticed how late it'd gotten - almost 11pm. "What are you still doing here?" Remus asked, "Don't you have to get up early? Or are you just winding me up when you complain about the horrible hours they have you working?"

"Eh," Chase shrugged again, shoving half of the muffin into his mouth, "thought you could do with the company, and to be honest I'm kind of wired - that sort of day."

"You didn't have to do that," Remus sighed, but when Chase only waved him away, he finally picked up the muffin and took the first bite of food he'd had in almost 12 hours. As soon as he bit into it his stomach rumbled appreciatively, but soon Remus was screwing up his face as he ate, staring once to the remaining muffin in his hand then to the med student in front of him.

"This has raisins in," he said, utterly disgusted.

"...yeah?"

"I hate raisins."

"Ah," Chase said, "sorry about that."

"To think I trusted you," Remus smiled, feeling for a second like he was quite happy to pretend that his biggest worry was fruit in places it shouldn't be.

"You'll have to catch me in the morning next time and I'll make sure to snatch you one of the chocolate ones," Chase laughed, then immediately paused when he saw the look on Remus' face. "Not that - obviously you don't want to be around here for long - not that I mean your mum doesn't – okay." He waved his hands vaguely in front of him and said "I've been up since 5am," by way of explanation. "What I mean is you need to eat. Too many people whose family are ill don't take care of themselves and end up looking like they're the ones who need to be in the hospital."

"Yeah, I guess," Remus agreed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and out of place – the reality was back. The very obvious fact that he was in a hospital became almost overwhelming - the white walls, mint green linoleum floors and vague smell of antiseptic, even over the whiff of peas. His head ached with the claustrophobia of being stuck in the same place for so long, all the while being able to do nothing to help his mother.

"Are you okay?" Chase asked. "Maybe you should try to get some sleep."

Remus picked up his tea and held it between his hands for a minute, trying to calm down. "I'm fine," he started to say, but cut himself off before the words ever left his mouth.

Because Chase was no longer looking at him, but past him - he'd gone still and pale with his cup half way to his mouth and an expression that made Remus' immediately tense. It was with a sense of pure dread that Remus turned his head to find -

His father. He was pale, sickly looking and shaking, and when he reached them he grasped Remus' shoulder too hard with trembling hands, like if he didn't have something to hold onto he would collapse.

"Dad?" His voice came out a squeak.

"Remus," his dad replied, looking at the floor, "come back upstairs now, son." He seemed to compose himself slightly, managed to remove his grip from Remus' shoulder and look him in the eye. "Your mum - they don't think she's going to make it through the night - we have to - come on and see her - before she -"

"Dad," Remus said again. He didn't know what to do. All these months his dad has been almost unfeeling, refusing to believe his wife wouldn't get better, even angry about the whole thing. Now he was a wreck, and Remus didn't know he was crying until he felt his throat constrict with a sob, didn't know he was standing up until his dad's arm was around his shoulder, both of them moving automatically, leaving behind the temporary haven of Chase's company, not wanting to actually reach the hospital ward, not wanting to actually believe that this was happening.

But his legs kept moving. A friendly nurse patted him on the back as they passed. An alarm was going off somewhere far away, flashing red and angry while two doctors ran down the corridor towards it. So much was happening; all of it too fast and too hard, like the taste of metal in his mouth. And all Remus could think, even as he opened the door to the private room his mum was in, even as he took her unmoving hand in his, was that he didn't want to say goodbye.

* * *

_James & Sirius,_

_I know you've been waiting for this letter because I said I'd write to you when it happened, so this is it. It's 3am right now, and she was pronounced dead just after midnight. God, I sound so... clinical, but I don't know how else I'm meant to sound. It's just... I've known this was coming for months and I imagined it over and over - I thought I'd cry or shout at someone or throw things but I'm just sitting on one of these bloody awful chairs in an empty waiting room writing to you._

_This is going to be the world's most goddamn depressing letter. I'm sorry. Well, I'm not. I know you'll want me to open up and all that, I just - I don't know how to tell you what I'm feeling because I don't even know what I'm feeling. Nothing feels real. It's like I've thought about it so much that I've made it abstract and there are so many imagined scenarios in my head that this one feels imaginary too. I just want it to sink in so I can at least feel_ something _._

 _I don't know where my Dad is. I haven't since him since... since. He started crying with these really loud sobs and he kicked over a chair and punched a wall so hard he'd cracked the plaster_ _and kept saying Mum's name over and over. Loads of people were staring at him when we went out into the corridor. His grief is so loud and so big and mine feels so small._

_Maybe I'm in denial. That's meant to be the first stage of grief, right? It's like I know, intellectually, that she's dead, but I don't believe it. Does that make sense? Does any of this make sense?_

_I'm imagining you both reading this. It's weird. I feel like I'm talking to myself more than anything. I don't really expect you to reply. There's nothing you can say, really. It's just... it is what it is. And it's over now, anyway._

_I could write to Peter too but I'm so tired. Not like I want to go to bed - I feel like I'll never sleep again. I'm just exhausted. Drained. It's been a long... I was going to say a long day, but that's not it, is it? A long everything. Month. Year. Life._

_I'd better go find Dad. I'll send this with Lancelot when I'm home - muggle hospitals don't exactly have a great deal of owls. Hope all's well on your end. And really, don't reply to this. I'll see you on September 1st, okay? It can't come soon enough._

_Remus_


	28. The Old and The New

Remus arrived at King's Cross Station on 1st September with his trunk in his hand and a heaviness in his stomach. This was the day that, for the past five years, he'd longed for all through the summer: the day when he could return to his dorm and his classes and, most importantly, his friends.

But today felt different. This was his last year at school and the first that his mum hadn't been there to see him off. He was glad to leave his grieving father and the house that felt too empty with her gone, but there was a sense of finality about it. Remus would, as always, be staying at Hogwarts over Christmas, and at the end of the year he would be leaving school and finding a place of his own. After Hogwarts, he would have to find a way to get through life as an adult, daunting enough on its own, and he wasn't naïve enough to think that everyone would be as accepting as his friends had been about him being a werewolf.

He had apparated here alone, and he'd left his home behind - for good. He wondered if this was how Sirius had felt when he'd moved in with the Potters - but he doubted it. Sirius had always had anger to hang on to, but Remus had only a sadness that seemed to weigh him down.

Of course, more than one thing had changed. Remus made his way through the crowd of parents, children, teenagers, luggage, owls, cats, and toads until he spotted his friends. Sirius was sitting on top of his trunk, Peter was rummaging through his things, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter were standing nearby, saying reassuring things to the parents of a first year.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed. He jumped up to hug Remus, only to pause right in front of him. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," Remus said shortly. "Where's James?"

"With Lily," Peter said, pointing. It was hard to see anyone through the crowd, but Remus caught a glimpse of Lily's red hair. "I think Prongs is panicking because it's his first day of being Head Boy."

Peter and Sirius pulled identical expressions of distaste. "I, frankly, am ashamed to call him a marauder," Sirius said. "Head Boy, I mean really."

Remus had entirely forgotten that James and Lily had been made Head Boy and Girl - it had been the last thing on his mind over the past few weeks. He briefly wondered why James had been chosen and not him, but there was of course an obvious answer to that question; werewolves, he suspected, were not generally considered to be Head Boy material - prefects, sure, but not someone who could represent the entire school.

It was nearing 11 o'clock, so everyone had started to make their way onto the train.

"We'd better go," Peter said to Sirius, "Or else we won't get a compartment to ourselves."

"Good idea, Wormy. See you when we get there, Moony, yeah?" He hugged the Potters goodbye and they headed onto the train, heaving their trunks behind them. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had already said goodbye to James, but they hugged Remus for good measure before they left, and then Remus had to fight his way through tearful parents and upset children who were too young to go to Hogwarts.

"Hey," he said when he finally got to James and Lily. "Are you coming? We need to get to the prefects' compartment."

"Prefects' compartment," James repeated. "This is surreal, Moony. I don't think I'm ready to be Head Boy. I am most definitely not a responsible adult."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You'll be fine," she said, taking his hand. Remus noticed that they were much more natural around each other than they had been on their caravanning trip. "Come on."

The journey was long and the train was surprisingly hot for September, so the chocolate frogs they bought melted before they could be eaten. For all his expectations of being a terrible Head Boy, James made the new fifth year prefects feel comfortable immediately by telling them about all the rule breaking he'd done in fifth year. Remus was quiet for most of the journey, watching James fiddle with the 'Head Boy' badge on his robes and listening to the quiet chatter of the other prefects. He was almost relieved when it was his turn to patrol, glad to stretch his legs and check that nobody was breaking any rules before the school year had even begun.

They finally arrived at Hogsmeade with a buzz of excitement amongst the students and rumbling stomachs.

"First years!" James began calling loudly. "First years, follow me this way towards the boats!"

Lily exchanged an exasperated look with Remus. "I'll go and tell him he's leading them in the wrong direction - you go get in a carriage."

Remus nodded, joining the hundreds of students walking along the platform. The carriages were standing where they always were, waiting to set off towards Hogwarts - except that every year before now, they had moved of their own accord, and this year Remus was surprised to see that they were being pulled by huge black horses with skeletal bodies and leathery wings.

"Weird," he murmured, but then he saw Sirius waving to him from the doorway of one of the carriages. He had just reached his friends when he heard a scream. Everyone turned in the direction of it, and Remus saw a young boy, probably a second year, jump back as one of the horses bent its head down towards him.

"What's up with him?" Sirius asked.

"I guess those horses are pretty terrifying if you're only four feet tall."

Peter gave him a strange look. "Horses?"

"Yeah, the ones pulling the carriages."

"There's nothing pulling them, Remus," Peter said. "They always pull themselves."

"Are you feeling okay?" Sirius asked.

"Fine," Remus said again, confused but unwilling to press the point when people were already checking on his wellbeing every five minutes. He was spared from having to respond to Sirius' concern by the arrival of James, Lily, Alice and Mary.

They squeezed into the carriage together, the seven of them finding it much harder to fit than it would have been just a few years ago. The girls were already catching up, with Lily just finishing a story about James doing magic at Petunia's wedding.

"How about you?" she asked Mary just as the carriage started moving. "I've not spoken to you in nearly a month, what've you been up to?"

"Well, uh," Mary glanced awkwardly at Sirius. "You know we went to visit family in Wales, and I- erm, met someone, actually. And I guess I'm dating them since we kissed and stuff."

"That's great!" Alice said.

"Yeah," she smiled, "it was unexpected but they're so nice and funny and I really like them actually."

"I can't believe you didn't write to me about this!" Lily said. "What's his name?"

"Erm." Mary hesitated – dipping her head and clasping her fingers together – pausing just long enough for Remus to figure out exactly why she was hesitating. "Her name is April."

" _Oh_ , sorry, I didn't - Mary, that's wonderful," Lily said earnestly.

Remus wasn't really a part of the conversation, but he shot Mary a smile anyway, glancing away before catching Sirius' eye, who raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged his shoulders lazily.

The conversation dwindled into silence until Sirius said, "Hey, did anyone get accosted by Slughorn on the train? I heard he'd gathered his favourites in a compartment and bribed them with food to get them to come to Slug Club."

"Yeah, he practically dragged me through the door," Alice replied. "I managed to escape after half an hour of listening to all the purebloods going on, as usual."

"I don't think he's particularly fond of me anymore so no wonder I didn't get an invite," James said. Remus didn't find this surprising, considering that the last time James had been to the Slug Club, he'd started a fight and basically gotten thrown out.

"I'm not going to bother going this year," Lily said. "Well, maybe I'll go to the Christmas party if he does another one, but in general I'll be too busy and his get-togethers are tedious at best."

"Yeah, same. I don't think there's any point in me going now that Frank's left school. We only really went for the dancing." Alice glanced out of the window. "Oh look, we're nearly here."

They all attempted to look out of the small square windows at the same time, which led to rather a lot of knocking heads. It was the last time any of them would arrive like this, with Hogwarts rising up above them, light pouring out of the windows and reflecting across the lake. The thought struck all of them at once, and they were silent as they got out of the carriages and climbed the stairs to the front entrance.

* * *

As usual, there were hundreds of candles floating above them in the Great Hall, and the tables were filled with plates and goblets, ready for the feast that would soon appear. Everyone took their seats and fell silent as McGonagall led the first years inside. She gestured for them to stop at the front of the hall and placed the old, battered sorting hat on the stool.

The first years all gasped as it opened its mouth and began to sing, and Remus smiled at their expressions.

_Hear my story, heed my words,  
_ _As I sort you to your houses.  
_ _Though I separate you from your peers  
_ _I dread this cause of rising fears._

_Why should we trust them? What do they know?_  
_When really we're the same._  
_Words of darker magic brings us shame_  
_With power struggles, and casting blame._

 _Now those who first divided a common group_  
_Of children just like you_  
_Into pure and noble, kind and smart_  
_They may have doomed us from the start._

 _I do not mean to bring you down,_  
_With words of separation,_  
_But we must stand together, turn the tide,_  
_Or else be forced to pick a side._

 _And what comes to pass this coming year,_  
_Will surely bring you joy;_  
_Learning magic, feasts and friends,_  
_Should be truly how the story ends._

 _Just remember then, as I tell you now,_  
_You are as one united,_  
_For I see the warnings, know the score,_  
_My words you'd do well to not ignore._

Silence followed the unusually-serious song, and Remus exchanged a worried look with James, who was sitting across from him. But once McGonagall stepped forward and started reading the names of first years from a long scroll, everything fell into the familiar routine of the sorting and the feast. When they finally made their way up towards the Gryffindor tower, James and Lily leading the first years, everyone was very full and sleepy so there was a pleasant calm about the place, other than the whispers of first years who were enchanted by the moving stairs and paintings. With the relative quiet, it was therefore impossible for Remus not to overhear the conversation between a pair of fourth years.

"I heard Katya Greengrass' mum was asked to join Voldemort's followers."

"Shit, really? Isn't Voldemort the one who organised that attack on some muggleborns in July?"

"That's what the _Daily Prophet_ said, yeah. They're calling themselves death eaters."

"I know Greengrass is a pureblood and all her family are Slytherins but woah."

"Yeah, I know. Her mum said no though – I've heard their family's pretty elitist but not _that_ bad. That's why they attacked her, because she wouldn't do whatever they wanted."

"Seriously? That's awful. Is she okay?"

"She's still in St Mungo's. I don't really know the details."

Remus tried to pretend he hadn't heard the conversation, but it repeated in his mind over and over as he got ready for bed. He'd heard mention of Voldemort over the summer – repetitions of conversations James and Sirius had heard from James’ parents, along with mentions of a powerful dark wizard in the Daily Prophet. With everything that had happened with his mum over the past few months, the news of attacks on muggleborns outside of Hogwarts was enough to keep Remus wide awake. Peter's snores soon filled the room, Sirius stopped fidgeting, and James' breathing became slow and steady, yet Remus couldn't seem to get his eyes to stay closed or his mind to shut off.

It must have been past three in the morning when he finally resigned himself to a sleepless night and got out of bed. He knelt down on the floor and gently undid the clasps on James' trunk, which hadn't been opened since it was packed, and being dragged and lifted around had rendered any neatness there might have originally been to a disorganised pile. Of course, there was a very good chance that James had packed it that way in the first place. Trying not to crinkle pieces of parchment or drop any gobstones, Remus felt around for the invisibility cloak and found it being used as padding around a big bottle of ink.

He managed to extract it without making too much noise and slipped it over his shoulders as he padded down the stairs in his slippers and dressing gown. There were a dozen worries circling Remus' mind like vultures that hadn't been there that morning, and there was only one of them that he expected to find answers to in the library, so when he got there he went straight to the section on magical creatures. He murmured "lumos" and held his wand up to examine the spines of all the books. There were several on dragons, a few on dark creatures, some on magical pests, and finally, a copy of ‘ _Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them’_. It wasn't the most advanced book in the world, which was why Remus hadn't brought his copy with him to Hogwarts since fourth year, but it would do.

He leafed through it, glancing over the descriptions of all the creatures he wasn't familiar with, but he got to the Yeti without finding what he was looking for. He shoved the book back on its shelf, deciding that Newt Scamander should no longer be considered an expert on magical creatures.

Just what were those horse creatures that he'd seen pulling the carriages? There was a faint recollection of something at the back of his mind, but he had no idea what they were called.

The magical creatures section proved to be useless, so Remus wandered up and down the other aisles, skimming titles. It was, surprisingly enough, in the divination section – which he had never visited before – that he came across something useful. The title was _Death Omens: What To Do When You Know the Worst Is Coming_ , and Remus would have paid it no attention if not for the fact that the book hadn't been put back properly and he could see half of its cover, on which there was a black, winged horse.

He pulled the book off its shelf and sat down at one of the small tables. He ran his finger down the contents page, but none of the chapter titles meant much to him so he flicked through the pages. The first thing that caught his eye was a picture of a huge black dog that could have quite easily been a drawing of Sirius, the title of which was **_THE GRIM_** in big black letters. He didn't stop to read that section, instead flipping forward until he found the picture that was on the front cover.

 _Finally,_ he thought as he began to read.

_Thestrals are one of many types of winged horses, possessing large leathery wings, a skeletal body, and reptilian facial features. They are very rare and considered to be dangerous by the Ministry of Magic, who have officially given them the classification XXXX, along with creatures such as the runespoor, demiguise, kelpie, and troll. Thestrals are considered by many to be an omen of death as bleak as the Grim, but the only solid evidence of their connection to death suggests rather the opposite. Thestrals do not seem to foretell death so much as follow it; they can only be seen by those who have witnessed death, and to all others they are entirely invisible. The limitations of this are not known, for example it is unclear whether it is only humans who experience this phenomenon, or whether it applies to other intelligent creatures such as centaurs and merpeople._

Well, that explained that. Remus had thought he'd heard of a creature you could only see after you saw someone die, but he hadn't expected a whole herd of them to great him the moment he got to school. He was glad it was his last year; there would be no need to use the carriages again, and he hoped he'd never have to see another thestral. It was hard enough not to be reminded of his mum as it was, without seeing symbols of death around the school grounds.

He was on his way back to the Gryffindor Tower when he heard voices inside Professor McGonagall's office. Since he was wearing the cloak and the door was slightly ajar, he leant closer and peered in, wondering who was out of bed so late and whether he would get in trouble for being up if he acted as a prefect and told them off.

But it wasn't students he saw – it was McGonagall and Dumbledore, sitting across from each other over McGonagall's desk and talking in low voices.

"You can't really think that's a good idea, Albus."

"Why wouldn't I? The students have a right to know the truth about what's happening. If a war is coming, they ought to be ready for it."

"Ready for it?" she repeated. "None of us will be ready for it, let alone children. They are safest if they're left out of this."

"It will affect all of us, Minerva, no matter how young and innocent. Voldemort will not have mercy just because they are underage."

"They're safe here," McGonagall insisted. "What you're talking about – you'd be practically recruiting them."

"There are some very gifted witches and wizards at this school. It could make a difference to have them on our side."

"That isn't enough of a reason," McGonagall said. "You cannot put their lives at risk for – for the greater good."

Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Hard decisions will have to be made, you know that. We will have to choose between what is right and what is easy."

"I don't believe that putting teenagers in danger is right, Albus."

Dumbledore rose from his seat. "It is of no use discussing it just yet. There will be time enough for that later. For now, the night is old and so am I. Goodnight, Minerva."

McGonagall said nothing. Remus had to move out of the way as the door opened, and he waited until Dumbledore's footsteps had faded before he glanced back inside the office. McGonagall had removed her glasses and was rubbing the bridge of her nose.

There was nothing else to see, so Remus slowly made his way back to bed, but any small hope he'd had of sleeping had been extinguished. Did Dumbledore really think a war was coming? Wasn't that a bit extreme? There hadn't been conflict in the wizarding world since Grindelwald in the 1940s, and even that hadn't been a full-blown war. Could something so terrible really be on the horizon?

Remus had thought earlier that day that things would be different this year, with the end of their time at school looming ahead, but it seemed he had underestimated just how much was about to change.


	29. Secrets and Lessons

"How does this even work?" Lily asked. She and James were standing in front of the large gargoyle that guarded the entrance to the headmaster's office on the third floor.

She was still reeling a little after hearing Remus recite the conversation he'd overheard the night before, and the time it had taken for them for walk down from the dormitory hadn't been enough for Lily to fully process what she'd heard. The others had needed to go off to their lessons, but with a free period and the shiny new Head Boy and Girl badges adorning their robes, Lily had decided that it was the responsibility of herself and James to find out what Dumbledore had meant when he'd talked about a war. The conversation they were about to have seemed much more daunting now that they were here, but neither of them wanted to turn back without any answers.

"I think it needs a password or something," she said after a moment of glancing over the quite smooth and obviously handle-free gargoyle. "It's not like we can knock."

James turned his head a fraction towards her, a small smile tugging at the edge of his lips despite the serious expression he'd been wearing for most of the morning.

"Pixie puffs," James said confidently to the ugly gargoyle, which obliged immediately and creaked open to reveal a large circular staircase that wound upwards like a snake.

"Of course," Lily said, shaking her head as James stepped through the newly revealed opening. "I'm not even going to ask how you know that."

"Bit of a punt actually," James shrugged, "he hasn't changed it from last year yet."

"Well I'm sure he will now," Lily said, but she stepped onto the staircase behind him.

At the top of the stairs was a tall wooden door, and they exchanged a look before Lily knocked, first softly and then with more force.

"You may enter," said Dumbledore, and it was so quiet in his office, so detached from the bustle of students heading to their classes, that they heard him clearly despite him not raising his voice.

As they stepped inside, the stone staircase made a low grinding sound as the gargoyle slid back into place.

"Ah, Miss Evans, Mr Potter, do come in." Dumbledore was seated at a large desk scattered with books, rolls of parchment and various instruments, some recognisable like a small brass telescope and others much more unusual. It was a cluttered office, the walls packed with bookshelves or portraits of witches and wizards and the rest of the space occupied by lots of small tables and cabinets. James had been in here only twice before, and neither time had given him long enough to examine everything of interest. Most fascinating of all was Fawkes, with his flame-red feathers and watchful eyes, who watched them from his perch beside the headmaster's desk.

With a flick of Dumbledore's wand, a pair of seats appeared on the opposite side of his desk, and he gestured for the two of them to sit down.

"I was hoping to get the chance to congratulate you both on being made Head Boy and Girl. I have absolute faith in you, and I should hope you'll be keeping your usual troublemaking to a minimum this year." He smiled as he looked at them over his glasses.

"Of course, Professor," James said innocently, "we wouldn't dream of causing any sort of trouble."

"Yes, indeed. But I can see that is not what you came here to speak to me about. Something is bothering you, is it not?" Lily fidgeted in her seat, and Dumbledore leant forward expectantly. "Please, tell me what's on your mind."

"It's just..." she started, feeling suddenly foolish under the gaze of the headmaster. She wasn't entirely sure how he'd react to their questions about something they obviously didn't know enough about. But she ploughed on anyway, her curiosity and fear mixing together to make her sound much more confident than she felt when she said, "We hear you think there's going to be a war, and as Head Boy and Girl we think we have the right to know what's going on."

James nodded beside her.

"I see," Dumbledore said, considering them. To their relief, he didn't ask how they knew such a thing. He didn't look angry, or all that surprised really, just contemplative as he looked at them over his half moon glasses. "Professor McGonagall is of the opinion that the students should be left out of such matters."

"With respect sir," Lily stated, cutting off James, who was also about to argue. "We're of age, and since I'm muggle born I'd really like to know if someone is going to try and kill me."

Dumbledore looked at her thoughtfully. He remained silent for a long moment, until James felt compelled to add, "After what happened to Mary, we ought to be prepared if something like that is going to happen again. The students are our responsibility and if they're going to be in danger" - he glanced at Lily - "we need to know about it. We need to protect them."

"The attack on Miss MacDonald was a terrible thing," Dumbledore said slowly, "but as long as I am headmaster I can assure you that incidents such as that will not become a regular occurrence. I admire your courage, both of you, but the danger does not lie here. Hogwarts is as safe as can be."

"But not everywhere is safe?" Lily pressed, and Dumbledore let out a long sigh.

"No, I'm afraid not. It seems that there are some people who are so set in their hatred of those they don't see as having 'pure' magical blood that they would choose to do terrible things in their quest for power. Hatred can be a powerful weapon. We can only hope to stop the worst of it from poisoning the minds of our younger students - perhaps you can concern yourselves with that for the time being. I won't tell you a war isn't a possibility, but we can all try to prevent it."

"Like the sorting hat said," Lily recalled, and Dumbledore nodded once more.

"Who's 'we'?" James asked, aware that he was perhaps pushing more than he ought to. "There must be other people trying to stop this war from happening, right?"

"There are always people willing to fight to stop the cruel and misguided from gaining power."

"But who-"

"For now, that is all you need to know," Dumbledore said, his voice firm. "Now you had best be off. Your free period will be ending soon and I wouldn't want to keep you from your first class of the year."

They both hesitated, but after a moment Lily stood up and James followed suit.

"Thank you, Professor," Lily said.

Dumbledore inclined his head in acknowledgement.

"Try not to let this distract you," he said as they reached the door. "The time may come when you need to worry about the possibility of war, but for now that is not your concern. Enjoy what time you have left at Hogwarts; focus on your studies and especially your friends, because you will need them if the worst comes to pass."

* * *

The first week of term had been so busy that James wasn't entirely sure where his free time had gone. All of his teachers seemed to have given him more homework than it was humanly possible to complete, being a responsible Head Boy was tougher than he'd expected, and he'd had to squeeze in time for Quidditch trials to find a new beater and keeper now that Marlene and Kingsley had left school.

The last thing he needed was more work to do, but McGonagall had informed him and Lily the day before that seventh year prefects were required to tutor fifth years to prepare them for their OWLs. This seemed extremely unfair given that he hadn't actually signed up for all this responsibility, but he cheered up when he found out that they didn't need to patrol the corridors at night like younger prefects did.

They were doing the tutoring in an unused classroom on the third floor, which James managed to walk past twice before he found it. Lily had gone to see Professor Flitwick about her charms homework so she hadn't arrived yet, and Remus had rushed off back to the common room for something, so James found himself in a room full of fifteen year olds and a few seventh year prefects he didn't know very well. They barely even looked up when he entered the room, and even when he stood behind the desk and cleared his throat they paid him very little attention; they were too busy throwing around a fanged Frisbee, which by the looks of it had already been the cause of a dent in the wall and a stack of parchment scattered over the floor.

The only one who seemed to be completely uninterested in the game was Snape, one of the Slytherin prefects, who was standing at the back of the room, leaning against a bookshelf. When James accidentally caught his eye he raised a mocking eyebrow at James' lack of control and smirked.

"James," Chloe, the Gryffindor seeker, called as she jumped on her chair to retrieve the Frisbee from on top of a cupboard, "catch!"

He grabbed in automatically - chaser reflexes - and when a Slytherin girl said "pass it here!" he obligingly threw it over to her.

* * *

Lily met Remus halfway to the third floor classroom, both of them looking tired after a full day of classes, their heavy book bags leaving uncomfortable lines on their shoulders.

"Please don't make me teach them runes," Remus said before Lily even had a chance to say hello. "It is hell and if I have to look at another rune ever again I may just punch someone."

"I'll give you something decent," Lily smiled, looping her arm through his as they walked. "Transfiguration do you think? Or maybe James will want that, so perhaps defence."

They reached the classroom quickly and from the racket inside it immediately became clear that they were the last to arrive. Pushing the door open curiously, Lily and Remus were met by a fifth year jumping wildly off a desk in front of the door, reaching for something in the air which they clearly missed, if the crashing and sound of 'awwww's were anything to go by.

"Hard luck Ashby," James said from across the room, completely oblivious to Lily's presence. "Call yourself a Quidditch captain?! Looks like we're going to have an easy time against Hufflepuff this year." He laughed, and it wasn't until Lily had taken out her wand and frozen the frisbee mid-air that anyone noticed she was there at all.

The fifth years immediately climbed down from where many of them were perched on the tables, and the seventh year prefects at least had the decency to look at her apologetically.

"James," she said with a dangerous smile. "I see you've been imparting upon the fifth years the importance of not getting caught with banned items."

"Er," James replied, and a few people sniggered behind their hands. "Yeah?" He said sheepishly, turning to the fifth years. "I was going to confiscate it right after the game was finished."

"Mmm-hmm," Lily replied, joining James behind the teacher's desk while the prefects shuffled to the front beside them. "Now," she said, addressing the fifth years. "We're all here to assign one of the seventh years to the subjects you need to be tutored in. From then on it will be each prefect's responsibility to let their study-group know which day of the week they'll be meeting and where. Remember, if your teacher has suggested you take these extra sessions, it's really important to turn up - we've all been in your position before and can answer a lot of the questions you might have about spells, or try to simplify what might seem like complicated theories."

She dug around in her pocket for the list of subjects they had to assign themselves and the other seventh years to, and handed it to James, looking at him expectantly.

"Right, okay," he said, "seventh years come here and we'll sort this out."

After ten minutes of squabbling over subjects, during which time the fifth years grew bored and one of them used a summoning spell to retrieve the frisbee from Lily - which was an impressive bit of magic that James got told off for complimenting - they finally managed to sort out who was tutoring what.

James had ended up with transfiguration, Remus with defence against the dark arts, and Lily with charms. Since lots of the students needed to be tutored in more than one subject, there wasn't much point splitting up and starting right away, so instead they simply took turns sorting out a weekly slot for each subject. James arranged for his group to meet on Wednesdays before Quidditch practice, and with that out the way he left the others to it and was relieved to get out of the overcrowded classroom.

Chloe only needed tutoring in transfiguration, so she left just after James and soon caught up with him on the way up to the Gryffindor tower.

"Hey, wait up!" She said, bounding up to him on the first floor staircase. "That was a right hassle, eh?"

"A bit," James agreed. "Should help you all out though."

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Head Boy," she laughed. "Weird, that. I suppose you're not used to it either." As she often did, Chloe didn't give him time to respond to just how strange it was before ploughing on and asking, "So how was your summer? You and Evans seem like an old married couple already."

"It was good," James laughed, tugging her to one side as they approached the fourth floor and gesturing to a shortcut behind a painting. "Me and Lily definitely got closer."

"Oh realllly," she grinned, drawing out the word and wiggling her eyebrows at James under the candle-light of the thin passageway they'd entered.

"Aren't you too young for those sort of thoughts?" James chastised jokingly. "I didn't mean it that way, but how about you and Benjy? You seemed to really hit it off last year."

"He's awesome," Chloe agreed, getting a dreamy look in her eye that James really hoped he didn't mirror when he talked about Lily. "Turns out we live pretty close to each other so he came over a lot in summer - even our parents met and mine we're blown away with loads of cool magic that his mum showed them. It's weird that even though I'm a witch they hadn't really seen any before since I can't practice at home. They're muggles, obviously. But yeah, it's going super well. Benjy's really fun and he has a little sister who's adorable. And, just between the two of us, he's not too bad in the sack."

"What!?" James spluttered as Chloe dashed ahead of him with a wicked grin on her face, pushing through the back of a painting and out onto the seventh floor corridor. "Chloe!"

"Keep calm grandpa," she said as James stepped out after her, "I'm only messing with you." She winked for good measure

James shook his head, trying not to be offended at being called "grandpa" - though in all honesty he did feel a lot older than Chloe. He never would have thought two years could make such a difference, but he had changed a lot since he was 15. And with his new Head Boy status, he felt like he was responsible for the younger students - Chloe especially. She'd always been a whirlwind, loud and full of energy even when she was only a first year, but he'd barely known her until she joined the Quidditch team a year ago. Since then, she'd continued to impress and surprise him, finding fun in everything even when nobody else could.

With what Dumbledore had said earlier in the week about the coming danger, James could only hope that he was right about Hogwarts being the safest place to be.


	30. The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black

20th August 1977

_Regulus knew he wasn't supposed to be downstairs, but he was in the middle of packing his trunk for his return to Hogwarts in September, and with Kreacher's help he had looked everywhere he could think of and hadn't been able to find the new books he'd bought in Diagon Alley._

_He suspected they might be in the drawing room along with the peacock feather quills his father had bought, and seeing as his family were gathered in the dining room, he was confident that he could get the books without drawing the attention of his parents._

_He crept down the stairs easily enough, almost slipped on the freshly polished floor of the hallway, and was just walking past the door to the dining room when his attention was caught by a name that up until now he hadn't heard his family use._

" _Don't call him that, Bella," his mother scolded his cousin, and Regulus inched closer to the door, hovering with his ear pressed against the wood to try and hear the conversation._

" _He wishes to be called it," Bellatrix argued. "Tom is a name as plain as any man but Voldemort? Voldemort is the name of someone who goes beyond the ordinary."_

_Curious, he leant forward, his hand pressing against the door – which opened a few inches, the old hinges giving a loud creak._

" _Kreacher!" his mother's voice snapped, and Regulus stepped backwards automatically. The footfalls of high heels against the wooden floorboards approached him and the door was wrenched open. His mother frowned down at him. "Oh, Regulus. I told you very clearly not to come down here, did I not?"_

" _Yes mother, I'm sorry – I was just looking for my school books to pack. I'll go back upstairs, sorry."_

" _Wait." Bellatrix joined Mrs Black at the door, looking at Regulus contemplatively. "Isn't it about time he heard this? He isn't like his brother, after all."_

_Mrs Black didn't look convinced, but Regulus hurriedly said, "She's right, mother. You'd be surprised how many people at school are supporters of" – he hesitated, glancing at Bellatrix – "Voldemort."_

_Bellatrix nodded approvingly. "See, Walburga, at least one of your sons is smart enough to know which way the tide is turning." She turned to Regulus. "Come in, cousin, we have much to discuss."_

" _Very well," Mrs Black relented, stepping aside to let Regulus pass. "I suppose it's only a matter of time."  
_

* * *

20th September 1977

Sirius' seventh year potions classes turned out to be quite fun. It wasn't the potions themselves that were particularly entertaining, but it was the absence of the Slytherins and the misfortune of his friend that Sirius enjoyed most of all. Remus was, overall, good at potions – he just wasn't as good as he tended to be in other subjects, often adding his ingredients too soon, or forgetting to stir his cauldron halfway through a brew.

Sirius wasn't really paying attention to him when it happened – instead talking to Mary and Lily at the table next to theirs – but an alarmed cough and a puff of blue smoke later and Sirius turned to find a Remus who was red in the face and had positively bright green hair.

"Moony," he said, trying his hardest to keep a straight face as his friend pulled down a strand of his own hair and inspected it in growing horror, "what exactly did you do?"

"I don't know!" Remus replied, panicked, "I just put the powder in the potion and it made a weird cloud and now – " he gestured to himself helplessly.

"Yeah," Sirius said, taking the bottle Remus had added to his cauldron. "I hate to break it to you mate, but this isn't even the right powder, Merlin knows what concoction you've made."

Remus snatched the bottle out of his hand with a frown. "How did… What if it won't come out?!"

Sirius smirked and pushed Remus' hands down from where they were still buried in his mossy coloured hair. "It's really quite fetching," he said, trying not to laugh, "right girls?" He added, and Mary and Lily nodded while trying to stifle their own giggles.

"Oh har-har, you're all evil," Remus replied, glancing at his watch. Thankfully it was almost the end of the lesson and Slughorn might not even notice the mess he'd made, since the potions were supposed to be brewing overnight anyway. He could just fix it tomorrow and make up the extra time after class.

"It's really adorable," Sirius continued, starting to pack away his own things. "You look just like a forest pixie or, you know, a tree."

"I am a dark creature," Remus muttered, lowering his voice. "I am neither adorable nor pixie-like. A tree, maybe…"

"An adorable tree," Sirius grinned, and Slughorn called out that they could all leave before Remus could argue any further.

The corridors around the dungeons were really quite cold when they stepped out of the classroom, summer well and truly left behind now that September was fading into October and the leaves on the trees were turning orange and crisp.

Remus turned to Sirius as they left and said morosely, "I'm going to Madame Pomfrey after dinner, do you think she'll be able to fix it?"

"I'm sure she will, mate," Sirius replied, resisting the urge to tease him anymore. It really wasn't all that bad, almost suited him, and Sirius wasn't entirely sure what all the fuss was about.

They were nearing the staircase back up to the main entrance when Sirius felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see someone he really didn't expect to be trying to get his attention.

"What?" he snapped, stepping away instinctively when his brother didn't let go of him.

"Sirius," Regulus replied, looking around anxiously as the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws from their class scuttled up the stairs. "Can I… have a word?"

"What?" Sirius said again, glaring at his brother in the low light of the dungeons. Regulus looked just as uncomfortable as he felt, and Sirius couldn't imagine them having anything at all worth discussing.

"I want to talk to you," Regulus said then, his dark eyes taking on the pleading edge that Sirius still associated with a seven year old hoping to get his way.

"Sirius?" Remus called from half way up the stairs, clearly only just realising that his friend hadn't followed him.

Sirius turned back to him, saw the barely concealed concern in his eyes and shook his head minutely. "I'll be up in a minute," he said to Remus. "Go and have dinner."

"Thank you," Regulus said, stepping to one side before walking a little way back along the corridor Sirius had just come down, looking behind him twice to make sure his brother hadn't disappeared.

_"This had better be good," Sirius muttered, and followed him.  
_

* * *

They ended up in an abandoned classroom a few doors down from the Potions room, and it was only when Regulus closed the door and lit some of the candles closest to them that Sirius noticed how tired and thin in the face his brother looked.

"Hiding in abandoned classrooms," Sirius said, averting his gaze and slumping against the wall by the door, "aren't you supposed to be a prefect now?"

"Look," Regulus said, completely ignoring the sarcastic comment and perching on the edge of a table. "I know we haven't spoken properly since you left –”

"I seem to remember quite the quality bonding session in the Quidditch shop last summer."

"But I thought you should know – things are happening, moving more quickly than I'd thought, and I'm a part of it now." He tugged uncomfortably at the sleeves of his robe, not meeting his brother's eye.

"What are you going on about?" Sirius said eventually, not understanding, and not feeling in the most patient of moods.

"Just before we came back to school," Regulus said, taking a deep breath, "there were people around the house – important people. Loads of the family were there and a few others – people who know Voldemort, who call themselves death eaters. They were talking about him and what he wants. I don't think I was supposed to hear it but Bella told me to come in and –"

"If you didn't want to hear it," Sirius cut in, standing up straighter, "you could have just left. I didn't know you were following orders from dear old Bellatrix now."

He felt irrationally angry. Voldemort had only been talked about in whispers around the school – the rumours about the Greengrass family, snippets of conversation they'd caught from the Potters in summer and a name amongst some purebloods that was spoken as a whisper in tight knit circles. Sirius didn't belong at Grimmauld Place any more – he never had, really – but he still felt a swell of anger that people who believed such bollocks had been welcomed into a place he'd once called home.

"Sirius, just _listen_ ," Regulus sighed, "it isn't about that, okay? They were talking and I don't know how serious they are or what they're going to do, but there was a lot of talk about Dumbledore – apparently he’s recruiting people and Voldemort is worried about it. You know how it is and Dumbledore's a great wizard, we don't want a fight but -”

"We?"

"Look," Regulus replied, raising his voice, "I'm trying to tell you - _help_ you -"

"You don't want a fight? Are you part of his little gang now, Reg? A _death eater_?” he sneered.

Sirius had approached his brother and was standing over him while Regulus remained seated on the table, unmoving other than the twitching of his fingers – looking unnaturally, infuriatingly, calm.

"Why aren't you answering me?"

"Because you're over reacting."

"Ha!" Sirius yelped, "do you remember when my friend Mary was attacked last year by people you hang around with, Reg? Remember how you were _there?_ I carried her to the hospital wing myself, blood all over me. Do you know I found my best mate's girlfriend almost in tears after she heard about a first year who was hexed just for being muggleborn? How my muggle studies professor has barely covered a week's worth of material yet this year because she spends most of class trying to answer people's questions about why things like that keep happening? I don't think I'm over reacting." He paused, an icy silence descending between the two of them. "But it's nice to know where you stand."

"Sirius -”

"I'm done with this conversation."

"Fine." Regulus spat, folding his arms across his chest. He looked angry and, if Sirius had allowed himself to notice it for even a second, just a little bit sad in the involuntary wobble of his lip. His eyes were full of disappointment and a hint of fear, but all Sirius could see was the fury he mirrored back as he stomped across the classroom and out of the door.

"I won't try again," Regulus called, "if you walk away now I -”

Sirius slammed the door behind him.

 


	31. The Marauder's Map

Sirius hadn't had the stomach to go to the great hall for dinner. Instead he'd taken the long way back to the dorm, traipsing the halls with heavy footsteps and a heavier heart. He'd hoped walking around would help him calm down. He'd been wrong.

By the time he made it back to the dorm, his head was still buzzing with his brother's words, anger fuelling him when kicked off his shoes, then kicked the edge of his bed for good measure.

"Fuck," he swore, falling down onto his mattress and grabbing his throbbing foot, "bloody fucking - ugh."

"Very articulate, Pads."

The words came from James, who was standing in the doorway with a tilt to his head and worry in his eyes, despite his smile.

Sirius didn't reply. He rolled over and swung his legs across the other side of the bed so that his back was to James, trying to ignore the red hot pain still lingering in his toes.

He heard rather than saw his other friends enter the room, and the whispered "is he alright?" Remus directed at James.

"I'm fine," Sirius snapped at them. "Nothing like a good family reunion."

"What happened?" James asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, beside Sirius. "Moony said you talked to Regulus but we thought we'd see you at dinner..."

Sirius shrugged, refusing to meet James' eyes. Then muttered, "It doesn't matter, I wasn't hungry anyway."

"Well, then, I'll just eat the pie we snuck out for you myself," Peter said, pulling a small and slightly squashed pie wrapped in napkins out of his pocket. He looked at it with serious consideration before reaching over to put it on Sirius' bedside table.

"Thanks," Sirius muttered.

"You don't have to talk about it," Remus told him.

"But you can if you want," James added.

"I just don't know what his problem is," Sirius said, standing up and turning to his friends. He usually didn't like to think about his family, but it was near impossible not to after the confrontation with Regulus. "No, it's not even that - it's that he thinks I _care_. Why would I give a toss what he does with his life?"

He paused, staring at his friends, who remained silent, so he picked up the pie from his bedside table.

"If he wants to run around with Voldemort thinking he's something special then fine. As if Dumbledore would ever be scared of a bunch of halfwit pureblood idiots anyway."

He took a bite, savouring the still slightly warm cheese and potato that fell out of the pastry.

"And I'll tell you what," he said with a full mouth, brandishing the other half of pie at his friends, "Voldemort is a stupid name anyway. What is that even supposed to mean?"

"Wait," James said with a frown, holding up one hand to stop Sirius' rant, "Regulus is working for Voldemort?"

"By choice?" Remus added.

Sirius scowled, "I don't know. He said he's _involved_ whatever that means. But you're missing the point – which is that I don't care. About anything he does."

He folded his arms poignantly over his chest.

"But..." Peter said tentatively, "we’ve heard he's gathering followers, right? So he could've, you know -"

"- recruited Regulus." James was growing fidgety, a sure sign that he was feeling stressed. "What did he say about Voldemort, exactly? You mentioned Dumbledore?"

"Look, I'm sorry if you would have rather we sat down for a nice chat about the finer details of how to be a massive git, but surprisingly I wasn't exactly eager to stick around and ask questions."

He glared from James to Peter, before sighing and adding, "he said Voldemort is, I don't know, worried about Dumbledore's people. He wanted to tell me something I suppose, but we're not even involved in anything Dumbledore's planning. So I slammed the door in his smug little face, alright?"

James opened his mouth and then closed it again, looking at the floor.

Then Remus, quiet until now, said with considerable exasperation, "So you didn't actually listen to what he was telling you about a rumoured serial killer? It's kind of a big deal, you know, especially if he was talking about Dumbledore. What if it's to do with Hogwarts? What if we're in danger? Or your _brother_ is in danger?"

"Then he put himself there," Sirius barked, furious at the sudden attack from his friends, however delicate they were trying, and failing to be.

He felt cornered, and a strong desire to kick something else was building inside him. He needed to clear his head, get away from James, Remus and Peter, who seemed to be doing their best to not shout back at him. Of course at the time he hadn't considered it, but the suggestion that he really might have put them at risk by not listening to Regulus was enough to make him feel dizzy.

"I need to get out of here," he said, when no one else seemed eager to try and help.

He started to leave, but was stopped by James' hand on his shoulder.

"Padfoot, I'm sure Regulus is fine and whatever's going on, Dumbledore can handle it."

Sirius glanced at Remus, who gave a small, uncertain nod, and Peter, who smiled encouragingly. They stood in tense silence for a moment before James continued, "You know, if Dumbledore is getting ready for a fight, maybe we can do a little detective work - keep an eye on who he's seeing."

"How?" Peter asked eagerly.

"The map," Remus said. "But it keeps playing up because of the moving stairs and getting the different floors mixed up. Not much use if we can't tell who actually talks to Dumbledore."

"Then it's a good thing I have an idea to fix that," James said, grinning. "What do you say, Pads? Ready to perfect the marauder's map?"

Sirius smiled, barely. "Sure."

* * *

They had pushed the furniture apart so they could spread the map out on the floor in the centre of the dorm. James was cross legged, leaning over the map with a crease of concentration between his eyebrows and his glasses slipping down his nose. He was pointing his wand at the staircases, next to which moving dots with names of students seemed to be walking through thin air. Peter was sitting next to him, murmuring words of encouragement and warning James not to set anything on fire like last time. The scorch mark, now covered by Remus’ trunk, was a stark reminder of the last time they’d tried, and failed, to finish the map.

Space on the floor was limited, so Remus and Sirius were perched on Sirius' bed, watching James with some amusement as he almost punctured the map from stabbing it so hard with his wand. Neither of them had said much since their conversation about Regulus and there was still a lingering tension between the two of them.

From what Remus could tell, Sirius seemed to be watching James intently, now and then suggesting an alteration to a spell that he thought might help get the map working properly. James and Sirius had always had a knack for altering standard spells in ways that worked surprisingly well.

"Hey," Remus said quietly, just as James let out a triumphant cheer and moved on to another part of the map.

When Sirius turned to him, he was actually smiling again.

"Earlier - I didn't mean - I know it's hard for you with your brother." He paused, crinkling his eyebrows together. "I'm sorry your family's so shit. There's no right or wrong way to react to that, I think you're brave for talking to him in the first place." He automatically reached out to squeeze Sirius' hand and didn’t think anything of the gesture before he noticed that Sirius' eyes were scanning him curiously. He smiled faintly and withdrew his hand.

“Well I am a Gryffindor,” Sirius joked a little too loudly. There was an awkward pause, and then he added, tugging on Remus’ hair, “I see you’re back to normal.”

"Thankfully," Remus agreed, vaguely aware of James and Peter still talking about the map nearby. "McGonagall fixed it for me at dinner, she laughed herself silly when she saw me too, didn't even try to hide it."

"Good old McGonagall," Sirius laughed. He looked away for a moment, then said more softly, "and thanks, Moony."

"Yeah," Remus smiled. "Any time."

Feeling calmer than before, Sirius turned his attention back to the map, which judging by Peter and James' expressions, was coming along nicely. Sirius slipped down onto the floor, leaning across Peter to inspect James' spell work.

"Is it working?" he asked hopefully.

"I think it is," James grinned, pointing to one of the staircases, which moved much more smoothly that before and didn't seem to be teleporting any of their fellow students' dots to unexplained parts of the castle.

"Brilliant," Sirius said, clapping James on the shoulder. "Now we just need a decent prank idea and someone to hide from."

"Or someone to follow," James said.

"Err, actually," Peter said, pushing Sirius away so that he could see more clearly. "Look at that."

He pointed to a particular dot on the map, and James and Sirius leaned closer to see it - even Remus climbed off the bed and knelt down beside them.

"Marlene McKinnon," James said, looking around at his three friends, all of whom appeared just as baffled as him.   
  
“And here,” Remus added, tapping the space beside Marlene’s dot, where ‘Fabian Prewett,’ had appeared. “Wasn’t he a Gryffindor prefect?”

“And a great Quidditch player,” James nodded, watching the dots curiously, "What are they doing here?"

"Something in Dumbledore's office by the looks of it," Peter said, nodding at Marlene's dot, which was now stationary on the circle of parchment that marked their headmaster's quarters.

"Well Prongs," Sirius said, feeling his spirits lift at the prospect of an adventure. "Looks like we won’t have to wait long to figure out what Dumbledore’s up to after all."

* * *

They had been waiting in the corridor outside the headmaster's office for twenty minutes when the gargoyle began to move, revealing a set of stone steps that first Marlene's ankles, then the rest of her, appeared from. She was frowning, but when she saw the four of them she grinned.

"Well, look who it is," she said. "You must be making even more trouble than usual to be sent to Dumbledore's office."

"Although your faith in our mischief making brings me great joy Marls, we were actually looking for you." James glanced around her, expecting to see Fabian following her down the stairs, but the gargoyle was already sliding back into place.

"Oh yeah?" Marlene said, narrowing her eyes at them. "And why were you looking for me? Don't you have more important things to do? Quidditch training maybe?" She looked pointedly at James and folded her arms, "or has the team crashed and burned without me?"

"Our team's spirit may never recover, it's true," James said, "but that's not the point. What were you seeing Dumbledore about?”

Marlene raised her eyebrows. "How come you're so curious?"

"We know Dumbledore's planning something," Remus said. After a pause, he clarified, "to do with Voldemort."

"You just can't keep your noses out of anything, can you?" She glanced back at the gargoyle to make sure it was sealed. "Look, Dumbledore wants everything secret, but I guess since you're of age..." She hesitated, but James' insistent "Yeah?" spurred her on. "You're right about him working against Voldemort - and that isn't a name you should be throwing around, by the way."

"Working against him how?" Peter asked.

"For now, just preparing things – gathering information, contacting people. That sort of thing."

"What kind of people? What for?" James asked.

"Useful people, I don't know." She shrugged. "People from the ministry, a couple of aurors. I guess anyone who wants to fight back and stop all this shit that's happening."

"Wha-" James began, but Marlene interrupted him.

"I'm no expert, okay. Dumbledore's not one for spilling all his secrets. Talk to him yourself if you're so interested."

"Would he listen?" Sirius asked cautiously. "I mean, would he involve us in his plans if we asked?"

"Not if the conversation Lily and I had with him at the beginning of term is anything to go by," James said, looking frustrated.

"Yeah, I doubt it," Marlene agreed. "I think he's trying to keep things separate from Hogwarts – doesn't want anyone getting involved if they're still at school."

"But we're all of age," Sirius said indignantly.

"Yeah, why shouldn't we be able to help?" Peter asked.

Marlene looked at the four of them and shook her head. "Don't be so ready to throw yourselves into a fight. I can't believe I'm saying this, but you should focus on your classes and on Quidditch – Gryffindor could do with another year of winning the cup. Getting involved with this – it's not something you should take lightly, trust me."

She signed, taking a few steps towards the four of them when they looked nothing but disappointed. "Finish school, okay? Enjoy yourselves and next year – well, let's just say that if you want to be involved, I'm sure we'll still need people who are willing. We need to prepare for what's to come, and for me that means helping Dumbledore, but for you guys it means making the most of the time you have left here, okay?"

"Okay," James said, slightly taken aback by the seriousness of Marlene's words. She wasn't exactly the kind of person he expected to tell them to back off, especially as she had only just left Hogwarts herself.

"Good," she said, just as the stone gargoyle behind her began to move once more. The sound of it made the boys jumped, but Marlene didn’t seem surprised at all. "Besides,” she remarked, “I don't think Dumbeldore would want a bunch of slackers who fail all their NEWTs in his secret club anyway." She winked at them, before turning to watch as Fabian descended the stairs from the headmaster’s office.

“You waited for me,” he said upon seeing her, smiling warmly.

He was tall and had the muscular frame of a professional Quidditch player, Sirius noticed as they watched Marlene smile back at him, though his ginger hair and freckles made him look kind and boyish.

“Didn’t want you getting lost,” Marlene said. Her eyes flickered back to the boys once more, before the she took Fabian’s hand in hers, and the two of them started down the corridor towards the entrance hall.

“Bye guys,” she called just before they were out of sight. “Try to stay out of trouble!”


	32. Animagi

Lily pulled James the last few steps towards the lake, its black water shimmering in the dark November evening. The only light was coming from the castle windows, now far behind them, and the soft glow of Lily's wand that she held slightly in front of her with one hand. The other hand was holding on to James', both of them wearing thick winter gloves, so that their fingers linking together felt clumsier than usual.

"It's a beautiful night," Lily said as she looked out across the lake and to the edge of the forest that quickly disappeared into a jagged expanse of black leaves in the low light.

James hmmed quietly from beside her. He was looking across the grounds with eyes that betrayed the fact he wasn't really concentrating on what they were doing at all. They had both needed some time away from the bustle of classes and meals and the common room, so they were abusing their Head Boy and Girl positions slightly to snatch a moment of peace out on the grounds. But even out here, far away from all that they were responsible for, their worries seemed to have followed them as surely as their shadows stretching out behind them. 

Stepping in front of him, Lily momentarily let go of his hand and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek, snapping him out of the whatever daydream he'd been engrossed in.

"No one blames you for losing the match," she said softly. "Everyone knows there's a lot of other stuff going on right now and you’ve had so much on your mind since we saw Marlene."

"I'm the captain, it's my responsibility."

"There are six other people on the team, James. You trained them well but when it comes down to it you can't be in control of everything." When he continued to look downcast, she added, "It's not over, you know. You can still win the cup."

"We're going to get back to practicing as soon as I can schedule it in. Need to keep up morale and all that. It'll have to wait a couple of days though - it's the full moon tomorrow."

They both automatically looked up. It was a clear night, though with a brisk cold wind, and the waxing moon was bright.

"I know you think you need to protect everyone, love. But there's only so much you can do." As she returned to his side, James watched the way her wand-light cast streaking shadows across her face as she moved, lighting up her freckles like the stars. "I know you all get up at a stupid time in the morning after a full moon to make sure Remus is okay, but you need to make sure you're okay too. I'll be there in hospital wing with Madame Pomfrey all weekend anyway, I can make sure he's alright. Just make sure you get enough sleep."

"I sometimes forget," James smiled, “how lucky I am to have you telling me what to do.”

He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that she was right. He felt like he needed to sleep for days just to let the weight of everything they’d learnt over the past few weeks settle in his mind. But Lily didn’t know the real reason why he was so tired the mornings after a full moon – didn’t know about his animagus form. It was unsettling, James thought, that they could be so close without her knowing something so important about him. 

* * *

When James got back to the dorm, Remus, Sirius and Peter were already there, clad in pyjamas and talking about their plans for tomorrow's full moon. The map and invisibility cloak were already laid out on his bed-side table in preparation.

"You alright?" Peter asked as James sat down on his bed and began to yank off his shoes. "You look kind of gloomy."

"I'm just thinking,"

"A rare and dangerous thing," Remus said.

James threw his shoe at him.

"I was just talking to Lily about it being the full moon and was thinking that maybe we should tell her about the whole animagus thing. She already knows the biggest secret" – he gestured to Remus, who replied that he was indeed a mysterious and classified secret – "so maybe it's about time she knew the rest."

"How do you plan on bringing that up in conversation?" Sirius asked, a slight smirk playing on his lips, "Lily, I know that I'm a _stag_ eringly amazing boyfriend, but _deer_ , I just have to tell you that..."

He was cut off by James placing a hand not too gently over his mouth, pushing him backwards onto the bed with the first genuine laugh Sirius had seen from him since losing the match.

"I figured I'd just show her," James said. "I'm not convinced she'd actually believe me otherwise."

"Do we all have to be there?" Peter asked. "Because if Lily gets mad at us for the whole breaking the law thing I don't want to be within reach."

"Just me," James said, trying not to think too much about how the conversation would go. "Tomorrow?"

"Before Remus comes down with Pomfrey," Peter suggested.

"Okay," he said. "I'll do it, if that's alright with you, Remus?"

Remus nodded. “It's about time she knew."

* * *

"What's this about?" Lily asked. James had insisted they talk after dinner and was being very vague about why.

"Come on," James said. "It needs to be somewhere private and Flitwick always leaves his classroom unlocked."

"It's not something bad, is it?" Lily asked. "I mean, you're not breaking up with me or anything, are you?"

James stopped halfway down the corridor and turned to her in bewilderment. "What? Of course not. Definitely absolutely not. You just - there's something you should know about."

"Okay..."

They continued to Flitwick's classroom and James firmly shut the door behind him, magically locking it and pushing a desk in front of it for good measure. Lily was standing with her eyebrows raised and her arms crossed.

"If you're about to tell me you killed a man I want nothing to do with it," she said. "I am far too tired to be burying any bodies tonight."

"No bodies, honest." He paced back and forth a few times. "Look, when Remus told you about being a werewolf, that wasn't the whole story. When the rest of us first figured it out we wanted to do something to help him, but Madam Pomfrey had the healing part covered and the real problem was that Remus was hurting himself when he transformed. We wanted to help but obviously we couldn't be around him during the full moon unless we wanted to start a werewolf band, so we - well - I'm just going to show you."

James took a moment to ready himself, nodded firmly, and then transformed.

Lily watched as he scrunched up his nose and closed his eyes, clearly concentrating hard.

And suddenly James wasn't James at all. It was strange to watch, the way his body morphed and regained shape in a way completely alien to Lily, looking almost painful.

Instinctively she took a few steps backwards, blinking rapidly as she took in the form now standing on four legs in front of her, so close to Professor Flitwick's desk that he knocked off an expensive looking set of scales.

"What the..." Lily didn't know what to say. Of all the things she'd been expected as James dragged her into the classroom, her boyfriend transforming into a huge, real life deer had not been one of them.

"You're an animagus?" She asked eventually, her brain finally filtering away enough of her disbelief to make room for logical thought.

James bowed his head and scraped one hoof on the classroom floor, which Lily took to mean yes.

"But that means... oh. Oh no. James Potter you transform back right now. I have a lot to say, but I need to say it to a person, not a deer!"

James changed back and stood sheepishly with his hands in his pockets.

"Sorry for not telling you before now," he said. "It's just that Sirius and Peter are animagi too so..."

"And I suppose they're an elephant and a hippopotamus, are they?"

"A dog and a rat, actually."

"Right. So a stag, a dog and a rat have been hanging around in the Shrieking Shack with a werewolf. That sounds really safe and not at all idiotic."

"Not the Shrieking Shack, actually." He looked at the floor. "It's too enclosed. We tend to, er, sneak out to the forest."

"That's so dangerous!" she said, more loudly than she'd meant to. "Any of you could get hurt, or caught, or Remus could hurt someone else. You can't just have a werewolf wander around the grounds like a stray dog!"

"It's not his fault," James said indignantly. "None of this was his idea, and we're always careful."

"Oh, I don't blame Remus. I blame you and Black and Pettigrew for breaking the law and a hundred school rules at age seventeen."

“Fifteen, actually."

Lily paused. "Hang on, you did notoriously complicated and difficult magic without any help in fifth year? And no one exploded? None of you even got caught?"

James grinned, but this was a mistake.

"Don't you think I'm any less mad at your ridiculous ideas just because the magic involved was impressive."

"In our defence, we did it for Remus," James said. "It just seemed so horrible for him and we thought we could make it a bit more bearable. He's been hurting himself much less since we've been transforming with him."

Lily sighed. "Dammit, now it's hard to be angry at you." She thought for a moment. "Are you transforming tonight?"

"...that's the plan," James said cautiously.

"Well, just be careful, okay? And I mean actually careful and not the James Potter version of careful. You fly a broom recklessly enough and this is much more dangerous. If you get yourself killed, I'll be really bloody angry with you."

James grinned. "You don't have to worry," he assured her, “we know what we’re doing.”

* * *

Sirius woke up to find himself in the hospital wing, sitting propped up with his head on Remus’ shoulder. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but clearly their night time wanderings had tired him out more than usual.

“Morning,” Remus said, sounding amused.

“Sorry,” Sirius replied hurriedly, removing his head from Remus’ shoulder. He was about to get up off the bed when Remus’ hand on his arm stopped him.

“You can stay there if you want,” he said. “You make quite a good pillow.”

“Oh okay.” Sirius leant back and turned to Remus, tucking his legs under himself.

“Not that you have to stay,” Remus added. “I’ve told you that you don’t have to stay with me for all the healing stuff. You could go and get some proper sleep in the dorm with the others.”

“I like staying with you,” Sirius insisted. “Besides, the others probably won’t be along for a while. I saw Peter collapse on the sofa and I wouldn’t be surprised if James and Lily made use of the empty dorm.”

Remus scrunched up his nose. “Don’t make me think about them being in bed together.”

“Obviously us in bed together is a much nicer image,” Sirius said, just before realising the implications of his words. “I mean – not like that – just that we’re the most attractive couple.” He paused again, trying not to think about how his legs were pressed up against Remus’ under the covers. “Wait, no – you know what I mean!”

“We are more attractive, it’s true,” Remus agreed, taking pity on Sirius.

It was at that moment that Madam Pomfrey came through from her office, a freshly-brewed potion in hand.

“I don’t know how Remus is supposed to get any sleep when you’re always here pestering him in the mornings,” she told Sirius, only half sternly.

“He’s helping,” Remus insisted, “in his own strange way.”

“Apparently I make a good pillow,” Sirius added, smiling up at Remus teasingly.

“If you say so,” Madam Pomfrey replied, leaving the potion on his bedside table. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

* * *

It was only 7.30am when Lily got out of bed. She hadn't been able to sleep much, knowing where James and the others were, worrying this month not just about Remus but also about the rest of them.

She was one of the first people in the Great Hall for breakfast, unsurprising at such an early hour on a Saturday, and ate quickly before making her way to the hospital wing.

Given the fact that the sun had barely risen, she expected not to see James and the others until much later in the day, now knowing they’d have gotten no sleep the night before. She was therefore extremely surprised when, just as she was about to open the door to the hospital wing, it opened from the inside and Sirius stepped out.

"Oh," he said, clearly not expecting to run into anyone either.

"Oh yourself," Lily replied.

He looked exhausted, with dark shadows under his eyes and the distinct whiff of the forest about him. He was smiling though.

"Is everyone alright?" Lily asked, looking around the door to Remus, who appeared equally exhausted but wasn't showing any obvious signs of serious injury.

"Yeah all fine, don't worry so much Evans. We have it covered."

"I'm sure," she replied tentatively. "You should get some sleep."

"On my way," he agreed, shuffling past her. "Thank Merlin it's Saturday, I don't think I could face McGonagall like this."

He shouted a goodbye to Remus, then left, a bounce in his step despite his evident exhaustion.

Lily sat down on the chair beside Remus' bed.

"How are you?" she asked immediately. The light from the tower window was shining down on him, highlighting a cluster of dense bruising along his right arm that was much more obvious close up.

"Not too bad," he replied with a shrug, "nothing that a few potions won't fix."

"Good," Lily said, smiling gently. It still unsettled her, how Remus could talk so casually about his injuries, even if they were painful or would leave lasting scars.

"Hasn't Sirius been to bed yet?" She asked then, pouring him a glass of water and holding it out. "James offered to wait up for me this morning but I told him to get some rest."

"He started staying over these last few months," Remus said, "he says he won't be able to sleep until he knows I'm alright, even though he obviously knows anyway - I'm fine." He gestured to himself as though to prove his point.

"I see" Lily said, inclining her head as she noticed the faint colour that had crept back into Remus' cheeks while he talked. “He obviously cares about you a lot.”

"I guess,” he said, looking away. “He's probably just worried."

"Mm, if you're sure that's all it is."

"So are you hanging around here all day?" Remus asked, moving the conversation swiftly on.

"Yeah, Pomfrey wants to teach me about some potions and healing magic. I've been looking forward to it actually."

"You'll make a good healer," Remus said.

"I'm not sure if that's what I want to do yet, but thanks. Everything's just a bit up in the air at the moment, you know?"

Remus nodded. He would have difficulty finding a job after Hogwarts, he knew, and with all the trouble brewing it was possible that muggleborns would start being turned away too.

"You should get some rest," she said. "I bet you're exhausted. I should still be around when you wake up."

He smiled at her. "Thanks, Lily. See you soon."

 


	33. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter includes descriptions of death and a funeral scene.

Sirius wasn't overly interested in muggle politics. Really, he wasn't especially over the moon about wizarding politics, so listening to his muggle studies professor ramble on about why she found it so shocking that only 9% of pureblood wizards voted in muggle elections wasn't exactly thrilling him.

He was busy chewing on the edge of his quill and staring at the graffiti on the back of the chair of the student in front of him when there was a knock at the door.

He turned around eagerly, always glad for an interesting interruption to a boring lesson. When McGonagall opened the door, he grew even more pleased, wondering if she were about to call someone out or announce some sort of emergency.

"Sorry to interrupt, Professor," she said sincerely, scanning the classroom. Her eyes fell on Sirius after a few seconds, and he felt a strange sense of dread as she pursed her lips and said, "I'm afraid I'm going to need Sirius to come with me."

Two things immediately struck Sirius as strange about her statement. Firstly, he was almost certain that he hadn't done anything wrong. No pranks had been played in a week, and there'd been no explosions in the dormitory for at least three. Secondly, she'd called him Sirius. After almost seven years, Sirius was fairly confident that he knew McGonagall well enough to know her habits, and rarely did she ever call a student by their first name in front of a class.

He stood up tentatively, abandoning his quill and parchment, but before he could get more than a step towards the door, she shook her head and said, "You'll need to bring your things with you."

Now he was really worried.

McGonagall's office was on the same floor as the muggle studies classroom, but despite the short walk, Sirius' mind determinedly informed him of a half dozen reasons why he might be in trouble and a good deal more terrible scenarios that might have befallen his friends, brother or the Potters since breakfast. Eventually, just as they were about to reach the office, he turned to McGonagall and, feeling quite helpless, asked, "has something happened?"

McGonagall looked at him with an expression that could only be described as pity, and the knot that had been twisting in Sirius' stomach since leaving class tightened so much that it was physically painful.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," McGonagall sighed, "but she wants to tell you herself."

She opened the office door and Sirius stepped inside.

There, sitting at McGonagall's desk, was a face that Sirius hadn't seen since he was seven years old. He might not have recognised her at all, had it not been for her stunning resemblance to her older sister. Andromeda Tonks looked both much older and paler than Sirius ever remembered seeing her, and her eyes were rimmed red and puffy.

"What's going on?" Sirius demanded, shocked and scared enough that taking another step into the room felt impossible.

"Why don't you sit down?" McGonagall suggested, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Sirius shrugged it off immediately, shaking his head. "Just tell me."

"You were so little the last time I saw you," Andromeda said, standing up and coming towards him. "I'm sorry I never got in contact with you after you left home. I didn't know whether you’d want to see me."

"It's fine," Sirius said. From what he remembered, Andromeda had been perfectly pleasant to him when they'd known one another, but his strongest memory of her was when she’d left, and the only warmth he felt from her presence was knowing that they were in the same situation in terms of their family.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," Andromeda told him solemnly, as if Sirius hadn't already gathered that much for himself. She took a deep, shaky breath, then with some effort said, "It's our Uncle Alphard. It was quite unexpected but... Sirius, he..."

"He what?"

She'd taken hold of his arm and Sirius wanted to rip it away from her, but he couldn't seem to move.

Alphard was the last member of his family that had shown him any kind of support. Other than Andromeda, who was here after ten years, trying to hold his hand while she gave him terrible news.

"Sirius, he died last night."

Sirius stayed silent.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Sirius snapped. He hated feeling this way – the rush of messy emotions – not knowing if he wanted to hit something or run away or cry. "I barely knew him." It was true, but it didn't stop the sickening rise of bile at the back of his throat.

He sat down on one of the chairs in front of McGonagall's desk, feeling ill and dizzy.

He was looking at the floor rather than at Andromeda's face, but her voice was strained when she said, "The funeral is a week from now. I know Alphard was hoping that he'd get to spend more time with you, and that it would have meant a lot to him if you could be there."

Again, he didn't reply, and eventually he saw his cousin and McGonagall step outside. They had a brief, whispered conversation before McGonagall returned alone, closing the office door behind her.

She sat down not at the opposite side of her desk but in the chair directly beside him.

"Sirius?"

He looked up briefly but couldn't quite bring himself to meet her gaze for too long, not when she was looking at him with such sickening concern.

"I know this must be incredibly hard for you," she said gently. "If you don't want to talk about it, I understand. If you do, you know that my door is always open."

Sirius nodded stiffly, trying not to let her words of kindness get to him. It still confused him, made him nervous almost, when adults he knew actually showed that they cared.

"Take as long as you need. I could send an owl to Mr and Mrs Potter to come and get you, if you like? Or get James?"

"James," he replied hoarsely. He didn't want to make the Potters worry about him more than they already did.

But James.

James would know what to do.

* * *

Sirius and James, dressed in their best black robes, walked until they were outside the boundary of the Hogwarts grounds, before apparating to a small church in the village a few miles from his Uncle Alphard's house. There were a few people already gathered outside the church talking softly, but they were all about his uncle's age and he didn't recognise any of them.

"Do we just... wait?" Sirius asked James, lingering on the pavement instead of walking up to the building. "Should I talk to people? I've never been to a funeral before."

"I'm sure it won't be long until it starts. Everyone's here for your uncle, they're not going to be paying attention to you."

Sirius doubted this, as a couple of them had looked at him curiously and he thought he'd seen a woman's mouth form the word "Black", but he appreciated James saying it anyway.

"It just feels weird," he said. "Uncle Alphard was great but I only stayed with him for a couple of weeks and barely even knew him until I got disowned. I feel like I'm intruding or something. I bet everyone knows I'm his family and they have to know he was cut off."

"Mate, he left half his money to you – he obviously cared about you. I'm sure it meant a lot to him that you were in his life when almost all of his relatives were less than friendly towards him."

"Yeah, I guess." This made him feel a little better, though there was still an empty pit in his stomach that hadn't gone away since he found out about his uncle' death a week ago. "Thanks, Prongs. You didn't have to come, you know."

"As if I would let you go to this alone," James scoffed.

"Oh, there's Andromeda and Ted, I'd better say hi."

The two of them had appeared a few metres away, and after taking a moment to collect themselves, Andromeda spotted Sirius. There was still a sense of awkwardness between them after not seeing each other for so long, but they smiled at each other sadly and Andromeda hesitantly pulled him into a hug.

"I'm glad you came," she said as she let him go. "How are you?"

"Alright, I guess," Sirius said. "This is James, by the way."

She smiled at him. "Potter, isn't it? Your parents took Sirius in?"

"Yeah," James said. "He was like my brother already, so it made sense."

Andromeda squeezed his shoulder. "I'm glad to hear it."

Everyone turned towards the sound of a carriage's wheels on the cobbled streets. There were no horses pulling it, just a man sitting at the front with his wand in his hand.

"Doesn't this look a bit weird to the muggles?" Sirius asked. "And with us all in robes."

"It's a predominantly wizarding village," Andromeda said. "I expect the muggles who live here are used to things being a bit strange."

The church doors opened of their own volition and everyone began to shuffle inside. Sirius tried to sit near the back but Andromeda gestured for him and James to sit with them at the front pew. Once everyone was seated, an organ began to play itself and the coffin floated through the doors, the man from the carriage guiding it with his wand.

Sirius couldn't keep his eyes from following the coffin, thinking about the last time he'd seen his uncle and how different he must look now. He wondered whether his laugh lines and the creases around his eyes were still noticeable. He couldn't help but wish he'd had longer with his uncle, and it made him furious to think that he'd been kept away from the few decent people in his family: he'd only known Alpahard for six months and hadn't seen Andromeda for a decade until now.

James gently nudged him in the elbow; Sirius hadn't been listening to what the wizard delivering the funeral was saying. "You okay?" James mouthed. Sirius nodded, drawing himself out of his thoughts as Andromeda got up to speak.

* * *

After the funeral, there was no wake due to Alphard having very few relatives whom he was still in contact with. James and Sirius had been planning to go straight back to Hogwarts, but Andromeda invited them over for lunch and James accepted before Sirius had the chance to back out. James knew Sirius felt a bit uncomfortable around Andromeda and Ted, partially because of the age difference between them and partially because they were both very aware of the family they'd come from when they were around each other. But Sirius was distinctly lacking in loving family, James' parents excluded, so James thought it was important for him to spend more time with the few relatives he still had.

He had been expecting a mirror image of Sirius' parents' house, which he’d been to a couple of times during summer holidays before Sirius decided it was best to keep his friends and family apart. But Andromeda and Ted's house was much smaller and more cheerful, with brightly painted walls, furniture crammed into every corner of the small space, and a mixture of magical and muggle items cluttering the surfaces. Unlike the house Sirius had grown up in, this one felt to James like a home.

Ted went into the kitchen to make them some lunch and James and Sirius stood around uncertainly, until Andromeda told them to sit. When Ted returned with sandwiches, he asked the two of them about the classes they were taking at Hogwarts and if they had any plans for after they finished their final year. It was pleasant enough conversation, but it felt like they were avoiding what they should really be talking about.

Finally, Andromeda began telling them about how she knew Alphard.

"I only vaguely knew him when I was a child. He was already disowned then so I'd only met him once or twice, but when I left the family to marry Ted" - she took his hand - "Alphard approached me. I remember him telling me that I didn't have to be without a family and that he was there for me if I needed him. He said that I'd made the right choice." She wiped away a tear as it formed at the corner of her eye. "He came to our wedding," she continued, "I think he was in the photographs, I'll show you."

She got up to find a photo album. James felt like he was intruding on a family moment so he caught Ted's eye and asked, "Hey, do you reckon you could show me that Cleansweep you were telling me about, the one you had in school? It'd be interesting to see how the models have changed."

"Of course," Ted said, seeming just as eager to leave Sirius and Andromeda alone. "Come on, it's in the shed."

James patted Sirius on the back as he got up and Sirius nodded to him as Andromeda sat down beside him and opened up the photo album.

Looking at the photos, Sirius thought that Andromeda's resemblance to her sisters was less noticeable, largely due to the fact that she was so clearly happy. He'd been to Bellatrix's wedding, and the loving grin that passed between Andromeda and Ted in these photos was nothing like any expression he'd ever seen on either of her sisters. Alphard was there, as she'd mentioned; Ted was surrounded by relatives, but Andromeda only had him. He was smiling towards them and raising his glass of Champaign in congratulations. Sirius couldn't help but smile at the photo.

They looked through a few more, some left over from when Andromeda had been young and still considered herself part of the family, and others from after she had left with Ted: the two of them on holiday in a wizarding village in Greece, pictures from their honeymoon and pages of a little girl with ever-changing hair. Just as Sirius was looking at a particular picture of Nymphadora holding a toy broom, there was a knock at the front door, quickly followed by someone pushing it open and calling out a friendly, "hello?"

"Ah," Andromeda said, closing the photo album and smiling at Sirius, "that'll be Ted's parents bringing Dora back now, I'll just go and thank them."

She got up and disappeared into the hallway, where Sirius could hear her greet her in-laws. He fiddled absently with the wand in the pocket of his robe, wondering how long it would be polite to stay for. He looked up when he heard footsteps, but instead of Andromeda, a little girl stood in the doorframe, looking at him curiously. "Hello," she said nervously, taking a step into the room. "I'm Dora, who are you?"

"Er, Sirius," Sirius replied. "I'm your mum's cousin."

Dora seemed to accept this, as she stepped further into the room and tucked her – currently pale blue – hair behind her ears.

"I like your boots," she told him, pointing to the black biker books that Sirius was wearing. They were decorated with a number of silver studs and Sirius had worried about wearing them to the funeral, but he was comfy in them, and James had insisted that no one would be able to see them under his robes anyway.

"Oh, thanks." Sirius said, looking down at his own shoes. "I got them from a muggle shop in London."

"I got shoes from a muggle shop," Dora told him excitedly. "Well, Dad got them for me. But they're not normal shoes - they're roller skates! Do you want to see?"

"Ah, this is where you've gotten to," Andromeda said, re-entering the room and smiling fondly at her daughter. "I don't think Sirius wants to see your skates just now sweetheart, why don't you go and play with daddy in the other room?"

"Aww," Dora complained, "but I LIKE Sirius. Can he come over for Christmas?"

Sirius thought this was rather an odd request, considering they'd only met a few minutes ago. But there was something endearing about the little girl – he didn't for a second regret defending her to his family.

“I’m sure Sirius already has plans for Christmas,” Andromeda told her daughter, “but he’d be welcome if he wanted to come over for dinner.”

"I’m staying at Hogwarts," Sirius confirmed, "but I wouldn't mind seeing your skates."

"Yes!" Dora exclaimed, darting around her mother and out of the room. Her footsteps were loud as she rushed up the stairs to find them.

"She'll talk your ear off given half the chance," Andromeda warned. But Sirius just smiled.

Andromeda's family weren't entirely what he expected, but, he thought, they were certainly the sort of people he could get used to spending time with.


	34. Christmas In The Snow

It was a week into the Christmas holidays and Remus and Sirius had easily fallen into the routine of sleeping late, playing gobstones or chess in the mornings, eating a big lunch, messing around on brooms or walking around the grounds in the afternoons, eating an even bigger dinner, then both curling up on one of the comfy sofas in the common room. They'd talk or read a book together into the night, until one of them nodded off with his head on the other's shoulder. Something about being alone together felt different than it had before, which Remus didn't think was possible after knowing Sirius for over six years, but it felt right. It made him think about what had happened in the hospital wing a few weeks before – about Sirius wanting to stay with him. He'd been trying not to think too much on what it might all mean, but he had to admit that he was finding it difficult not to.

They were the only two seventh year Gryffindors staying at Hogwarts over the holidays; Sirius hadn't felt like going to the Potters' for a family Christmas so soon after his Uncle Alphard's death and Remus always stayed at Hogwarts over the break. James had fussed over both of them before he left, making sure Sirius wasn't brooding too much and asking Remus whether things were okay with his dad since his mum's death. He had asked a dozen times whether Sirius and Remus were completely sure they didn't want to stay at his for the holidays, but they were both settled on remaining at Hogwarts. Instead, Lily was spending a few days at the Potters' house, and she, James and Peter were sending them letters almost daily.

One evening when the common room was empty but for the two of them, they were by the fire sharing a blanket and reading one of James' letters, in which he worriedly asked what they'd both been doing and whether they were having fun or "moping about and missing me desperately".

"Not to sound like Prongs," Remus said, folding up James' letter after checking Sirius had finished reading it, "but are you okay? And don't say yes unless it's true."

"More or less," Sirius said with a shrug.

"I know we've not really talked about it," Remus continued, "but I'm sorry about your uncle. It's crap that he was actually decent to you, and you had to lose him."

"Yeah," Sirius said. He was quiet for a minute, not really wanting to talk about how much, despite not knowing him well, Alphard's death had gotten to him. Remus seemed to know anyway. "It's nothing like what you went through though," he said instead, leaning against him.

"That's not really how it works," Remus said. "My shit doesn't invalidate your shit."

"Well I appreciate your concern about my shit," Sirius smiled. "I guess I just didn't expect it, and then it happened. And I feel like I shouldn't care this much, you know? I barely knew the guy. He gave me a shit ton of money and I don't know what the hell to do with it. James and the Potters are my family and I love them. But it feels like being kicked out all over again, not having him. It's stupid, I know."

"It's not stupid," Remus said. "I get it. Even though I know my dad isn't that bad and your family are like, next level dickheads, it's still weird with him. When we had mum it was like me and dad got on with each other for her sake, especially when she got ill, but now it just feels as though there's not much point. It's like we've gone from a family to just... two people who have nothing in common." He paused. "I think he kind of blames me, you know. My mum was always worrying about me and sometimes she'd get so run down from taking care of me that she'd get ill. And now... I don't know."

"You know that's ridiculous, right?" Sirius asked, turning to Remus with an urgency in his voice. "She had cancer Moony, I don't know much about muggle medicine but you can't get cancer from being tired. It's not your fault."

He shrugged. "I know. And my dad knows that too, really. It's just... it's like he's searching for someone to blame."

"You can blame me if you like," Sirius joked, relaxing slightly when he saw the smile that crept onto Remus' face at the comment.

"Thank you for your oh so wise and helpful suggestion," Remus replied, but he was relieved that the mood was lightened. "Honestly, though - thanks."

"Yeah, you too." Sirius replied.

Remus went back to looking at the fire, flicking absently through _'Grimms Fairy tales,_ ' which he'd been recounting for Sirius earlier. Sirius watched his fingers skim the book, the way the firelight splashed across his face, and felt strangely glad that he'd chosen not to go home with James for Christmas.

"Read the one about the Huntsmen again?" Sirius requested, shuffling to the other end of the sofa and dropping his head into Remus' lap.

Remus shifted, letting out a huff of annoyance that Sirius knew was for show, since he obligingly picked up the book and was smiling as he started to read.

* * *

On Christmas Day, they received another letter, this one from Lily.

_Dear Remus and Sirius,_

_Happy Christmas! I hope you're having a great day! Is it snowing there? There's a ton here - James wants to go and build a snowman but I don't know if I can trust him not to turn it into a snowball fight. I feel like I've only just warmed up from the carolling last night!_

_I've attached a photo of the two of us from this morning. You may notice that the bottom half of my body has been replaced by a disastrous fashion statement. They were James' present to me. Honestly, I don't know how that boy gets through the day sometimes. Do I really look like the kind of person who would wear bright green flares? Still, he tried. I'm wearing them, of course, but just wanted to make it clear that I'm doing so under duress._

_It's nice having Christmas here for a change; James' parents are great - I can see why you're so fond of them, Padfoot. And of course, avoiding Petunia and Vernon is always a bonus. It's a little difficult this year, because dad's been getting rather confused lately. It's strange - he's not that old or anything, but he keeps forgetting things like where he put the car keys, even though he's put them in the same place for last ten years. Of course, he can't forget Christmas, the tree is a bit of a giveaway! Sorry to be a downer, I know you both have other things to worry about._

_Even so, have a great day, and don't fill up too much at the feast, Remus and I were fit to burst last year. At least Slughorn won't make the mistake of thinking the two of you are dating!_

_Anyway, James is trying to grab the quill from me - I'll see you in another week!_

**_Padfoot you're a TERRIBLE FRIEND and I'm NEVER LETTING YOU HELP ME BUY PRESENTS EVER AGAIN. "She'll love those flares so much Prongs, they're so in fashion!" You're the biggest liar and this is your fault entirely._ **

**_Anyway. Merry Christmas and all the rest. Hope you and Moony are having fun and getting up to Christmas hijinks. I got you your presents because of what you said about Andromeda's daughter after the funeral - that you're glad someone in your family is having a good childhood. If you'll forgive the cheesiness, both of you deserved better childhoods, so it's about time you got to act like children, right? Enjoy and try not to roll into the lake - but if you do, I want a photo of you being attacked by the giant squid._ **

**_James & Lily_ **

Remus finished reading the letter a moment before Sirius did and laughed at the last line. They opened the parcel from James, which as promised contained two pairs of roller skates. Sirius was eager to head outside and try them, but first there was the matter of exchanging gifts with Remus. They'd already eaten breakfast in the great hall - Remus had opted for bacon and eggs, while Sirius had piled his plate high with pancakes and the pastries that had been laid out. Remus had pulled a face at him, bewildered by his ability to consume such a sweet meal so early in the morning, but it had been one of the best breakfasts that Sirius had ever had.

Their presents were under the tiny tree that Sirius had erected in their dormitory, and Remus had been trying to guess what his was for the entire week. It was mysterious due mostly to its large size, but Sirius hadn't given any clues away. As well as the present from James, he'd received a basket of goodies from the Potters and even a small gift from Andromeda and her family. His present from Remus was small but neatly wrapped in bright red paper, which Sirius ripped off with abandon to reveal what was inside.

From out of the wrapping fell a pair of gloves. At first Sirius felt a surge of disappointment at the strange gift choice, but upon further inspection a huge grin broke out over his face. They were clearly good quality, expensive looking leather gloves, with metal studs that ran across the back of the hand.

"Do you like them?" Remus asked anxiously from beside him. "They're for the bike, obviously."

"They're great!" Sirius replied honestly - although he hadn’t had a chance to ride the bike since leaving it at the Potters in September, the gloves would make a nice addition to his growing collection of motorcycle gear.  

"Your turn then," he encouraged, nodding towards Remus' gift. "I know you've been dying to open it."

Remus pulled the box towards him, and Sirius felt suddenly nervous. He'd wanted to get Remus something good after the crappy year he'd had, had wanted to see the excitement on his face when he opened it – had wanted to make this Christmas feel special. He knew what it meant even as he thought it – that he didn't have the same inclination when buying presents for his other friends. And, if he was completely honest with himself, he now understood why.

Ever since the Snape incident, when he'd felt as though Remus ignoring him was the worst fate in the world, his feelings towards Remus had changed. It was small things at first – appreciating his company more, feeling bashful when he made stupid jokes. But at some point it had morphed into something else – into staring at Remus' lips when he spoke; hugs that lingered for a little too long and made Sirius' heart beat too fast; a feeling of contentment that he couldn't quite explain when they were alone together.

It was deeply unsettling, to feel that way about his friend. Especially when he had no idea whether Remus felt the same. It was hard to tell – sometimes he could swear they flirted – and Remus never complained when he lay beside him in the hospital wing for hours after the full moon. He thought of the nights they'd spent by the fire, or walking by the lake over the holidays, and hoped that Remus might realise, eventually, that the whole week had seemed terrifyingly romantic to Sirius.

Grinning, Remus ripped off the paper and then opened the large box. With Sirius' help, he lifted out a gramophone.

"Wow," he said, admiring it. "Really, wow. This is amazing, you shouldn't have-"

Sirius beamed. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it! But it must have cost a fortune, and all I got you was gloves..."

"Are you suggesting my gloves aren't cool, Moony? Because by extension you are insulting my bike, and you know how I feel about my bike. Seriously though, Alphard left me all that money and I don't know what to do with it. If I don't spend it on you, you know I'll spend it on stupid stuff like a flying unicycle or a lifetime's supply of butterbeer."

Remus grinned, which of course made Sirius feel even more pleased with himself. "You're not wrong. As much as I want to try out the gramophone, shall we try the roller skates first? It doesn't stay light for long at this time of year and if we go out in the dark we really might fall into the lake!”

"Sounds like a plan," Sirius agreed, already reaching for the roller skates. James had bought him a red pair, while Remus' were a dark green. "I feel like this may be difficult in the snow, but we are Gryffindors and we will conquer the elements."

* * *

They trekked down to the front doors, not seeing a single person on their way. Thankfully, a small area directly outside the doors had already been cleared of snow, so they perched on the nearest bench and changed their shoes in favour of the skates.

"Have you ever actually done this before?" Remus asked, testing the skates on the ground while he was still safely sat down. There was only one thin line of wheels down the centre of each skate, and they didn't seem very stable.

"Nope," Sirius said jovially. He got to his feet without hesitation, but immediately fell back down, almost overbalancing and toppling backwards off the bench. "Hmm," he mused. "I thought it would be easy."

"If an eight-year-old can master the skill then I'm sure we can too," Remus said. He stood up much more carefully than Sirius, managing to get to his feet without falling - that is until Sirius gave him a friendly shove and Remus wobbled forwards a few metres before crashing to the ground. Snow soaked through the knees of his trousers.

"You're a menace," Remus said as he struggled back up, but he was laughing. Sirius was stood precariously by him, arms out wide to try and keep his balance. "Give me your hands," he said, as Remus stood.

Remus cautiously skated back over to him. "You're not about to push me over again, are you?"

"Not intentionally," Sirius said, "although if I go down, you're going down with me."

"Oh really?" Remus said. He took Sirius' hands and then carefully moved further away from the bench. The snow was thankfully not too slippery, but it stuck between the wheels and make it even harder to move. They managed to very slowly inch their way forward, holding hands for balance and wobbling as they tried to build up speed.

Letting go of one of Remus' hands, Sirius dug his wand out of his pocket and pointed it at the ground. "Incendio" he muttered. Just as he'd hoped, the spell cleared a path for him and Remus - the one thing he hadn't accounted for however, was the fact that the roller skates made them move much faster on smooth ground.

"Shit," Sirius said as he skidded forwards, still dragging Remus behind him.

"Stop!" Remus shouted, "Merlin, Sirius -”

All at once, Sirius stopped the spell. He and Remus continued to roll forwards at their accelerated pace, but once the path was no longer clear, the snow quickly became caught in their skates, causing them to tumble forward and fall flat on their faces.

The speed left them rolling over one another in the snow a half dozen times before finally coming to a stop.

"Well," Sirius laughed, from where he had somehow ended up on top of Remus. "Do you think we mastered it?"

"Oh yes," Remus said solemnly, "we're totally pros."

He had instinctively grabbed Sirius to stop them from rolling any further, but his hands lingered on his hips.

Sirius stopped laughing. Despite lying in a pile of snow, he felt a sudden heat spread through him when Remus shifted beneath him. He shook himself, looking down at Remus, who was red in the face and breathing heavily, though still grinning. His eyes were full of laughter and fixed on Sirius, who realised slightly late that they hadn't said anything to each other in quite some time. Then he saw Remus' gaze flick down to his mouth - he couldn't have imagined it - and before he could think any more about what he was doing, he leant down and kissed Remus softly on the lips.

It only lasted for a few seconds, but it was like an explosion erupted inside Sirius. Something that hadn't been there before clicked into place, and when he pulled away all Sirius could think about was that they’d been dancing around this for far too long, quickly followed by a wave of panic that Remus hadn’t wanted it to happen at all. He pushed himself up on his arms, giving Remus room to move if he wanted to.

Remus, for one, was panicking. As amazing as the kiss had been - and in the moment it had felt like he'd been waiting for it for years - the moment afterwards was tainted with them looking at each other and seeing two versions of themselves. Remus saw the Sirius he'd always known, been friends with, shared a room with for over six years; and at the same time he saw the boy who had just kissed him in the snow. He didn't know how to reconcile the two, and he didn't know what he was supposed to say or do now, and he didn't know what this meant.

Stuttering, he said, "er, right then, well it's - uhm - it's getting cold so we should probably, you know..."

Sirius sat back as Remus scrambled to his feet - but he forgot that he was still wearing roller skates, and he immediately fell back down onto his face, cracking his nose hard against the ground.

"Shit," he muttered, his nose turning bright red from pain and his cheeks turning red from embarrassment.

Startled by Remus' abrupt reaction, and prompt reappearance on the ground, Sirius crawled across the snow to where Remus had fallen. He reached out, but withdrew his hand at the last minute. Remus was cradling his face in his hands, and there was a patch of stark red blood splattered across the white snow.

"Are you okay?" He asked, not knowing how the moment had shattered so quickly. "Do you need to go to Madame Pomfrey?"

"Probably," Remus groaned. He moved his hands away from his face for a minute, and it was clear from the already forming bruise that his nose was most likely broken. "Bloody skates," he said, yanking them off his feet before he clambered back up.

Sirius did the same, though the ice cold snow quickly soaked through his socks, making him shiver.

They walked back up to the castle in an awkward silence, though Sirius' thoughts were whirling. Hadn't Remus wanted him to kiss him? This is what he'd been afraid of – that he'd imaged any signs, and Remus was freaked out by the whole thing - he had tried his best to run away.

They tugged their real shoes back on, and Sirius offered to carry both his own and Remus' skates while they walked up to the hospital. He almost said something on numerous occasions, but he couldn’t seem to find the right words.

Thankfully, they soon reached the hospital wing, and Sirius was spared their silence by Madame Pomfrey rushing over and fussing over Remus.

"What on earth happened?" She asked, taking in their wet cloths and shaking her head. “I thought I’d at least get some peace and quiet on Christmas day!”

Sirius held up the two pairs of skates in response. “Sorry,” he said, when Madame Pomfrey looked less than impressed.

"Well, I can take care of this easily enough. Mr Black, you'd best go back to your common room and warm up."

Remus and Sirius exchanged an awkward glance. Sirius though it might come across as rather rude to kiss someone and then leave them alone in the hospital. However, Remus' small nod indicated that he agreed with Madame Pomfrey, so it looked like he didn't have much choice.

"I'll, er, see you later then," he said to Remus, who attempted a smile. He slowly left as Madam Pomfrey guided Remus over to an empty bed.

As he walked back to Gryffindor Tower, he felt distinctly cold, and it wasn't just because of the snow.


	35. Operation: Romance

On Boxing Day morning, Sirius received a letter from James. He perched on the edge of his bed to read it alone, since Remus already appeared to have vacated the dorm. It was a very short letter, that simply said:

_Dear Sirius,_

_Guess what me and Lily did last night._  
_(SEX).  
I’ll write properly soon but there’s no time right now – we’re going to some muggle nativity thing with Lily’s parents.  _

_Hope you had a good Christmas! I know I did!  
James_

A bark of laughter escaped Sirius as he read the letter. Of course it was just like James to write and tell him. Although there (thankfully) weren't any details, Sirius suspected it had gone significantly better than his own first time, which had been painfully awkward. It was quite fitting, Sirius though, that Mary had ended up being interested in girls, and now here he was, worrying over whether Remus was going to talk to him for the rest of the holidays.

He considered writing back, but all he could think to put was something along the lines of _'guess what me and Remus did last night (went roller skating in the snow but fell over then kissed then Remus broke his nose and now he's avoiding me which is by the way entirely your fault for giving us the skates in the first place)’._ However, he wasn't entirely sure how James would react to his Remus-drama, so in the end he decided against it.

* * *

To avoid Gryffindor Tower, Remus had headed to the library – his usual haven. The library was all but empty since it was only Boxing Day and the only people doing work were a handful of sixth and seventh years. At first Remus tried to do some reading, but he struggled to concentrate as his mind kept returning to Sirius. After spending half an hour reading and re-reading the same page and taking none of it in, he gave up.

Instead, just for something to do so he wouldn't have to return to the common room, he began to tidy bookshelves that were perfectly neat and organised already; Madam Pince was nothing if not thorough and her favourite activities were cataloguing the books, alphabetising, and dusting the shelves. Nevertheless, Remus pulled out handfuls of books at a time and carefully replaced them, his arms eventually growing tired and achy.

He carried on until he became too self-conscious of Madam Pince following him around the library, watching him suspiciously. He could still feel her watchful gaze on the back of his neck as he left.

* * *

They managed to avoid each other for most of the day, but the next morning Sirius ventured down to breakfast to find that Remus was already there. He didn't want to be a complete idiot and ignore him - he was pretty sure they were still friends after all - so he took the seat across from him and muttered an amicable "morning."

"Morning," Remus replied, a slice of toast half in his mouth.

Again, silence stretched between them as Sirius poured himself a bowl of cereal. He quickly ate a spoonful to avoid the pressure of having to make conversation.

"Still snowy out," he said eventually. He only realised when Remus looked up at him with a growing flush to his cheeks that the weather may not have been the best topic of conversation, since they'd barely spoken since the last time they were out in the snow together.

"Very cold," Remus agreed, before returning to his breakfast.

He disappeared soon after, leaving Sirius alone. Despite the food surrounding him, he suddenly didn't feel very hungry. Leaving the cereal largely untouched, he took to wondering about the castle.

After a while, he found himself at the kitchens, and let himself in by tickling the pear on the portrait over the entrance. The house elves were busy clearing up from breakfast, but they still rushed over to him when he entered, offering him food and drink. He accepted a glass of pumpkin juice and stole a scone from a nearby plate.

Soon enough, he found himself telling one of the house elves - Dotty - all about what had happened in the last few days. She seemed rather stunned, looking back and forth between Sirius and the plate of scones. Eventually, when Sirius had finished his tale, Dotty blurted out "Sir has eaten 10 scones!"

She looked positively distraught as she added, "scones that were made for the headmaster!"

"Oh," Sirius said, putting down the scone that was already half way to his mouth. There were only two others left on the plate. "Sorry about that."

* * *

The same morning, Remus shrugged on his winter coat and plodded down to Hagrid's hut, his boots crunching on the still-snowy ground. Hagrid was delighted to see him, ushering him in and gesturing for him to take a seat by the fire.

"I'll put the kettle on," he said, filling a massive pot with water. "D'ye fancy some Christmas cake?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," Remus said, having now had too much experience of Hagrid's cooking to be enthusiastic about it. Sure enough, it was almost rock hard and tasted of nothing but brandy. "Delicious," he said with cake still stuck to his teeth.

"Now what can I do for ye?" Hagrid asked. "It's not like you to be on yer own. Where are those friends of yers?"

"James, Peter and Lily have gone home for Christmas," Remus said. Then he looked down at the giant mug in his hands. "I'm not sure where Sirius is. Neither of us have really been in the common room much."

"Ah, have a fight, did ye?" Hagrid asked with a gentle smile.

"Not exactly." Remus wasn't sure exactly what they'd had, or whether they were still talking, but if he didn't see Sirius then they didn't have to talk about it. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted me to walk your dog?"

"That'd be grand, if ye want to," Hagrid said. "You'd better keep 'im on a lead though. He won't go chasing after anythin' but he will run away if anythin' startles 'im."

"Okay." Remus put down the barely-touched cake and took the lead Hagrid handed him. "I'll see you in a bit then."

* * *

After pacing the corridors aimlessly for the better part of an hour, Sirius found himself outside Professor McGonagall's door. She answered his knock still laughing and holding a goblet of wine - Sirius could distinctly hear the sound of voices behind her.

"Oh, Mr. Black," she said, clearly surprised to see him. "What brings you by?"

"Er," Sirius said, feeling suddenly quite stupid. He wasn't entirely sure what had possessed him to knock on her door. "I was wondering if you wanted help with anything," he said lamely. "Organising papers or, you know... planning lessons for next term?"

"It's only two days after Christmas," Professor McGonagall told him, baffled. She stuck her head out of the door and looked down the corridor as if expecting something to happen. "I have no doubt that you're up to something," she said then, "but I suggest you go and enjoy the rest of the day with your friends."

* * *

With very few people in the Gryffindor common room and even fewer in the library, Remus had no one to talk to. He made his way up to the owlery, planning on sending a long letter to Lily, but once he was sitting there with his quill and parchment in hand, he thought better of it. He didn't want to involve anyone else in this - not when he didn't even know what this was.

Sir Lancelot, his owl, came and perched on his arm and hooted sadly, as though he had caught Remus' mood like an infection.

"Hello," Remus said glumly. "Is your Christmas going as badly as mine? Struggling to find mice to eat, are you? You steal enough of my bacon at breakfast that I'm sure you're fine." Sir Lancelot hooted again. Remus decided to interpret this as his owl wanting to know what was bothering him. "Well, my best friend of the past six and a half years can't find anything to talk to me about except the weather, and I'm just as bad. And I don't even feel like I can talk to anyone about it. Although I guess I can tell you, since you are in fact an owl with no concept of the English language. It was Christmas Day, you see, and Sirius and I were out roller skating in the snow and it was all well and good until we ended up on the floor with him on top of me and then suddenly we were kissing and it was all very confusing and I don't know what I'm supposed to think or - or feel about this - about him. Oh, plus I broke my nose."

Sir Lancelot evidently thought he'd done enough comforting for one day, or perhaps he'd figured out that Remus hadn't brought him anything to eat; either way, he took flight out of the glassless window. Remus sighed. Clearly no one wanted to listen to him.

What he didn't know was that two people were listening. Chloe and Benjy had planned on sending a letter to Marlene, who had been on the Quidditch team with them and whom they hadn't seen in months, but when they heard Remus talking they hesitated in the doorway. They had heard everything they needed to, and they exchanged looks first of confusion and then excitement as they began to form a plan.

* * *

Remus was going for what he'd told himself would be a pleasant walk in the snow, but the snow had begun to melt as the weather warmed up a few degrees, so he kept slipping in the slush. The cold water had seeped through his shoes and socks to freeze his feet. He was thinking of turning back when he saw Benjy running across the grounds towards him, waving and shouting Remus' name.

"Benjy?" Remus said. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing!" Benjy skidded - quite literally - to a halt in front of him and paused to catch his breath. "I just saw Flitwick - he wants to speak to you in his classroom about something - some homework you handed in I think?"

"Right now?" Remus asked, confused. "Why doesn't he just tell me when classes start?"

Benjy shrugged. "No idea, but he's waiting there now so you'd better go."

Sadly abandoning all thoughts of the roaring common room fire and dry feet, Remus nodded and began walking back up to the castle with Benjy in tow.

* * *

Sirius was in the common room eating his way through a box of fudge when Chloe collapsed onto the sofa beside him.

"Hey buddy," she smiled, "guess where I just came from."

"Enlighten me," Sirius replied. He wasn't exactly feeling up to a more a witty answer.

"Flitwick's classroom," she said seriously. "I think he had some sort of party in there, but now there's just an abandoned buffet with a ton of food left over."

Sirius perked up slightly at the mention of the buffet. He hadn't exactly been eating his feelings over the last few days, but he'd been eating most other things.

"Really?" he asked. "What's he doing throwing a party in a classroom?"

"Damned if I know," Chloe shrugged, getting to her feet. "But there are sausage rolls and pizza and cakes as big as your head! Are you coming or not?"

Sirius had never been one to forgo free food, even if it was suspiciously abandoned in an empty classroom. He rolled quickly off the sofa and followed Chloe out of the common room.

* * *

When Remus and Benjy arrived at Flitwick's classroom, there was nobody there. Remus frowned. "Are you sure he said to meet in his classroom not his office?"

"Completely sure," Benjy said. "He must have just gone to the loo or something. I'm sure he'll be here soon."

"Well, I'm going to check his office just in case."

"No!" Benjy stepped in front of him. "I mean, he'll be here any second, you wouldn't want to miss him."

"Benjy, what's going on?"

But that question was answered a moment later when Sirius and Chloe walked through the door.

Sirius and Remus just stared at each other at first, allowing Benjy and Chloe time to hurry out of the classroom, shutting and locking the door behind them.

"Hey!" Sirius shouted at the two of them through the glass panel in the door. "What are you doing? I was promised a buffet not a - whatever this is!"

"You just need to talk to each other," Chloe said, "and we thought we'd give you a chance to do that."

"This is ridiculous," Remus said. "We're fine. Let us out, come on."

"No can do," Benjy said. "We know exactly what's going on and we're not opening this door until you two talk about it."

"There's no need to be embarrassed," Chloe piped up. She was standing on her tiptoes in order to see through the door. "Benjy likes guys too!"

"Hey!" Benjy said. He elbowed her in the ribs and the two of them disappeared from sight.

Remus reached into his pocket for his wand, but he already knew it wasn't there; he had left it on his bedside table, not thinking he would need it for a stroll around the grounds. He wasn't exactly expecting to be ambushed and locked in a classroom.

"I don't suppose you remembered your wand?" Remus asked.

Sirius turned out his pockets and, finding himself wandless, he grabbed the door handle and rattled it, yelling at Benjy and Chloe to open up.

"You're the ones who should open up!" Chloe shouted back.

"Urgh," Sirius moaned. He turned away from the door and sat down on the edge of the nearest desk, folding his arms across his chest.

Remus was still trying to peer out of the window in the door, to little avail.

"They're not going to let us out," Sirius said. He knew from being on the Quidditch team with Chloe and Benjy that they were extremely determined, and probably just as stubborn as the majority of Gryffindors were.

"Well. I guess maybe we should talk then. Either that or tunnel out of here."

"Did you bring a shovel?" Sirius asked.

For the first time since Christmas Day, Remus laughed. The reaction brought a smile to Sirius' face and he stood up just as Remus slumped onto the desk across from him.

He paced for a few minutes before turning to Remus - who was actually looking him in the eye again - and said, "I kissed you."

"Yes," Remus agreed.

"I didn't know I was going to, but it happened, and it made sense to me. But you tried to run away and then the avoiding and everything is awkward and - well. I guess what I'm getting at is do you fancy me or what?"

Remus was immediately flustered. "That's - I mean - you can't just ask if I - "

"It's fine if you don't," Sirius said quickly. "Obviously we'll still be friends, of course we will, we have been for years so-"

"I _do_ ," Remus said, interrupting him. Sirius stopped talking abruptly. "I've been thinking about it ever since you kissed me," Remus continued, "and I do. Fancy you, I mean."

"Oh," Sirius replied. He'd half convinced himself that Remus was going to completely hate him forever, but that was apparently not the case at all. He didn't know exactly what to say next, but knew he couldn't shake the grin that had spread across his face.

"This is the part where you talk," Remus instructed.

"Right," Sirius said, "well, good. We should - I mean, do you want to. Do this?"

"This?"

"Yeah," Sirius said self-consciously. The situation seemed ridiculous - after they'd spent the last three days avoiding each other - now he just felt giddy and wanted to laugh. Instead, he took a step closer to Remus and said, "do you want to, you know, go out with me then?"

"Oh." Remus' face cleared. "I – yeah. We can do that."

They looked at each other as though expecting the other person to know how to proceed.

"How exactly should we...?" Sirius asked.

"I guess like this," Remus said, holding out his hand. Sirius knitted their fingers together and they smiled bashfully at each other.

It felt strange that they'd been comfortable with each other for years, had slapped each other on the back and sat next to each other with their shoulders brushing and even fallen asleep on top of each other - and yet this felt totally different. It was a good kind of different, though, exciting in its freshness.

"You can let us out now!" Sirius called to Benjy and Chloe. Their faces appeared at the door and Sirius and Remus held up their linked hands as proof. They heard Chloe say "yay!"

Benjy obligingly opened the door, grinning. As they stepped through it, he pointedly exclaimed, "Oh look, you're both finally out!"


	36. Careers Fair

"Good morning seventh years, welcome to the Careers Fair."

McGonagall looked around at the swarm of students gathered in the Great Hall, most of whom were looking back at her with little enthusiasm and a fair amount of panic.

"I hope you've all had a good first week back and are getting back into the swing of things after the Christmas holidays. I know that most of you are still unclear about your career choice, so today is an excellent opportunity to talk to people in different careers and see which would be most suitable for you. You can ask your professors what careers their subjects are useful for - or speak to me if you're interested in teaching. It might also be helpful for you to do some networking and meet people who could aid you with getting into the field. Try to make the most of today, as it could very well influence your future."

They all simply stood there apprehensively for a moment before McGonagall added, "Honestly, even the suits of armour are more animated than you appear to be. Your careers aren't going to choose themselves, so you'd best get on with it."

The group of students began to split apart. Without bothering to look around the Great Hall at the career options available, James walked straight towards the row of tables set out for the Ministry of Magic, pinpointing the one labelled 'Department of Magical Law Enforcement'. He was the first one there and began straight off the bat with, "I'm James Potter. I want to be an Auror."

"Do you now?" The witch in front of him was perhaps in her late forties or early fifties, dressed in practical muggle clothes rather than robes and wearing her hair in a neat bun. "You seem very certain about that for such a young man. Being an Auror requires extensive testing and training, plus it's a dangerous profession."

"I know, I've done all the research about it. I was worried I couldn't do it without a NEWT in potions but I read that herbology would be accepted instead. I know it'll be hard to complete the training but it'll be worth it."

"Nevertheless, I recommend you look at other options before you make up your mind for sure."

"I've already made up my mind," James said firmly. "I did consider professional Quidditch because I'm the Gryffindor team captain" - if he expected her to look impressed, he was disappointed - "but as much as I love it, it's not - not enough, you know?" She simply raised her eyebrows, giving no indication whether or not she did indeed know. James ploughed ahead. "With everything going on at the moment it just seems like it'd be wrong to bury my head in sport when I could be doing something important. Defending people."

He said this very quickly, sure of himself but also nervous under such a stern gaze.

"I see," she said. "So you want to be a hero, do you Mr Potter?"

"No." He frowned. "I mean, that's not what this is about. I want to help people. I want to do what's right." He thought of Mary getting attacked the previous year, of Lily hexing a girl who called her a mudblood and crying afterwards, of Remus barely even getting accepted into Hogwarts because of his condition let alone getting a job. "I don't want to sit around doing nothing when people I care about - good, innocent people - are in danger."

For the first time, the woman smiled. "Well then, Mr Potter, perhaps this is the job for you after all."

* * *

Sirius had never quite seen the appeal of the aurors as much as James did. Sure, they got a bit of glory when they managed to catch some bad guys, but Sirius imagined the bad-guy-catching was actually quite rare, and a lot of aurors spent their time chasing around petty thieves or doing paperwork.

Sirius headed instead to a table a few feet away from where James was. Sitting behind the table was a goblin with a long, gnarled nose and a pointed chin. There were a few other people around the desk, looking at pamphlets and asking questions now and then. Above the table was a banner that read _'Are you seeking a challenging career involving travel, adventure, and substantial, danger-related treasure bonuses? Then consider a position with Gringotts Wizarding Bank.'_

"Danger-related treasure bonuses?" Sirius asked the goblin, who according to the plaque on the desk was called Grobbik. "I've always thought of myself as danger-related," Sirius told him. "But what kind of bonuses are these exactly?"

"Curse breaking is a very serious profession," the goblin told him, looking annoyed. "If you manage to survive the disabling of the curses and jinxes you encounter, you may be rewarded."

"Wow, that's informative," Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. "Do we get to keep some of the treasure, or what?"

"Curse breakers are paid a substantial salary," Grobbik told him, which again failed to answer Sirius' question.

"Huh, well okay you were really helpful," he said, turning away from the table, though not before he shoved one of the pamphlets into his pocket.

Looking around the rest of the great hall, he spotted Lily on the other side of the room, engrossed in a conversation with Madame Pomfrey. There was also a healer from St. Mungo's close by, who was talking to a small group about healer training.

Not seeing many better alternatives, Sirius crossed the room and stood beside Lily, listening in on their conversation.

"I could write you a letter of recommendation," Madame Pomfrey was telling her with a smile. "You've been a great help this year."

"Got a job lined up already, Evans?" he interrupted. "At least you can support James while he stays at home with the mini-Potters."

"Learning to be a healer takes at least 3 years," Lily told him, ignoring the comment about James. "Even longer if you want to specialise. What are you doing here anyway?" she asked, "I didn't think you were interested in healing."

"I could be," Sirius shrugged. "I've been thinking, you know, with us leaving soon, that maybe I should learn more about healing spells."

"Because of Remus?" Madame Pomfrey asked, perceptive as ever.

Sirius looked around instinctively, making sure that no one could overhear them, before he nodded and replied, "maybe. I thought you might be able to give me some books or something."

"I can," Madame Pomfrey replied, "but some of the magic is quite advanced."

"I'm a quick learner."

"You don't have to do that, you know," Lily said gently. She was looking at him almost sadly, as if she knew something he didn't. "I know you care a lot about Remus but you don't have to put all of that responsibility on yourself."

Sirius felt suddenly uncomfortable under her gaze. He doubted she knew exactly how he cared for Remus at all. They'd been dating for two entire weeks now, without telling anyone, and while it had been great it had also been a bit of a rocky start, with Sirius being unsure how exactly to make the transition from friends to something more.

"I know I don't have to," he said defensively, "but I want to."

* * *

While their friends walked purposefully to different tables around the Great Hall, Peter and Remus stood aimlessly in the middle, gazing around as if hoping a plausible career would pop out at them. James had darted off straight away, Lily was already sure about healing so was chatting to Madam Pomfrey, Sirius was arguing with a goblin, Alice had tried talking to Ollivander about wand making and was now having a lively conversation with a Daily Prophet reporter, and Mary had wandered over to a member of the Holyhead Harpies Quidditch team. But neither Peter nor Remus knew what they should do with their lives.

"We could talk to McGonagall about teaching?" Peter suggested without much enthusiasm.

"Sure," Remus agreed, though the idea didn’t fill him with hope. Dumbledore may have let him come to Hogwarts as a student, but that didn't mean he'd be allowed to teach there.

"I wasn't expecting to speak to you today, Mr Pettigrew," Professor McGonagall said, "seeing as you didn't take a NEWT in transfiguration."

"We were actually wondering about teaching," Remus said.

McGonagall pursed her lips. "I know you've been making great progress in tutoring the fifth years for their OWLs," she said, "but in all honesty Mr. Lupin, I'm not sure that's a possibility for you at the moment." There was sadness in her voice as she said it.

Remus shrugged. "I know. I just don't know what _is_ a possibility."

"Perhaps we can speak about it at greater length in my office later. And as for you, Mr Pettigrew, are you sure you're not just trying to avoid going out into the big wide world?"

Peter looked slightly alarmed at this idea but agreed that it might be the case.

"It might be more productive for you to speak to someone from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, since you seem to excel at Care of Magical Creatures," McGonagall suggested.

Peter nodded and Remus trailed after him to the row of Ministry tables. The man standing there asked both of them about their NEWTS and listed the different areas that his department dealt with. The final one he listed was the Division for Magical Pest Control. Peter shot a smile at Remus and tried to make him laugh by saying, "Well, I do know a lot about rats."

Remus smiled weakly as the man suggested he might be interested in the Department of International Magical Cooperation, but Remus said he didn't think that was a good idea. From what he'd heard, the Ministry did thorough background checks on all its employees, and there was no way they'd hire a werewolf.

He left Peter where he was and went to what felt like his last option: a table assigned to muggle careers. Mary was now talking to the muggle studies professor, and Remus hung around nearby to listen.

"There's a wide variety of jobs available in the muggle world as I'm sure you're aware. It's not conventional for wizards and witches to seek out muggle employment, but it does happen now and again and can be just as rewarding as a magical career."

The professor then moved on to talking about how the hours were usually 9-5 and Remus began to wonder how he'd explain monthly absences to muggle co-workers. Feeling distinctly hopeless, he turned on his heel before he even spoke to the professor directly, and went back the way he'd come, leaving the cheerful buzz of the Great Hall behind.

* * *

Sirius was on his way back over to James, who was still hovering around the ministry tables, when he saw Remus slip out of the door. He noticed McGonagall nearby, also watching him with a frown on her face. They weren't supposed to leave until the hour was up, but her expression wasn't the sort of frown that meant she was angry, rather the kind that she'd been wearing when she came to collect him from class to tell him his uncle had died.

Instead of going to James, Sirius changed his trajectory and followed Remus away from the great hall. He caught up with him in a hidden passage on the second floor, and Sirius almost bumped straight into him, not expecting him to be leaning against the wall directly inside the entrance of the passage.

"Ah, hello." He said, cramming himself into the small space beside Remus. He looked upset, and Sirius patted him on the arm in a gesture that was supposed to be comforting - not an easy task in the cramped passage. "All a bit much?" he asked.

"All a bit pointless, more like. We all know I can't just apply for any old job. No one will take me."

"You know," Sirius said, "I seem to recall you saying that you never thought you'd even be able to come to school. You never thought you'd have friends either. Just because it seems unlikely doesn't mean it won't happen."

Remus managed a small smile. "Maybe. Thanks, Padfoot."

He looked expectantly towards Sirius, who just nodded. For a moment, they stood in silence, and Sirius was wondering whether they should go back to the Careers Fair or head towards Gryffindor tower when Remus said, "I'm not being funny, but do you want to kiss me or not?"

"Errr -" Sirius was rather taken aback by the question. He supposed that would be the sensible thing to do; he was dating Remus, and Remus was upset, and he's seen Lily and James kiss when one of them was upset loads of times – too many times come to think of it

"I feel crap," Remus continued, "and I think kissing would be a pretty good distraction, but my boyfriend has only kissed me twice in two whole weeks and I think it's a bit rude, really. Unless you’re regretting -"

"Moony, I don't know how to do this," Sirius interrupted, embarrassed. "Of course I want to kiss you and I thought there would be more kissing to be honest, but I don't know when you want me to kiss you and I can't just kiss you out of the blue because then you might be all _'Sirius why are you kissing me when I'm trying to eat my mashed potato'_ even though it's very cute when you accidentally get it on your nose so - "

"Sirius," Remus smiled, "come here." He leant forward and pressed his lips to Sirius' and he felt Sirius smile, then the smile turned into a laugh. "What?" Remus asked.

"Nothing!" Sirius insisted, "nothing, honest!" He kissed Remus again, but after a few seconds, the laughter bubbled back up. "Merlin, sorry," he said, inches away from Remus' face. "It's just, I'm kissing Remus Lupin in a secret passage while we should be doing educational things. And I know you - I saw you trip over the bench at dinner in second year and land in the cheesecake, and now I'm kissing you. It's pretty funny."

Remus looked at him in bemusement for a moment before shaking his head. "I guess you're right. Up until very recently, if anyone had told us we'd be kissing in secret passages not so far in the future, I'd have thought they were mad."

"I'm glad we are though," Sirius said. He kissed him again, this time making it thirty seconds until he started giggling because Remus put his tongue in his mouth.

"Sirius!"

"Sorry," Sirius said, grinning. "I'll get used to this soon, I swear."

"It's okay," Remus said. "It's new for both of us."


	37. Beginnings

Sirius and Remus had checked the map extensively as they walked to the prefects' bathroom. They were desperate for some alone time after James and Peter had been constantly walking into the dorm at inopportune moments – of course, still none the wiser about what they were actually walking in on. Remus had suggested that since the prefects' bathroom was actually rarely used, they could make sure they would be alone by monitoring the map. Sirius had readily agreed.

They slipped through the door easily enough, not encountering anyone on their way other than a handful of Ravenclaw girls who were too busy chatting amongst themselves to pay much attention to how close they were walking, or the fact that Sirius kept brushing his hand against Remus'.

Sirius had never been inside the prefects' bathroom before, and was suitably impressed by its size and fancy features. He put the map down beside a nearby sink and asked, "why do you need a bath so big? Do all the prefects have communal bathing sessions?"

"We're finally alone and you want to put images like that in my head?" Remus asked. He was stood closer than Sirius had noticed, so that when he turned, he found himself pushed against the sink, Remus' body pressed against his.

"Good point," he said breathlessly, and crashed their lips together.

* * *

Sometime later, a significantly more dishevelled looking Sirius stepped out of the prefects' bathroom, completely forgetting that there were in fact other people in the world.

Unfortunately for Sirius, one of the people who happened to be passing by at that exact moment was James.

"HELLO JAMES," he said loudly, making his friend jump. Perhaps he should have just retreated quietly to the bathroom where James wouldn't have noticed him, but he'd panicked, and subsequently drawn the attention of the majority of the corridor. "REMUS." Sirius continued, apparently unable to keep from shouting, "REMUS TOLD ME THE PASSWORD TO THE BATHROOM." He half closed the door behind him so that the actual Remus was shielded from sight.

"Err, okay." James said, "any particular reason you wanted to use the prefects’ bathroom?"

"Yes." James looked at him expectantly, and Sirius found himself stammering, "It, er, makes my hair more... luxurious. The showers in the dorms just aren't up to scratch."

"Okay," James said again. He was looking at Sirius curiously, possibly because his hair was in fact a complete mess from having Remus' hands tangled in it, and had clearly not just been washed. Realising this, Sirius immediately tried to flatten it and added, "oh, I wasn't washing it now. No, just - I thought I'd left one of my socks in here - apparently not." He laughed nervously.

Despite still looking at him as if he wasn't quite all there, James shrugged easily enough and said, "maybe the house elves lost it."

"Yeah, must have."

He was still only half way out of the door, but the sharp pain of Remus kicking the back of his leg urged him out fully, though he made sure to only open the door as far as necessary and shut it behind him. Then he threw an arm around James' shoulders.

"Anyway," he said, "heading down to dinner are you? I'll come with."

"Yep, I don't know where Remus or Pete have gotten to, the dorm's been empty all afternoon."

"Beats me," Sirius said, rather too quickly.

He turned around just in time to see Remus sneaking out of the bathroom and heading in the opposite direction. There were still other students around, some who were looking between the two of them with raised eyebrows and leaning close to their friends to talk in hushed voices.

Sirius felt a little worked up, but he tried to put it out of his mind as he and James made their way down to the great hall.

* * *

It had only been a week since the last Quidditch match, but beating Slytherin by a decent margin meant that they would win the Quidditch cup if they defeated Hufflepuff, so the team were still practicing three times a week despite their hectic schedules. Thankfully the weather was starting to improve as winter gave way to spring, so it had been a more enjoyable practice session than most of their recent ones.

James was tired but exhilarated as they returned to the ground and dismounted from their brooms.

"Well done, everyone," he called. "If we carry on like this then the match against Hufflepuff is in the bag."

There were cheers from Mary and two other teammates as they went ahead to the changing rooms.

"I'll stick everything back in the broom shed," Sirius offered, securely fastening the bludgers into their box and hoisting it under his arm. "See you back at the common room?"

"Yeah, cheers," James said.

Chloe and Benjy were lingering nearby and once Sirius was out of earshot, Chloe turned to James with a grin and said, "I bet you a galleon he's meeting Remus in the broom shed for a snog."

James stopped walking abruptly. "What?" was all he could manage to say.

Chloe's grin faded and her eyes widened. "Oh," she said. "You didn't know? Shit. I thought everyone knew, loads of people have been talking about it - they've not exactly been _subtle_." James was still staring at her blankly so she hurriedly added, "Forget I said anything! That was totally just a joke, right Benjy?!"

Benjy nodded firmly, "Oh yeah, definitely, that was just a - an in joke from the Christmas holidays. Come on, Chloe, let's go."

With an apologetic smile, Chloe followed Benjy to the changing rooms, the two of them holding hands and whispering to each other. James stood alone on the pitch for a few minutes, trying to think through the static filling his brain. Sirius and Remus? Surely they couldn't be together - James would know. They would have told him - wouldn't they? Besides, they had both dated girls before, and Sirius had even slept with Mary, though a voice in James' head reminded him that Sirius had thought the sex was mediocre. But still... How could he not know something like that about his best friends?

By the time he went to get changed everyone else had already left, so he put his robes back on in silence. As he began to walk back to the castle, he went past the broom shed and considered checking inside it - but no, that was ridiculous. Instead, he went to the Gryffindor common room and sat down next to Lily, who was in the middle of her transfiguration homework.

"Hey," she said, "how was practice?"

"Fine." He meant to say more but the words wouldn't come.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, peering at him curiously.

"Yes. I think so. I don't know." He glanced around them; nobody was sitting too close and the common room was loud enough that he didn't think anyone would overhear them. "Have Remus and Sirius said anything to you about - about them - kissing?"

He spoke quickly enough that his words jumbled together and it took Lily a moment to reply. She looked almost annoyed, and for the briefest of moments he thought maybe she wouldn't be okay with Sirius and Remus being together.

"No, they haven't," she said, frowning and pushing away her homework. "It's been pretty obvious for a long time that they've liked each other" - this astounded James, who had noticed nothing of the sort - "and I've overheard people talking about seeing them together but they've not actually said anything to me and I'm not talking to them about it until they do."

"They've not spoken to me either," James said. "Are you sure this is really a thing? Chloe seemed certain but it's - how could I not know?"

Lily patted his hand sympathetically. "Boys are very unobservant," she said. "I think it's even taken Sirius and Remus a long time to realise there's something going on between them. I guess it's a hard thing to come to terms with."

"Yeah," James said. "It's so weird. I never would have guessed. It's like I don't even really know them."

"Yes you do," Lily said firmly. "It's Sirius and Remus, of course you know them."

James thought for a moment and then nodded, relief creeping into his expression. "You're right, of course you are. It's just that they've never hidden anything from me before - other than Remus' furry little problem, but even that we found out about years ago." He looked dismayed. "I don't like us having secrets. It feels like there's space between us that wasn't there before."

"I'm sure they're just worried about what people will think," Lily said reassuringly.

"But it's me. How can they believe I'd think anything bad about it?"

"I don't know. I do wish they'd stop faffing about and actually talk to us about it. I assume Peter doesn't know either."

"Probably not," James said as he considered it. "If they've told him and not me then I'll be offended."

Lily laughed. "Maybe we should talk to them, just to get everything out in the open.”

* * *

That evening marked the seventh year prefects' weekly tutoring session to help prepare the fifth years for their exams, and by the time James and Lily got there, Remus was already in another classroom, demonstrating spells needed for the defence against the dark arts OWL. Lily and James split the rest of the waiting fifth years between the remaining prefects, and once Lily had taken her group to another classroom, James could distinctly tell that Chloe was determinedly avoiding his gaze. Clearly she felt bad about earlier.

James didn't mind tutoring. He was good enough at spells and seemed to have a knack for explaining things in a way that the fifth years could understand. The hour went by quickly, and by the time they were all filtering back out of the classroom, he was feeling in a much better mood.

He waited for Lily outside her classroom, but when she emerged she shook her head at him and said, "I'm going to wait for Remus, why don't you go ahead?"

"Are you going to ask him about it?" James asked.

Lily smiled, "I think so, otherwise it could be weeks knowing them."

James shrugged and left her to it. Maybe he'd try to talk to Sirius, but he wasn't entirely sure how to bring the subject up. He'd thought they'd known everything there was to know about each other, and finding out that wasn't true was strange.

Remus was, as usual, the last to finish tutoring. He tended to get a little carried away, but the fifth years didn't seem to mind too much. Not for the first time, Lily thought that Remus would actually make a great teacher. It filled her with sadness that he probably wouldn't even be able to consider it.

He was smiling when he left the classroom, but looked surprised to find that she'd waited for him.

"I thought we could walk back together," she smiled, "and have a talk on the way."

"Okay," Remus said, looking slightly concerned. "A talk about what?"

"Well..." Lily said, fiddling with the straps of her bag as they began to walk. "Chloe may have mentioned something to James - about you and Sirius."

Remus' eyes widened but he tried to feign nonchalance. "Me and Sirius? What do you mean?"

"Remus," she sighed. "I love you, but you guys are pretty obvious. Apparently half of the school are talking about it."

"Oh." He didn't say anything for a long moment as they made their way along the corridor. "I didn't realise anyone knew. I thought we were doing a good job of hiding it." He smiled wryly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"I don't mind!" She said hastily, "well, I do a little, but only because I want you to know that you can trust me. And tell me things, if you need to."

"Thanks," Remus said. "It wasn't that we don't trust you, just that we wanted to tell you, James and Peter at the same time so that you all heard it from us and, well, Sirius has been worried about telling James. So really it's his fault entirely and not mine," he added.

"Ah," Lily said, smiling. "Well, I can accept betrayal from Sirius more easily. It's not like I didn't see this coming a mile off - although when exactly did it happen? You need to tell me all the details!"

This seemed to alarm Remus more than anything. "Details? I have no idea what you're talking about, there's nothing to tell you, nothing whatsoever."

"Are you sure about that?" Lily said. "Because from what I hear..."

She trailed off. They'd turned a corner into an empty corridor, and on the wall near the arithmancy classroom was some graffiti that hadn't been there earlier that day. There was a dark skull with a snake slithering out of its mouth and beside it were the words "DOWN WITH MUDBLOOD SCUM".

They both stopped and stared at the wall. Neither of them had seen anything like this before. It wasn't exactly unusual to hear certain pureblood families say unpleasant things about muggleborns, but it was usually less prominent within Hogwarts. Lily thought back to a year ago, when it was Mary's blood that had adorned the walls of this very corridor thanks to a group of pureblood Slytherins. She shuddered as she thought about it.

She started to speak but the words seemed dry on her tongue. She found herself backing away as she read a couple of other equally derogative comments that decorated the wall.

Remus wasn't moving, just looking up at the graffiti in utter shock.

"I can't believe this," Lily said then. When she had found out she was a witch she had imagined a school filled with magic and wonder, and had never even considered that one day she would be walking along with her friend, chatting mindlessly about boys, when she would come across something like this – something that targeted her.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked, finally diverting his attention away from the wall.

"No," Lily replied, feeling her hands shake with rage. "No. I'm not okay at all."

Remus stepped forward and took her hand, steadying her slightly. "Come on," he said quietly, "we should go and tell someone."

* * *

The following day, James was on his way back from charms class, having been forced to stay behind by an exasperated Professor Flitwick because he'd forgotten about his homework. His mind was too full up with Quidditch practice, his new knowledge about Sirius and Remus and the pain on Lily's face when she'd told him about the graffiti.

He was just about to slip out of a secret passage that led onto the seventh floor when he heard part of the conversation of a small group of sixth years walking back from a divination lesson.

"-saw them coming out of the prefects' bathroom together. As in _together._ "

"Woah, really? Do you think they were having sex?"

There was a chorus of disgusted sounds and James' chest tightened.

"It's surprising," one of them, who James recognised as Runcorn, added, "since Black's family are such stubborn purebloods. Doubt they'd be pleased about the halfblood part or the queer part."

"Should be interesting when they find out," a Ravenclaw boy James thought was named Shaw replied, laughing.

"You think that's funny?" James demanded. None of them had noticed him come out of the secret passageway and they all stopped abruptly when he spoke.

Shaw shrugged. "Come on, it was just a joke."

"You don't get to joke about people's families – or their relationships," James said. He felt his stomach turn to lead as he thought about what Sirius' parents would say to him if they had the chance. Sirius had been hurt far too much by them already.

"Would you call it a relationship?" Runcorn asked, smirking. "I don't really think it's fair to call it that. People like them can't have a _real_ relationship."

James' emotions wouldn't translate into words; the fury that surged through him could only be expressed with actions. Without thinking about what he was doing, James threw all his weight behind a punch that caused a satisfying crack as it hit Runcorn's face, making him stagger backwards.

There was a surge of noise as Runcorn's friends started shouting, one of them grabbing Runcorn to stop him from falling and another shoving James hard in the chest.

"That's enough!" Professor McGonagall shouted. She has been walking beside Professor Kettleburn, but hurried down the corridor towards them and stepped in between the boys. "You two, take Mr. Runcorn to the hospital wing; I'll speak to him when he's been seen to. As for you, Mr. Potter, I expect better from the Head Boy."

James looked down at his feet, but he was still too angry to apologise. "They were making out like there’s something wrong with my friends,” he said indignantly. “Just because Remus and Sirius are – together or something, it doesn’t give them the right to -” He cut himself off, but judging by the look of understanding on McGonagall's face, she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I see. Well, I assure you that such prejudices will not be tolerated and I understand that you're angry, but these things are not resolved with our fists. I'll see you in my office for detention tonight at 7pm."

James just nodded, and McGonagall spared a moment to squeeze his shoulder before striding down the corridor towards the hospital wing.

* * *

When James turned up at McGonagall's office, he was surprised to find Lily there. She was standing in front of McGonagall's desk with a sour expression on her face, and James caught the end of her sentence, "-don't see why I'm being punished when they were the ones talking shi-"

"Miss Evans!" Professor McGonagall interrupted. "I assure you that once Mr. Greymark has been de-transfigured I will issue suitable punishment for his comments."

"That's what Dumbledore said when Mary was attacked," Lily said angrily. "And look what happened with that graffiti last night. Intolerance can't just be persuaded out of people by a couple of detentions or a talking to, Professor."

James didn't think he'd ever heard Lily talk to a teacher in such a way before. He knew she was still extremely upset about the previous night, but was surprised to hear it bubble out of her in front of Mcgonagall.

Before McGonagall could reply to Lily's outburst, James walked into the room, hoping to clear the air a little.

"Here I am," he said unnecessarily.

"Yes," McGonagall replied, "I can see that."

She turned back to Lily, but she'd gone silent and was looking uncomfortably at the portrait above McGonagall's desk.

"Right then, Miss Evans, Mr Potter," she sighed, "while I appreciate your dedication to your friends, you're Head Boy and Girl, and I can't have you both walking around punching," she looked poignantly at James, "or transfiguring," she turned to Lily, "people."

James thought he might have caught a small smile on Lily's face when she heard about the punching.

"Potter," she continued, "you'll be down in the trophy room please. They haven't been dusted in quite some time. Evans, Hagrid needs some help in the forest - he'll be waiting for you at the main entrance."

"Fine," Lily said, while James nodded in agreement.

They left her office and smiled weakly at one another before heading in opposite directions.

* * *

James had been dusting trophies - most of which he'd noticed had been issued to people with complicated sounding names - for only a half hour when he heard the door creak open behind him.

He turned, puzzled, to find Sirius standing in the doorway.

"What're you doing here?"

"Thought I'd come and help you out."

He stepped into the room, but made no attempt to actually clean anything.

"No offense mate," James said, "but since when do you volunteer to do other people's detentions."

"I guess since you started getting them because of me," he said sheepishly. He wasn't looking James in the eye exactly, rather looking at him skittishly then glancing away again.

He hauled himself up onto the window ledge nearby, moving a few trophies to the side so that he could sit comfortably.

James put down the cloth he'd been cleaning with and leant against the wall beside him.

"Is it true?" James asked. "Are you are Moony going out?"

"Yeah," Sirius admitted, swinging his legs nervously. "It happened over Christmas."

"That's ages ago! And you decided to keep it a secret from me all this time?" James asked. After he'd gotten over the initial shock at the idea of Remus and Sirius being together, he'd realised that what he was really upset about was the fact that Sirius apparently didn't trust him enough to tell him about it. "I thought we told each other everything, Pads."

"We do," Sirius said quickly. He looked guilty, and James felt a twang of regret. He hadn't intended to make him feel bad, but he couldn't help being hurt. "I wanted to tell you," he said, "I really did. Remus suggested it loads, but I didn't know how you'd react, I mean, of course, you're James, I should have known you wouldn't react badly but I couldn't - "

He paused, looking down at the ground, and the silence between them became so great that eventually James asked, "couldn't what?"

"I couldn't lose you – you're my family."

James was taken aback for a minute.

"Sirius, get down from the window," he said earnestly.

Sirius did as he was told, landing lightly next to James with an expression of mixed embarrassment and concern.

"You're an idiot," James said, and wrapped his arms around Sirius in a hug. "And you're my brother, no matter what."

He felt Sirius release a breath and relax as he returned the hug. "Thanks Prongs," he muttered. "Er, while we're having a moment and all, would now be a good time to tell you that me and Moony sort of left the map in the prefect’s bathroom the other day."

"You what?" James asked, letting go of him.

"Yeah, remember, you were outside the door and I was distracted with trying not to let you know that I'd been making out with Remus so we kind of forgot about it. And by the time we went back for it... well, it wasn't there."

 _"What?"_ James said again, glaring at his friend.

"Yeah so, I'll just let you get back to your detention then," Sirius said, backing away from him, "good talk though mate, you're the best."

He fled, leaving James stood in the middle of room, feeling like he'd just been hit over the head with something. They'd worked on the map for so long, and just like that it was gone.

Part of him knew he should be angry, but in the end he just shrugged it off. He supposed they wouldn't need it for much longer anyway, since they would be leaving school soon. Maybe someone else would find it and put it to good use long after they left. He found himself smiling slightly at the idea, as he set about cleaning another trophy.


	38. The Dark Mark

As Lily left Professor Slughorn's office, she looked at her watch and was dismayed to find that it was already 8pm. She had only gone down to the dungeons to ask a question about the NEWT practical exam, but Slughorn kept prolonging their conversation until she managed to excuse herself an hour later. She still had homework to finish before bed so she began to hurry back towards Gryffindor Tower.

It was a bit spooky walking through the dungeons when so few people were around and not all the torches on the walls were lit. She wondered why they were even called the dungeons at all, when Hogwarts had always been a school, and the thought made her shiver.

She had almost reached the staircase when she heard voices and footsteps coming towards her; Slytherins, she guessed, returning to their common room. When she recognised Snape's voice, she hung back, feeling too tired to deal with him at that moment.

The Slytherins descended the stairs and turned right, talking in low voices and walking away from Lily without even noticing her in the dim light.

"I don't think you realise how important this is," Snape was saying insistently. "We've been chosen to join him."

A feeling of dread rose in Lily's stomach.

"So have loads of other people," another Slytherin replied. "Mulciber joined him after he was expelled and so did Dolohov right after he finished school.”

"But only the worthy are given the mark." Snape pulled back the sleeve of his robes, but from behind him Lily couldn't see his arm. "The Dark Lord trusts us."

Lily's blood turned cold. She hadn't heard anyone call Voldemort the Dark Lord before, but who else could Snape mean?

The Slytherins’ voices began to fade as they walked further away, but even after they were out of sight Lily couldn't bring herself to move. Snape had joined Voldemort. A little over two years ago he had been her best friend, and now he had joined a man who would happily see muggleborns like her dead.

By the time she returned to her dorm, the shock had worn off and she simply felt hollow. Things were already so much worse than she'd thought they were.

She went to bed without speaking to anybody, leaving her homework unfinished. She lay awake for hours before exhaustion settled her mind and sent her to sleep.

* * *

Sirius had woken up late. After barely having time to grab a slice of toast from the great hall and tripping down two stairs on his way down to potions, he was convinced he was going to be late for class.

However, when he turned the final corner towards the classroom, he saw people still lingering outside the door, and for a moment though he'd actually made it on time. Then he glanced down at the watch the Potters had given him for his 17th birthday and, as he'd thought, it was almost ten past the hour.

As he moved closer, Sirius noticed that the majority of students outside - three of them - were Slytherins. Professor Slughorn was also there, tugging on the bottom of his beard as he often did when faced with a confrontation. Lastly, Sirius spotted Lily, standing in the middle of the group with a murderous expression as she looked between the Slytherins and Slughorn.

He was still too far away to hear what they were saying, but Sirius saw Lily point angrily to one of the boys - Snape, he realised - and noticed her take a menacing step towards him, before catching herself and standing still.

Sirius felt a smile creeping onto his face - if Lily was actually going to murder Snape he definitely wanted to be around to see it. He shrunk back into the doorway of another classroom to watch, but Slughorn was waving his hands and shaking his head, trying to diffuse the situation. Whatever had happened, he'd clearly had enough of it, and a few minutes later the Slytherins and Lily were being ushered back into the classroom. Feeling slightly disappointed, Sirius followed them.

Slughorn merely sighed at his lateness, not even threatening him with detention. Obviously he'd been put out enough for one morning.

Grabbing the cauldron he'd left on the windowsill to brew since their last lesson, Sirius crossed the room and took his seat beside Remus, who frowned at him as he sat down.

"What?" Sirius said self-consciously, but Remus wasn't paying him any attention. Instead, he was peering around Sirius' body, trying to get a glimpse of Lily, who was sat stony faced at the next table, determinedly ignoring the whispers of the boys behind her.

"What happened?" Sirius asked Remus then, but his boyfriend shook his head.

"I don't really know," he said, "it's not like Lily, but she seemed to be looking for a fight as soon as class started."

"Weird," Sirius replied.

He still hadn't emptied the potions kit out of his bag, and Slughorn was glaring at him, so he thought it best not to comment further.

Lily was usually excellent at potions – much better than either Sirius or Remus – but as the class progressed it became clear that her mind was elsewhere. Half way into the lesson, a putrid smelling grey cloud of smoke started steaming up from her cauldron, which Mary frantically tried to control by adding more asphodel. Lily watched her friend absently, but when the smoke refused to clear, and sniggers began to erupt from other students, she angrily threw down her spoon, spraying the potion across the desk. Then she pointed her wand determinedly into her cauldron and muttered a spell that cleared the entirety of the liquid away, leaving it empty.

"Lily!" Slughorn called, rushing over. He stared at her empty cauldron in dismay. "What on earth? You've been working on this for three weeks."

"It doesn't matter," Lily replied.

"It doesn't – of course it matters!"

Lily shrugged at him, looking away, and Slughorn, at a loss for what to do next, merely sighed and muttered something about making up time in the evenings. He didn't send her out, or even shout, which was, Sirius though, a testament to how much he must actually understand her behaviour.

Sirius noticed her half-heartedly restart the potion towards the end of class and dump it onto the windowsill to rest before hurrying out of the classroom ahead of most of the others, who had barely started packing away their equipment. Sirius said a quick goodbye to Remus, who had another class straight after potions, and, on instinct, rushed after her.

"Evans," he called, but she resolutely ignored him. "Lily, wait."

She slipped through a hidden passageway on the way out of the dungeons, but Sirius soon caught up with her on the other side and was relieved when she stopped walking away from him.

"You may be going out with James," he smiled, "but I helped find these shortcuts, you know."

"I'm not really in the mood to talk right now," Lily said.

"I know," Sirius almost reached out to her, but he knew that when he was mad he often didn't want people fussing over him. "It's just, you're obviously upset. And if it's to do with arsehole Slytherins then I have some experience in that area."

He paused, and Lily made no attempt to reply, or move away, so he continued. "If you do want to talk about it, or just shout a bit, then - we could go somewhere with slightly more room than a staircase and you know - do that."

He felt slightly embarrassed, but looked at her expectantly.

Lily's blank expression eventually gave way and Sirius saw how tired she looked, as though she hadn't slept well.

"The empty room by the arithmancy classroom is usually left unlocked," she said. Sirius nodded and Lily led the way, neither of them speaking until the classroom door was shut behind them. Sirius waited for Lily to speak, and she eventually said, "Did you know Voldemort is recruiting people who are still in school?"

Sirius' expression immediately fell.

"No," he said. "I knew that people were involved somehow - that there was talk."

He thought of his brother, and the fact that his entire family supported the pureblood ideology that Voldemort stood for. He thought of his cousins and their husbands, and the way he'd sometimes seen Regulus look at them - like he admired what they said and did.

"You mean - recruiting them to do what exactly? Fight? Hurt people?"

"I don't know." Lily sat down on one of the desks, her hands gripping the wood hard enough to turn her knuckles white. "I overheard Sev - Snape and his friends talking about it. They all have some sort of mark on their arms that means they've joined him. I don't know what they're doing for him; I just know that they've chosen to be on his side." She looked down, touching her arm where Snape's mark was. In a softer voice, she said, "I know that Snape has said some terrible things, Sirius, and I even think he was probably the one who wrote that graffiti about mudbloods being scum, but even after everything he's done I never imagined that if the world split in two, we'd be on opposite sides. He was the first wizard I even knew, and he was supposed to be my friend."

Sirius watched her look down at the floor, and could tell, even without being able to see her face through her long hair, that she was struggling not to cry. It struck him suddenly, how much he cared about her. She may be James' girlfriend, but she was also his friend, and seeing her like this made him furious at the situation they found themselves in and desperate to quell some of the helplessness they were all feeling.

"You're tired," he said, pushing himself up onto the desk beside her. "I'm tired too."

She looked up at him, unshed tears sticking her eyelashes together in thick clumps. "Yeah?" she asked.

"Yeah. People keep dying and I can't do anything to stop it. I wish I could - because it's people like me causing all this crap, right? Purebloods with stupid ideas of grandeur. Hell, my family are probably right there with Voldemort - you know I saw third years who wouldn't even say his name the other day?"

Lily looked at him, the pain on her face reflecting his. "You're not responsible for what your family does, Sirius. But I know what you mean – I wish we could do something. It all felt so distant until now but I can't stop thinking that the danger is growing, we don't know who will be next and we just have to carry on with NEWTS as though everything's normal."

Sirius nodded. "Teachers and parents - they're trying to protect us but they're just making it so we're unprepared - so that we leave school not knowing what's out there. That's not protecting us at all. Clearly, if Voldemort is recruiting kids then shielding us from reality isn't working." His last sentence was heavy with anger, but when he met Lily's eyes he just looked worried. "It's not fair, and I'm scared for you - for muggleborns. I'm scared for Remus and what he'll have to deal with after school. I'm scared that my brother will get himself killed, or that when it comes down to it, he could hurt someone I love. I'm terrified."

"Me too," Lily agreed quietly. "I always thought Hogwarts was safe, that the terrible things happening outside couldn't touch us. But the war is already here, isn't it? Right here in this castle. I never thought that would happen. I never thought I'd have to live with the knowledge that my classmates might want me dead."

"I know I can't understand how scary that must be," he replied, "but… you know that we have each other, right? You have us. All of us, not just James. And things will get better."

"I hope so," Lily said gravely, "because I think we're on the edge of something. And if things don't get better, they're going to get a lot, lot worse."

It was slightly odd to have had such a sombre conversation with Sirius, when for most of her time at school she'd thought of him as an idiot who was more interested in playing pranks than what was actually happening in the world. She didn't know how one person could contain two halves of themselves like that – but maybe they all did. Maybe that was what pain did to them; hiding it turned them into liars. But Lily didn't want to lie anymore. She wanted to yell and curse until people heard the pain that all this hatred was causing. She wanted to do something about it, but she didn't know how to – not yet.


	39. The Future

The end of their seventh and final year at Hogwarts was approaching with alarming speed. Apparently realising that their students had had very little time to plan what they were doing once they left school, the Heads of House had agreed to give the seventh years permission to leave Hogwarts at will a few weeks before exams, so that they would be able to sort out their living and career arrangements for the coming year.

James couldn't apply to be an Auror until he had received his NEWT grades and none of his friends seemed particularly eager to apply for jobs, so only Lily had travelled to London early in the week. She had told James all about her interview with a friendly old witch who had accepted her as a trainee healer on the spot, assuming her grades were up to scratch.

Though James could still feel the weight of dread in his stomach, unable to ignore the increasingly frequent Daily Prophet reports of missing, injured or dead muggleborns, he and Lily were feeling much more hopeful about leaving Hogwarts than they had in recent weeks. Unfortunately, the same could not be said of his friends. Peter planned to live alone rather than be a third wheel to any of the others, but he had shown very little enthusiasm at this idea. Sirius had initially been excited about house-hunting, but Remus' complete disinterest had dampened his spirits.

James had tried to get everyone to look at flats with him and Lily, but although everyone had agreed, only Peter had actually made it; Remus claimed he felt too ill and Sirius didn't want to go without him.

Even Peter had been quiet all day, and he'd gone to look at a nearby flat with much less eagerness than James and Lily.

"I'll leave you to it, shall I?" the estate agent asked as the two of them stood in the doorway to a sizeable and brightly lit flat. She was a muggle and had looked at James' and Peter's mismatched outfits with bemusement. Thankfully at least Lily knew how to dress as a muggle and, for example, knew not to wear the bright green flares James had got her for Christmas. Still, despite them looking a little out of place, the estate agent was happy to show them around. "I'll be outside if you have any questions."

"Thanks," James said as the door shut behind them and they were left in an empty living room.

Lily looked around at the garish yellow walls and bare floorboards. If someone had shown her a picture of the room, she'd probably have thought it looked awful, but actually standing there, hand in hand with James, it didn't feel bad at all.

The block was in a reasonably small neighbourhood on the outskirts of London – fairly near to the city, but not so close that it would be too crowded.

"It's nice," she said, glancing at James. "It's... a grown up place where real couples live."

"Grown up," he repeated. Not so long ago the idea would have filled him with disdain; he was a marauder at heart and never wanted to give up the Gryffindor part of him that loved nothing more than pranks and Quidditch and adventures. But looking at Lily, he realised there was a new part of him that wanted to start a long and happy life with her, and that part of him was filled with excitement about them moving in together. "I guess that's us now, huh?"

"I guess so," she replied, smiling at him.

He squeezed her hand and they moved into the kitchen, which was small but adequate, with shiny cabinets and a round table pushed into one corner.

They both giggled when they went into the only bedroom, and Lily felt simultaneously like an adult and more like a teenager than she ever had before. She figured that maybe, for a little while, it was okay to feel like both.

"I like it," she told James, "better than the other one this morning, and it's closer to my parents, which is good."

"Yeah," James replied. He looked at her again, a wave of sadness tugging down the corners of his smile.

Lily's father had been diagnosed with dementia only a few weeks previously, and James didn't entirely understand what it meant, but he knew that it was serious, and that Lily was terrified for him. With everything else that was happening in the wizarding world, James silently cursed the muggle diseases that seemed intent on causing the people he cared about so much pain.

"Don't look so worried," Lily told him, noticing his expression. "I'll be fine!" She said it with a little too much force, but James let her smile at him and joke about where in the room they'd put their bed.

Once they'd looked in all four of the rooms, they stood holding hands by the window, looking out at the unfamiliar streets. James felt a pang of sadness as he thought about how moving in with Lily meant leaving behind his shared dorm. "I hope Peter likes that other flat," he said. "And there are a few more places around here so maybe Remus and Sirius will live close by too."

"You're still going to be friends," Lily said firmly. "You know that, right? You've been inseparable for too long to grow apart now. I don't know how our lives are going to turn out, but not everything has to change just because we're leaving school."

"I hope you're right," James said quietly.

* * *

Sirius had been busying himself with sorting out the schedule for practice sessions for their last Quidditch match, which was quickly approaching. He'd offered to do it while James, Lily and Peter were out in London, and he'd finally managed to work it around everyone's schedules, before giving it to Chloe, who insisted on colour coding it before pinning it up.

He'd been casting glances across the common room at Remus all morning, who was stubbornly scrawling transfiguration notes across a growing pile of parchment. Sirius had been excited about going to look at flats with the others, but when Remus had said he wasn't feeling well, Sirius had agreed to stay behind.

"Hey," he said, sinking into the chair beside Remus, "how are you feeling?"

"What?" Remus asked, looking annoyed to be pulled away from his work. "Oh, yeah, better."

"Good!" Sirius smiled, "maybe we could go and look at those flats another day this week instead."

"Hmm," Remus said, eyes scanning his notes.

Sirius paused, watching Remus, who as far as he could tell was determinedly not looking at him.

Then a thought occurred to Sirius, and a cold feeling spread uncomfortably through him.

"I never actually asked you, did I?" Sirius said, and Remus finally looked at him, though his expression was merely one of confusion. "I just presumed that we'd live together. But now we're _together_ I guess - I didn't consider that you might not want to - if we're moving too fast."

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a long sigh, followed by, "I can't do this right now."

"Do what?" Sirius asked, confused.

"This." Remus stood up and started to pick up his things.

"This?" Sirius repeated. "Us? Because we don't have to - we can -"

"Sirius."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"No." Remus said, then, "I don't think so. I just -" he shook his head.

"You can't just say stuff like that without explaining!" Sirius said. He could feel himself getting angry, his voice raising as he spoke.

"Well I'm sorry I can't be exactly what you want all the damn time," Remus shouted back, equally angry, then he laughed in a way that didn't betray an ounce of humour. "You can't just make everything right all the time." He sighed, then added more gently: "I wish you could."

Sirius watched him abandon his transfiguration notes and hurry out of the portrait hole, the door swinging shut behind him.

* * *

Peter found himself standing alone in an empty flat, his footsteps echoing in the silence. It was hard to imagine this blank space devoid of furniture as home. Really, it was hard to think of anywhere other than Hogwarts as his home; he had never expected to make such close friends at school, but now that he'd experienced being accepted unquestioning, he didn't want to lose that feeling. He wasn't sure he could ever find friends like James, Sirius and Remus again if he lost them.

But it wasn't as though he'd had a choice in the matter. It had all been decided without so much as a discussion that everyone would pair off and Peter would be left on his own. He'd tried to act cheerful about the prospect but he didn't think he'd succeeded. All he could think was "this is how it's going to be from now on."

He didn't know anything about how to choose a place to live, so after he'd stood in the doorway of every room and surveyed it with disinterest, he returned to the street outside and handed the estate agent the key. She was busy talking to a couple who looked only a few years older than Peter; the woman was wearing an engagement ring and the man had his arm around her.

"I'll let you in," the estate agent said to them. "It's a perfect first home for a couple; the rent is cheap for the amount of space you get and there's a lovely double bedroom."

Their voices faded and Peter was left standing on the pavement by himself. Lily and James were across the street a few doors down and he could just about see their silhouettes in the window. How was it that everyone except him had already found someone they loved? How had seven years of friendship led to Peter standing out here on his own?

Lily and James had just moved away from the window and out of sight when the estate agent reappeared.

"So?" she asked. "Is it a good fit for you?"

Peter shrugged. "I'm not going to find anywhere better."

* * *

It was 3am that night and Remus was still awake. Thoughts about his future were crowding his brain and the anxiety rolling around his stomach was making him feel claustrophobic. He considered waking up Sirius to talk to him, but given the argument they'd had earlier that didn't seem like a good idea. Besides, Sirius didn't deserve having to deal with all of Remus' problems.

Instead, he quietly slipped out of bed, putting on slippers and a dressing gown and carefully retrieving the invisibility cloak from under James' bed. He didn't really have any concrete ideas about where he was going, but once he was out of the Gryffindor tower he decided he needed some fresh air. Sneaking out of the main doors would be risky even with the invisibility cloak, so he climbed the Astronomy Tower stairs until he reached the roof where other students would have been peering through telescopes just a few hours ago.

It was a still night and the cool air managed to settle his stomach and his thoughts, leaving him with a dull feeling of nostalgia. Hogwarts had been his haven for so many years, the one place where being a werewolf hadn't held him back. He had thought he'd felt better about his prospects after talking to Sirius on the day of the careers fair, but every time his friends cheerfully discussed flats and jobs and futures, he was reminded that he couldn't live the way they could. Even with Voldemort making the world a more dangerous place, there was still hope for everyone else. Everyone but Remus.

He had always known the way things would be, but the life he'd led at Hogwarts had allowed him to believe things might be better than he'd imagined. Yet as the future approached, Remus became more and more sure that he had nothing to be hopeful for.

* * *

Sirius couldn't sleep. He'd been drifting in and out of consciousness, but the fight he'd had earlier with Remus kept drawing him back to wakefulness. Them barely speaking for the rest of the day seemed ridiculous now his anger had cooled. He wasn't even sure exactly **why** they were fighting, but he was determined to clear the air.

He rolled out of bed and was met with the sight of Remus' empty one. He knew that Remus had a tendency to walk around the grounds to clear his head when he was upset, and Sirius simultaneously found his flightiness endearing and irritating.

He looked under James' bed for the cloak but, as expected, it was already gone. Wishing they still had the map, Sirius pulled on a regular cloak and heading out of the dormitory. He could check outside - but would Remus really risk going down there so late and alerting Filch? No - he'd check the astronomy tower first and maybe the room of requirement; they were closer, and with any luck he'd get there without being seen.

* * *

Though it was mid-May, the night air was still cold and Remus shivered a little as he took the invisibility cloak off and leant his elbows on the wall of the Astronomy Tower, looking down over the Hogwarts grounds. There were no lights except the stars and the crescent moon, which as always he couldn't help but be aware of. Up here, with the silent castle beneath his feet, he felt very alone.

And then he heard the shuffle of feet behind him. Thinking it was a teacher looking for students out of bed, he reached for the invisibility cloak, but before he could throw it over himself he heard a familiar voice say, "Hey, Moony."

Remus met Sirius' gaze, and he was both glad that Sirius had found him and regretful that he hadn't managed to pull the cloak over himself before Sirius had arrived.

"Hi," was all he said.

They both awkwardly looked away, and then Sirius blurted out, "Are we still fighting? Because I don't even know what we're supposed to be fighting _about_."

Remus felt a flicker of anger, which he knew wasn't Sirius' fault, but that didn't help to dim the harshness of his tone when he said, "Yeah, of course you don't have a clue."

"That's not fair," Sirius said, stepping into Remus' space. He took Remus' hand, which was pulled away. Frowning, he added, "You can talk to me you know, about whatever's bothering you. If it's me - or something else."

"Sirius." Remus took a step away. "Not everything is about you."

"That's not what I said," Sirius argued. "I just thought – you didn't want to go to London with the others, and you've been avoiding me, so..." He wrapped his arms around himself uncomfortably. "What am I supposed to think?"

"It's not that I don't want to live with you," Remus said in frustration. "It's that we shouldn't – you shouldn't want to live with me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It won't be like Hogwarts," Remus said, his voice growing louder as he gestured away from the school. "The rest of the world isn't like it is here! Not everyone is going to be as accepting of what I am as Dumbledore is."

"I thought we talked about this at the careers fair. If this is about money you know I have more than I know what to do with."

"You don't understand!" Remus shouted, unable to bottle up his emotions any more. For years he'd pushed back his anger and fear about the life he had to lead; the future he'd wanted had been stolen from him all those years ago, and it was only now that he was facing the rest of his life with no plans and no prospects that he was finally feeling the full weight of the burden he carried. "You're imagining a life that I can never have! It'll be hard enough being two blokes living together but being a werewolf on top of that will make this impossible. I have no future and I'm scared that I'm just going to drag you down with me."

"That's what this is about?" Sirius asked. "Look, I know it won't always be easy – I'm not an idiot. But we'll find a way to make it work, just like we always have."

"But what if it we can't? What if as soon as we leave school everything gets too hard and it all falls apart?"

Sirius shrugged. "Nothing has ever been easy for either of us, Remus. Just because something's difficult doesn't mean we should give up on it."

Remus just looked at him, breathing heavily. As the end of the school year had drawn closer, his worries about the future had filled his mind, like a balloon growing bigger and tighter until it was ready to pop. Now he'd let out all of his thoughts, he felt deflated: at once relieved and resigned and tired, always tired.

"Listen to me," Sirius said more gently, moving closer again. "Maybe the odds are against us, Merlin knows horrible things have been happening, but we've always got through the shit times, yeah? Me, you, James and Pete? I never thought that we'd end up _together_ like this but, Remus, I can't lose that - you - now."

This time, when Sirius reached for his hand, Remus linked their fingers together.

"Okay," Remus said, though doubt still hovered at the edge of his mind.

"Okay?" Sirius repeated.

"We'll look at places to live," Remus said tentatively. "And after exams we'll start looking for jobs. And... we'll work out the rest when we get there."

Sirius beamed at him, and as Remus finally allowed himself to think about a future spent together, he felt the first glimmer of hope he'd had in months.

* * *

When they left the Astronomy Tower a while later, the invisibility cloak was all but forgotten in the pocket of Remus' dressing gown. They could have both fit underneath it easily enough, but a quiet kind of calm had fallen over the two of them in the dim light and silence of the castle, making the cloak seem needless.

That was until they rounded a corner and came face to face with the headmaster.

Remus instinctively jumped backwards at the surprising appearance of Dumbledore, and Sirius let out a yelp that he would later completely deny.

After realising that Dumbledore was in fact not a murderer, or even worse, Peeves, they caught their breath, and Remus let go of Sirius' hand in favour of stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Sirius was about to offer some kind of excuse to explain their presence in the corridor so late, but before he could think of anything Dumbledore spoke.

"Trouble sleeping?" he asked. "I'm having the same problem. A night time stroll does seem to help settle a few things in one's mind, does it not?"

Sirius was still getting over the surprise at not being told off when Remus replied, "Yes, exactly, we were just - this whole preparing for the future thing is a bit overwhelming. Sorry for being out of bed so late, Professor."

"Quite understandable," Dumbledore replied cheerfully. "I'm glad to see the two of you seem to have resolved whatever problems you were having." He glanced down at where their hands had been linked and Remus felt his cheeks turn red.

"Er, thanks, Professor," Sirius said.

Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling. "Well now, you'd better hurry off to bed. I saw Mr Filch not long ago and he tends to be a bit less forgiving of restless wanderings. Goodnight, both of you."

"Night, Professor," Remus said, as they watched with some bewilderment as Dumbledore walked away, his slippers slapping against the stone floor.

"What was that all about?" Sirius asked as soon as the headmaster was out of earshot.

He and Remus continued walking, speeding up a little with the threat of Filch nearby.

"A lot of teachers are more forgiving than you'd think if you're not actually up to anything," Remus shrugged.

"You're saying that this is a regular occurrence for you?" Sirius said, completely baffled. "You're such a good little prefect that you can wander around the castle whenever you like? 'Oh no Remus, don't worry about being out of bed in the middle of the night, you just carry on, while you're here would you like some tea?'"

"Only McGonagall ever offers me tea," Remus smirked.

"This is outrageous. I don't know whether to be horrified or impressed... nope, I'm going with impressed. You're a man of many talents, Moony. Clearly you have won the hearts of many a Professor - I should be jealous."

"You should," Remus said. "McGonagall makes much better tea than you do."

"I'll have to get her to teach me the great art of tea making for when we're living together. Your boyfriend has to meet your tea standards, after all."

"I think seven years of teaching you transfiguration has probably put her off teaching you anything else."

Sirius pretended to be offended. "I'll have you know I am a delight to teach."

Remus grinned, and they were both still smiling when they reached the Gryffindor Tower and quietly slipped into Remus' bed together. This time, sleep came easily and they both drifted off to the sound of Peter's snores.


	40. Exams

It was strange not having to get up and go to class.

They'd had the same routine for the past seven years: an alarm would go off at 7.30, and they'd all eventually drag themselves out of bed and head to the Great Hall for breakfast before the slog of the school day fell upon them. It was predictable – how Sirius would always be surprisingly chipper first thing in the morning – how Remus would bury his head under his pillow and groan – how James would attempt to flatten his hair and give up within a few seconds.

Now when Peter woke up, it was to an empty dorm room. He must have slept in, he figured, sitting up and pushing away the thick quilt. They were supposed to be using the few weeks without classes to revise for their quickly approaching exams, but although NEWTs were closer than ever, none of them really seemed to be making much progress. It wasn't intentional by any means; Peter was actually quite good at getting to the library most days. He'd lay out all his books and notes, get settled in the comfiest seat he could find and then just – nothing. He'd stare at the words and they would jumble in his mind, not making any sense. It seemed that whenever he tried to actually learn the material he was supposed to, his brain got stuck and he couldn't take any of it in.

At other times, like today, he'd intend to get started on revision early, but in actuality would wake up at – he glanced down at his watch, and discovered that it was already past lunch time.

"Great," he muttered to himself, standing up and pulling some clean clothes out of his trunk. Now he was going to have to waste even more time going to the kitchens to get food.

His eye was caught by the brightly coloured square of parchment magically stuck to the wall beside his bed.

Peter had made all four of them revision schedules weeks ago. His currently said that he should be well into three hours of Care of Magical Creatures work, but despite his best efforts and tireless colour-coding of their different subjects, no one seemed to be using the schedules a whole lot – himself included. He found himself getting irrationally mad, standing alone in the dorm with the early summer sun glaring at him through the window and making him feel too hot. His first exam was in little more than a week, and no one seemed to be taking the most important tests of their lives seriously at all. It made it even harder to concentrate when his friends were talking about the future. Peter wasn't really a future kind of guy – he struggled to see past the now, and what was happening in the now seemed to be the imminent failure of his final year at school.

Once dressed, he headed down to the common room, where he immediately spotted James. He was leaning on one of the tables by the window, which was covered with open books.

Sitting at the table were a frazzled looking Mary and a slightly calmer Chloe, who were frowning at James and trying to dislodge their books from under his elbow.

"James," Mary was saying as Peter approached, "I know Quidditch is important but I have this exam in 3 days. It's one of my hardest subjects!"

"Yeah man," Chloe agreed, "I have OWLs coming up, not to mention a birthday party to help organise for my brother before term ends _and_ Benjy and I are supposed to be booking a trip somewhere. I don't have room in my head for anything else."

James looked extremely distressed. "If we win this last match we win the cup!" he told them, which did absolutely nothing to change their expressions. "Do you think Hufflepuff are just sitting around 'revising?' "

"According to Alice that's exactly what they're doing, yes," Mary told him. "Maybe you should be doing the same?"

"Urgh," James moaned, "fine, whatever, pass your exams if it means that much to you."

James turned around and saw Peter watching him. Immediately some of the tension went out of his shoulders, and he stepped over a pile of books on the floor to reach his friend.

"Can you believe those two?" he asked seriously.

Peter squinted at him. "They just want to do well; have you even started revision yet?"

"I've done a bit here and there," James shrugged, "I know people get all worked up about exams but if no one takes a break they're all going to explode."

Peter noticed that he was looking at Mary and Chloe not just with annoyance at their unwillingness to train, but with something much more like concern.

"Where is everybody?" Peter asked, flattening himself against the wall as two stressed-looking fifth years hurried past them.

"Remus and Lily went to that weird study group that the Ravenclaws set up," he said in distaste, "and Sirius is lying on the sofa transfiguring that girl's quill." He gestured to the opposite side of the room and Peter saw that Sirius was indeed flicking his wand back and forth, turning an oblivious third year's quill first into a cup – then a flower – a candle stick – and a toad – all as Peter walked towards him.

"Hiya Pete," Sirius said as he approached. He apparently forgot all about the newly transfigured toad and it hopped down off the table. "Sleep late? We brought you some lunch back."

He pointed to the table next to him and sure enough there was a plate piled high with sandwiches and pork pies. The fact that his friends had thought to bring him something lifted his mood considerably, and he grabbed the plate before pushing Sirius' legs off the sofa and sitting down beside him.

"Why were you transfiguring that girl's quill?"

"Bored," Sirius sighed.

"You could be revising like everyone else?" Peter suggested. "No one is using the timetables I made."

"I look at the timetable every morning," Sirius assured him, "but then I remember that exams aren't real and I'll probably be fine anyway."

Peter frowned at him. "What do you mean they aren't real?"

"What do they really test?" Sirius asked, "whether or not we can memorise some useless facts about spells. We can _do_ the spells," he pointed out, "so what's the point?"

"Er, not to fail the year?"

Sirius waved the comment away. "It'll be fine, the practicals will make up for anything I get wrong in the theory."

"You know theory is worth like 70% of your final mark, right?" Peter asked as he finished off one of his sandwiches. "Do you know about Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration? I heard Moony going over it yesterday – sounds complicated. I've never been more glad I dropped transfiguration."

"Gamp's what now?" Sirius asked, looking mildly panicked. "It's really worth 70%?"

Peter nodded, strangely pleased that Sirius seemed to actually be taking him seriously. "Do you want to go to the library or something?"

"Er," Sirius said, glancing around the room full of mostly fifth, sixth and seventh years – the majority of whom were looking over their notes. "Yeah actually, maybe that would be a good idea. I'm sure it'll be fine but... just to be safe."

* * *

"Why are we doing this again?" Remus asked.

He and Lily had just left the Great Hall after having met with a number of other seventh years to practise spells. It had been surprisingly helpful, though Remus was still having a hard time getting his head around the finer details of some of his subjects – potions, especially, continued to baffle him.

Which is why he was a reluctant accomplice as Lily cast a spell to unlock the door to Slughorn's classroom; he didn't want to give anyone an excuse to mark his papers more harshly.

"I've been practicing transfiguration and charms," Lily told him, "and I came up with this spell – it's quite delicate but I think – " she paused as she opened the classroom door and looked back at Remus. "Slughorn and I talked after the incident in potions and he was... understanding. Surprisingly so, actually. He's a good person."

"So you're transfiguring something in his classroom?"

"More like leaving a parting gift," Lily smiled, "since we'll be leaving so soon."

It was now less than a month until their last year at Hogwarts would be over, and Remus was sure that the stress everyone seemed to currently be under wasn't just down to exams, but also the dread of having to leave the place they'd called home for so long.

He followed Lily into the classroom and watched as she filled a clear bowl with a few inches of water from her wand. Then she muttered a spell that Remus had never heard before, and an intricately designed lily crafted itself into the surface of the water, almost as if it was being sewn into something solid.

"It's beautiful," Remus admitted, "but what's it for?"

"Watch," Lily said.

She tapped the lily gently with her wand, and it began to slowly sink downwards. Just before it reached the bottom of the bowl, strings of spell-work started to spin from the centre of the flower itself, creating a whirlwind of colour before the magic settled again, and in the place of the lily emerged a small fish.

"That's -" Remus let out a huff of laughter. The sight of the newly transfigured fish swimming around, still with the visible pattern of the flower, filled him with an unexpected burst of joy. "That's incredible."

"I like it too," Lily smiled. She waved her wand once more and the spell reversed, leaving the lily as it had been, sitting on the water. "It should happen automatically when Slughorn finds it, and stay as a fish for – well, I think forever."

"You could create your own business," Remus joked as they left, "Lily Evans' Everlasting Fish."

"It does have a nice ring to it."

* * *

By the time they'd all had their first couple of exams, stress levels had reached an unprecedented high; every night Peter heard his friends tossing in their beds and he'd heard a fair few arguments as tempers began to fray.

At lunch, James was eating as slowly as possible to put off doing more revision. "If I never finish my lunch break, I never have to practice that damned revealing charm again."

"Good luck with that, mate," Sirius said. He absently tapped his wand against his temple as he tried to remember a spell. "It begins with an m, I swear."

"Mobilicorpus?" Peter suggested. "Melofors?"

He tried to think of another spell to suggest, but before his brain could supply the information, Sirius tapped his wand against his head again and promptly turned his hair bright pink.

James choked on his pumpkin juice and Peter had to slap him on the back while trying not to dissolve into giggles. Once James could breathe again he laughed so hard that half of the people in the Great Hall turned around to look at them and grinned when they saw Sirius' hair.

"What?" Sirius said, frowning. "What are you laughing at?"

Smirking, James leant forward and tugged on a strand of Sirius' long hair. When he saw it, Sirius looked horrified, which only made Peter and James laugh harder, until eventually Sirius was laughing too.

"Come on," James said. "Let's go find a Professor to fix it."

"Can't we show the whole of Gryffindor first?" Peter asked.

"No!" Sirius said, then reconsidered. "Well, maybe. Does it suit me?"

"Idiot," James said. "Come on, I think I just saw Professor Kettleburn."

Though this had significantly improved Peter's mood, once he'd made it back to the Gryffindor common room he was beginning to feel glum and annoyed about the studying he had to do. Maybe people seemed to be in a similar mood, so it was therefore not all that surprising when Peter clambered through the portrait hole in time to see Remus throw a textbook across the room. It landed not far from Peter's feet so he picked it up and returned it to Remus, sitting down in the empty seat next to him.

"No, keep it away from me," Remus said. "I can't even look at it anymore."

Peter glanced at the title. "Achievements in Charming," he read. "I thought you liked charms?"

Remus glared at him. "No, Peter, I hate charms. I HATE IT. It's my mortal enemy."

"Two weeks ago you said Professor Flitwick was one of the best teachers."

"Well, I've changed my mind. He's a terrible teacher whose evil subject is torturing me. I hate him."

Flipping the textbook open, Peter skimmed a paragraph that sounded vaguely familiar; he suspected he'd read it for homework at some point.

"What are the advantages of non-verbal spells?" he asked Remus, who replied automatically: "They give you a split-second advantage in duels because the opponent doesn't know what spell you're casting and can't counter it.”

"Okay, now..." Peter turned the page. "Why is knowing the Latin roots of spells important, and should new spells still be based on a dead language?"

Peter tried hard to listen to Remus' long-winded explanation; he understood about two thirds of it, which was more than he'd thought he knew.

"See, you know things," Peter said. "You're good at charms. You actually know all that theory stuff that everyone else ignores in class because we're too busy making things fly and accidentally setting things on fire."

"I think it's generous to say that Sirius sets things on fire _accidentally_ ," Remus said, but he was smiling now. "Hey, I think your timetable actually says we should be doing charms this afternoon. Want to test each other?"

"Sure," Peter said, handing the book back to Remus and trying to focus. He was surprised to find that he actually knew the answers to the majority of questions Remus asked – maybe helping his friends had led to him absorbing some of the information he needed after all.

* * *

It was relief when, a little over a week later, they all took their final exam – defence against the dark arts – and went straight from the exam hall to Hogsmeade. The seventh years were officially done for the school year (other than the final Quidditch match, as James kept reminding them) so they were allowed to come and go as they pleased, which of course meant that they used their first evening of freedom to go to The Three Broomsticks.

"First round's on me!" Sirius announced, taking Remus with him to the bar to help carry the drinks and also sneak in a quick celebratory snog. Lily and James were doing much the same thing opposite Peter at the table, so he was glad when Alice and Mary sat down with them.

The first round of drinks didn't last long – and nor did the second. They were onto their third round when the door opened and Alice let out a squeal of delight.

"Frank! What are you doing here!?" she asked, clambering over Mary to get to him.

"I thought I'd surprise you," he said, smiling. "And since I couldn't find you at Hogwarts it wasn't that much of a stretch to figure out that you'd be here."

In response Alice merely kissed him very enthusiastically, to a chorus of groans.

"Get a room!" James said.

"Get one yourself!" Alice retorted.

Frank just grinned. "Congratulations on finishing exams, everyone."

"To the end of exams!" Sirius shouted, lifting his glass in a toast, and everyone followed suit, clinking glasses and sloshing drinks onto the table.

"To Hogwarts!" Mary said.

"To the future!"

"To Professor McGonagall!"

"To Gryffindor winning our next match!"

"To never having to share classes with the Slytherins again!" Lily said, and everyone laughed.

"To no more detentions!"

The toasts got increasingly silly until they'd drunk to every good thing they could think of and needed to get more drinks.

When they'd quietened down, Remus asked Frank how he'd been, as they hadn't seen him in the year since he finished Hogwarts. Peter listened with interest, since he had no real plans and wondered what other people had done once they'd left school.

"Oh, this and that," Frank said vaguely. "I've not entirely settled down into anything yet."

"You must have done something worth telling us about," Sirius said. "Spill it."

Frank looked a little uncomfortable. "I'm not sure I should really talk about it. It's not like I've officially joined or anything, but I've been talking to Marlene…"

"Marlene?" James said, suddenly sounding soberer than he had a minute ago. "Is this about the group Dumbledore's forming?"

"How do you know about that?" Frank asked sharply, but then he shook his head. Lowering his voice, he said, "Never mind. I can't talk about it – not yet, and definitely not in somewhere so public. But the Daily Prophet isn't telling the real story of how bad things have been getting. There are more and more fights – and more deaths. Everything is changing."

Peter felt like the silence following Frank's words would never end, but then someone dropped a glass on the floor with a loud crash and just like that the moment was gone. The conversation moved on, first awkwardly and then naturally, and in minutes it seemed like everything Frank had said was forgotten. They drank and laughed and talked about the future, but Peter had grown quiet.

Hogwarts had been their home for seven years, had been a sanctuary for all of them in different ways, and without it he didn't know what would come next. Peter looked around at all of his friends, talking and laughing together, and realised that they'd probably never be together again in quite the same way. In a lot of ways he still felt like the little boy who had been blown away by the sight of the castle looming before him all those years ago. He was still the boy who had been so happy to be included in a group of friends – but they were growing up, and perhaps that meant growing apart. Peter wasn't sure what his place in the world was now.

Frank was right; everything was changing.

Maybe that meant that Peter had to change too.


	41. Darkness Takes The Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter contains mentions of death.

It was a bright day, the kind of perfect summer weather that always drove the students out onto the grounds to enjoy it. Exams were over and it was the last week of term, so everyone had gladly swapped their school robes for shorts and t-shirts and gathered in groups on the grass, stretching out in the sun or sitting with their feet dangling into the lake.

The only ones who didn't join them were the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff Quidditch teams, who had alternating practice sessions in the lead up to the last match of the year – the one that would decide who won the cup.

"Okay everyone," James said as the Gryffindor team spilled out of the changing rooms and onto the pitch. He gestured for them to gather round him. "This is the last chance we have to practice before the match. I know I don't need to tell you how important it is that we do this right. Hufflepuff are set to win the cup if we don't beat them by at least forty points, and we can't let that happen! This is my last year, and Sirius' and Mary's too, so we'll never get another shot at this. We won last year and we can't let anyone take that trophy away from us, do you hear me?!"

"Yes, sir!" Mary said sarcastically. James glared at her, so she added, "You don't need to worry, you know; we've got this match in the bag."

"We won't be winning anything if our seeker doesn't show up," Sirius said. "Benjy, where's Chloe?"

"She went home for the weekend for her brother's birthday," Benjy replied, glancing at his watch. "I know she was going shopping this morning for stuff for our trip but she said she'd be back here in time for practice."

"What's she buying for your romantic week away?" Sirius asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"I have a few guesses," Mary said, grinning.

Benjy went red. "Shut up! She's shopping with her mum, idiots. They probably just got carried away and are running late."

James frowned. "Doesn't she know how important this is? We're counting on her to get the snitch - she needs to be ready!"

"I'm sure she'll turn up before we're done," Mary said, shrugging. "Now are we practicing or just standing around talking about it?"

"Alright," James agreed, "everyone in the air."

"Gryffindor, Gryffindor, GRY-FFIN-DOR," Sirius chanted as they mounted their brooms, and the rest of the team joined in, all laughing and whooping as they whizzed across the pitch.

* * *

James felt exhilarated by the time the practice session was over. He, Benjy and Mary had been the team's chasers for long enough that they worked quickly and smoothly together, and the beaters had been so enthusiastic that James had needed to tell them to stop hitting the bludgers so hard before they sent one of their own teammates to the hospital wing. Chloe hadn't turned up, which was frustrating when the outcome of the match was so reliant on her, but the Hufflepuff seeker had only joined the team this year and James didn't think Chloe would have a difficult time beating him to the snitch.

They made their way back to Gryffindor Tower, complaining about the heat and planning to all freshen up before they joined their friends outside by the lake, but they were surprised to find that the common room was even more packed full of students than it had been during exam time. They barely made it through the portrait hole before getting stuck in the crowd, immediately being surrounded by people exchanging anxious glances and whispers.

Lily spotted them and quickly made her way over.

"What's going on?" Mary asked her.

"I'm not sure," Lily said. "Dumbledore came down to the lake and told everyone to go to their common rooms. McGonagall's about to make an announcement but she was waiting for you lot to get back, I think." Lily gestured and, sure enough, McGonagall was standing at the bottom of the stairs leading to the dorms, her lips pressed together and her hands clasped so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. "I tried to ask her about it since it seems like the Head Girl and Boy should know but she said she wanted to tell the whole house together."

Before James could reply, McGonagall began to speak and the whole house fell silent.

"Now that everyone is here, I'd like to have your attention." She paused, and James saw her swallow as though she was struggling to say whatever she had to tell them. "There is no easy way for any of you to hear this, but a Gryffindor student has passed away."

It was as though the whole house took a sharp breath at once, and heads turned as people tried to figure out who was missing.

James felt his heart grow cold, but even though he felt Lily take his hand and Benjy brush against him as his eyes frantically searched the crowd, he couldn't bring himself to look at either of them. He didn't want to see his pain reflected in someone else's expression as they came to the same conclusion he did.

McGonagall continued, her voice shaking slightly with what James realised was rage. "I wish I could tell you that it was a tragic accident, or a sudden illness, but it was not. It was a deliberate attack on muggles by the followers of the man – an evil brute – calling himself Voldemort. Chloe Bailey was a muggleborn, barely even sixteen, and she had the terrible luck of being caught in the attack. She was killed instantly."

Beside him, James heard Benjy make a sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob. Their shoulders touched and he could feel that Benjy was shaking. Grief was spilling from James' heart like ink through water as the words began to sink in.

_Chloe Bailey. Barely sixteen. Killed instantly._

McGonagall paused again, looking down at her hands to compose herself, and when she looked up her gaze briefly met James'.

"I'm very sorry for all of you, as I know how many of you loved her and cared about her, and I know how sorely she will be missed – I will miss her too. Her loss is a huge blow to everyone whose life she touched. If any of you need someone to talk to" – she glanced at Benjy – "my door will be open. Madam Pomfrey can prepare sleeping or calming draughts if anyone needs them. I hope that as Gryffindors you will all find the courage to support each other through this. This summer will be a difficult one for many of you and I trust you not to let anyone deal with this alone."

There were tears in her eyes, but she didn't shed them; James knew she was being strong for them, and he knew that as Head Boy he was supposed to be strong too, but he wasn't sure he was capable of it right now.

As McGonagall left and all eyes turned to Benjy, James felt Lily squeeze his hand pointedly. He clasped Benjy's shoulder, but before he could find the words that would offer some form of comfort – if words like that even existed – Benjy shrugged him off.

"Don't," he said. "I can't be here."

He practically ran out of the portrait hole, but when James tried to follow him, Sirius grabbed his arm. "Leave him be, Prongs."

"But he shouldn't be on his own," James protested. He felt like he had to help in some way, had to do whatever he could to fix this, had to do _something_.

Sirius shook his head. "He knows you're there for him, mate. If he wants to talk, he will." As though hearing James' thoughts aloud, he added, "There's nothing you can do right now. That's just the way it is."

* * *

Everything seemed different. James had walked through the castle a thousand times before, but today, walking hand in hand with Lily, he could feel a tightness in his chest that had never been there before. Everything felt wrong. He was used to Hogwarts being full of life and laughter, but now that had been replaced by a hollowness and eerie quiet that made him want to scream. Everyone had heard about Chloe, and the castle seemed to have fallen into a kind of stasis – no one knew what to say, or how they were supposed to react to their last week of school being defined by something so horrific.

No one had expected something like this, though maybe they should have.

It made James jump when the previously silent halls were suddenly filled with a shrill shout, and he felt Lily tense beside him, felt her hand in his slip away as she glared down the empty corridor.

It didn't take long for them to recognise the voice.

James hadn't seen Benjy since McGonagall had left the common room the previous day. He'd disappeared and, despite the concern of his friends, no one had managed to track him down. Until now. As if on cue, he appeared at the end of the corridor, and he wasn't alone.

Benjy's fists were clenched in the fabric of Avery's robes, but despite the fact that he was a head taller than the other boy, Benjy was still being shoved backwards.

"You killed her," he screamed in Avery's face. He was attempting to bring his fists down against the other boy's chest, but the sobs that were wracking his body seemed to be using up all his energy, making it far too easy for the Slytherin to push him away against the wall. "You killed her," Benjy said again, quieter this time, as if the words still didn't quite make sense to him. From what James could see, Avery had barely touched him, but Benjy still had one hand braced against the wall as though he might fall down at any moment.

"How exactly are we supposed to have touched your stupid girlfriend?" Avery said, regarding Benjy with thinly veiled disgust, "we were right here."

"You're just like them," Benjy spat, "you might as well have."

"I don't have time for this," Avery said. He turned away and James caught sight of who he was with – Snape and Rosier. "I bet you're a filthy mudblood just like your dead little - "

James saw what was about to happen a fraction of a second before Benjy moved. His body had gone rigid and a steely determination had set in his eyes.

Lily had obviously seen it too, because she attempted to call out to him, but it was too late. Benjy launched himself straight at Avery, both of them hitting the ground hard. He raised his arm as if to deliver a punch, but Rosier was on him before he could, forcing him onto his back on the unyielding stone floor.

Everything happened so quickly that by the time James and Lily reached them, Benjy was attempting to shield his face from Rosier's attack, while Snape helped Avery up off the ground.

"Get off him!" James shouted, grabbing Rosier by the back of his robes and pulling him away – but the second James let go, Rosier lunged at Benjy again. Lily pulled out her wand and blasted Rosier a good metre down the corridor. He scrambled up, and James was just about to go after him again when Slughorn turned down the corner and stumbled upon them.

"What on earth?" he began, before stopping to take in the scene. Lily had knelt beside Benjy, who had his head in his hands and was shaking. James and Rosier were only inches apart, both glowering at each other with their fists clenched, while Avery and Snape looked largely unconcerned by the commotion.

"That little wimp started it," Avery declared, gesturing to Benjy. He clearly expected his head of house to side with him, but Slughorn looked downright distressed.

"You three get back to the common room – I’ll deal with you later," he told the Slytherins coldly. "Merlin knows there has been enough bloodshed – "

The Slytherins looked stunned - even more so when Slughorn turned away from them and placed a careful hand on Benjy's shoulder. "Come along Mr. Fenwick," he said gently. "Madam Pomfrey can cook you up a nice calming draught that might help you feel a little better - grief is a terrible thing."

James and Lily watched as Benjy picked himself up and silently followed Slughorn, leaving the three Slytherins standing in front of them in silence.

"You heard him," James spat, "get out of here before we make you."

"I'd like to see you try," Avery threatened, taking a menacing step towards James.

He only stopped when Snape held up a hand to him and said, "don't give them the satisfaction. Potter likes to play the hero – why else would he surround himself with mudbloods and blood traitors? Let them delude themselves into believing the mudblood girl will be missed."

Even as the words left Snape's mouth James could feel anger rising in him. He had really tried – since becoming Head Boy, since he and Lily started dating – to rise above Snape's taunts. But this was too much. A sixteen-year-old girl – his friend – was dead. Benjy was right: someone had to pay.

Fuelled by pure rage, he reached for his wand, but just as his hand closed around the smooth wood, Lily stepped forward, pulled back her arm and punched Snape square in the jaw.

"Go to hell," she said, so close to Snape that the words were barely a whisper.

At any other time, James would have wanted to cheer. Now, he merely watched with a heavy heart as Lily turned to him with tears in her eyes, before taking his hand and pulling him away.

The boys shouted something after them, but James couldn't listen any more. He concentrated on the warmth of Lily's hand in his, in the presence of her beside him as they walked back down the corridor.

In the midst of all the thoughts that were battling for space in his brain, the one he settled on was how much difference it made, having Lily beside him when he felt as though the whole world was caving in on itself.

He stopped walking for a second and she glanced at him, asking, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," James said, "it's just – I love you, and I don't think I've told you that before."

"I know," Lily replied, managing a brief smile, "we'll get through this together."

* * *

The Quidditch match was on the last day of term, but the usual buzz of excitement about who would win the cup and everyone's summer plans was missing. The whole school had gone down to the pitch as always, but instead of the whoops and chants that could normally be heard from the Gryffindor changing room, there was only grim silence.

The seven of them got dressed in their Quidditch gear without speaking. They had a replacement speaker, Lisa, who had tried out for the position at the start of the year but not made the cut. Normally it was exciting for people to replace players who were injured or ill, but she was in Chloe's year, had shared a dorm with her for five years, and she looked on the verge of tears.

When they were all ready, James tried to give one of his usual rallying speeches.

"This is it," he said, attempting to smile, though it felt foreign to him, as though he'd forgotten how to over the past few days. "Our last match. I know we've got what it takes to win. I only wish - " He glanced at Lisa and saw that she was wiping away tears. Mary was biting her lip so hard to keep from crying that it was turning blue. Benjy - well, James had been surprised that Benjy even turned up, though really he was so distant that it was like he wasn't there anyway.

"I just wish that Chloe could be here to enjoy the victory," James finished, his voice sounding strained. "I know we – that she – "

Unable to find the words, he stepped away from the huddle they'd formed, running both his hands through his hair. Seeing what Chloe's death - her murder - had done to his friends was tearing him apart. He knew he was meant to hold it together, because that was always his job and always had been: whenever Sirius' family knocked him down, James picked him back up again; whenever Peter was teased, James stood up for him; whenever Remus wasn't feeling like himself near the full moon, James stayed with him until he made him laugh. James was Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, meant to be responsible and supportive. He was the glue that held people together.

But he couldn't even hold himself together anymore.

Overcome with a burst of fury, he balled his hand into a fist and punched the wall so hard that the brick splintered and pain ran up his arm.

No one said anything, and when James turned back around he saw that they all looked the way he felt: at once so full of emotions that they couldn't keep them inside, and yet at the same time like they'd been hollowed out, leaving only an empty shell behind. It felt wrong in so many ways to be standing in a space where they had shared so much triumph – had trained and laughed and lived. James could barely imagine feeling like he could laugh again, not when there was a conspicuous gap on the bench that Chloe usually filled; not when her jersey, with the shining number 4 on the back, was still hanging, alone, on the rack behind him.

"I can't do this," Benjy said after a long moment of silence between all of them. "The match. I'm out."

"Me too," Lisa said, her voice wavering. "It doesn't feel right."

Mary nodded. "Sorry James, I just can't see the point in Quidditch when it's so obvious that – that this isn't how it should have been."

James shook his head. "No, you're right," he said heavily. "It feels wrong to play without her. I'll go and talk to McGonagall."

"I'll come with you," Sirius offered.

"We'll all come," Benjy said. He had his arm around Lisa, who was still crying.

Sure enough, they all followed James out onto the pitch. The Hufflepuff team were already there, and when the Captain, Ashby, met James' eye, his expression was sympathetic.

McGonagall and the referee were standing in the centre of the pitch waiting for them. Only the Captains were meant to step up to the middle at the start of the match, but James glanced back to see that his whole team was right behind him.

"Professor, we're not playing," James said. "Chloe should be here, and we can't play without her. We forfeit the match."

McGonagall didn't look at all surprised. She touched James' arm gently and smiled sadly back at the rest of the team. "I understand," she said.

She turned to the referee, who looked to James and said, "In that case I'll have to announce that Hufflepuff win the cup by default."

"No." Ashby, the Hufflepuff Captain, had joined them and was frowning. "That wouldn't be right – not after what's happened." He glanced back at his team and with a small decisive nod said, "we forfeit too."

James nodded to him. Even the people who didn't know Chloe personally seemed to be horrified by what had happened to her. He hoped it would mean that they would be more willing, in the future, to stand up for muggleborns like her.

"Very well, then," the referee said. "I'll make an announcement."

They all turned to leave as she addressed the crowd, hurriedly stuffing the unused Quidditch supplies back into their boxes and changing out of their uniforms. The Gryffindor team led the way back to the castle, but Lily, Remus and Peter caught up with them, and though none of them spoke, James was glad to know that they were there.

As Lily fell into step with him, he wished with all his heart that he could look at her and only think of her red hair spread across his pillow in the morning, or the look she would get in her eye right before they kissed. He wished he could only think of Sirius as the brother he never knew he wanted until he met a smart-mouthed eleven-year-old on the train, and of Remus and Peter as just the friends who had made his time at school everything he could have hoped for. But that wasn't true anymore. Now he looked at them and felt a gnawing fear too.

They'd all known there was a fight coming, but until now James had never stopped to think about all the people who mattered to him – how lucky he was to have his friends, his family, his girlfriend. And he had never realised how much he had to lose.


	42. Epilogue

Despite everything, the train ride home was peaceful.

Deep down, Lily was still full of anguish over the events of the past week, but as their train pulled out of Hogsmeade station and they crowded around the window to watch as Hogwarts disappeared behind them, she allowed a sense of calm to take over.

It was easy, when she was sitting in a warm train compartment with her friends, watching the countryside roll past the window, to imagine that everything was just how it should be – to imagine a future where she and James went home to their new flat and lived a long, contented life together. She knew that they were both Gryffindors at heart and wouldn't be happy without a little bit of excitement, but right now she longed only for quiet.

Usually, the journey home from Hogwarts seemed to drag, and Lily would waste time playing chess with Mary or talking about what the next year at school might bring. But this was the last time she would ride on the Hogwarts Express, and every minute that passed took her further from the life she had known for the past seven years and closer to the future looming ahead of her. She had been accepted as a trainee healer, knew where she would be living with James, knew that the other boys would be close by – yet the future felt more uncertain than ever, and she wasn't sure that she was ready for it.

Her parents were getting older, her father was growing more unwell, muggleborns were being targeted more and more, and the shadow of death was hanging over all of their heads like a storm cloud just before a downpour.

Only time would tell how their lives would turn out, she thought, as James turned to look at her, his messy hair falling into his eyes. He was engrossed in a conversation with Peter, who, she noticed for the first time, looked much more tired than she remembered seeing him before.

She smiled at James and glanced across the compartment at Sirius. He was looking out of the window, preoccupied with watching the glint of sunlight off the water as they passed a large lake. He had his arm draped casually around Remus, who had dozed off next to him.

Mary was in the next carriage down with Alice, and Lily felt a sudden overwhelming rush of affection for all of them. She hadn't expected to end up with the group of friends she now had – she certainly hadn't thought she'd end up moving in with James Potter – but she was thankful that they were all in her life and that they could all simply be together on a beautiful day and feel so comfortable in each other's company.

Moments like this didn't make the sadness they all felt go away, but they made it possible to see a future where the ache of grief wasn't quite so strong.

There was darkness surrounding them, she knew that, but they were together, and as long as that was true, she thought there was still plenty of light left too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!   
> There will (eventually) be a sequel to this called Darkness Takes The Day.


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